reflections

finished the last episode of survivor s23. i thought coach played a brilliant game, a pity a few members of the jury didn't think so. and it made me looked back and realized that in more ways than one, we are not very much different. if i were a contestant on the island, i guessed the closest player i would have taken after would have been him, strategically speaking.

it also made me realized that, try as we may to please everybody, unfortunately, things will never be what we would like or want things to end up the way they are. had been looking for this group of friends i could hang around with, the closest to the alliance of 5 in survivor lingo, and sometime along the way i gave out. after a couple of sems, i knew that i had any chance of getting that accomplished, because of time, priorities, and thinking. so things just become natural, i still have a couple of people i'm in contact with and i'm grateful of their presence, and their influence in my life. be it supper, or mahjong sessions, this period of time will be one that i would really enjoy looking back, because it would be the one before i start moving on to a proper work life. it's highly unlikely that we would all be able to travel overseas together in a big group as we did in year 1 or 2, because of different schedules that we all have or will have in the near future, and i think those trips are really take aways that are truly memorable.

2011.

artist for this year, adele.

bringing us the album, 21.

song for this year, someone like you.

from 21, adele.

a close second will be jars of heart, kept me company for the start of the year, but they were songs from previous years, along with i will follow you into the dark (death cab for cutie), body parts (plain white T's)

movie, 那些年，我們一起追的女孩.

a taiwanese film adapted from the book, which i actually possess in 2009 from my trip to KL. still unwrapped though. planning to start on it. didn't want to read any of the reviews and watch any of the trailers. caught it expecting it to be a romantic comedy. didn't know about the nc16 rating at all. or was it 18. hm. it was good.

this year,

we had 2 elections.

greece and euro.

granddad was ill, very ill, during exam time in the second sem of year 3.

attended gss, troyes.

granddad past away soon after, during my time there.

grew to know my course mates better.

most from hall graduated.

i entered a relationship.

haven't watch the reunion of survivors, wondering how coach must be feeling. people walk in and out of our lives. losing people in our lives may not be hard, but losing friends is a bitter pill to swallow.

choices.

not all choices are as simple as choosing between solids and stripes.

sometimes the other part may see things in a different perspective so when a choice is made by them, no matter how much it may not work in our favour. let's put on a smile and get on with life.

let's wish them success and happiness.

was i really that selfish and insensitive?

24

24241111.

Thank you all for your well wishes. Deeply appreciated.

observation

yes, a student i may be now. and pretty soon i will be entering the work force (horrible thought).

i've been noticing this now for a very long period of time, and i haven't exactly bring this up. but i feel that sometimes, we are just too caught up with what we are doing, and we tend to lose the ability to feel what is going on around us. and i think that's pretty sad. like how people would rather spend 45 seconds to compose a text than to go out to tell the message directly to the person face to face, when it will only take one third the time.

somehow there's this correlation between degree holders and the lack of 'feel'. not sure if it's because during the 3, 4 years of education, we have all become more selfish to get the grade we desire, or the class of honours that we want. and a part of us is lost somewhere along the way. somehow, i just don't believe in this paper chase. never before, and i'm still holding to what i believe in.

of course, there has to be balance. i admit i haven't been doing a great job of being a student, perhaps a great deal of it is due to my ego.

also, not everybody i've met is like that. and i'm grateful for meeting these people. in fact, some of them are really admirable. they are not as callous, and still have the grades. they haven't lose themselves during this period of time.

not judging anybody here, just an honest observation. of course, everybody has their own reasons. it's not really their fault either. hmm. really think i belong to a kampung. :X

last time i would have to take exams now. only 2 papers this sem. and it's pretty late. most would have taken their papers yesterday/today/tomorrow. pretty lucky for my timetable. have to deal with mini fyp and poster presentation thus far. supposed to start studying today. failed attempt at home. will be more productive tmr.

tomorrow, the eight of november

will be 4 days, and 4 years since i ord.

throughout this period of time, the bulk of it has been spent on as a student, as an undergrad.

my transcript may reflect a picture of how unfocused i am, how ill-disciplined i am as a student during this period of time. but i think i have learnt a lot of stuff that transcends beyond that of the lectures and tutorials. yes, there will be times where i am going to look back at this period of time and wonder about the 'what if's and 'but yeah's and wish that my ego hasn't been that big and just be a mugger like everybody else, but i'm going to remember something that i came across today. and i find it to be very meaningful.

Don't regret anything, because at some point in time, it was exactly what you wanted.

