God is so good =)

Nut was Cased at ; 9:24:00 PM

ok it's 110am. i shld have started readings almost 2 hrs ago. but i spent so much time organising my lecture/tutorial notes. and now i feel like i should update about today, or should i say yesterday (saturday).

watched 2 movies today. Up (3D) with cg, and The Last House on the Left with my parents. 2nd time watching Up.. wanted to try the 3D thing.. wasnt that awesome. the other movie.. was gory and sadistic. the killings are gruesome.. and there was a whole rape scene near the beginning. my dad wanted to leave halfway. i was forcing myself to watch. it's rated M18, but it felt like R21.

Study skills seminar organised by Arrow this morning was awesome. Coach Maddy, Coach Arthur and Coach Gary shared.

There's so much to share, i'll just summarize yea.. if i've got the time i'll elaborate.. please pardon all my fragmented sentences.. :)

Coach Maddy shared about Embracing Jesus in Your Studies! not that I have God, but God has me. If my life started with the grace of God, it'll end with the grace of God.

then she shared from the book of Daniel chapter 1.. I am holy, I am uncommon, I am set apart from my classmates. Where my minuses increase, pluses superabounds (v3-6). Always begin with the end in mind, allow the Lord to lead me. God not only wants to give us ALL knowledge, but also spiritual knowledge (v17-20).

There is a God in heaven who will reveal secrets to me, who will place people in my path to tutor me. He will shed light in dark areas of my study/subjects (v28).

then from John chapter 15:1-5 (AMP), Christ is in me. As Christ is, so am I. be conscious that Jesus is studying through me. I just have to rest in Him.

Coach recommended to buy Pastor's sermon on 3/5/07..

and i totally love this quote from the short clip she showed us..

" We started this career together, so we are going to end it together."

ok yes this is the gist of Coach's Maddy's sermon.. will share about the other 2 coaches nx time. need to do some readings before i sleep. =)

Nut was Cased at ; 1:09:00 AM

it's 1:43am.. was discussing maths with dad.. got carried away.. loads to update about nie.. but no time.. next time yea..

read yuan's blog.. love this.. hope u dun mind that i ripped it! :D

"just to know that we are still always there for each other. even when we are fifty-two and have to climb the damned carpark stairs to froggy. (: "

love you guys :D


[bdae surprise - around midnight of 15th aug - 16th]

Nut was Cased at ; 1:43:00 AM

im so stressed. i tink im crashing. and it's only day 2.

Nut was Cased at ; 11:15:00 PM

1st day of school today.. one week later than the rest of my cohort..

feeling super nervous now.. scared.. argh.. but i noe that Daddy God is gonna be with me every step of the way.. =D

Nut was Cased at ; 11:59:00 PM

ok MICHELLE AND YUANZHEN.. you guys are AWESOME!!

this 2 babes.. they baked a cake.. and drove to my house at around 12mn.. giving me a total SURPRISE.. and i was like SO UNGLAM in my room..

apparently they called at 8pm and 10pm.. and my ahma told them im out.. haha.. thus they came at 12.. after calling and my mum picked up.. lol..

"so touched my heart skipped a beat" haha..

anw yes.. I LOVE YOU TO BITS.. you guys rock! ootgr rocks!

till death do us part yea.. :D

Nut was Cased at ; 1:18:00 AM

my 22nd birthday's coming to an end in about half an hour..

thank you thank you thank you.. to all who made my birthday such an enjoyable one..

my family.. who bought a cake and cut it at midnight with me.. and the lovely watch my parents gave me 2 weeks ago..

my family at church.. my cg.. who celebrated it with me with yet another CUTE ICE CREAM WINNIE THE POOH CAKE after arrow service today.. and the cute cute carebears.. and the cards with such blessings written on it.. amen to all of them!

nancy and the cg for praying and laying hands on me.. thank you all!

not forgetting all the smses and facebook msges.. love you all!!

last but not least yea.. thank You Daddy God.. for bringing me into this world 22 years ago.. and placing so many people in my life to bless me.. no words can describe my gratitude.. :D

Nut was Cased at ; 11:32:00 PM

today's my last day at greendale.. spent almost 1 year of my life here.. since september 2008..

i must say ive learnt lots even though there aint no music department here.. reflecting.. i tink ive improved in terms of classroom management.. i remembered there was once last year when i was so pissed with the class i walked out.. i juz couldnt get them to settle down and they were walking around in the music room making a whole lot of noise..

but this year.. i dun have that kind of problem anymore.. and ive built rapport with many students.. and i'll miss all those naughty ones loads loads..

printed my nie timetable this morning.. friday's free.. gotta register for my modules later at 9am.. and still needa settle my laptop and ntu hall.. hmm..

Nut was Cased at ; 8:10:00 AM

convo with yl last night was cool.. realised that i didnt update her.. being my 2nd surety and all.. oops.. haha..

so i was telling her about how this whole nie thing seems quite reckless.. so last min and all.. and how it's quite irritating that i'll be missing the 1st few days of school..

here's some snippet from it.. a perspective that i didnt see before.. hmm :)


"safety net of grace underneath u

u will never be out of His grasp

u will not be shortchanged

in fact u will have so much favour n intelligence

u will catch up in no time

just ask ur teachers for e notes etc

ur shy is ur flesh

u are dead to ur flesh

God's word mah

not i say one ah"


oh and i realised i din cut out that part about hall.. registration's over.. but maybe it's all God's plan to tell me that i shouldnt stay in hall.. maybe it's not for me..

cool huh.. didnt think of it this way.. :)

Nut was Cased at ; 6:59:00 AM

ok.. lots to update..

