tried to slp but i cant

thought of songs to lead on wednesday cell... but nothing came to my mind

there's this thing in my heart that i.. or rather we..need to pray for youth fusion...

seriously seek God...

we need to pray like never before...



we desperately need to..

we must...

I know that you love me

And you chose the nails for me

Up the road of pain and suffering

Do I deserve this gift?



I know that you love me

And you carried all my sins

The shame that you bear for me

Do I deserve your gift?



*

Your love, your mercy, your grace

All you gave to me

All you gave for free



And your love and mercy and grace

All that sets me free

Cleanses all my sins

Thank you Lord for choosing me

*

i woke up to a pretty good dream this morning...



i dreamt tat i went for service

and when i entered the the cinema... it was already very packed...

then i finally found a seat...

but i was edged out again and again until finally i was edged to the last row...

from where i was standing... the cinema seems like a stadium...

i could not see the words of the powerpoint on the screen as it's too far from me (yes! tat far!)

and i could not see arlene (the wsl!)

all that is there is a voice leading us in worship...

we sang "How exellence"... it goes "Oh Lord our God, how exellent your name is... how excellent..."

ya tat song...

it sounded so majestic played by the worship team and the voices of the congregation that rang the hall were thunderous...

from where i stood...

i could see lots and lots of hands raised up towards God.... hungry hands (the hands reminded me of a can of worms.. haha.. weird)



ya..



it was such a beautiful picture...

hungry hearts responding to the father!



well.. it's not impossible for such a picture to happen in WAC

we can pray for it yea?

:)

it is really not easy running the road for Christ...

running the road to Christ...

running the road with Christ...



today's operation philip practice was not that fantastic...

i got pretty irritated with the slow and inefficient pace everyone was going at...

and furthermore this time round we are at a new place where we are paying for it...



i guess to a certain extend... i was expecting everyone to be at least a little prepared...

but on the other hand.. prob one week is too short a time frame for everyone to get the resources... given tat most of us are busy..

but still... i guess being inside a band would require us to do some homework too...



n this is not just something tat applies to operation philip alone...

i believe same goes for any musicians...

and actually, u can come to think of it...

it's even more essential for worship band members who are responsible for service's worship week in n out



self discipline...



on my way back from the band prac...

this thing abt self discipline keeps ringing in my head as i thot back on how i've grown in these few years in music ministry...

i keep asking myself..

will passion and love for God ultimately leads us to a passion and desire to push ourselves forward in terms of improvement?

or

our passion and desire to improve/ push ourselves forward serve as a form of response to God?



or to put it simple..

I do this.. cause i love God

or

i love God.. and because of my love for Him, i do this



actually maybe both are around the same bah? hahaz



think it comes hand in hand...

one thing i've learnt in music ministry these couple of years is tat u can't expect 100% commitment from everyone...

but then... with people who just come with the intention of fulfilling his/her responsibility... or low % of commitment... there would be slow or no growth...

so i guess it isn't tat much to expect a certain level of commitment/ responsibility in everyone...



which brings to my brief conclusion tat..



when we rouse up with passion and desire for God...

why wouldn't He want to use us?



don't we want God to use us?

i'm sure we do...



---

anyway... back to the prac

this is not good...

i can imagine the devil chuckling away as we went thru the prac...

the dis-unity... is there?

he whispered in my ear to "give up"

i really felt like doing tat...

then i was reminded of the verse shared on wednesday cell...Gal 6:9

oh man! it was like...

argg... sorry God... i'm sorry i'm so useless...



it is really not easy running the road for Christ...

running the road to Christ...

running the road with Christ...



the devil takes every opportunity to throw us off track...

today.. i almost did...

but i thank God i didn't



there's a need to pray for operation philip, and the church..

do u see this as a need or just another prayer request?

pray

oh ya

i m considering jogging at the sch track once a week after lessons..

either tues or thurs..

wonder if i will haf the discipline to keep it up

;)

i like the feeling of rainy nights...

not the part that i will get wet though...

and not the part that my movements are restricted...



it's just the feeling of it...

focusing on street lights and see how the uniform raindrops get illuminated

furthermore the weather is cooling...



juz now after i've sent dear home... she passed me this blue white stripe umbrella...

hee hee... with an umbrella in my hands, i feel armed!

so i walked past a few blocks n deliberately walk thru the part of the block where heavy streams of water or big droplets are falling down at one certain point...



yea... i walked right thru it... :P

the sound made on my umbrella is like "raining bullets"

hahaha... yea.. cheap thrill

but fun mahz...

it's as though i have exploit the extreme use of an umbrella (nah... i think Penguin in Batman 2 does that better)

hahahahahah...

*grin*



i feel like a mischievious boy..

aiya... i guess i am bah...haha :P



---



cell was great...

felt so much at home...

dunno why... juz those kind of home-ly feeling...

hmm... tat's the way it should be rite? hehez :P



yup... sharing was good...

Arlene! *thumbs up*

gee.. i guess everyone else deserves a thumb too! :) yep! u guys shared great too!



i really thank God for the way He has shown me His presence

yes... presence

it's something which i have been seeking for a long time... and something which i want to continue to do so...

even though certain things are still not really settled.. well... just leave it to Him... :)



---

sleepy...

everyone take care!

If you were arrested for being a Christian

would there be enough evidence to convict you?

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.

