High on Drugs

Hello ppl.

Im sick today.

Down with fever and food poisoning.

It must have been the Mee Siam I had yesterday Morning.

I didnt go HRD paper just now.

I didnt sleep at all last night

I went to the doctor just now

Got MC. So i guess I'll be taking the supp paper

The prescriptions is making me feel so weak

Got PCM paper on Wednesday

Really have to push to study for that one despite my current state

This is why i hate going to the doctors

I don't exactly feel better after seeing them

Body aches. Brain feels high.

All I feel like doing is sleeping.

Sheesh....

lets talk politics...

Kkkk... i spent half the day watching youtube when i was supposed to be studying for my dreaded HR paper on monday. What i came across is SOOOOO FUNNY... its also somewhat troubling! The video shows fights in the Malaysian Parliament. And the war of words is soo childish. Everything is soooo emotionally driven. I can't believe they represent the people. The majority party is so racist. And the minority isnt helping either by frequently interrupting. So who's at fault? I blame the Speaker. He should be more firm. Indeed i admire how he is so calm, neutral and composed all the while. But he doesnt seem to control the situation. He should have lead the debate by constantly reminding the keypoint of the argument when it gets too emotional and provide both parties the opportunity to finish what they wanna say. If not... the debate won't be productive.

Its so sad. Im so agaisnt Racism. You're all for it because you're the majority now. And when you're not, would you still support Racism that would be against you? Im glad Im in Singapore. Malays are the minority. This is Malay land. But we get respect from the Chinese who are the majority here. Can you imagine if the Chinese are Racist here just to get back on what you are doing across the border?

Most important. Is Respect. Respect = Communication = Love = Happiness = Peace. Even the prophet said to respect your neighbours no matter his race or religion. Secular State??? Please practice what you preach.

K So here are some of the videos. Cool shit!!!

This is them calling each other stupid

"Kuching bodo... Duduk Kuching... Eh tarik balek! Aku tak cakap bodoh mcm gitu bodoh!" - Nazri Aziz

"Yang lain sila diam laa... Cukup laa... Menteri Cukup laa.." - Yg Di-pertua (Speak of parliament)

Fighting over Roof Leakage at one Parliament House!

"Bocor sudah siasat! Besok mau bikin dah! Rumah Besar pon bocor jugak!"
"TAPI SERIUS... SERIUS!" - Bala
"Nie hal lagi penting laaaa~~" - Jasin
"Sekarang mana ada bocor?" - Speaker
"Batu Gajah MP(A lady) tiap-tiap bulan pon bocor!" - wAHahAHahAHaHAH

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA Isnt that Reality Humour for you? There's some more videos in youtube of them calling each other stupid, monkeys and my favourite: "YOU TAK SUKA! YOU KELUAR MALAYSIA!"

In these cases try to keep in mind what they are really arguing about (Corruption, Islamic State, etc.) rather than be entertained by the personal attacks on one another. Pray it wont become like this.... which is worst than Taiwan!



Again man... RESPECT EACH OTHER! Peace out!

Exam Week

Yeah Exams are here!

I had my first two papers today!. It was SAPM (Security Analysis and Portfolio Management) at 9.30am and MA1 (Managerial Accounting) at 7pm. Yes ppl... 7PM! and it ended at 9PM! There's always a first time for everything.

The whole night (Or early morning) before the paper I was stuck to my study table revising everything backwards. I find that soooo effective.... You shud try it. So the night was okayy.... I was overdosing on Redbull and Caffeine and i had old songs for company.

Oh yeahh My Creative mp3 player spoilt. It was a good mp3 player. I had it for 1yr+ and it withstood some brutal violence and most importantly it kept on going. So I needed music for company. Look through my pile of thrash desperately and found my old Discman! Sweeeet.... I love it k! Its thin! And its.... soo good laa. CD-RW readable some more! If there was juz one not good thing about it is that its big compared to a mp3 player. *Duuh~*

So the entire time of the night i was listening to all my old CDs: Adema, RedhotChilliPeppers(By the way album), Slipknot, my Legendary Iron Maiden CD, Prodigy.... I have to say, Listening to old CDs is FUN!

