Right here

Staind - "Right Here"

I know I've been mistaken
But just give me a break and see the changes that I've made
I've got some imperfections
But how can you collect them all and throw them in my face

But you always find a way to keep me right here waiting
You always find the words to say to keep me right here waiting
And if you chose to walk away I'd still be right here waiting
Searching for the things to say to keep you right here waiting

I hope you're not intending
To be so condescending it's as much as i can take
and you're so independent
you just refuse to bend so I keep bending till I break

But you always find a way to keep me right here waiting
You always find the words to say to keep me right here waiting
And if you chose to walk away I'd still be right here waiting
Searching for the things to say to keep you right here waiting

I've made a commitment
I'm willing to bleed for you
I needed fulfillmentI found what I need in you
Why can't you just forgive me
I don't want to relive all the mistakes I've made along the way

But I always find a way to keep you right here waiting
I always find the words to say to keep you right here waiting
But you always find a way
To keep me right here waiting
You always find the words to say to keep me right here waiting
And if I chose to walk away would you be right here waiting
Searching for the things to say to keep me right here waiting

Guard Duty yet again

Hi peepz. Another random blog entry for the record. Today im serving guard duty yet again.

Nolaa... dont worry its not punishment or watever, i juz help cover for my friend who is a family man. Dart personnel lagik.

Guard duty ni actually pretty simple. There are 3 tasks. Namely 2 types of Sentry and prowling.
Sentry become Bai Jaga at the gate. Got two gate so got two Sentry post. While prowling is walking from one checkpoint to another all over the camp.

We have rotating 2 hr shifts so... work 2hrs den sleep 2 hrs.. For an entire 24hrs. At the sentry post, boredom sure can kick in. Luckily got kaki to company you. For me, my buddy this time is Fahmy.

Opening a conversation wif him is quite easy. Hopping from one topic and another. Thru this i got to know him pretty well. Plus he help me think abt some questions still haunting my thoughts.

I do wonder whether im wondering too much abt it. Probly i am. Its never easy when it comes to the matters of the heart. I noe ure nodding to that one. Ahahah

Well, now do i forget her and move on or keep holding on to what i feel i must do... Ntahlaa what do u think? I got plenty time to think here in NS. Its what keep me sane... and i hope not the opposite.

Klaa peepz.. Juz a blog entry since im super bored here doin guard duty. I hope everyone is doing fine in the outside world. So many of my close frens are having it tough at work, school and play. Probly coz close to year end byk kecoh arh. But rmb, Sesudah kesusahan itu kemudahan. ; )

Salam

Bye BRTC

So sunday nite book in at 8.00pm. I arrived quite early coz my mom send me to camp. LOVE YA MOM! But my mood was rather different that nite.

If ya didnt noe, I am the Platoon I.C. for BRTC 109TH, Alpha Company, Platoon 3. And that nite would be my last nite wif my platoon. Why? well...... I got posted to Special Rescue Battalion (SRB).

HAHAHAH

nolaaa... Actualli I got posted to Emergency Rescue Specialist. (Sorry if any of you didnt get the joke) and the nxt morning i would be booking out to my new camp, the Civil Defense Academy, which is only next door.

So it would be the last nite wif my great frens. Platoon 3 or 'Tigers' is a great platoon. Ofcoz there is a nice blend of all sort of ppl wif diff education background and lifestyle. Those 'intimidating' ones (wif tattoos, etc) turn out to be really frenly and cooperative. Every bonded well.

All those tekan session. Keep doing push up because ppl keep moving. Impersonating the coprals. Gerek jugak laa recruit life nie.

But I cant wait to see what ERS is gonna be like. They say gonna be tough and well... Im up for the challenge.

Well anwz if any of u wonder how my BRTC life is like.. here are some pics on my last nite in Dorm 4.

Well this is my bed. Yeaa laaa I know berserak giler. Come on laa i was packing up ok. I love my bed. Mine was the only one by the window. During the nite I open the window wide open. Fuuyoohhh best!!! Mcm Aircon! Plus during the day the rule is you cannot sleep on your bed but i can sleep on the floor infront of my locker and not get caught. Hehehe.

The bunk (or Dorm) is pretty huge! With 20 beds, lockers and plenty of space. The Beds are 7inches thick! GEREK!!! But certain parts of the bunk can get quite warm during the nite.

But the most important part was the people! Gerek laa.. Everyone talks wif each other. There was no subdivision or childish geng-tak-geng. Part boring2 bunk became mcm karaoke.