I looked back at the past 4 years and yes i have had my fair share of regrets. for sure.

regrets that everyone, who knows me, will know.

regrets that perhaps, those who were close to me at some point in time will know.

regrets that maybe, those in contact with me, will know.

regrets that certainly, only one or two, will know.

regrets that definitely, only i, will know.

and i thought about the statement.

and yes. regrets they may be. but as a reminder to myself, they were nevertheless the choices i have chose at that point in time. and no. there shouldn't be regrets. because. at that very point in time. it was exactly what i had wanted.

if there's anything, it's the lack of discipline that is a very big weakness.

where's my pen.

every sentence, has so much meaning.

kind of miss writing.

goes well, listening to adele.

what is of interest.

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Newton 3 Laws of Graduation

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we could have had it all

looping.

lesser updates from favourites.

hm. i guess after a while.

people have more commitments,

they become lazy,

another medium of outlet is available..

posts become lesser, or they just stop blogging for good.

take every chance, drop every fear.

the older we become

the more insignificant a two dollar note becomes.

the harder it is to open our mouth in the classroom.

the further we run (away) from our parents.

the more we play hide and seek.

the shorter our memory span becomes.

the more we play with fire.

the softer our screams; the louder silence becomes.

the more intangible our needs become.

the tighter day-dreaming and dozing-off binds themselves into our daily lives.

the faster passion is replaced by fashion.

the more afraid we are of water.

the harder it is to wave/ greet/ appreciate.

the less yes we say to strangers; the more no to friends.

the quicker colours fade to monochromatic shades of grey.

the longer the list of friends; the less we know of them.

the less we bother to understand.

the more afraid we are to sleep alone at night.

our actions.

the things we do are a clear reflection of what is on our minds.

Summer

4 weeks of studying in Troyes, France.

3 weeks of holiday around Central Europe.

2 weeks of soaking up the culture in Hong Kong.
1 week of getting my life back in order.

and summer is over just like that.

blur cock.

took off for the airport hoping to receive a friend of mine.

luckily he replied saying that his flight is only tomorrow night. and the red light.

just in time before i hit the highway.

i remembered him saying he would be back wednesday wad. and today is tuesday. so what's wrong?

i think i'm going to fall sick really really soon.

seldom fall sick, but when it hits me. it's really bad.

the last time i fell sick was in the first year of army.

right after i passed out from pti course.

and the whole block leave i had, i was in bed. yikes.

it's time.

mum said my stay in singapore was a hotel stay.

with good reason because i just finished day 6 in hong kong.

uh huh. bought a one way ticket over.

shall get my return ticket tonight.

time to end my summer vacation.

on a holiday

we tend to forget what is going..

on back home.

around the world.

on with friends.

i'm in a big big bubble.

i've lost all sense of time.

slightly more than a month since the semester had ended.

flown straight to gss troyes, paris right after that.

and school started immediately the very next week.

met a few others who had been great company.

and totally different personalities from what i had thought they would be initially.

spent weekends in paris and london.

bad news came from home after a week.

perhaps being away from it seemed to lessen the blow

results soon came out for the previous sem.

it was somewhat disappointing.

4 weeks in school soon ended.

and frantic packing and rushing for projects and final paper was done on the final 2 days.

post gss adventure began.

met gaudi works in barcelona.

walked along the familiar streets of amsterdam.

got blown away by praha.

had first delay travelling (8hr bus delay) en route to budapest.

budapest was surprisingly pleasant.

taking a pitstop in mozart's salzburg for tonight.

eastern european journey would end after visiting ljubjana the next two night.

back to sunny italy for 5 or 6 days.

ending the last few days in paris.

the summer heat is already getting to me.

will post pictures up soon once i run through them.

Compromise

Give and take...learn to give and take.

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please don't fall for me.

a post. perhaps two years late.

maybe if i had post this earlier.

who knows how their lives could have been so much better for them.

an entry i really wish i had the guts to put up.

i really don't want to intrude into people's lives.

and turn their lives upside down.

new wave.

unless you are in it, you wouldn't know it.

judging from the number of negative responses as to how aljunied has fallen to WP, i guess in a way, people who has been under the guidance of a party would not know how it feels like.

much like how i wouldn't know why mr chiam see tong will have the respect of potong pasir all this while, or how certain people would stand by steadfastly to the party they believe in.

anyway, i always believe in giving people respect. george yeo may have lost his grc, but i have nothing but respect for the man the way he has led his team, and the way he has handled is loss is remarkable.

well politics is a dirty game anyway.

i guess everybody has exercised their right to vote. whoever they may have chosen, void votes. we should all respect their decision. maybe we weren't convincing enough.

