bits of hanoi

for more of them...you've got to visit...
http://www.flickr.com/photos/obll/sets/72157594398820609/ or http://picasaweb.google.com/gingerobll/JustAGlimspeOfIt

the answer is definite

you will say, no he will never agree!
[but how would you know when you have not even ask?]

she might say, don't worry he will never say no!
[you have not ask, how can you be sure?]

he would think, no sweat she will definitely agree!
[are you sure disagreemen is totally out of the picture?]

assume...assume...assume...
why assume when one can just exercise the mouth to ask?
but if one is so sure that the answer is definite, then why even ask?

assumption...the roots of all evil! it just destroy the relationship between question & answer.

what do you have to say about being in love?

its almost a year since i started this relationship...and for that my good friend asked me this question..."what do you have to say about being in love?"

guess what's my answer? a short five sentences.....

sour when you are jealous
sweet nothings with things going fine
bitterness when quarrels and arguments step in
spicy...a taste that you can't take well but still love it
being in love is like tasting the flavours of life......

losing focus

lately have a sense of lost, losing the focus i used to have....
can no longer concentrate on the daily work, interest seems to diminish...

and start to think of things like this....
is this the work i like?
is it the right one for me?
is this the way i want to go on and on?

for once i long to venture out, to start a biz i call my own...
a small little cafe might be nice, where i can truely enjoy each & every single day, despite it might be harder work...
but then again, this is a real hard world, so its reality i would have to face......

The Oyster

there once was an oyster
whose story i tell,
who found that some sand
had got into his shell.

it was only a grain,
but it gave him great pain.
for oysters have feelings
although they're so plain.

now, did he berate
the harsh workings of fate
that had brought him
to such a deplorable state?

did he curse at the government,
cry for election,
and claim that the sea
should have given him protection?

'no,' he said to himself
as he lay on a shell,
since i cannot remove it,
i shall try to improve it.

now the years have rolled around,
as the years always do,
and he came to his ultimate
destiny ? stew.

and the small grain of sand
that had bothered him so
was a beautiful pearl
all richly aglow.

now the tale has a moral,
for isn't it grand
what an oyster can do
with a morsel of sand?

what couldn't we do
if we'd only begin
with some of the things
that get under our skin.

。。。。。。

got out from a long 3 hours after-office-hour meeting...totally stressed out...lots of unhappiness from boss...lots of wrong updates...lots of things undone...lots of stuff to follow-up...yet soon be away for one long week...haiz

got a call...which doesn't help much...might be the touchy mood of mine or the other...either of which it just make things worst...haiz

got a thinking...that expectation is forming...that disappointment is piling...haiz

got a feeling...that the choice might be wrong...that the move was not right...haiz

mood of the day:
tired am i...no energy for anything else...totally depleted......

New Environment...New Challenges

been long since i last posted...this blog is not dead yet...its just that i have landed myself in a new environment, facing new challenges......

challenges, a part of life...a process where one gets stronger......

i learn, learn to do things without thinking if i can do it...
i learn, learn to just do it without thinking of the worst......

struggling hard...holding on......

感激

感激我周围所有的好友，我生命里的那个他。。谢谢你们给于我的所有支持，鼓励与帮助。

你们在黑暗中给我带来了无限的曙光，让我在迷失后找到了新的方向，让我拥有从新站起来的勇气，继续走下去的力量！

也许你们不晓得，但真的，你们那无私的帮助与鼓励带给了我很大的力量。。笔墨无法形容我那万分的感激。。若没有你们，我也许就无法在短时间站起。

收拾心情，向往明天，全新出发！

我没事了，你们放心吧！

谅解。。。

谅解。。好可贵的一样东西。。好难得到，我好渴望的一份礼物。。。

很多时候，很多事情，很多人都会说他们谅解。。但真的是这样吗？或只是一时的不耐，一时的敷衍?