From left to right: Faisal. Dekni joker abes. Own up for smoking and take all the blame by himself to save us all who were on pumping position in the middle of the night.

Amir, My buddy. Fadhil, Nizam. And the sapao guy is Firman. A really humble guy, tak lokek ilmu and religiously quite solid despite his background. So dont judge the book by its cover.

Anwzz... to wrap the night up. I kena blanket party. In the middle of my slumber, out of nowhere they wrap me wif my blanket and i went "OH SHIT!" They pounded me! Even the slenger lengung cine sleeping beside me. Cheeeken.. I dunno laa how many ppl. Cannot see. Ada jump from my bed frame and slam me on my stomache. Giler sakk nie budak2. But i was having fun and laughing that i didnt feel the pain. Then as quietly and swiftly as they came, the went back to their beds and act asleep. I open my blanket to have a look, everyone was on their beds.. quite.. some still giggling. Ntah eh.. Im not angry laa as it was all for fun. I was actualli honored they did dat on the last nite.

So on next morning, i bid my goodbyes..

Good bye Berak Rehat Tidor Chalet... Heh

Selamat Hari Raya Peepz!

This year Ramadhan,

Im disappointed in myself

that I was not able to use it

to the fullest for my Ibadah.

I slacked.

I know being in NS is not a good excuse

but I did try.

So today after subuh prayers,

I prayed to god

asking him please let me learn something

or benefit something from this year's Ramadhan

so I can be a better person in his eyes.

Every year buka puasa for last day of Ramadhan would be at my aunts place. So i made my way with my bro on our bikes. My bro suggested goin by PIE. Goshh... I never went there by PIE before.. I always used TPE. Klaaa... Juz follow him should be fine.

So somewhere around the Balestier exit... I was crusing my vespa on the first lane travelling pretty fast in between cars when suddenly this TA200 potong my jalan. OMG!

PULL THE BRAKES!

NOT ENOUGH TIME!

GONNA HIT THE BIKE!

REAR WHEEL SKID!

FISHTAIL!
CARS BESIDE ME!
BIKE SLIDES TO THE SIDE!
LET GO OF MY BIKE!
ROLL... ROLL. ROLL...
OH MY GOD! GOTTA PROTECT MYSELF

LAY IN BETWEEN LANES

NOW IM SLIDING ON MY BACK.

HANDS CROSS INFRONT OF MY CHEST

STOP SLIDING...

THE BREEZE AND SCREECH OF A CAR THAT WHIZZES PAST MY LEFT SHOULDER

I FROZE

Three bikes went down with me. A RXZ and a pulsar. Shit.. i have to pay for their damages. It wasnt my fault but i was too shaken up to argue.

After it was all done i made my way to my aunts place. As i open the door, the takbir surrounds the room. And i saw my entire family breaking fast all happy. Im was so grateful to see them.. I couldnt say a word. I cried.

What went through my mind was that if Allah didnt save me, the mood around the dinner table would be different. The mood for this raya would be different.

I thank god for giving me a chance to live and for my safe well being. I thank god for answering my prayers. On this eve of Hari Raya, the last day of Ramadhan, I have indeed felt a positive change in me. The experience woke me up. I am grateful for my family, my body, my mind, my rezeki. I am grateful for everything Allah has given me. I regret for each time I wasted my time.

Subhanallah.

Thank you Allah.

On another note, to whom it may concern... I miss you.

Selamat Hari Raya Peepz!

Accidents Happen

Hey... U noe why theres more guys in accidents?

Time for Recollection

Whoa Today GEREK Laa... It Went waayy better than expected. Firstly its a such joyous occassion for me today.. but also... I thought as I finished school, sure boring one. Was I wrong.

The day started at 12pm with a Visit to the New Old School. Wahahah Mrepek eh.. Basicly my Old Secondary school had a new facelift and Ive never went to see it. Sooo Azfar ajak the Rawburst crew to lets go see.

I was late and so I went straight to Mr Ow... No.. This time Not for discipline that was soo overdue... We had a really nice chat wif the Man and after which we went exploring the school. Ehh.. so big laa now. SOOO NICE! Bloody hell... sooo jeluz man. Everything is spacious and new. If last time like this.. Conferm smangat nak blajar.. Oso get to meet teachers like Mr Halim... Mdm Mariam. She's as nice as alwaez. Very motherly. Cool laa..