Every vote counts

I believe that we could spark a change, this time round.

I hope the results will prove me right in a while.

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Casting the first vote.

The proximity of exams so near election dates and my grandfather's condition of late have kept me away from following the election campaign of certain parties and individuals as much as i would like to. It's more so of the second reason because the first reason was a result of the latter reason. Anyway, i'm grateful for social media because that's the only way i am able to keep tabs on what is happening. Friends have shared articles and videos and it's a great way to see what the candidates are offering this time around.

I remembered catching the first rally from the balcony of my place during the previous election and i was already overwhelmed by the support WP had been getting. Perhaps they were not popular enough or those numbers were not converted into votes on polling day and they lost the fight. This time round, the numbers are even more massive in the rallies and it would be good if I could be able to witness it first hand. Sadly, I was either in school, a friend's birthday or was shuttling to and fro TTSH.

In case you still do not know, I'm in Aljunied GRC and I have been holding back my comments until both parties have finished saying what they want to say. I had lived in Hougang till i was ten and you could say that I was brought up a WP person. My cousins and I had been staying in Hougang and events that WP has organised for the residents there formed a large chunk of my childhood. So I would say that I know what living in an opposition ward was liked. At the same time, there is no denial what progress the government had helped us Singaporeans become what we are today and yes I would say that they have been competent. The majority of them, at least. IF this is simply an election to elect who I want in charge of my ward, to represent my voice in Parliment, perhaps it would be so much easier. Instead, it seems that with the GRC system in place and figures telling us to vote wisely because it concerns our children our country, it seems that there is so much more at stake.

Right now, the block opposite me is under Marine Parade, along with the shopping centre, my train station and my interchange. At the same time, I'm under the same GRC as those living in Bedok Reservoir. It is quite amazing how the needs that I would have in my area would be similar to that of those living in Bedok. All along I did know about the existence of this lady in white named Cynthia Phua on several events, however, it was a little surprising that the Minister of Foreign Affairs, George Yeo, is actually representing my constituency. You see, if you stay on the fringes on wards that are so big, you tend to wake up being in another GRC overnight. My ward was under Marine Parade and Aljunied two elections and the last election respectively.

The existence of the GRC system was implemented so as to protect the interest of candidates who may be from the minorities groups. There is no denial that we are humans, we have feelings and we all have personal preference to a certain extent. And as much as we can deny it, I believe that to be fair to everybody who may want to be an MP, this is a good idea to have.

However, it seems that the system has been abused.

Not only is it confusing for residents like me to know which ward I'll be in during the next election, it is not hard to believe that the wards are drawn up to the advantage of the PAP. In my opinion, this definitely would have resulted in the number of walkovers from the past few elections. It was hard to find quality opposition and it sure worked in favour for the PAP.

Wards are drawn up so big that they consist of 4 to 5 representatives and it's surprising how certain figures can become a MP overnight. I believe this isn't an issue that's new to us. Certain leading figures are assigned to wards holding an umbrella so big that they shield new members or those who may not (or have yet to prove) be as capable. This existence of this pathway for such representatives to get into parliament so easily irks me because, I grew up with the believe of meritocracy from textbooks and if that's the case then how is it possible that people who are unknown the night before can be propelled to such a difficult task of governing a constituency just by joining a party.

To avoid such cases, surely 2 or 3 people in a ward is good enough to justify and protect the interest of the minorities no?

And so, with the growing discontent in the population, there is more people who are willing to voice out, and so we find ourselves with all wards being contested (Tanjong Pagar was judged to hand in their nomination papers late by 35sec). And it seems that no matter where you field your opposition, there is always going to be a minister in a GRC. So if you're WP and you're based in this area for such a long time, you're facing at GRCs from AMK, Marine Parade and Aljunied. And we all know who are the representatives of those wards.

I do not like the way the PMSMMM has all come out to tell how people should go about voting. You can say that it's a reminder to let us know about the importance of voting, but i believe everybody is entitled to their own opinions.

Personally, I believe in getting the right people into the government. Of course, it is hard to define who is right and who isn't. Choosing between two individuals is so much easier a job, as compared to choosing between two teams. I'm glad WP has put up a strong team because it means I get to decide and my vote actually counts. As opposed to the existence of an opposition team for the sake of opposing the government(the only difference between a walkover and that is that you either choose to abstain or...)