Kkk... after both Friday papers, i check my HR Coursework Grade. And guess what?? I got D+. D+????? I NEVER SEEN A D-GRADE FOR SUCH A LONG TIME!!! I could hear the crack as my heart broke. Imagine you're trying your hardest to push your GPA so that you can go into uni easily. Im doing great for my finance subject... my HR grade is soo gonna pull me down.

I hate PBL. Its too subjective.
I hate the people in my HR group. Evil Smiles all around.
Let it be known I would fancy rather kick your ass than kiss it.

So sad.... Im gonna have a chat with the teacher.

inconducive environment

Last night (or morning) i studied at Downtown East McDonald. Yeah2 i know what you guyz are saying. "Safwan nak free Burger je!" Eh excuse me arh you can ask Azfar, yesterday i paid everything with my own money. Btw the $1.80 Coffee there... SUX!


So I left Pasir Ris at 5+. Den drove my Sis and Dad to work and I was home at 8+. Waaaaa so tired. Havnt had my sleep yet, So off to bed.

I WAS FREAKING TIRED LAA. But i couldnt sleep. *FISH* LARH. Some stupid Guy was blasting music. Was so loud, the bass shook through the walls. I covered myself under the pillow still can hear that irritating bass. And it wasnt some hip hop or reggaeton or some pop song. It sounded like some cheap music used in 16-bit games. Simple and repetitive nonsense. IRRITATING! Wahlieuweh... I got up, go to the window and try to find where the foul evil was coming from. Palatoot! Its like from the block infront sia! Wahpiang so ignorant sia. Dunno wat time izyt?? Dunno ppl have to sleep izyt? You want to testing your subwoofer do it at Mandai, McRitchie or some ulu place laa dimwit. You want to 'feel' your bass so much I become Hulk and Smash Your head with your Subwoofer can?? HWAAARRRGGHH!

Freaklarhhh... I didnt get any sleep. Using the com awhile and going to school. Tired... but need to study mah. waaaaaa....... motherfatherson 'tol!
- 11.37am -

Ohkayy... I wasted alot of time today... I went to eat Lunch at Prata Paradise with Aisyah, Sarah, Wani, Zakiah and Michelle. I ordered prata and then it came with the curry poured all over it. like, wha...? I guess i was too tired to argue so i juz eat it. Its all the same when it gets to the stomache anwz..

After lunch go library level 6 to study. Many ppl man! My favorite spot was taken so i had to settle for something less. Figures there was not one thing that could get into my brain. Too tired. Need sleep. I couldn't even sleep on the desk properly. Haiyaaa... so wanted to be at least productive for a little bit, i met up with the girls again so i can print MA tutorial answers. When i arrived there.... i juz laid down on the bench and slept.

It wasnt comfortable but it works....

At night nothing was done too. I juz wasnt feeling good. Having headaches. Yes... just wat i need. Ok see ya!

mcm dulu2...

What Have i been doing lately?

Well lets just say, THAT is what i have been staring at lately. End of Semester Exams are around the corner. Really wanna score. Been doing nothing much. No outings, no rides, no whatever. Only go out when i have to.

So yah.. studying so hardcore like this reminds me of the time i was preparing for my O. Well this time not that hardcore. I only wish i was. Hahahaha

Well thats all the entry for now, unless you guys want me to go into detail what i have been studying. Hehehe Till then... may the force be with you.

p.s. The pic is an old pic. Notice the Olvl 10 yrs series on the table? heheh but weird thing is it looks like dat even now. Hahaha

Oooyah. I've been watching alot of Bruno/Borat/Ali G lately. You guys shud check him out at Youtube. Boo Yaa Kaa Sha!

Good job wan!

ehem ehem... test mic.. test one two... ok....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NADH!

WOOOO!!!!!

Kauzzz How i hope i could have celebrate your birthday with you.

May all your wishes come true.

Hahahah Well today is a fun day even after a tiring day at sch. Had HR the whole day. 11 to 1, 2 to 4 and 4 to 6. After that went to meet my tutor to know my grade for Financial Analysis project. Andddd.....

Got 81.5%!!! Waaaaaa~! I thought that project was screwed! And the teacher praised that the Qualitative Analysis part saying it helped pushed our grades up. Then she asks, "Who did the Qualitative analysis?" and Zhengyang said "Safwan!" Hahahah yes thats right! Yay! Feels sooo good to contribute to the group. I love this group laaa what can i say. They are fun guys.

