cNutgroist

Quick break in the vow...

I check my spam regularly because it's never 100% accurate. And because I need a bigger penis.

And I just found this...

---- Forwarded Message ----
From: "nutgroist@yahoo.com"
To: nutgroist@yahoo.com
Sent: Tuesday, 28 August, 2007 8:32:30 AM
Subject: nutgroist@yahoo.com - Store

If you're having trouble viewing this email with images, click here.

So i'm now apparently spamming myself. I've a good mind to report myself, or maybe sign the fucker that did this up for spam. Seriously though, how on earth is this possible? And why would they do it?

That is a good price for Viagra though. Email me if you're interested

# posted by John Everyman : 11:23

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Well, I died

And still they want to deport me

So I'm going on a silent retreat for much of next month

And working on a book

And a best man's speech

And applying for a new job

And moving country again

So for now, i'm going to practice the silence thing in advance, if not quite yet in retreat

Back soon....







...ish
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Taking a break to go drown in a river this week, aka whitewater rafting, aka brownwater rafting by the time i'm finished.

But hey, if i do drown, at least i get to stay in Canada...
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Two things I never thought i'd do....

1. Go to an open mic night with a guitar and get up to sing a couple of songs

2. Join Facebook


As it turns out, I was so nervous that my first song sounded like Nick Drake whispering from inside a lead-lined pillow, and not very good at that. So for the encore I BLASTED out a song and let everything rip. And it was... how can i put it?
Good.
It was something I've always wanted to do, get on stage in a dive-bar and bang out a few tunes to a bunch of half-interested boozers - all the better for being in Montreal in front of a bunch of comedians who were all expecting me to do 'my stuff'.

As for ComeOnMyFacebook.... I'm sorry, I have no idea why I joined. Those bloggers who know me, or want to, and have a facebook account, get in touch via email and we'll play a little show and tell.
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So there are 6 miners trapped in a mineshaft in deepest Utah, still another 3 days away from rescue, and nobody knows if they're alive or dead.

Honestly, have you people not seen Hollywood films? Of COURSE they're alive.

But I do wonder if famous psychic Sylvia Browne would care to comment this time?


Ah!

Oh!

No!

Yes!

taken from http://www.stopsylviabrowne.com/articles/c2c_sago.shtml
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Oh that mountain in Greece
When we heard those wild geese
And the song of the lonely goat herder

The sky turned deep blue
And I whispered to you
"What a wonderful night for a murder"

We crept through the farm
Without raising alarm
From the vigilant crippled cheese-curder

Til we came to a barn
With a roof almost gone
And I stood you as quiet as a birder

But before I could make
Up a minor eathquake
You began quoting Wolfgang Von Goethe

Some Sturm and Drang shit
And the earthiest bit
From Mahler's Das Lied Von Erde

You said "It's high time
That you paid for your crime
Before it can go any further"

So you hit me for six
With a series of kicks
And that was the point when I heard a

Falling steel girder*



*this poem has been cancelled due to an overambitious rhyme-scheme and failure to cohere. Here, have a bit of The G-Stav instead.
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