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24241111.

Thank you all for your well wishes. Deeply appreciated.

observation

yes, a student i may be now. and pretty soon i will be entering the work force (horrible thought).

i've been noticing this now for a very long period of time, and i haven't exactly bring this up. but i feel that sometimes, we are just too caught up with what we are doing, and we tend to lose the ability to feel what is going on around us. and i think that's pretty sad. like how people would rather spend 45 seconds to compose a text than to go out to tell the message directly to the person face to face, when it will only take one third the time.

somehow there's this correlation between degree holders and the lack of 'feel'. not sure if it's because during the 3, 4 years of education, we have all become more selfish to get the grade we desire, or the class of honours that we want. and a part of us is lost somewhere along the way. somehow, i just don't believe in this paper chase. never before, and i'm still holding to what i believe in.

of course, there has to be balance. i admit i haven't been doing a great job of being a student, perhaps a great deal of it is due to my ego.

also, not everybody i've met is like that. and i'm grateful for meeting these people. in fact, some of them are really admirable. they are not as callous, and still have the grades. they haven't lose themselves during this period of time.

not judging anybody here, just an honest observation. of course, everybody has their own reasons. it's not really their fault either. hmm. really think i belong to a kampung. :X

last time i would have to take exams now. only 2 papers this sem. and it's pretty late. most would have taken their papers yesterday/today/tomorrow. pretty lucky for my timetable. have to deal with mini fyp and poster presentation thus far. supposed to start studying today. failed attempt at home. will be more productive tmr.

tomorrow, the eight of november

will be 4 days, and 4 years since i ord.

throughout this period of time, the bulk of it has been spent on as a student, as an undergrad.

my transcript may reflect a picture of how unfocused i am, how ill-disciplined i am as a student during this period of time. but i think i have learnt a lot of stuff that transcends beyond that of the lectures and tutorials. yes, there will be times where i am going to look back at this period of time and wonder about the 'what if's and 'but yeah's and wish that my ego hasn't been that big and just be a mugger like everybody else, but i'm going to remember something that i came across today. and i find it to be very meaningful.

Don't regret anything, because at some point in time, it was exactly what you wanted.

I looked back at the past 4 years and yes i have had my fair share of regrets. for sure.

regrets that everyone, who knows me, will know.

regrets that perhaps, those who were close to me at some point in time will know.

regrets that maybe, those in contact with me, will know.

regrets that certainly, only one or two, will know.

regrets that definitely, only i, will know.

and i thought about the statement.

and yes. regrets they may be. but as a reminder to myself, they were nevertheless the choices i have chose at that point in time. and no. there shouldn't be regrets. because. at that very point in time. it was exactly what i had wanted.

if there's anything, it's the lack of discipline that is a very big weakness.

where's my pen.

every sentence, has so much meaning.

kind of miss writing.

goes well, listening to adele.