K another fun thing i did today was take public transport. "HUH?" you may say but its a totally refreshing experience for me. Hahahaha Naik motor boring laaa.. You dun get to see 'people'. if you get what i mean.... heheheh

Theres pros and cons to everythin i guess. lets see...

CAR

Best thing about Cars is comfort. Your own space, your own aircon. The luxury. Also you pretty much dont care about the weather.

Bad thing is its expensive. I drive a Hyundai Trajet. Dia nye sedut minyak... fuuuyooohhh.. 50bux in 3 days. Also about cars is the problem of parking and traffic jams. And i find cars not as fun as bikes. Another thing is that i dun get to drive the car often because well... im last on the priority list. Hehehe

Motorbike

FREEDOM! FUN! Its faster than car because can ride in between lanes during jams. I ride a Vespa so everything is cheap. ERP, Fuel, maintainance, Parking. One good thing about Bikes is that if you search hard enough you would noe where to park your bike for free without getting saman! Since im the only person riding the bike, i have total control over it. Night riding, etc.

Its shortcomings would be that riding bikes is not safe. If u ride a bike, confirm you WILL fall down. No matter how good or safe rider you are. Also a problem is you're at the mercy of the weather. This factor sux the most. And also.... i tore alot of shoes bcoz i ride a bike. Thats why i rather fancy a slipper to sch.

Public transport.

Its such a social activity. Get to see people. Some more interesting than others. Some VERY interesting till you wanna know them. Hehehe And you get to enjoy the journey. Look around. Its very interesting.

Sad thing is that you are at the mercy of the bus driver and other things. So slow siow.... Also compared to my bike... expensive liao.. I take adult fare mah. hahaha Sometimes you dont get seats. Which is a big turn off.

Well alas what can i say, you cant have the best of everything. If u had me to choose... i would juz have to say Public Transport. In one condition.....

Student fare.

Hahahah K im outz! See ya!!

Stressed or Challenged?

The Fundamental Question right now....

"Stressed or challenged?"

I got B for SAPM and MA coursework which takes up 50% of my overall grade. Meaning i have a minimum of 35 marks in the bag already. Based on that minimum, i need to score nothing less than 90 marks in the coming End of Semester Test to get an A for these two subject.

I want As. I want to go Uni. A local one please.

I need time. I need motivation. I need help.

I dont have the luxury of time. Im left with 1 week. And both paper falls on the same day. Got training for Festival some more. How can i get time for myself? Got to cut down on unnecessities like oversleeping, playing game, playing com, lepak2, etc. Got to cut down sleeping too.

Right now, the best motivation working right now is fear. Fear of failure. Fear of regret. Im so scared right now. I feel as though i have already Failed and am already Regretting to be in the state i am right now.

Theres not alot of help around. I only have my tutors. Classmate? hmm... not too close to anyone of them that would go the extra mile to help me. Times like this i wished i hadnt been in business. If engine, atleast ada members. I'll turn to god. But god will help only those who help themselves. God, you did help me so much. Please help me...

Well when you're in this kind of condition alot of things will hit on you. The fact that you are flat broke. You're dangerously desperate. You're pathetically troubled. It going out of control.

I miss my catharsis.

You were there for me.
Back then you're My motivation, My inspiration, My aid, My goal.
Its so different now without you.
I need you.
I dont even know where you are.

So, the fundamental question

Stressed?
or Challenged?

Im Challenged!
Please god help me.

Takmo stress stress. See what it can do to you. You can lose your mind!

When Monday blues turns black

Today started out great. Woke up after a good night sleep and played with Aqilah for abit. So sad but had to leave her. I didnt bring my Specs to chalet so i was riding with my dry contacts on. My left eye was soo dry i was riding only with one eye open. Now THATS EXTREME! heheh pejeee...

Today during HR tutorial i think Mrs Lee had PMS or sumthin. Or maybe menopause. We juz received past yrs hr exam paper and ofcourse we havnt had a chance to do it. So she was practically going through the answers which the class diligently copied. As she was going through the answers, she kept on rambling like "Im juz writing down what ever you say" which may just be suggestions or 'participation' from the class. WTF siaaa.. Den i copy properly she go thru anihow. Atlast she fed up and ends the tutorial half way. WTF????