Proverbs 9:10



Jing wei ye he hua, shi zhi hui de kai duan; ren shi zhi shen zhe, bian shi chong ming.

zhen yan 9 zhang:10 jie

i've got a confession to make



i think i m starting to get a little annoyed with certain ppl and what they do...



time again... i asked myself again and again what can explain their actions or the way they do things...

i consistently pray God to answer the rationale behind the actions...



i understand some of them are trying...

well others are not...not the least trying



communication...

sensitivity...



everyone out there

just ask yrself if your way of communication, yr way of speech,

does it effectively communicates yr message across to ppl u wan to inform

or does it slowly build barricades between u and them?

worse still... unknowingly

and i dun think it's just refering to ppl who communicates with decidels(i.e. loud shouts) or storms(i.e. bad temper)

i believe it even happens to ppl who communicates with smiles... u build up yr barricade of smiles... get my drift?



guess it's a thin line between "smiley" fakeness and genuine concern

or sometimes out of genuine concern... we might even fake that smile



i m learning this whole issue on communication too...

maybe to put it simply....

do u consider other's ppls' shoes before opening yr mouth?

or do we sometimes just try to fit our size 9 foot into a size 5 shoe?



food for thought



...



i've got nothing much to say liao...

maybe this is something all of us have to learn...

and something that we've to help each other along the way...



this is something that i hope to learn from this 40 day fast...

i'm screwed...

damn screwed...



i took an elective which is the final module for those majoring in software engineering (i.e. java)

and i'm in e-commerce (i.e. towards web-development)

java is the subject which i barely made it for my year 1 and year 2 and i did not have any contact with it last semester...

initially i thot this module, web application design, is dealing with visual basic programming but it turns out to be java...

i'm alright with visual basic... sucks with java...



gladys and i sat in the classroom in a state of shock...

imagine the pace it was going at....

all the other students in the room had taken programming last sem and they don't even need lecture notes to come up with the java codes...

while both of us are frantically flipping the lecture notes for help...

i could not even catch the jokes about the codes made by the lecturer...

there's this girl who's sitting beside gladys

and when she asked that girl how good is she in prog.

she mentioned "ok lah"... and when asked abt her grade...it's AD

what in the freaking hell are these students in my class?

or am i a freaking student in a wrong freaking hell?



it was the most terrifying 1 hr i had for a very long time...



before that had final year project briefing today too...

the stress just kept mounting from that point onwards till i left sch after tat tutorial...

this sem's is the start of the FYP... it constitutes 20% of the whole project...

nex sem 80%

this sem's 20 is basically the itinery and "foundation" of the project

we are recommended to meet our respective supervisor at least once a week this sem

and twice a week nex sem...

and yep...

it's not as i thot it would be...

I.T is different from the other courses...

its final year project is individual work...

unless u haf a project which has a valid enuff reason to work in pairs (only)



seems like the load is really starting to pile...



anyway... back to that tutorial..

immediately after tat we went to see my mentor and my tutor

went to mentor, jane, and told her that the pace was too fast for us to catch and we were just caught shocked...

she told us to speak to my tutor and ask him what he thinks about the situation...

so we went...



we walked about level 4 and 5 classrooms of both blocks in search of mentor and tutor for more than half an hour



found my tutor...

we told him of our present situation

and asked what to do about it...

he also agreed that he was going at a fast pace as he assumed everyone in the class has taken Client Server Programming which was offered last sem for those who wanted to major in S.E.

we asked for help

and he agreed to help us try...



An addition 1 hour of private tuition for gladys and me in his office on wednesday...

and he just happened to hold position quite high up in the sch... where he has his personal own office in the top level.. scary



well...

i'm still pretty stunned by what happened

but i do pray that the extra lesson on wednesday will help us pick up...ya

if not... he will recommend us to appeal to drop the elective... and then we would haf to find another one or get overloaded nex sem...which i wouldnt want it to happen...

the thing i m not sure if he is doing is tat whether he is offering this tuition as a much longer term thing or just an one-off thing...

seriously... we need that extra help..

n this is outside his workscope..

so i m not sure if he will help us regularly...

yup.. this is something which we will ask him on wednesday...



...



i can't think of any other help other than God at this moment...

i remembered vividly this only prayer which came to my mind at that moment when i knocked on the door of my mentor and tutor's office



"Lord,

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

Courage, to change the things I can,

and Wisdom to know the difference...Amen"



yup...



yup...





it realised that most ppl, not all though, blog when something bad or negative happened...

and such blogs happened to be very long...

this entry just happen to be one of em

but i guess i juz have to entrust this matter to God and will just see what will happen in the days to come... :-/

Good nite friends...



Good nite God...

I told You I want You

I told You I need You

Today

Yet I stray away from You



I know that I want You

I know that I need to

Pray

Let your spirit come change me today



I'll tell You I love You

I'll tell You I need You

Everyday

From this moment it will be my prayer

i've got my new thermometer and red lanyard to be worn everywhere in sch...

it contains red cards which i have to shade a smiley face or a frowny face depending on my temperature on tat day

temperature needs to be taken in the morning and if i'm still around after 3pm.. i would need to shade another smiley or frowny face...

i will need to flash my thermometer in my lecturer's face and get a sticker to be pasted at any place in sight...

the atrium is fenced up... to get in.. the security guards will scan my forehead with this thermometer which flashes a laser red dot on my head as though i m about to receive a head shot... and i'd need to scan my student pass on every entry and exit...

when i leave sch.. i will need to paste the sticker onto this big white board at the bus stop or chuck it inside the bin



jailhouse rock

Cadeson PE-981

Paul's recommendation...

double chain..

cheaper than iron cobra... just as good or even better

some taiwan brand..

the double pedal version of this model is worth considering too...

Which Cartoon Cat Are You?



i thot i would be garfield...

though i was tempted to answer those questions which denote garfield...hehz