During the 'tour'... It stroke to me that I could actually see myself as a teacher. Teaching Teens, inspiring those that were like me then (Slacker, not academically inclined, unmotivated, playful, etc) to be successful and goal oriented. Its sad to see them not enjoying the best time of their life. Or maybe its because they are enjoying it too much? Maybe its wrong for me to impart my regrets and 'what if's?' on them. But seriusly.. this saying goes as old as any old man i know... STUDY HARD MAN! STUDY NOW!

hEHEhe Its funny to go see the sch right after my last day of Poly. Mcm... time for recollection. Hahaha

So aft that Me and azfar went to ghufran to pray and juz enjoy the ambience. Aft which off we go to T3 wif Jo... which after sight seeing we basicly Chat and lepak at the McDonalds.

Later that night... I was at Taman Warisan Melayu rehearsing for the Raden Mas Production with Sri Warisan. Good thing was that Bro Zahid and Bro Zaki was there... I wasnt really good at contributing steps for Tarian. Then... i KENA by my two bros to 'volunteer' ajar some girls silat moves. Aiyaaa... Hard laa... Kkk juz do it laa.. It turned out good actually. Glad diorg cepat tangkap. So after finalising our steps... the day was done! And home and bed I come

Mixed Emotions

Mixed emotion was felt today. That is because my last exam paper would also be my last day in Poly.

HAPPY FEET!

Finally finish my exam papers! WoooHOO! How can u not be happy abt that? It means FREEDOM! Last night I didnt sleep much because I was too Syiok Studying. Yeap you heard that right.. SYIOK!! I Love studying late nights doing Old exam papers or practice tutorials and get better each time. Cool shit laa.. Study late night (or early mornings depending on how you look at it) is great! Complete Silence = Concentration. But ppl alwez say "ehh I sure sleep one!" My secret is 'CONDITIONING & DIET'.

Conditioning is getting your body up for the task. Which to me means sleeping in the afternoon (the time of day I cant concentrate much) so that I dunnid sleep at night. Diet is basicly your fuel for the night. I gave myself a few dosage of Redbull and Caffeine at this hour. Wahahaha

Also Happy is that I have finished a Milestone in my Life. I got a Diploma laa geng! Dah bley keje.. Dah bley Kawin.. Weeee~! Hahahaha Juz Joking.. I gotta NS first beb.

EMOSHYT

I cant help feeling huge heavy regret for the stuff I did or did not do in the past. Thats what happened when I see my GPA. Basicly I feel I have failed my objective in Poly which was a GPA high enough to get into Uni. Now due to incompetency and complacency, I suffered greatly..

Poly is done over with seyyy. Cant believe it! So much thing happen in the Three years that I can safely say I matured alot in them than the 5 yrs in Sec Sch. I have indeed been changed to a better person due to experience and... education? And now... I dunno man... Poly means Youth to me.. The Prime of my Life.. When Everyone is young and beautiful... Sad laa kan when you think like dat...

= ) = ) = )

So yeah After my last paper I go makan at ITAS with Jo and Shikin. Heyy I think my old Goofy-crazy-jolly-joking Safwan came back. Hahaha Thats good. I was juz joking abt what we gonna do after this.. I suggest me and Jo jadi taxi driver sudah since both of us have driving licenses. Wahahaha Heyyy Ive seen people support their big families that way u noe...

Sooo after that we went exploring the whole sch! Hahaha pathetic sakk.. org first day of sch.. kite last day of sch. We went to the other hujung-ulu side of the school. Ada Temasek Culinary School nye building which is soooo WOW!. Cantek laa siol! But mcm deserted. Than tgk Swimming Pool and the Adventure Learning Facilities. Hhahah And believe me when I say thats my first time there. Also we look around the hostel there. HAahaha nice laa..

The rest of the day was spent on my Bike. Had repairs, inspection and renew insurance. THEN... at bedok Ntuc.. met up wif Jo and Shikin again. Hahahaha Apeseyy.. Dah rindu ke? After which I went home..

And the great day didnt stop when the sun came down.... = D

hEYYY check out some of the pics the day here at Shikin's Multiply! http://whateverislove.multiply.com/photos/album/3/Final_day_of_examinations#2

Special for you!

A Special song for that special someone.. Singing the words I want to say.. Humming the emotions I feel... Especially for you...

(p.s. Sorry kalao oldies/jiwangz/Rockz sangat... Gue feeling beb!)

Song too long? Forward to 03:42 k?? Best part. = )

Love you...
Ehh salah...
Im still loving you!

Haaa... Baru betol... heeee