口是心非是很多人都会的, 说谅解但所做的一切却很明显的告诉他人相反的意识。。非真心的谅解，表面的谅解会带给人多大的伤害，这也许是很多人无法体会的。。。

当一个人以为他备受谅解但却发现并非如此时，那种无奈是无法形容的。。。

当一个人遇到挫折，跌到谷底，非常失落时。。他所需要的不是无尽的道理，不断的催促。。道理谁都懂，但这时所需要的并非这些。。真心的谅解，无尽的支持，关怀与体贴。。反而能够让人有站起来的力量，面对现实的勇气，继续走下去的意志力。。。

很多事情并非我不想尝试，不想尽力。。但现在的我真的已精疲力尽。。连走下去的力气都快用尽了!

自我给于的压力很大，家人给于的无限压力让人透不过气，我想够了吧。。也许我太没用了，一丝的压力，小小的挫折就让我毫无力气。。精疲力尽。。也许未到达极限，但我真的不想到达极限。。请让我歇一歇吧。。。

weak at times

many bad times, many lousy moods, i always look myself in the mirror...and tell myself that i can do it...things will turn out fine! it does helps and does lift my mood and change my peception over them.

i'm not a total pessimist...i try my very best to be optimistic over matters, but....sometimes...somethings...are so great that i'm just powerless over it....

i'm really not as great or capable as all think i am...expectation too high will just get me breathless...stress out...breakdown...

i might look tough, and be tough...but there are times where i'll be weak...totally out of energy...its unavoidable really...no one can be tough all the times! rest is all i need really...a total breather...i can pick myself up...something i'm really sure i can, but pls give me the time to do so.

no words can describe....

a huge turn in my life, but some might think otherwise. what's the big deal about it, many might think of it, but it sure meant quite a bit to me. for those close to me, you would know what i'm referring to.

all the help that you have given, all the trouble you have went through, all the care and concern that i've got from you...really touches my heart deeply...no words i can use to describe my thousand tks and appreciation.

'you' referring to all the piggies and a few others...all those who will know who you are...all my sincere friends who are there to help when in need...are there to share in times of joy. tks guys and gals...really...tks!

esp a person whom i'm glad he is in my life...my dearest ed, tks for being there!

love is not blind?

a quote that i came across, how true i find it to be...ironically ironic...

"love is not blind,
it sees more and not less,
because it sees more,
it choose to see less"

what's your take on this?

问世间情为何物，
只叫人生死相许。。。

淡忘 。珍惜 。向往

回忆最美，失去的最珍贵。
但现有的最真实，懂得珍惜最重要。
淡忘过去，向往未来最幸福。。。

Yesterday is history,
Tomorrow is a mystery,
Today is a gift,
That's why it's called the present.
Treasure...

misunderstanding her

got this article from a friend...find it quite interesting and true...but still can't say the same for all women...no one think exactly alike in this world.

guys out there...can never understand what a women think? don't know how to communicate to one? then you gota read this!

This article will be mainly addressed to men. Here the most typical mistakes that men commit in communication with women are presented. Sometimes the reaction of women on this/that situation is interpreted incorrectly by men, so that the response reaction can be inadequate as well, leading to total destruction of relationships.

Emotionally adequate communication: generally women’s behavior is more emotional than men’s. Though the most emotional women are sometimes simply not quite self-confident, every woman wants her man to talk to her in common language of emotions. Men hardly use female language, considering Latin or Greek to be easier to learn. This gap in communication provokes most of acute problems and conflicts. Imagine a casual conversation between man and woman:

She: How do you feel?
He: I’m ok.
She: No, how do you feel really?
He: I don’t know how I feel. You always ask the same question and get the same answer.
She: But why you don’t know? You should know how you feel.
He: I don’t think so much about feelings.
She: But I want to know what you feel about us and all other things.
He: I am fine, really.
She; It can’t be called like fine.
He: Listen here, don’t tell me what I feel and what I should feel.
She begins to cry.

So what has really happened? Actually a woman wanted to help the man, to make him feel comfortable, and in reality she made him think about what he got used to hide – his feelings, that’s why he behaved in a hostile way. Eventually all men will consider the behavior of the man in this situation quite normal and reasonable.