There are a few ministers that I actually look up to and I do think they are competent and George Yeo is one of them. I do think that it would be a loss to us if he loses his ministerial job because of the polls this time around, but there is no saying that even if he retains his job as a MP, he will still be the FM, because they can always reshuffle the cabinet. I'm saying that nothing is certain. Fans can vote Heinze to be their favourite player but it doesn't mean that Ferguson would want him to be there the very next season. Similiarly, bringing in somebody without a track record doesn't mean that the team harmony will be lost, or that he could not be a sensation the very next season. Who knows. He may just get you 20 goals a season as long as you keep an open mind and be receptive to changes and listen.

These days I find myself so comfortable..so complacent in life. It's always good to have someone there to remind you of what is at stake..what is there to fight for.

Anyway it's about time to cast my vote. I've made up my mind. Have you?

Bale

thought that this is a pretty funny picture.

mourniho's wrestling bale away from spurs?

even the colour of the kit is the same..

all that has to change is just the logo on the top. HAHAHA

update

1. faulty sim card after waking up this morning. uncontactable through phone til further notice.

2. granddad's admitted to hospital. just underwent some op for his liver.

3. 3 more weeks to exam. 4 more weeks to europe.

4. hall events. (separate post)

Julia Sheer

more and more people are doing covers in their rooms/studios and just putting up on youtube and all. anybody can be a star these days huh *ahem* rebecca black *ahem*

recently knew that one girl in my hall actually has been recording covers as well.

had been looking at her songs on her youtube page. and she has nice vocals i must admit.

anyway, spent the whole afternoon, and night listening to this other girl today.

i think this cover of sparks fly is really nice. got drawn to her by this video and pretty soon i was checking out all her videos.

i wouldn't say that all of her songs/videos are nice though. she usually pairs up with another person.

but there are really some outstanding ones that i do like. this particular video below stood out for me.

taylor swift songs. listening to love story and songs from the previous albums make me realised that it has been so long, from first sem in hall til now. 1348.5 would know.

the chemistry between them. is magical.

eyes don't lie, do they.

a pity. they are no longer together.

maybe she knows when sparks fly was recorded. that the end was near.

i'm actually overcome with a tinge of sadness listening to that rendition.

what a difference it is from the mood of love story, and the same title by miranda cosworth.

this sem.

it probably took me a very long time.

but this sem, as i start to know more people in my course of study,

i began to realise the difference in effort that most people in my course are putting in and how much i'm putting in.

how much time i spend in front of the tv,

chats, surfing, blogging, on the computer,

games, sports on occasional nights,

mid night suppers every other night.

but somehow i don't regret everything i did.

because that was what i had set out to do.

of course along the way, not everything stays the same they were,

aims and objectives changes.

i like this sem.

i'm adapting to staying in hall like a proper resident washing my clothes (finally, oh i should get my own washing powder), staying in almost 5 nights a week,

albeit leading a phantom life and fading away like the hall's canteen vendors.

oh and as much as i would like to have friends in a double room to talk to and all,

i realised that a single room really appeals to me at this point in time.

there's this personal space and bubble that i value a lot and i get really irritated when it's breached.

of course it's always nice to see a familiar face in the room instead of a cold empty room, but for this sem, i realised that i would have frown upon anybody, everybody save except for one or two people as roomies. then again such encounters bring people closer and make you discover things that you would never have known about the other party.

i've no regrets about having my current roomie, he's great (most of the time :P) just that, there are many times when i would love to come back to the room and just blast the music and be in my own bubble. (yes, it's me. lol)

i like this sem. i really do.

i feel like i'm on a road to self discovery.

some footballers words and actions sure make models look intelligent..

Body Parts - Plain White T's

My heart was talking to my head

Said, "I've loved once; I'll never love again"

And my head, at this, replied

"I'll miss her too; she was easy on the eyes"

And now all they do is look around for you

And every night, with their lids closed tight

They are lost in dreams that they'll awake and see

You lying next to me

what is man what are machines

when nature still reign supreme.

it's morphing into a very big disaster.

and you thought the tsunami would be the end of it.

once again, accidents really happen anyhow anytime anywhere to anyone.

over dinner, we were talking about how this episode has really shown us how much calm and their society is really different. everybody just picks up the pieces and do what they need to do. fingers picked up debris instead of being pointed at others.

unlike certain countries where there IS a need to find fault with somebody/ something.

and that's a norm.

be safe.

may the ordeal be over as quickly as possible.

closer

love is an accident waiting to happen,

desire is a stranger you think you know,

intimacy is a lie we tell ourselves,

truth is a game we play to win,

those who believe in love at first sight never stop looking.

blogger these days have made way to

1. a bird that can't stop chirping

2. the best damm app on the phone.