As i was about to leave, Mrs Lee called up my grp to stay behind abit. Uh oh... here we go.. She started by saying she feels that not everyone in the group is contributing to their best effort towards the previous project. She was being very general so i was fine with that. like... What else is new right? Then she turn to look at me. waaaaaaaa..... fish! She said alot of things but summarised

1. I am not contributing my best to the project
2. I don't know what is going on
3. Im being too quiet during discussions

I was at the verge of unleashing all fury but i restrained myself with silence. There was once i couldnt hold it and just interrupt her, "My work not good meh?" in an ah beng tone. She said my work was good is juz that i was too quiet during discussion and as though i dunno what was goin on. K, there were a few facts to that.

Why talk when the person is not listening? Previous projects what ever i said u never take seriusly eventho they turn out to be what u r finding for. I saw it in ur face i got it right. But u turn to look at the girls hoping they got it right as well. Wassup wif that??

I don't know whats going on because my grpmates kept me out of the whole thing. I was only given Compulsory Benefits. COME ON! What am I supposed to do with that?? Its not even to be included with the project. And when i want to work together with the project, i cant even contact my grp mate that i was supposed to work with. I tried contacting the whole day god dammit. And you contact me back only at night when everything is pretty much done up.

Lastly im not delivering to my potential bcoz the opportunity was taken from me. I wanted to do FWS which was big portion but the girls schemed up and didnt let me. To think of it i could have complained to Mrs Lee abt that but wud u take my words above theirs?

Dahlah wan, forget about it. Last HR Project. Best you concentrate on exams aje sudah.

So thats what i did. I went to ITAS to eat. I was pretty hot headed and really really down at that point of time but looking at the antics of Nadirah, Hidayah, Alia and Sarah really did cooled me down abit. Alia can be so cute. I didnt laugh but atleast they made me smile which means alot. I rmb there were times when they were the ones who were down and I was the one laughing and joking away. And it all happened right at the same spot. word~

I went to Masjid Ghufran to pray Asar before spending the rest of the evening at level 6 Library studying. Then Abg Rad called me.

"Safwan kat mane?"
"Kat skola, library tengah belajar"
"Niari takde (TP) Silat?"
"Tak laah. Niari kan cancel"
"Ouhh.. Asal Cancel?"
"Ntah.. diorg msg Safwan bilang takde. Mungkin pasal exams"
"Exams biler?"
"Around two weeks time...?"
"Ouhhh.. pasal Abg Rad kat TP nie"
"???" (Look at the time 7.46pm)
"Abg Rad tadi amek Taxi turon. Takda orang nie"
"Diorg tak bilang Abg Syah?"
"Tak... Klah Abg Syah balek dulu"

Omg. I called Syahrul straight away. Basicly it was totally cockup. Syahrul thought I told Abg Rad already and I thought Syahrul told Abg Rad already. Come on laaa.. takkan Syahrul tak bilang. Then again, "come on laaa, takkan safwan tak bilang"

Im a guy with a strong concious so that hit me really bad. There was nothing i could do but present an apology. But I feel it wasnt enough as it was, eventhough partly, my fault. After i msg him my apology and explanation. He replied "Ok, no problem". I don't know why but Somehow i wasnt satisfied with that. I was expecting to be punished and not be forgiven too lightly. Or am i juz silly? Shouldnt I be happy he didnt overeacted about it?

Enough frusting over that. Whats left of the night was not going to be all that well either. Ive already made arrangements to de-stress and meet with Arshad to eat at Simpang Bedok to grab some Kebabs. Suddenly, i received an emergency call from an important friend who needs my help right then. Can i go for both? Apparently nope. Painstakingly i had to suggest this friend to go home, which would not help at all. It Broke my heart to do that. Sux.....

Today Sucks. Did i walk under a ladder? Did i broke a mirror? Did a black cat cross my path? I think it might have been all of them. suxxx....

the Saturday thickens

Today was gonna be any ordinary Saturday. Juz having silat in the afternoon. But its interesting how the day develops.

Around 2pm my mom ask me to go to Concourse to buy balloons. You see, Im having a chalet birthday party for my sis and Aqilah (Yes, its on the same day!) at Downtown East tomorrow so if the grandmom wants balloons, she'll get balloons. Weird thing was, why concourse?? Ok i wasnt in a debatable mood at that time so i juz nod to it.

