August 24, 2014
The fact that you treat me like I'm an acquaintance is slapping me right in the face. Time and time I asked you to accompany me to do my assignments. Time and time again you disregard my requests. That pissed me off, to be honest.
0 is the weight I hold in your heart. Even your colleagues weigh more than me. How can you just chuck me aside so easily? Damn, I feel so worthless. So making me feel so worthless! I give my all when it comes to you! Simply because you feel that there is no way we can be together, you just deny all chances that I may have.
Can't you just give me that one chance? It's not fair! You also want a chance with whoever you want to go after. And they gave it to you. So can't you just give that bloody one chance to me? Damn!
Prince aShin sang to me @ 22:06
March 02, 2014
金牛座總是這樣：心累了，就用沉默代替一切。不會問，不會提，難過了，心痛了就一個人不停的走，用沉默代替一切。不會哭，不會笑，累了就會消失一下。——金牛知道，每條路都好難走。金牛知道，選的那條路就註定了要坎坷。金牛知道，不可以去強求任何人。 金牛是個不緊不慢的星座，要全心全意的愛他們，首先就要有讓人佩服的耐心，因為金牛做任何事情都慢條斯理，他們在慎重的確立目標以後，還要考慮了再考慮，每個方面，每個細節他們都要想到，如果你是急性子，最好不要愛上牛兒，兩人都會很累，情投意合，也要志趣相投，金牛的倔強，需要對方細心的愛。因為我是金牛座。
Whenever I am not responding, or am keeping too quiet, I'm really hurt by you. You may think, "I did not do anything!" Precisely, it's the fact you did do anything that was hurtful.
Being around you can be blissful, yet bitter at the same time. I really tried to stop contacting, but just one message you can so easily thwart my efforts. I am so tired. Yet there is nothing I can do.
The most precious gift from anyone is his/her time, because there is no way it can be taken back. And I have given you so much of my time. Yet when I ask for a little time from you, you seem so reluctant, so unwilling. Is my liking for you really that loathing? 你让我觉得我对你的喜欢是一文不值的，是那么容易忘记，那么容易置之不理。很想和你狠狠地吵一架，让你明白我是多么地对你和自己生气。
还有，我真的很讨厌她。真的真的。因为她让你迷失了自己，让你变得畏缩，让你变得不是你。
Prince aShin sang to me @ 23:52
December 05, 2013
These few days have been so mentally exhausting...
First came the news that my sister has to go for surgery to remove her lumps, and it does not ensure that she will be cancer-free..
Then came the thoughts of really giving you up. Thinking back, this one year has been really different for me. Ups and downs with you, internal struggles with you, so many things regarding you. time and time I told myself I can make this dream of mine come true. It has been so long since I liked someone to that intensity.
You may see my liking to you as a burden, as something that can be easily overlooked. But do you know that it has been almost my everything? I wake up, I think of you. I go to school, the message tone of Line perks me. Throughout the day, I look forward to your messages. We tell each other how our days went. We complain to each other, we argue with each other, we crap with each other, sometimes we even have this little tinge of flirting going on. And all these somewhat trivial conversations are what I look forward to reading every single day.
Until now, I still think I am worthy of you. Or rather, I am able to bring the best out in you. I will be able to help you to fulfil what you want to do, to push you to be what you are. You are after all a little lazy, and tend to give up. But apparently, what you look for in a relationship is not all these. I think you want excitement, you want new things, new feelings, something unpredictable. I, on the other hand, make things safe for you. Which i feel that is the reason why you are not able to let her go, despite you being treated like dunno what at times. And also why you tell me time and time we can never be together.
I am tired. I really am. I'm even surprised that I can keep at this for over a year. This only tells me how much I want you, how much I feel about you. In fact, I am still asking myself if I should really let you go. Because letting you go will mean zero contact with you. no more line, no more calls, no more meet-ups. nothing. It means my world crushing down on me. we cannot even stay as friends, or any other relationships. because i cannot handle anything that is related to you. it will only make my heart linger, and not let go.
So, I either continue to like you, stay around you, in the hope that one day you will change your mind (which i think is really difficult), or I stop this with you (which will be as difficult as well). That is why I am still thinking. Thinking really hard......
