I can't promise to post any more often, but you may want to bookmark my website for future blog posts. While it will still mainly be a vehicle for my business, I'm going to try and post a personal post at least once a month. See you on the flip side.
http://www.steviecroftphotography.com/blog/
It's time for my once quarterly blog, right?
I'd just like to report that things are good around here. And I'm happy. No, really HAPPY. It's a great place to be! Instead of writing what's new, I'll just write what I'm happy about:
Christmas: The holiday was absolutely lovely. There was no drama. The time spent with family was warm and enjoyable.
Landon struggled heavily over the break. Even to the point when we told him if we caught him sneaking screen time AGAIN (think forth time in three days!) when he wasn't supposed to be, that he would lose all screen privileges for the rest of the break AND that his Christmas gift would be completely useless. Can you guess what happened within three hours?!? He lost it. I was sick at first about him opening his kindle on Christmas morning and not being able to play it. But Nick and I compromised that he could read. We blocked everything but reading, and guys, HE LOVED IT. He couldn't quit saying the whole break how great it was even if he could only read. It was sweet and a good reminder that following through can be a blessing even when it seems like a curse.
Also, I still have thirty Christmas cards that never made it out to the neighbors. Want one?
Chicken McMansion: There are eight hens living in my backyard now. They are the stupidest, most obnoxious animals on the planet, and somehow I still find myself wandering out to just sit and watch them in wonder. It was my choice to adopt them from their former home, and while half of me wants to swear at them while I'm cleaning their poop (and entire garbage can full in 1 month!!!) and trying to herd them out of places they shouldn't be, the other half of me hurries out at night when it's -20 to make sure their coop is completely sealed and that they all made it up to roost before it got too dark to move. Love those little pesks! And I really love the couple of eggs they've shared this last week!
Church and Young Women's: Leading this group of girls is so fulfilling. Our numbers went from 20 girls to less than ten this year. I still find myself looking around for everyone else (that are no longer here), but the plus side is we get to spend a lot more time one on one with our remaining girls. Sometimes it's draining, but lately I more or less feel a great sense of fulfillment in trying to plan lessons and activities that we can have a lot of fun at while also learning about Christ.
My only goal at the beginning of this year is to read my scriptures every day. It's something I've failed miserably at the last few years, so here's to a new try! Nick and I are also singing in the ward choir. While it's tricky with young children, we are enjoying our ability to create music.
Work: I have stayed busy, busy, busy this Holiday season. I was about at burnout right before Christmas, but with the new year rolling in, I got re-excited over my new clients and my plans to teach a few classes again. I did receive a slightly negative email from a woman yesterday insinuating that my price that I quoted her was a rip off. I figured I absolutely did NOT want her as a client, so I wrote a very polite, but also very pointed email about what all that session fee has to cover. Strangely enough, this morning she suddenly is all ready to book and definitely thinks my work is worth it . . . Quick, I need a different session that day so I can honestly tell her I'm busy :-)
Other Work: I know I already have too much, but I picked up work for a designer again. I just missed it and needed it in my life! I've already started using her designs for decorating Harry's room and creating new projects. So much fun!
Health: The little complaints never go away, but I am thrilled to be mostly healthy. I'm humbled and incredibly grateful to feel so positive and at peace. 2015 was a wonderful year for my health- I can only wish the same for 2016!
Oh yeah, and they started dragging me back to Zumba, so I guess I won't be able to move for the next few weeks while my body adjusts to the workouts again, but I guess I'm buying a few more years on my ticker, so it's all great, right? Just don't kick me too hard when you walk past because I can't chase after you right now to get even!
Family: My brother has caused quite a bit of drama in my life this fall, so it's such a relief to be able to move on from that situation and start new! I know he is grateful for a new start, even if it is hard as well. I also received news today that my Oma (grandma) will be moving to an assisted living center. When I first heard it I felt briefly sad and the turn of the state of her health, but then I felt a rush of relief! I hadn't realized how much I constantly worry about her in the background of my mind. I am so incredibly grateful she will be receiving a higher level of care that she can no longer do for herself. I hope and pray it will be a place she can enjoy as much as she has liked her current center.
Friends: You people are great, you know? As I rang in the new year and looked at the friends surrounding me, I was overwhelmed with peace at how lucky I was. I couldn't have asked to be in a better place or with better people to start 2016.
On April 22nd, 2005 I woke up in my newly rented apartment, and drove to Rexburg to complete finals.