I was online pretty much after that. MSN with Aida talking abt TPSilat elections, wanting to borrow her digicam for Chalet tomoro and also thought of meeting her and Farid at Concourse which was also where Farid works. Surprise2 she IS already there. Ok nvm. So by 4 im out of the house heading to beach road.

My bike feel so much more agile with the tyres all pumped up. Im was whizzing here and there. Fun laa eyy.. And guezz what??? I was on Changi road infront of Masjid Kassim, and guez who i saw? FARID AND AIDA! hahahaha i was in the middle lane and also goin too fast so i juz horn frantically till Farid turned. I think he did recognized me or he juz put up his hand to wave.

First time at Concourse Shopping Mall. So nice the place but so empty. So ulu. I was very speculative whether ppl come here at all. But the party shop was sumthin else. Spoilt brats running here and there, grabbing stuffs and crying throwing tantrums. Hahaha Get out Of there its gonna blow!!

Silat that afternoon was great. Its been a long time i trained TS. seriusly long time. Byk sangat TPSilat arh. Best belajar materi, meet familiar faces. But it was shortlived. I got a call from my mom to teman go Yew Tee CC National Day Dinner. So i whoosh back home and got ready. Best thing was i got to Drive!! All the way from Bedok to Yew Tee and back! Eyyy Powerlaa! And to make things better, we were abit late. So i got 'permission' to drive more faster Hahahahaah WOOOoooo kalao laa Trajet tu ada turbo!

The Dinner was okay. Cannot hope so much from all these kinds of events. The food was..... hmm.. whats the word.... reminisching? You know why?? Ok... first they have Prawn Cereal and then Someone comes to my mind. Hahaha it wasnt that nice. Tak crispy pon. Then after that we had Rendang. Another person gets on my mind. Waaaa i like THAT rendang so much better. Their Rendang like chewing gum.

But to Top it all off for that evening was I got to meet HASANAH! Wooooo. Missed her to bits. The night was not dull after all with camwhoring, chatting and catching up with her. Funny laa she. Sweet too. Ill post the pics up once i got it from her.




The entertainment that night was.... ohkay. Better than usual dinners. But the best joke i was slamming my fist on the table was this one. They had entertainers, dancers, singers all on stage singing National day songs, trying in vain to get the audience hype up. They were really energetic! Like.. "GO SINGAPORE! WOOOO!! I LOVE YOU SINGAPORE!"
Then after the Grande Finale as they were exiting the stage, one guy juz shouted! "HAPPY BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE! WOOOOO!" and at that time the official MC came on stage and he juz said... "siow~....." then he act slumber continue to present the next item. HAHAHAHAHA

So the day was done. Funny how from an ordinary day it got better. So much better. I hope to post pics soon. However I didnt sleep at all that night. Guess why? I got Rash attack. A realli bad one. U see, im allergic to prawns and..... hahahahaha you know the culprit. Ouch...

its in the dictionary!

Safwan -- [adjective]: Sexually stunning 'How" will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Fun Mondays is such a rarity

Orait! Monday can be so fun sometimes. I only have HR consultation and TPSilat today. And HR consultations on mondays is only an hour! And my group was first up this week! Woohoo! So aft HR I plan to go Sengkang for my Contacts Lenses and Sing song for 'necessities'.

I came for HR about 2pm, but i was surprised to see Zhengyang group inside the class. W0ots? did i get my timing wrong? So i hang outside the class for awhile and sure enough two girls from my group arrive. Waaa luckily not paisey laa. Hahaha Weird thing was Changyang(tutor) wanted everyone in the class bcoz apparently some parent (Not my class) complained that his/her child is not in class according to the timetable. So the whole school got more stricter abt classes and timings. I guez the kid played truant. But come on! This is polytechnic u dimwit! Ur child has his/her responsible to turn up for class or not. Stupid sia. If he fail, too bad laa. U raised the kid wrongly. Now, everyone else pay the consequences. Now, I cannot cabot after im done with consultation. Haiyaaa.. susahkan org number one.

So consultation was okay. Except my groupmates don't acknowledge what i say. I kept telling her it was like this and she kept wanting to ask other ppl. Ok lor. Go... turns out, as usual, i was right. And they are the sort short of apologies. Quite arrogant bunch. Don't want to network with the other groups. Nvm, this is the last PBL.