So if a man wants to become proficient in emotional aspect, it is important to learn to understand your feelings:

Most anthropologists say that people usually feel the following emotions:
Happiness
Fear
Fury
Love
Sorrow
Doubt
Compassion
Boredom
Disgust

You can learn how to express your feelings doing one simple exercise: concentrate and try to remember how you perceive this or that emotion, then try to express it through the sound: love arises soft sound, disgust – sharp, fury – growling. The more often you do the exercise, the faster you will be able to express your feelings in a proper manner.

Stop blaming each other: Even if you suppose that woman makes you feel uncomfortable, asking about your emotions she is striving to be closer to you; if you behave aggressively she may think that she is the reason for problems and irritation.

First – compassion – then help: Imagine your woman comes to you and complains, that she had an unpleasant talk with her boss in the morning because she was late - what will you ask after that? First of all, you will ask how many minutes she was late for, then advise how to behave in order to avoid such situations in future… you will hardly tell that you understand her and share her feelings. But that is the reaction she is waiting for! Remember to begin with compassion, and only then mildly advise her how to get out of the situation.

You can make her become better: Sometimes men face the strong desire to make their women better either physically or morally. It is a dangerous step to take, you will hardly achieve the success if you put pressure on her. Only if she asks for your opinion about her appearance, express your opinion carefully.

Remember about the force of compliments: tell them sincerely, moreover it is such an easy and available way to make her happy!

Who is the head? of course you are, a man, but when you ask for a favor, include into your speech such poliet phrases like: "My dear, could you please", "Will you be so kind", and address her like "Dear", "Darling", "Honey", "Sweetheart" - you will get even more than you have asked for.

Demand for intimacy: imagine that you live with a woman, she wants to be near and to share all the moments of your life. Is it too much for you? In her childhood a woman had a best friend, and now she wants her partner to be her all. That is why your desire to spend Saturday night with your friend in the bar, drinking beer and chattering, she would consider like betrayal.

And finally some more useful advice in brief: when you speak with a woman, try to involve her into conversation, listen to her and respect her opinion. Remember – it is a dialogue, not a soliloquy.

When you talk to her, look into her eyes, don’t examine her figure or revert the eyes, otherwise she will think that you are absolutely not interested in communication with her.

This piece of advice will probably ease your life and help to build strong and confidential relations with your partners.

nice quotes to share

some friendly promise in your face i view;
you stretch your arms, when i stretch mine to you,
smile when i smile, and answer tears with tears...

seek the wisdom of ages, but look at the world through the eyes of a child.

the best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched; they must be felt with the heart.

Don't Worry, Be Happy!

would like to share with you this interesting song, which i came across (written in a cute little photography book) while killing my time away at kinokuniya last evening:

Don't Worry Be Happy

Here's a little song I wrote
You might want to sing it note for note
Don't Worry - Be Happy

In every life we have some trouble
But when you worry you make it Double
Don't Worry - Be Happy
Don't Worry - Be Happy now
Don't Worry - Be Happy
Don't Worry - Be Happy

Ain't got no place to lay your head,
Somebody came and took your bed
Don't Worry - Be Happy

The landlord say your rent is late,
He may have to litigate
Don't Worry - Be Happy
Look at Me - I'm Happy
Don't Worry - Be Happy

Here I give you my phone number
When you worry call me, I make you happy
Don't Worry - Be Happy

Ain't got not cash, ain't got no style,
Ain't got no gal to make you smile
Don't Worry - Be Happy

'Cause when you worry your face will frown
and that will bring everybody down
Don't Worry - Be Happy
Don't Worry, Don't Worry - Don't do it
Be Happy - Put a smile on your face
Don't bring everybody down
Don't Worry, it will soon pass, whatever it is
Don't Worry - Be Happy
I'm not worried, I'm happy....

(by Bobby McFerrin)

a beautiful evening

standing at the doorway looking up the sky,
i see dark clouds floating by,
but the wind was strong and blew them away,
beyond that guess what i saw,
rays of sunshine on the orange tinted sky,
oh! what a beautiful sight!

