Sunday, February 15, 2009
Valentine day is over and congrats to the newly legal couple, my brother, Mr and Mrs Alan Liaw! Tying the knot is the greatest thing that can happen to anyone and a good news to announce is that Peihua will be having her customary wedding ceremony during this year end.
There are events that happened during the past few weeks, and i have been wondering alot, sometime i couldn't even sleep because of the thought that is running through my head. Shall i change or shall just be who i am, is it so hard to love someone? Sometime i wonder why do i even emo over such things.
Life is just the way it is, shits are thrown at you for you to handle,
It will make or break you, what doesn't kills only make you stronger,
Love is the biggest shit that is thrown in your way, it help mould you,
Countless of heartbreaks and rejections are worth it till you say, "I Do"
I will resume my search for the one that i want to spend my rest of my life with, i dreamt about my perfect wedding countless of time already, is it a sign that i am getting old? Today, mark a brand new beginning.
I'm longing for that one perfect relationship.
2:23:00 AM
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
29th of September,
You can trust your sixth sense. Life is exciting so routine job is not your interest. You have great ideas and fantastic imagination. You often feel tired of things and people around you. Your Love, You can tell what's in the mind of another person just from looking into his/her eyes. You are paranoid and jealous and these are the cause of fights between you and your lover. Sometimes the thing you believe in is just your imagination.
Strength: Witty and highly adjustable in hard times.
Weakness: Impatient, impetuous and quarrelsome.
So damn true!
9:47:00 PM
Thursday, January 08, 2009
After today, i know and i am very sure that i won't bother the Tree already. I believe now things happen the way it should, i am embracing the bad in order to be good. Yes, i still love you, i still miss you however it shall remain as it is.
I seek divine help when i am at my wits ends, its been months and the Chinese New Year is fast appoarching, i want a good 2009. The gods has spoken and i now know what to do, wait paitently for the right oppurtunity however that ending is not with you.
I sincerely wishes you all the best and thank you for the wonderful memories :)
I love you, you've been pinned!
10:44:00 AM
Wednesday, January 07, 2009
Fickle,
Greedy,
Tempted,
ME!
In the past, i didn't cherish what i have and wanted more and being fickle about things. Now, when i truely understand and regretted my actions, my only wish is to undo what was wrong and cherish the Tree as much as possible, The Tree kept asking me to be my old self, to move on, i really don't wish to hurt anymore people by getting into loveless relationship. When i was my old self i only know how to hurt the people around me, now in the new year i wish to change, i just want to be devoted.
In the past, i did hurt people and i have accepted that this is my retribution. What goes around, comes around. Karma! I accepted this as my suffering and as my punishment.
The past's ripples has an effect on the present.
12:02:00 AM
Saturday, January 03, 2009
It's a brand new year, 2009 i hope will be a good year for me. In 2008, i experienced things i vowed i never want to experience again, it was greed and temptation that brought about the state i am in.
I don't eat much, i feel sickly often, i am moodless, i thought of sucide once in awhile BUT BUT i won't do it even the thought did cross my mind afew times. Its my love for my parents that prevent me from even carrying that sucide thought.
I never knew how to cherish people, i always wanted more, i am greedy! In the past there were others, but i turn a blind eye to it. In 2008, i lost everything, i lost Lil One, i lost the Tree, I lost Baby. Lil One is with a very good brother of mine, the Tree is happily in another relationship, Baby is happily in love too. Simply, in 2008 i lost everything!
It was the Tree that i shared the most memorable and hurtful time of my life, i single-handly destroy my own relationship with the Tree. I've lost count the number of times i shed/cried buckets at the thought of the Tree. I am simply waiting out the whole year just for you. There are so many things i want to tell you, there are so many more memories i wish to share with you. When i am sick or tired, i always wish you were by my side. I wish to continue to tell you how much i love you, but in return i have become a pest to you, someone you hate to even see/hear/speak. I carry a piece of you everyday to work, the porter bag! Everything reminds me of you, the places we went, food we eat, things we do. I just have the thought of you. Even simple things like, cheese, mineral water or even a plate of chicken rice reminds me of you. I miss you alot! I can only blog it out, there noone i can speak too, my mum don't wish to have any say, my brothers will never understand.
I really do not know what else to do anymore, putting a false front everytime at work, in front of friends. I am really sick of it. The are people who did have feelings for me, GirlGirl & Sotong however i did try to return the feelings but i can't. I did try to go mixed around, flirt and be my old self but i lost the will to continue even though i met a few new girls. The thought of the Tree is always there, i know how i feel for the Tree. I simply wish, there is someone who could simply take it away, its hurtful and painful. I simply lost the will to love.
Relationship is very important to me, its like a part of me once its gone i feel lost, depress and sad. I appreciate my friends' concern however the only cure for this sickness is the Tree. I can only wait for the cure.
I vowed not wait with anyone this year unless she is my girlfriend.
4:11:00 AM
