TA school posting's out.. i think everyone got the school they wanted or like the school they're posted to.. yay =) looking forward to TA but it's kinda still quite a long time from now.. lol..

btw, i <3 Grey's Anatomy =) and House =)) and i saw the 2nd latest season of Grey's Anatomy on the shelf which i havent watched and rented it!! Season 5! omgee!! stayed up still 4plus last night juz to watch!! lol.. like what karen said.. so BUSY.. watching shows.. lol.. i <3.

Nut was Cased at ; 10:24:00 PM

if YOU are reading this,

seriously i know your life sucks as it is. you dun need to see a loved one on the hospital bed to feel bad.

but can you at least SPARE A THOUGHT for a friend who sees a loved one on the hospital bed?

STOP WALLOWING IN SELF-PITY.

THE WORLD DOES NOT REVOLVE AROUND YOU ONLY.

ive always tried to sympathise with your family. have you ever sympathised with mine?

FUCK.

you wun regret what you did last night.

neither will I.

you're out of my life. for good.

the only thing i regret is getting to know you in the first place.

continue rotting in your own world for all i care.

Nut was Cased at ; 11:08:00 AM

having re-read my last blog entry, and exchanging smses with Coach, i realised that the interview had to be the way it was.. and it was great actually, knowing that the precious kids in church are so well-protected and loved by God and the church =)

upon reflection, yes i was totally overwhelmed with all that was surfaced via the interview. realised that maybe ive been denying all that too much, trying to keep everything under wraps.. just cos i do not want to disappoint people around me. having to vocalise everything, and have everything down on paper, it sort of made everything "more real" than it already is.

was led to listen to a sermon from Pastor Elijah from generation church last night as i was lying in bed trying to sleep after a failed attempt to study math.. i found this sermon quite long ago, but just never had the mood or juz never thought of listening to it.. until last night.. cos the title wasnt very appealing.. like it didnt really struck the chords in my heart.. i think the title is something like "Found In Freedom"..

i was wow-ed.. luckily i was already lying down, if not i'd be blown off my feet lol. it was definitely God who intended for me to listen to that msg last night. needless to mention, i was so touched by God, i cried like a baby haha..

will put up notes from the sermon one fine day when ive the time lol.. for now, it's time to rest.. math exam in less than 12hrs.. that's the downside to having stayed up late the past nights to study huh.. when it's time to sleep early the day before the exam, u cant sleep.. cos it's "too early".. hmm..

nights world.

as for the paper tml, God's grace and favour is gonna be in abundance. whereever i fall short, Jesus' wisdom and knowledge will supernaturally come through the Holy Spirit in me and cause me to put down answers where in the natural, i will be unable to put down. amen =)

Nut was Cased at ; 1:29:00 AM

rock kidz interview was _____.

so many interviewers i knew.. but i had to get someone i din noe.. and she was kinda ____...

the questions were kinda personal.. and i feel like crap after the interview.. like everything's surfaced and weird.. crappy..

math exam on thursday.. eew.. studied till 4am last night.. slept till 12pm this afternn.. eew.. lol..

Nut was Cased at ; 10:11:00 PM

had my last tutorial of the sem 2 days ago (wed).. and ive been slacking since.. lol.. well it's only friday.. and thursday was a full day of piano.. so not too bad rite?

went to the airport late last night to find my nie music peeps.. was supposed to study with them.. but i wasnt in the mood.. lol.. so i went down with karen instead.. bought them some popeyes.. den i sat and chatted and ate with karen.. lol..

slept so much today i felt quite crappy.. during my waking hours, im either watching tv, watching House, reading Jodi Picoult or just surfing aimlessly on the internet..

just came back from coffee with mum and dad..

piano tml.. and arrow..

Nut was Cased at ; 11:59:00 PM

was quite exhausted from rockkidz today! but i had fun! was at rockkidz for 1st, 2nd, and part of 3rd.. before rushing down to rock for service with johannah and the nie cg..

quite surprised to see a few guys i met yesterday at rock kidz discover @ boys' brigade in the nie cg.. haha..

im still contemplating bout that matter.. and i cannot decide what action to follow.. someone enlighten me.. God, enlighten me.

