holidays are here.. since my last paper on the 18th.. but i dun feel the holiday holiday yet.. hmm.. yes i do not have to go to school anymore.. well.. not counting last monday which i had to go back for a GESL meeting.. a stupid service learning module.. went to the boys' home to teach them last thursday.. going there this thursday again.. each boy has a different story to tell.. im glad that i could be a listening ear to some of them =)

i realised that ive been spending more and more time doing something.. to the expense of missing out on cg and church occasionally..

sometimes i wonder if im doing the right thing.. sometimes i feel like im trying too hard.. i wonder if im losing my focus.. as if im doing all these because im worrying that one day, i will lose treasures, and nothing can bring them back..

how i wish that i'd have the courage to speak freely.. i wish that i'd be able to say that everything will be alright.. i wish that everyone can be more optimistic and not focus/worry about negative things.. i wish that everyone will get to know You, so that even in the darkest hours, in the quietest, loneliest hours, everyone will have Someone to seek solace with.. Someone who will assure them that everything will be alright. there is nothing to worry about as everything has already been taken care of.

ok this is getting too emo for my liking.. and i dun think that im making any sense here.. zzz...

Nut was Cased at ; 11:33:00 PM

i did the stupidest thing today.. or more like i DIDNT do.. i wrote my IC no. on the OAS for my 1st paper this morning but DIDNT shade the circles!!! omgee!! and i only realised it when i was shading for my 2nd paper.. argh.. how blur can i get.. maybe it's the long-time-no-exams thing.. emailed my lecturer and she said she'll look into it.. =)

as im typing this, suddenly i had a thought.. i want to serve You in Your house. but what is holding me back? it seems like i know where i want to head, what i want to do.. but time and again i hold myself back.

why?

Nut was Cased at ; 11:42:00 PM

my exam week arrives.. and my revision is not done.. spent the bulk of my saturday and sunday at church..

but i know that i can step into this coming week with a skip in my step, i can be rest assured that whereever i fall short, Daddy God's grace will overflow in that area.. knowing that His grace is more than enough for me, i can step into this week with peace and calm in my heart, letting His wisdom flow through me..

thank You, Jesus.

Nut was Cased at ; 6:24:00 PM

Ms Justina Tan (smack in the middle).. my sec 1 maths teacher who is now my ed psych lecturer/tutor at NIE.. who amazingly remembers me.. and who have touched me in many ways =)

Nut was Cased at ; 11:20:00 PM

i finally went to church today after a long hiatus.. the devil couldnt keep me away today.. thank God..

today i was overwhelmed.. having praise & worship, listening to pastor's msg, chancing upon someone's multiply blog.. im overwhelmed..

overwhelmed by the overwhelming blessings i have in my life..

overwhelmed by how i took all these blessings for granted..

overwhelmed by how God has blessed my studies and my grades in NIE thus far and more to come..

overwhelmed by realising the fact that ive been moping around too much..

overwhelmed by how even though ive lost focus of the cross, God hasnt lost His focus on me..

overwhelmed by the awesome people God has placed around me..

overwhelmed by God-incidents..

ultimately, overwhelmed by God's ultimate love for me..

im sorry Daddy God, that my human flesh have failed You and ive lost focus of You time and again.. and yet, Daddy God, i thank You for never letting me go, for always allowing me, Your beloved child to run into Your embrace, Your arms which is always kept wide open for me.

Nut was Cased at ; 11:13:00 PM

it was a fairly nice weekend..

friday night mom, dad and i headed to changi airport T3 for dinner.. walked around then had coffee after..

saturday.. had pedicure with mum.. hanged out at marina/suntec/raffles city while dad went to the club for his routine workout.. mum and i shopped.. i bought a new adidas bagpack cos i decided that my billabong is too kiddy.. lol.. bought new printer ink refill in case my printer runs out of ink and ive got essays to print.. and bought 4 reeboks shorts.. yea.. hanged out at starbucks after.. attempting to do some work while waiting for dad.. had dinner at some teochew porridge store at dunno where..

headed home at around 9plus 10.. bathed, freshened up.. den headed down to airport T2 to meet yuan and mich to study at starbucks there.. i finished one essay =)) all printed and ready to submit today.. airport was fun at night.. quite conducive.. but we had some encounters with weird people.. a guy who watches porn.. and another nus science guy who was rushing lab report and sat with us.. we named him FFF.. ForeFingerFarty.. lol..

took the early bus home from airport.. reached home about 7am.. conked out most of my sunday.. headed to ECP supposedly for lunch with mum and dad.. and saw pple flying kites.. so i bought one!! was fun.. so lame i didnt know how to set up the kite.. so dad had to do it.. and mum was surprised i got it flying so fast.. haha..

at first when mum woke me up i snapped my head off at her.. was so tired.. but was glad i dragged myself outta bed and showered.. i felt SO RELAXED when i stepped onto ECP.. like for once in a very long time i could feel a genuine smile on my face.. and my heart.. it seemed so light all of a sudden.. =)

bought dinner home.. yuan and mich came at night to study again.. but this time i couldnt get much work done.. somehow my mind wasnt there.. was supposed to read up.. so that i could get started on my other essay.. hmm.. ended up sleeping instead..

got a presentation today!! prays all goes well and God's grace and favour flows =)

before i go.. did i mention.. ive been ponning cg and svcs this 2-3weeks? my heart says i needa get my priorities right.. but my body says otherwise.. hmm..

Nut was Cased at ; 12:24:00 PM