完美的瑕疵

无论任何人，事，或物。。都有瑕疵的存在。而瑕疵。。完美与否。。只在于能否接受它的存在。一旦接受了，真正从心底去接受它之后，一切就会在霎那间变得完美！奇妙吧？很多时候，人往往总爱把瑕疵用放大镜把它给放大来看，而忽略了默默坚守在一旁的美。这么一来所有的美都不存在了，因为眼睛里所能看到的就只有瑕疵。但如果能够同时把美也放大的话，把两者融为一体来看，也许瑕疵则会变得渺小，微不足道了！到那时一切则会变得完美无瑕！！

Be Your Own Cheerleader

A Slice of Life

Be Your Own Cheerleader

Complex our minds may be, but it can really only hold one thought at a time. If you're looking for a way to feel better at any given moment, all you have to do is change what you are focusing on. Your brain is a very powerful tool that you own and you should use to your advantage.

When was the last time you were reminiscing about a great time in your life and it made you feel terrible? When was the last time you were thinking about a painful event in your life and it made you feel good? These paradoxes exist because what you focus on is what you get!

With this in mind, the next time you find yourself in a less than desirable situation, be sure to find the positive side of it and focus your attention on that. Not only will you feel better about the situation, but also you will actually be in a better frame of mind to work through it. With this mind-set you will find yourself focusing on the solution rather than the problem.

The best way to control your focus is to ask yourself good questions. Such as "what can I find that is good in this situation?"..."what have I learned from this that will make me more successful the next time?"...or "how can I make this situation better?" By asking yourself effective questions, you will force your brain to look for and find a solution for what you can do to solve a problem and how you can make a situation better.

On the other hand, if you ask yourself self-defeating questions - such as "why does this always happen to me?"..."why can't I have that?"..."what did I do to deserve this?" and similar ilk, your brain will look for those exact answers and tell you why bad things happen to you, why you can't have something and why you deserve something bad. Now it's one thing when someone else tells you something like that, but when you tell it to yourself, you are sure to believe it! So be your own best cheerleader.

Practise focusing on positive thoughts and learn to ask yourself effective questions that will lead to constructive answers. If you look hard enough, there will always be a positive side to every situation. And for the challenges you must face in life, focus on the solution, not the problem. If you focus on the problem at hand, you will never find the solution. Focus on your dreams and they will become a reality. Ask yourself, "how can I reach my dream?"

Don't be surprised when your brain gives you the answer!

Post from Anonymous - II

Time heals all wounds?

Time can't heal all wounds;
Time is just what we are living by;
It is us who is doing the healing;
Time is only the external factor;

We disregard time when we are doing our healing; only till one day, when we bump into that person, then you realised how long it has been...
Because we all should know and keep this in mind; we HAVE to get over it, and NOT we WILL get over it;
It takes effort to start to stop thinking about it, and that effort is powered by the knowledge that we have to get over things as life has to go on...

时间可以让你淡忘过去， 但是你必须有个开头, 时间才可以和你配合!
It's all in the mind...Time can't help when you don't intiate...it takes two hands to clap!

Post from an Anonymous

男人 = 难人 ！！
难以了解的人
爱围难人的人

for men: 女人 = 烦人
to women: 女人 = 犯人 (cos we are in their jail of love)

true or not? for you to comment.

p.s.
one thing for sure...obviously this is written by a 女人 *wink*

a gang of ‘pigs’

don’t be mistaken, the ‘pigs’ here are no silly or dumb; ugly or fat, but a group of intellectual kind souls. yup, intelligent and kind, not one but all…all the 14 of us. what a braggart!? well…that is how i feel and strongly feel…maybe excluding myself? as that should be for the rest to judge…so piggies do you say the same for me?

how should i start introducing this gang, piggy gang, a name we got for our group. why pigs of all animals? well…i also can’t remember clearly…a time when we start calling each other ‘pigheads’…and it just got stuck with us.

got to know some of the piggies, back in jul, through a long lost primary cum secondary school friend of mine. at first it was just the few of us, weekly blading session at east coast park, but from there on, the group just gets bigger, with each bringing pals of theirs. from weekly sports session; movies and chit-chatting over coffee, to crazy celebrations of piggies’ birthdays; unforgettable holiday trips, x’mas & new year celebrations. the piggies does it all, together as a group.