Nut was Cased at ; 10:53:00 PM

ok im gonna be very real.. about my previous blog comment which was posted when i reached home after cg last night..

honestly, it's regarding signup for camp.. one person told me ive about 80%, another told me ive 91%.. both assured me of a place at camp.. (requirement was 75%)

and yet, i do not receive the camp sign-up email..

worse thing, the response was not satisfying for me.. instead of saying "maybe i'll check things out", or even "oh, u were told the wrong percentage", i was simply told to signup for waiting list..

honestly, the stubborn part of me refuses to..

i wld love to go for camp.. but i cant ignore the defiant part of me..

i cant deny the fact that im very much affected.

and i was very, very angry with God last night. (you wouldnt wanna know how i spent the night)

i told Him, why did You make me so emotionally involved in church in the first place if You allow this kind of stupid things to happen? if i wasnt so emotionally involved, i wouldnt even bother, knowing that im not a person who likes to travel.

crap.

and due to the 'technical screwup', our cg has already received the camp email one whole week later than the rest.. the others have also received their waiting list email last friday.. yet, i still dun see any sign of the waiting list email.. is this the kind of efficiency we are looking for?

waiting list is probably first-come-first-served and case-by-case if im not wrong.. putting me aside, what about others who really, really wanna go for camp cos this is their last chance to go with Arrow as they're graduating and moving up? with this kind of efficiency (or lack thereof) in the cg, how is it even possible for these affected pple (actly i only know of one person so far) to try out?

ok some of u reading this may think that im over-sensitive, or making a mountain out of a molehill or wadever.. but srsly, this is just me.. maybe im in the wrong, pls do not hesitate to voice out to me.. i'll definitely take constructive criticisms and learn from there..

in addition, there is something else, something very sensitive, which i feel i shouldnt share here.. cos it's something not very pleasant.. and i feel that it's affecting my walk with the cg (as a whole).. oh wells.. *shrug

on a happier note,

(even though i was kinda exhausted from my 'bad night', and i still had a few hours of piano in the morning from 815am),

i had an awesome time at Rock Kidz Discover this afternn (130-515pm) at the Boys' Brigade.. initially i thought i'll be so awkward, as i din noe anyone who's going.. but end up, i found myself feeling real at ease =) had the opportunity to talk with Pastor Lian =) and made many new friends.. awesome to see familiar faces like coach maddy, nancy, su-an etc..

all the activities were really beneficial with regards to dealing with the kids, and i getta know myself better too! my interview's gonna be on the 20th.. regardless the results, i know ive benefitted from all these, and im grateful =)

gonna be helping out Fearless to take individual pictures of the kids for 1st, 2nd and part of 3rd svc tml.. =)

Nut was Cased at ; 11:16:00 PM

im in the "God why have you forsaken me" mood.

Nut was Cased at ; 12:07:00 AM

ok it was one of the most tiring three days of my life.. but praise God i survived..

had a good full day of piano today.. and im refusing to start studying my math.. lol.. im left with 2 modules.. one of which is music and i'll be done with that tml.. then there's math test next tuesday, last math tutorial next wednesday.. and math exam next next thursday.. and im done!!

i shld really start on math soon though.. kinda tough.. and leaving till last min will make me super stressed again..

i think i gotta go to Boys' Brigade this saturday for some rockkidz thing with Pastor Lian.. but i cant remember if it's this saturday or next.. hmm.. shld be this saturday.. oh wellz.. wait for email huh.. and im gonna help out in some phototaking thing for the kids this sunday.. for 1st,2nd, and part of 3rd svc..

wow.. remind me why i signed up.. lol..

i like what my piano teacher told me today.. she said she tells this to all her servers in her team.. "when you start serving, i want you to EXPECT blessings from God.. until you are SO FULL of the blessings, you cant help but overflow..." i especially like the EXPECT blessings part.. =)

Nut was Cased at ; 9:27:00 PM

had awesome fun at rockkidz this morning.. more details later in the week.. for now, i needa mug before i get really screwed.

Nut was Cased at ; 7:17:00 PM

a quick entry before i go hit the books..

im serving rockkidz for 1st svc tml.. gotta reach suntec at 8am.. ermz.. dunno if it's a good time to start.. but when Su Ann called me, i readily agreed to help out.. im excited.. but nervous.. and at the same time, wanting to slap myself for agreeing to go..

major test on monday and wednesday which i hardly started studying for.. and a "one-day" lesson plan to do on tuesday which is 40-blardy-percent.. lol..

i know im kinda screwed.. this was a long weekend.. but it wasnt productive at all.. and mum is nagging at me up-down-left-right.. about spending so much time at church.. arrow, rockkidz, sunday svc..

but i dun wanna be screwed.. i wanna choose to believe that with God, ALL THINGS are possible =)

Nut was Cased at ; 11:30:00 PM

Daddy God, i'll stop chasing after grades and start chasing You.

Nut was Cased at ; 5:36:00 PM