received good news today.. but am not prepared to share just yet :D

all i know is Daddy God is good and He just gave me a tight hug :D

He just assured me that He have not left me :D

Nut was Cased at ; 9:30:00 PM

attended 3rd service today.. brought karen along cos she's on mc this weekend and didnt go to teach.. hahaz..

wanted to explore gallery west for service instead of going to the rock audi.. so i asked mstan for directions.. found my way there fairly easily though.. met a couple of pple there.. like jeryl's tcher!! hahaz.. she came and talked to me.. so cool huh..

oh and bumped into mstan herself.. with her sis.. her sis left early.. then her bf came.. we joined them for coffee at gloria jean's after service.. had fellowship together.. shared a lil.. feels a lil weird.. having fellowship with ur tcher of many yrs.. lolz..

then then.. walked around suntec.. bought stuff again! zzz.. then met parents.. had dinner.. then bought more stuff!! zzz.. ended off the day at starbucks chilling out..

reached home and bro's home!! bugged him to teach me how to solve the rubik's cube.. and he did!! i can solve it now!! but just a lil slow.. haha!! nvm.. feeling super satisfied, slow or not. :D

Nut was Cased at ; 11:59:00 PM

wow so fast, another week has passed..

i am terminating my teaching at lowrey music school come end of may.. and i'll be taking on 20+ violin students as their accompanist in June in preparation for their exam in july.. from july, i'll be taking in private students at my place from wed-fri.. i currently have private theory lessons at my place on friday and alternate saturdays..

and that's the update..

in a super sianded mood now.. piano lesson with mstan this morning didnt go as well as i wld prefer it to be.. i need to freaking spend more time on my piano.. seriously, practise jasmine, practise!!

and since it's study break for nus students this week, we didnt have cg today.. instead cg will be held at suntec tml.. but im nt sure i'll be going though.. as ive mentioned, im feeling super sianded..

probably because my period, which is seldom late, is late for more than 1 week already!! come on man, let's get this over and done with!!

but im thinking of what is causing it to be delayed.. i cant be pregnant, so i conclude it must be the amount of stress and anxiety im feeling.. there's so much happening that i cant confide in anyone.. sigheth..

think happie thoughts!! hahaz..

Nut was Cased at ; 9:44:00 PM

didnt had the mood to go for service initially.. but a voice in my head encouraged me.. was told that it was probably Daddy!! so i cabbed down immediately for 3rd service with cg..

was feeling really sianded on the cab.. but once praise and worship started, i felt a whole new me!! i felt so refreshed. oh and ms tan was there at 3rd service too!! service was good.. today is miracle sunday!! everyone sowed their seed!!

at the end of the service after pastor prayed for our seed and our harvest, everyone just went up to the boxes to sow.. and i couldnt help smiling to myself.. kept smiling and smiling like some crazy person.. hahaz. just felt so rested and relieved of all my worldly problems..

i had a sudden revelation that Daddy wants the best for us. and He feels our pain and disappointments too. I am not alone. He is always by my side. The only shoulder that i can depend on for eternity. He will turn our disappointments into His appointments!!

this quote from Pastor prince that really spoke to me today. "Do not look at the world and let the world intimidate you."

Nut was Cased at ; 11:59:00 PM

ended teaching early today.. absent students that's why..

dad had work.. he'll be working these few weekends.. some company exhibition.. he said he'll be working late into the night.. so i kinda decided not to go for Arrow service.. accompanied mum for the afternn.. caught a movie.. Awake.. quite nice.. yep..

but after the movie, dad called saying he's done early.. so we went home, changed, and headed down to club.. i didnt want to go.. so got dad to drop me off at suntec instead.. headed down to Arrow service.. hahaz.. was late.. but better late than never huh..

had dinner with cg.. didnt eat cos no mood.. heard something that made my heart sink.. sigheth..

i have got no one, and nothing to turn to or depend on now.. all except Him.. i really pray that He will fulfill my innermost desire.. im finding it really hard to put all my trust in him in my present state.. but im trying. waiting for His favour to fall upon me.

Nut was Cased at ; 11:35:00 PM

just came back from bridget's cg. was a cool session yea. shared quite alot. lol. gained alot too i guess. we were loaned this super huge book to read. about out inner and outer being. cool book too.

great night. im so glad for that 'force' that dragged me out of my house and led me to attend cg today :D

Nut was Cased at ; 11:59:00 PM

all thanks to yl, im feeling good now! the best ever, for this week. ive been experiencing the 'big D' this week. just couldnt get over the 'unfavourable' news i received last friday. remember?

but all thanks to yl!! im slowly coming out of my 'big D' shell :) not totally out yet. however, slowly but surely! thank you Daddy for placing her in my life. i can feel You speaking through her. speaking life unto me. can't tell you how blessed i am. :D

it's weird how we always talk when it's like so late? or shld i say early? haha. im feeling like a lost sheep being found by the shepherd! and the shepherd is doing wanders to the sheep through Him! though he may not know it :D

"it doesnt matter how much milk you spill, as long as you don't lose your cow."