I kind of avoid blogging anymore because all you'll get is my messed up thoughts that I don't know how to articulate out loud. Most people don't want to read those. But since I really only have . . . maybe three readers anymore? I don't feel so bad just opening my mouth and letting the randomness spill out.
I've been to a lot of weddings in the last two years. As a photographer, even though I don't shoot weddings, I have a lot of involvement with weddings through my colleagues. And I've had a rash of facebook friends and acquaintances that have recently gotten married. So it is not unusual that today I watched a beautiful first look video. I cried because it was sweet. I cried harder because marriage can be so awesome. Then I ugly cried because I don't remember my wedding very well anymore. And most of what I remember is what I didn't like about it or what I'd change.
It's not PMS, but it's got to be something hormonal because I bawled. I bawled that I can't remember it the way I want. That somewhere in there I don't remember the magic anymore. It hit me that you get one shot at this whole wedding thing and my shot was not only done, but so long past I can't even really think what drove me to make some decisions and not others.
It's illogical, but ten happy years of marriage later I'm all upset that I don't get to be in that place ever again. We'll never be young, skinny, innocent, and so magically at the beginning of being in love. Perhaps it's not the wedding itself, but that I've come to a place where I've romanticized that period of a couple's life and want to experience it for just a moment. I really don't want to go back, I just want to REMEMBER how it felt. To be young and crazy in love.
So of course I made Nick listen to my irrational rant. His memory is thin and similar to mine: the basics, what went wrong, and that we were happy. Oh, and that he got sex at the end of the night- let's be honest, guy priorities. I think I secretly wanted him to tell me some romantic story of how he felt the first time he saw me that morning, how the rest is a blur because it was only me and him, and how it was the most magical day of his life. That's a lot to ask when I don't even think about it that way ;-)
Don't get me wrong, I still crazy love this man. I even vaguely remember being super stressed about finances before we got married and all sorts of other real life details like insurance, housing,etc, so I'm sure this vision I have in my head of us being carefree and crazy is pretty much made up. But I can't help it- I just want to retouch the magic. And if I can't have it again, is it too much to ask that I at least remember it that way?
The title is misleading just to get you to read.
Or maybe I just couldn't think of another title.
Either way.
Tonight I just want to spill my guts. That's how I cope with life, I have to DO something about it, even if that DOing is only talking. I'd like to say I'll go back and edit it for brevity and interest, but let's get real. I don't hardly blog anymore let alone make it nice!
I want to talk about how I just had an awful trip to Boise. I mean, it wasn't anywhere near the worst experience of my life, but it was undeniably lame. Harry was sick and had a fever, we were cramped into small quarters of a car for 12 hours in a 26 hour period. I slept maybe 2 hours. And my whole errand for being there was pretty much no bueno. And I get to do it again in 2 weeks :-(
I want to talk about meeting my brother's new girlfriend. I don't think he's really introduced us to any of his girlfriends in like . . . a decade. It's weird and so nice to actually get to meet her and see this other part of his life. She was adorable with Harry. She's an incredibly different person than me- and I really like her. It's the first time any of my siblings have been serious about someone, so this is all new territory for me.
I want to talk about feeling so crushed by the world. It feels like every bit of news or politics I hear makes me wonder what happened to humanity?! There's a reason I only loosely follow the news. It makes me feel like the world is broken, and I don't like that. It doesn't fit with me. I want to believe that while there is a whole lot that's screwed up on our little green planet, I believe there is so much more that is right. I believe that people are basically good and doing their own little bit every day to make it a better place. To only hear news of the overwhelming evil a few can cause obscures what is good and makes me forget why I'm still rooting for humankind!
I want to talk about how there's been so much sickness, pain, and sadness in the lives of those around me, that, too, feels overwhelming. I watched LDS general conference at the beginning of the month and of the many wonderful parts, one very simple challenge was to choose a scripture each week and really ponder it and memorize it. I like simple, one step ideas. I feel like I can take one step at a time in life.
I took my car in to have the oil changed at the beginning of the summer. The "friendly" dealership told me everything looked great, but my brakes needed changed.
This I knew, but I didn't want to pay their price, so I put it off.
Fast forward to today, the end of summer. Only three months later, right? Still haven't fixed the brakes, but they're scheduled for next week. I take the van into a different dealership to get the oil changed.
They tell me the air filters are bad (that they changed a year ago), that the shocks are bad, and that the transmission fluid needs flushed (which I also did a year ago). And they can do it all for JUST $700.
"Anything else?" I ask.
"Nope, everything else looks great," he says.
So either everything looks great except the brakes, or everything is awful except the brakes.
Take your pick/
