Monday, November 07, 2005

i think i'll be abandoning this blog.
its time to put the past behind and move on.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

home ;
this is the place i resent the most.
depression.
its in the veins.
hah,
whos to blame?

now i know,
i've got it figured out.
i finally know what i was looking for.

you tore it open.
but i closed it shut myself.

i don't think i love you anymore.
i don't think i can even love again.
but i do know i miss you.
they're just 2 seperate emotions.

Monday, October 31, 2005

and im loosing grip,
this facade's coming to an end.

Sunday, October 30, 2005

it was a not so boring day in town.

pq and nat shopped in TOPMAN today.
hrmm.
like, okay.

ate so much ice cream.
i can feel myself growing sideways.
rahh,
hates it.
why?! why?! why?!
especially when im horizontally challenged.

saw someone twice in town today.
i don't know why,
but pangs of jealousy started hitting me.
i know its all over.
history i'd say.
but, RAHH.
i don't know.

maybe its time to really move on.
i wonder if you have.
maybe you've got someone else.
hah,
even so.
i'm in no position to comment.
all i can say is,
i miss you so.
yea, what can i do bout it.

so many random memories kept flooding my head.
had a family lunch today.
they were being annoyances as usual.
dad's promised an ipod.
but i think i'll rather have the money for shopping since hes gon get my sis one too.
i'll just steal it from her.
heh,
im a bitch.
but shes a bigger one.
no doubts bout that.

so many so so many sleepless nights.
gon go to school to collect my report book tmr.
i wanna know my class position.
ohh well,
till then.

boring day in town.
RAHH.
holidays are here.
so bored, so so bored.

dad's been a bitch.
mom's away.
just cause i haven't been home for 2, 3 days hes threatening me.
bitch bitch bitch.
hate you.

AHHH.
kill me.

my life's a mess.

Friday, October 28, 2005

till now,
im still living in the past,
can't seem to step out of its shadow.

im still trying to get used to the changes.
im still getting jealous over simple things.
im still fighting to keep my head above water.

nobody can replace you.
sometimes,
even looking at you is just too painful.
i think im breaking down.
i can't pretend i've moved on anymore.

my mind just can't stop thinking.
maybe thats why im still stuck in the past.
what a way to end this year.

the holidays are coming,
maybe by then you'll be over this.
by then,
i'll be just a memory.
hah.

i just miss you so damn much.
you never left my mind.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

jealousy ;

why is it running through my veins at full speed?
so much for getting over it.
shut up jer.

saw GM in town today.
heh.
i swear i could feel the tremors.
had my entertainment as usual.
clones.
jumping and jumping.

meanwhile, i'll make a mental note not to that skirt again.
rahh.
bad experience today.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

everythings thats happened has just taught me what independence is.
i think i've found indepedence again.
im proud of myself.

i finally understand what you mean -
do it for yourself.

everything this year has just made me stronger.
i don't need to rely on anyone to make me happy.
all thats happened has taught me alot of things.

i think i'll make it through this time.

she reminds me so so much of you.
and i just wonder how you are.
so much for my happy ending.