6mths, not a very short nor long time, but i should say short for the kind of bonding we have within the group, all of us who used to belong to different groups, coming together and click like magic. its really amazing, the fun we had; the support we gave one another; the confide we have…its just magical!

and now…introducing the piggies…starting from the one who start it all, who got the few of us together, on a bright & sunny sunday afternoon in jul: alicia (the meow), andy (the woof), bernis (the sleeping beauty), clarence (the smdj), edward, edwin (the froggie), jasmine (the jasmine flower), jason (the pighead), joycelyn, xiujuan, sebas (the guitarist), teck, yvonne, and not forgetting myself.

few words for the piggies:
no words can really describe how thankful i am to have known each and every one of you. to be truthful, my lifestyle changed ever since then, from a monotonous boring one to a fun and loving one. its not the fun that you all have brought into my life, but the sincerity that i get from all of you that i truly treasure. i really hope that the spirit can continue, and the group will still have the same bonding, 10yrs down the road.

good or bad?

people tend to brood over the unhappy happenings, blame themselves and others for it, and end up feeling down and mad. this just make the life journey hard and miserable, why not look at things in another way? there are always two sides to everything. for every adverse occurrence, there will be something worth learning from, and whatever you learn will aid in the next step you take.

so is it a good or bad? that would have to depend on if you learn from it. it is a lot easier to learn from others, but way harder to learn from yourself, your own history, own setbacks. ironically, it is always what you learn from your own that is beneficial to yourself.

a phrase that i came across from an article in ‘a slice of life’, a meaningful one which i would like to share:

“there's no use in overreacting to the events and circumstances of our everyday lives. many times what looks like a setback, may actually be a gift in disguise. and when our hearts are in the right place, all events and circumstances are gifts that we can learn valuable lessons from.”

for the full story: http://www.938live.sg/asol/Newsletter/4Jan.htm

art of perfection

very often you will get to hear this sentence make by many “he/she is not bad except for...” well...who in this world is perfect? even if you were to come across one, would you believe so? i doubt so. the first question that might flash in your mind would be “how can he/she be so perfect? there must be somewhere that is not.”

so you might wonder…then why the title on art of perfection? well…perfection or not will boil down to each individual’s perception towards it. for me…my own and personal theory would be…human being are all short-sighted…so…“look at the good points and overlook the bad ones.” with this theory of mine, all would be perfect, and life would be happier…so why not?

勇气之书

好友借了我一本很有趣，很可爱的“勇气之书”。。在此挑选了几段与你们分享。。

“如果，你有些矛盾，对未来的路失去继续下去的力气。。。
我想我是虚弱的，因此我必须不时地提醒自己，
要努力，要坚强，要有耐心，有勇气，
当初你给我的勇气，现在借由小勇与米小鼠(书中人物),
我将它转回给你;给你给我的勇气。”

那些阻你碍你的，
常常不是谁或者环境；
那些该死的阻力，
通常来自你犹豫不定，游移的心。

会不会，懂不懂，行不行，
都不是问题。
真正的问题是，
你想不想。

都过去了，别再想了。
该来的来，该去的，就让他去。
（事情没那么麻烦，那么坏，你有我在，烦恼减半。）

总有时候，我们得努力骗自己没事，
这样日子才过得下去啊。

哎呀呀。
就说嘛，人算不如天算。
所以，尽力做好现在！
你就是你。

最难的是，找回自己，并做回自己。

我不需要回答你。
你，只是在问自己。
大部分的时间，大部分的事，
你，都清楚该这么做，
不是吗？

以为只要付出很多，
就可以得到很多。
问题时，大部分的事，
都用我们所不能理解的程式，
在计算，在运作啊！
所以，我们还是只管付出，
别问回报吧。

世界上有两种人。
一种人面对现实，一种人逃避。
逃避的人活得比较轻松。
面对现实的人充满勇气无限！！

人一闲啊，就会有疑虑。
所以振作振作，
别老是太闲，
胡思乱想，
想东想西。

因为碰到这么多事，
我才会改变。
不！应该是说；
我，不得不。
（其实，有时，改变也可能是件好事。）