Prince aShin sang to me @ 23:28
December 02, 2013
you probably did not sense it…
started off the day with really a bad mood. mum woke me with her nagging, and after telling you, i did not feel any better. not sure if it's your nonchalance, or i am again expecting too much.
then you disappear for a while, i fell asleep throughout the day.
when you came telling me you failed your paper, i did my best in channelling positive energy to you, despite me feeling so so so lousy the whole day. But you ended up telling me to not nag at you, because you are not in a very good mood.
so i was in a good mood? no, i wasn't. i did not nag at you. i just wanted to let you know that time is ticking, you need to start studying for your 3 papers that are happening in a week.
but all i got was your negativity, your nonchalance, and my emptiness within me.
sometimes, liking you is so easy, but sometimes, it's so hard. i feel so tired at times, all i need is perhaps some care and concern from you, be it as a friend or something more.
not in the mood. really not in the mood.
Prince aShin sang to me @ 00:38
November 09, 2013
Dearest you,
whenever I want to pen down something to tell you, my mind will always be a blank. Yet when I think, there are so many things that I feel I want to let you know. Clear things up, thrash things out. Because you matter just so much to me all these while, I really dunno how to word these frustrations, emotions, everything out nicely. So here goes.
I am not someone who is good with expressing my feelings, and sometimes I let my emotions get the better of me, that's why I will end up arguing with you. My temper is always short when it comes to people I care a lot. Especially you. Maybe because I am always so eager to bring you out of all the shit you are in, that's why I will always say it frankly. I know you don't like it. But you have to understand this: Whatever I say or do, is always for the better of you. I want the best for you. I really do. That's why I help you in your assignments because I want you to show your true work without the grammar/vocabulary bringing you down. I tell you to break up with her because I see the agony in you, I see just unhappy you are, I see just how unfair you are being treated in this relationship. I want you to be happy. Your buddies want you to be happy. Those who genuinely care for you want you to be happy. I am not biased against her. I just want the best for you. The fact that I like you did not ever once made me want to break you up so that "I stand a chance". I just want you to be happy.
You told me you have never smiled from the bottom of your heart since a long time ago. I can sense it. Because I know you since 8 years back. I liked you since then partly because of how you smile when you are truly happy. For the last few times I met you, that smile was nowhere to be found. it pained me. I want to bring that smile back. I hope I can be the one bringing that smile back. But time and time you shut me out the door. I am fine with that, but now YOU are the one who is preventing yourself from getting that smile back. I am pissed with you because you are stopping yourself from being happy. Why your buddies are unhappy with you, or why I am unhappy, is not because of her anymore, it's now you. You have to understand why your buddies or I are being so short-fused. Because now the problems lies in you. You contradicted yourself. You literally slapped us when we were the ones watching over you, always making sure you are sane, you are fine. And the worse thing is, you always run away from those who care about you!
Stop running away from those who care about you. And stop disappointing those who are still around you. This relationship is making you wreck almost everyone who is close to you, who still sees you are a friend. Don't give the whole world up for a mere person. She will be a passer-by sooner or later. Your buddies, friends and hopefully I, are here to stay with you for life, should you decide to put them back to your priority list. And I must say this again. I am thinking the best for you, in the long run. If this relationship has all along been good and your buddies were the ones making you choose, I will tell you to choose the relationship, but that is because if your buddies were behaving that way, they were not worth keeping. Please stop seeing my opinions as biased or what, because it's kind of an insult.
Last but not least, whatever final decision you make, I will support you. Even if it turns out to be not the best one for you. But I will stop thinking the best for you. I will not be able to provide you with any advice anymore. Because you choose to forgo my good intentions, I will not offer any again.
Also, it took me A HELL LOT of courage to tell you I like you. So stop telling me to stop liking you. I've liked you for so long, I do not know how to stop. What I can tell you is, should the day comes when I know you are no longer in my priority list, I will tell you, in the face. So stop telling me to stop liking you! You either run away and never talk to me again, or you let me stay within your reach...