So HR consultation ends at 6! haiyaa.. actualli by 3 im out oredi. So i went sing song, bout my gatsby moving rubber for 8bux. I bot the blue one. Regrets... the purple one was better. Watodo~

TP Silat was ok i guez. Abg rad, kahar, acap didnt come. So i had to teach. the menu was basic kicking and regu. I tot i made it more interesting with inserting some tactics inside. Everything was ok only nampak alot of them belom biase with it so the training wasnt all that successful. Regu was ok. They are actualli good man. Impressive.

So after training, wasnt really in the mood for Prata Paradise. Sent Syahrul, then go home play computer. At night chat up with Ridzuan. Dah lama seyy... gotta catch up with things. Got myself a new project. Going all out with it. Hope u guyz will help me out. Ok dats all for the day. Thanks for reading


Are things different now between us?
I don't intend to change your decision if this is the one you chose.
I just wanna know why.
I have the right to know why.
Im losing something that matters too much to me.
Please don't cheat my feeling saying its nothing
and everything happens 'just because'.

I sooo can relate to this song

Actualli fell in love with the rock version of the song where a guy sings it. Anybody have it? can pass me?? Early Thanks

O.M.G.I.F

Oh my god its Friday!

Its been a hell of a week. Hell of a month in fact. And time is flying by so fast. HR project submission is next week. Exams are around the corner. Third year is really REALLY tiring. And this week has been no different.

Further education?
After Financial Analysis tutorial, had a short talk with Dheepu about further education. I really want to get into a local Uni and take degree in business admin or management. But its a sad reality that my GPA 3 is quite far from the minimum required of 3.4. And looking at how it is goin this semester, I don't think there's a possibility of a miracle. Much with HR in tow. Its moments like this I feel Im in the wrong course. But heck, third year.. lets finish it right?

Hidden Lakes in your neighbourhood
After solat, i followed Syahrul and his friend gi 'Sungei' which is a hidden lake about the same size of bedok reservoir. Damn big sia! And Im sure most of you didnt noe its there. If u got a dead body to dump i suggest this place. Hmm.. Maybe some other day ill go explore it more.

Aqilah!
I came home greeted by my loving niece! She was as cute as usual! We played for an hour plus but i got tired and slept while she entertain herself playing with tissue boxes and soft toys. But then came her eating time. Mom was feeding her then she was abit mischievious and got her dress all soiled. Mom got frustrated and scolded her. Then can see she got merajok and kept quiet. I came over to make sure she is alright but she just kept quiet playing by herself. Geee... i never saw this side of her. After awhile of persistently playing with her, she cheered up. Weee!

At 5+ i went out of the house to tampines. Waited under the block for half an hour. I was okay abt it but the thought of TPSC subcomm meeting at 6 kept running in my mind. In the end i went to the meeting first which ended at 7+.

After sending Syahrul first, we finally head out to bedok library. Shit somethin wrong with my bike. Doesnt feel good. Sux i hate my bike. Then we were on our way to wheelock! which.... i dunno where! HAHAHAHA

Friday night in Town
It was not exactly a comfortable journey. Well firstly my bike was pissing me off and also the thought of goin to town not looking my best. But i love riding along the CTE. Very interesting. We wandered around town till we got to Wheelock. (okok i admit, credits all goes to her for findin the place). anwz, They have some really REALLY pweety shoes and bags over there! But sumhow the day wasnt goin too well for me and It hurts even more when u r window shoppin while ure broke. The only thing that was brightening me up was her company. = )

Then came the thought of the thing that could really cheer me up! THE SIMPSONS MOVIE! It was ON!

.... as a fan, i was greatly disappointed. I guessed i shouldnt have watch too many of its trailers. Hehx

After that, i still felt as though the night was still young and got the urge to join my guyz at Zouk. So thats what i did. But not before getting lost in town again. Had to make a big u-turn here and there. Hahaha. In search of Mt Faber in town. Okok its Fort Canning... Sorry...

Zouk Out, literally
The guyz joined me outside Zouk where we chilled for abit. Laughed at drunkards, Stunned by what little they call dresses and just plain chill till they want to go back in. So we went home..

Just leave me be, As i pretend to sleep so i that i won't have to hear your hate.