His family are facing great personal pain - and if we are people of faith, we would do better to use our words to pray for him and for them, than talking to friends about the situation at every opportunity.

I remember the days where I first started running "properly" in NDU
it was really painful, the side stomach stitches
the perspiration and fatigue

the one I remember quite vividly is my 2.4km route around the camp grounds
We have to complete 3 and 3/4 rounds

For every 200 metres, I would fix my eyes on a particular tree, building or structure
there's this coconut tree at the entrance

despite the pain and all
I would keep telling myself
"I will reach that tree"
"It will be an achievement"
"Lord, help me admire this tree that I will forget the pain"

well,
it may seem stupid or dumb
but it does work
from a 13min 2.4 timing to 8min50s in a year

focusing on the little victories in life is a step forward to greater successes that God has in stored for us

the active conversations with God or small talk is so lacking in my life I realised
we love all the chill sessions with our friends but we don't really come before God as a friend
our image of God is often limited to the miraculous or the "high and lofty one"
I'm reminded this morning to talk to God as a friend

and ya,
God speaks to me most clearly when I am down on my knees scrubbing my toilet
no joke

I thought this is worth a mention
I finally finished this bottle of hair gel

what's so interesting you may ask
well, this bottle lasted me 4 years
actually, not really, cos the last bit, I find that it smells funny, thus I decided to stop using

yes, I'm not sure if others would have used their hair gel for 4 years or more

oh ya, I have short hair plus 1 year botak in NS
maybe that explains it

Time and again, I wonder if it’s a vicious cycle
Whether it’s something I have control over
Whether it’s something I could do something about it

It’s that time of the year, as I spoke to Arlene yesterday
Where people are super busy, either with exams or work commitment
Maybe less of work commitments as the worship team consist of mainly schooling teenagers

How we manage our time and commitment - Is that something that can be revolutionised?
I guess not, after all, all of us are created differently.

But perhaps, what I’ve learnt, is that how we cherish ourselves does affect the people around us, be it whether it’s intentional or not.
Or maybe, I got to admit, sometimes we are just too numb with ourselves to even care or bother what others think. Does that actually mean anything to us?

Deep down within, I know that I am able to keep a good hold of my feelings and to dispel negative thoughts. But sometimes, it’s really hard not to feel disheartened at the way things are.
Negative thoughts such as why should I bother?
Why is it that it must be always me handling things alone?
Why can’t others feel a little more passionate in this ministry?

Whenever I entertain these thoughts, I feel depressed.
Because I am looking at what I can do
Because I am looking at what I hope I can do
Because I am not looking at what God can do

Being understanding and considerate versus being autocratic
I’ve also come to accept that I cannot reach out to every single one person
I often find myself choosing to remain in my own comfort shell, in fear of being hurt when things don’t turn out the way I would like them to, especially when I’ve tried to
But I also know that's not the way it should be
And I should look forward to what God has purposed for me

What really makes a good leader?
What I realised that I can do, is with my limited small hands and energy, to show care towards whoever I can.
And what I do know is that through my little obedience, God can do greater things
And at the end of the day, I know that it’s not that I have achieved something, but because God enables me

I thank God because I guess I do know the answer to my frustration.
It’s a moulding process
It’s painful
I feel alone at times
But I guess God doesn’t mould clay with cement at the same time

Not being totally fluent in my thoughts, but I will be fine
I am sure, because my Father cares and what I need to do is to put down my defences and welcome Him to care for me so that I can learn better how to care for others