Thursday

missed 3 calls from a "private" number.. didnt feel like picking up my hp.. even though i had this nagging feeling inside me saying that it's important.. read my email at night.. and realised that those calls were from MOE.. saying that they're offering me a place in NIE this year in the primary school course..

let me explain.. after receiving news that my music course was closed down, i actly wrote in to request to try out contract teaching at a primary school. since i had to wait another year to nie, i might as well try out something new..

so the MOE person told me to write a formal letter in to state my reasons and all.. the nx day after i submitted the letter they offered me a place straight in nie instead.. is this favour or wad?

Friday

cos the email was quite informal, i called moe and spoke to the person who emailed me (candice).. and it's confirmed that i'll be going NIE.. and my course starts on tuesday.. which is TODAY..

i was quite taken aback.. cos it's like so last min and all.. so i had so many admin stuff to ask her.. cos registration for everything at nie is OVER.. so she said she'll call up nie and get back to me..

so we had national day celebrations in school.. i was in red & BLACK.. haha.. was quite fun the whole thing.. but quite chaotic i must say.. haha..

after dismissal, went to watch UP with mum and Jeryl.. and right before the movie candice called me again.. to update me on all the admin stuff.. my timetable will only be generated on wednesdaY! and i'll be missing the 1st few days of school!! argh.. luckily nie will register my modules for me.. the rest.. i gotta settle i tink.. hmm... e-registration, e-orientation..

Saturday-Sunday

headed to batam with parents, bro, and some aunts/uncles/cousins/cousin's kids.. was an eye-opener i must say.. hotel was cool.. we had connecting rooms.. me, my parents and my bro.. room-svc was so-so.. everything's cheap..

but there's one incident that struck a chord in my heart.. on the first day, while the parents were at massage, me and bro explored the place..

we walked around.. everything's so run-down.. vehicles along the roadside, seeing that we're not locals, kept honking at us, asking if we wanted taxi.. quite scary.. felt like they could juz open the door and kidnap us anytime.. traffic system was chaotic.. cars could just go past even when the green man is on..

suddenly.. we saw 2 girls.. sisters.. both not above 3yrs old i must say.. so small.. one of them was only up to my knees.. they were walking ON the road.. DANGEROUSLY.. but they looked like they knew wad they were doing.. they were approaching cars that stopped.. and i realised wad they were doing.. they were begging..

while bro and i were at a junction.. waiting for the cars to clear so that we could cross, the girls walked up to us.. they din ask us for money.. but i looked into the paper bag they were holding between themselves, it was empty..

so they walked with us.. we were heading back to our hotel.. the 2 girls, we realised, were heading to the macdonalds which was just beside our hotel.. they were heading to their "home".. a torn-down shed which looked like a rubbish dump BESIDE macs..

looking at all the kids and youths at batam.. hanging around the roads.. looking dirty and dusty all the time.. clothes too.. i wonder.. wad the future has in store for them.. i cant help but have pity on them..

and what i got from batam.. a terrible sore throat.. and a slight fever.. fever's gone today.. but my throat.. cmi.. haha.. the hygiene there is quite quite terrible..

yea so that's about it for my weekend..

quantity and QUALITY family time.. love it <3 we had an awesome shopping and dinner back at singapore last night.. :D

Nut was Cased at ; 6:38:00 AM

it's amazing how one night (tonight) can change all the feelings that i felt last night.

feelings are so temporal. so fragile. one moment you are all high, the next you are ground bottom, lowest than the lowest hell.

no wonder people say to not trust and be led by our feelings. cos it aint reliable.

Nut was Cased at ; 9:48:00 PM

came home from church at 7 plus today. only grandma at home. surfed the net. super bored. sat in front of the piano, no flow. sad. went back to the com. tried using the internet to distract me. until srsly no page for me to visit already.

shut down com. packed bag/clothes for work tml. walked around the house. drink water. the house was too quiet, too cold. felt really lonely. bored. restless. tired but dun feel like sleeping so early. took out ipod. wanted to head back to my room and nua on the bed already.

1030pm. mum & dad stepped home. grin on faces.

SUPER EARLY 22nd birthday gift. Fossil watch. exactly what i wanted. the design, the colour. been out shopping with mum before and i mentioned. to think she remembered. didnt see this design when we were looking at it the last time though. but it was quite long ago anw.

im really really happy. not about the cost or the gift. but the love from it. the thought that came from it. and when she asked me if i liked it, i was at a loss for words. cos yes, i like the watch, but i like the love even more.

when was the last time they remembered my birthday without me prompting and bought a gift for me? and this time to buy it so early, cos next weekend we are going overseas and they wun have the time to go get it.

but as i said, it's not the gift. their love touched my heart. tears are trying hard to be kept in.

parents are the only people.. i realised.. no matter how hard i fall, how terribly i fail, they may hate/scold. but those will never last. cos ultimately, we are still their flesh and blood.

what more my heavenly Daddy.

i know my parents will never read this. and im not the kind who will express my feelings openly to them either. but still,

mum & dad, i love you.

Nut was Cased at ; 11:11:00 PM

Hold Me Jesus

Well, sometimes my life
Just don't make sense at all
When the mountains look so big
And my faith just seems so small

CHORUS:
So hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace

And I wake up in the night and feel the dark
It's so hot inside my soul
I swear there must be blisters on my heart

CHORUS

Surrender don't come natural to me
I'd rather fight You for something
I don't really want
Than to take what You give that I need
And I've beat my head against so many walls
Now I'm falling down, I'm falling on my knees

And this Salvation Army band
Is playing this hymn
And Your grace rings out so deep
It makes my resistance seem so thin

CHORUS

You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace

Nut was Cased at ; 12:03:00 AM