Textbook Statistics - Arkaye Kierulf

On average, 5 people are born every second and 1.78 die.
So we’re ahead by 3.22, which is good, I think.

The average person will spend two weeks in his life
waiting for the traffic light to change.

Pubescent girls wait two to four years
for the tender lumps under their nipples to grow.

So the average adult has over 1,460 dreams a year,
laughs 15 times a day. Children, 385 more times.

So the average male adult mates 2,580 times with five different people
but falls in love only twice in his life—possibly

with the same person. Seventy-nine long years for each of us,
awakened to love in our twenties, so more or less

thirty years to love our two lovers each. And if, in a lifetime,
one walks a total of 13,640 miles by increments,

Where are you headed, traveler?
is a valid philosophical question to pose to a man, I think, along with

Why does the blood in your veins travel endlessly?
on account of those red cells flowing night and day

through the traffic of the blood vessels, which if laid out
in a straight line would be over 90,000 miles long.

The great Nile River in Egypt is 4,180 miles long.
The great circle of the earth’s equator is 24,903 miles.

Dividing this green earth among all of us
gives a hundred square feet of living space to each,

but our brains take only one square foot of it,
along with the 29 bones of the skull, so

if you look outside your window with your mind only,
why do you hear the housefly hum middle octave, key of F?

If you listen to the cat on the rug by the fire with
the 32 muscles in your ear, you will hear

100 different vocal sounds. Listen to the dog
wishing for your love: 10 different sounds.

If you think loneliness is beyond calculation,
think of the mole digging a tunnel underground

ninety-eight miles long to China
in one single night. If you think beauty escapes you

or your entire genealogical tree, consider the slug
with its four uneven noses, or the chameleon shifting colors

under an arbitrary light. Think of the deepest point
in the deepest ocean, the Marianas Trench in the Pacific,

do you think anyone’s sadness can be deeper? In 1681,
the last dodo bird died. In the 16th century,

Queen Elizabeth suffered from a fear of roses.
Anne Boleyn had six fingers. People fall in love

twice. The human heart beats 3 billion times — only — in a lifetime.
If you attempt to count all the stars in the galaxy, one

every second, it’ll take 3 thousand years, if you’re lucky.
As owls are the only birds that can see the color blue

the ocean is bluish, along with the sky and the eyes
of that boy who died alone by that little unnamed river

in your dreams one blue night of the war
of one of your lives. (Do you remember which one?)

Duration of World War 1: four years, 3 months, 14 days.
Duration of an equatorial sunset: 128 seconds, 142 tops.

A neuron’s impulse takes 1/1000 of a second,
a morning’s commute from Prospect Expressway

to the Brooklyn Bridge, about 90 minutes,
forty-five without traffic.

Time it takes for a flower to wilt after it’s cut from the stem: five days.
Time left our sun before it runs out of light: five billion years.

Hence the number of happy citizens under the red glow
of that sun: maybe 50% of us, 50% on good days, tops.

Number who are sad: maybe 70% on the good days—
especially on the good days. (The first emotion’s more intense, I think,

when caught up with the second.) So children grow faster in the summer,
their bright blue bodies expanding. The ocean, after all, is blue

which is why the sky now outside your window is bluish
expanding with the white of something beautiful, like clouds.

Fact: The world is a beautiful place—once in a while.
Another fact: We fall in love twice. Maybe more, if we’re lucky.

you know it's the start of school

when you start having power nasi lemak for supper. when hall starts to get noisier with people coming back in once again. when you drag yourself out of bed every morning. when you start complaining about school. about add/drop. about every single other thing. when you start printing your notes. when everybody is back online on your msn list.

first entry of the year. i know there's an entry that's still not shown dated last dec.

ha. apparently being punctual is not on my new year resolution list.

i'll tell you what is.

being honest.

have a smaller ego, be a little more accepting.

and study a little more. :)

i want to know that i'll still on track to 2nd upper end of the year.

have a blast people. 2011 is here. and it'll be oh so strawberry damm good.

trust me.