Prince aShin sang to me @ 00:10
May 06, 2011
this has become my (not-so-)secret haven to rant about stuff, since no one visits here anymore...
about the recent GE....
i was being skeptical about PAP at first, thinking that they need to be better, and need to have members from other parties to balance the current political situation....
but as i hear more and more about other parties, i am getting rather disgusted...
not that i keep track with all the parties' rallies, but as my friends keep having very very emotional uproars about wanting to support WP or NSP or whatever P in this matter, i cannot help but to lean towards PAP.
yes we should vote wisely. yes, the people need to be heard. so does that mean that in the whole of sg history, no one has been heard? they are but 87 seats serving 5 million citizens. even if we take away those not eligible for voting, it's still 2.3 million. so if opposition parties take up part of the seats in the parliament, all 2.3 million of us will be heard?
yes WP has a great manifesto, but too idealistic. All those manifesto are not just talk. take one example: class size should be reduced to 20 a class so the teachers can pay more attention to each and every student. with simple math and considering it's primary school level, it means we have to: 1) get 100% more teachers; 2) get 100% more schools. why? cos current class size is 40, with most schools in 2 sessions. so 1) where do we find these teachers? teaching is not like any job. it's to educate the next generations. and with the falling quality of teachers nowadays and increasing challenge of students, how are we to find these teachers? just recruit them off the street? 2) and for schools, where do we find the extra classrooms for every class? MOE's implementation: We are having Allied Educators in our class to aid in teaching, they are easing some load off teachers who may have students with special needs. Isn't that something that PAP is trying to help? So this class size reduction is really....unbelievably ridiculous.
worse off, i heard some opposition party saying that if they get elected, they will "change the constitution agreement to include Dr Teo Chee Hean to continue to be a member of the parliament". Hello?! i did not know that you can just happily "change" a national agreement at your will! bull talk! rubbish! so if you want, you can change anything at your will to fit what the people want?????? then can you write that all singaporeans should have a roof over their head (ie a condo), transport taken care of (ie a car), and stuff? DUH!
seriously, after hearing all these rubbish and also the TPL vs NS thing, PAP is definitely my choice. at least they dun talk bull. they are being realistic, and practical. that's why Singapore can flourish within 50 years, u emotional Y-Gen!!!
Prince aShin sang to me @ 01:01
February 12, 2011
Just watched The Rite with my sister just now.
Both my sister and I are non-believers of religion, and watching this kind of movies always make me think alot. This time, it seemed that I am really sure that all religions are just different languages of believing in the non-scientific aspects of this world.
There is just so much in this world waiting for Science to prove. And the humans have so limited knowledge, technology and others to make this proving process faster. Till then, people will always speak about religion. Because this is the only way that these "unexplainable things" can be explained.
In the show, there were instances when those who were "possessed" by Baal were able to state what happened, and what was about to happen. "Knowing the unknowable". Is it really Baal? or that the human brain has this ability all along, it's just lying dormant, waiting to awake? The Devil. Is it really existing, or just an "unexplainable" in religion to disguise the human ugliness? With good, there will always be bad. Because they are so related, no good can be good without the bad, and vice versa. Without the Devil, the God can never be godly. Without God, how can the Devil survive?
During an exorcism, the name of the "Devil" needs to be known before he can be successfully purged out of whoever he was possessing. Why? Is this to acknowledge that evil does exist so that the good can prevail? This is one part i dun understand.
Anyway, i am a believer of Science. Has been, Will be. Maybe one day i may accept this lost faith. But till then, Love Science.
Prince aShin sang to me @ 02:07
November 18, 2010
ok, now i am down to:
- 22 nov: Ed Psy 1 Presentation
- 23 nov: Ed Psy 2 Presentation
- 24 nov: ICT Presentation
- 26 nov: CME teaching resources
- 29 nov: Ed Psy 1 individual assignment
- 07 dec: 词汇学与修辞学考试
- 10 dec: 现代汉语语法考试
jia you ahhhh!
Prince aShin sang to me @ 01:13
October 29, 2010
been so busy with my school work!~
assignments and projects all coming to due, so been rushing stuff here and there!
after next monday, 2 big rocks will be gone, then after that will be group assignments and presentations...
to baomu (of the baos), ploe (of ploes), master (of pet guinea pig), 加油！很快就过了！
Prince aShin sang to me @ 13:39
October 03, 2010
hmm..something to rant about:
i thought lending money to you will be a small matter, but turns out to be that it is not.
you said you will return a few days. fine. then nothing heard from you.
until i asked you again, you said you will return. but again, no news after that.
i had to ask you again and again, before you finally said that you are tight and you can only return the money after your payday.
then comes the sms saying that you do not have the money to pay me back because you have been on no pay leave.
THEN you quit ur job. it means i will never get my money back. well done.
Maybe i should tell your mum about you going to DRINK, and not having the money to pay, and ASKED FOR MY HELP. darn.
I cannot see you as my cousin anymore. after all these.
Prince aShin sang to me @ 20:13