Nut was Cased at ; 1:45:00 AM

i had a generally good weekend.. attended cg at nus last friday.. and in the middle of it, i received some unfavourable news via sms.. still attempting to come to terms with it now.. so that piece of news kinda made me 'down' the whole weekend.. lol..

saturday after teaching, hanged out the rest of the day with my parents.. cos there wasnt arrow.. had dinner at this really 'high-class' japanese restaurant which had really awesome food! lol.. bill totalled over a hundred though.. haha.. but it's totally worth it.. not only the food, but the ambience and service too!

sunday headed down to church after teaching.. then rest of the night with parents again.. didnt had the mood to hang out with cg for dinner.. cos of that 'unfavourable news' remember? haha..

and today.. woke up in the morning and bummed around at whitesands library for a couple of hrs reading my Sophie Kinsella.. very conducive! cos it's quite early and there aint no kids around.. haha!

reading is good.. u can just absorb yourself in the shoes of the characters. and forgot all about your worries.. but it's only temporary though.. hmm..

bible study tml morning!

Nut was Cased at ; 9:26:00 PM

ooo.. had breakfast bright and early at tm macs with yingling!! we had the new mcgrizzle thingy. haha. quite weird the burger. and yingling kinda 'forced' me into saying grace. zzzz. my 1st time leading grace! lol.

anw woke up feeling really sianded. but i asked Daddy God to give me the enthusiasm for the day. and He did! took a shower and headed out. after breakfast i went for my piano lesson. and now here i am back home!

waiting for my 2 theory students to come. after that, which is this evening, got cg! but not really sure which to go to though. bridget's cg or yingling's. hmm. Daddy God enlighten me!

Nut was Cased at ; 1:45:00 PM

today is one of those days when u feel so empty. and pissed with the world for no one particular reason. sigheth.

i had one surprise student today. came in when i was about to leave. at 915pm. i called up the school to enquire. boss said he forgot to inform me. sigheth. so i taught till 10pm. at the end of the lesson i smsed the boss's daughter to ask if there're other slots available for the girl. too heavy for me to teach at such a late hour. especially on such a heavy day as wednesday.

sigheth.

i think im thinking too much. to the extend that i do not feel a point in living. oh no this is so bad.

Nut was Cased at ; 11:59:00 PM

i had a great msn session with yingling last night. till about 2+ 3am.

always feel super rejevenated after talking to yingling. her words are just so 'POWER'. haha. until i couldnt sleep. even after she left msn. lol. spent the time awake going through what we talked about. what she shared with me. i took notes and it was about 4 whole pages!! lol.

feeding on this verse now.

Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans i have for you." declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Nut was Cased at ; 10:15:00 PM

didnt get to go to service today, even though i finish teaching on sundays early, starting from this month. why? cos i joined my parents for lunch at east coast, afterwhich they wanted to go to vivo to shop. and my mum refused to let me go to church.

well she didnt exactly scream and shout at me. but she just said very calmly, asking me why am i committing myself to attend services. i smsed yingling to tell her all these. she comforted me and gave me valuable advice. words of wisdom. sigheth. what am i to do without yingling.

anws, so i had a pleasant time with my parents. i spent a bomb at GAP. about 200 bucks. bought tshirts and jeans.

and while i was fitting on my jeans, i received a sms from mstan. asking if im at service. she was! told her my story, and once again, i received words of encouragement. and she promised to get me the sermon cd.

felt really touched. i felt a warmth pass through my whole body. knowing that ive got a spiritual family who really care. sisters in christ!

quoting yingling, "Daddy God will not shortchange you just because u cannot attend church due to certain circumstances. our parents love us and it's important for us to know that. And Daddy has given them as our parents to love, cherish and respect."

awwww.....

so after walking around at vivo and stopping a while for coffee, we headed down to the club for a shower and had dinner. and now here i am, back home. lol.

Nut was Cased at ; 9:32:00 PM

today's arrow service was excellent. totally touched my heart. teared when we sang amazing grace (my chains are gone) during closing. i believe a couple of others too. and what pastor benjamin prayed for us, totally hit the mark. totally spoke for me.

on a lighter note, the theme for today's arrow was GEEK FEST. which meant we should go dressed as geeks. haha. i didnt really dress up, just changed my crumpler to a backpack. haha. many others did really dress up though. hilarious! my cg did those nerdy specs using cardboard. didnt stay for phototaking with them though. had dinner with my parents:)

all in all, great day today!

Nut was Cased at ; 10:38:00 PM

Ephesians 4:26-27
"In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.

this verse reminded me of my feelings yesterday. but im so glad i realised it and Daddy God reminded of this verse:

Matthew 5:44
But i tell you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.

my feelings didnt change immediately, but after pondering on the verse, i suddenly felt light-hearted. i've come to terms with the issue and decided that i will not gain anything from feeling the way i felt.

however i will not let the issue just pass. i will be following up with practical actions.

thanks to the pple over at Lowrey, im granted this week off. which means i dun have to teach today and tml.

i spent the whole day today with mum, keeping an eye on her. we went for a movie, Horton, in the morning. then grocery shopping, followed by a trip to the pharmacy to enquire on some equipment.

came home discussed with dad, and we will be making another trip down to get those equipment tml.

Nut was Cased at ; 12:13:00 AM

there's a pissifying freak at my workplace. such an insensitive, selfish person.

i can't believe im scolding pple at my blog, in my mind. whatever happened to "love your enemies"..

but at times like this, i find it really hard to fulfill these in the bible. well i really admire those who can.

Nut was Cased at ; 1:04:00 PM