the Ex- Girl/Boyfriend

Hellooo, remaining few that still catch my blog (:

Like to talk about Ex-es today. Lately, I have been meeting up with all my ex-es, catching up and reminiscing the old times.

People ask me, how on earth am I still friends with my ex-es?!? Well, we ended on a good note, and moved on, but of course, no matter what happens, our path once crossed, and it would always be a level above just being friends.Yes, there are some that ended on a bad note of coz, so lets skip that, lest i tear my laptop in 2.

Some Ex-es of coz, lingers, and remembers the fine details you and her both shared. Your thinking, your likes and dislikes. Which I find pretty much intriguing despite the distance apart. Which is also one reason why some fall back to their ex-es, as end of the day, we run and run, only to realise that the person who knows you best was the first.

Don't habour any ideas on me, just what i come to realise. To be honest, life is comical in some sense. More like a screenplay, where we are mere puppets, following an Act. In the end, we all run back to the same starting point, just ending differently.

My emotions have been running on the highs lately, only to be down again. Which i should have seen it coming, you made use of me, come back and walk out, like its your house. Understandable why people get on the edge hearing of their partner's ex. Not about jealousy, but fear, of not knowing how much the ex know.

Does she know more than i do about my bf, is she better than me? All these questions pops in. If you can confidently answer that, I believe that fear would be non-existent.

Sure we can move on, building something new from start, but it's a tiring process no doubt, thus many fall back on their Ex, which all has been built, carrying on from there. BUT those who ended on a bad note, of coz, start rebuilding their fundamental blocks once more, TRUST.

I just resigned from my job. Confirmed that i am not cut out for desk jobs. B O R I N G~!
Moving onto a new job soon, and i do hope my love life would look better. Longest time SINGLE.... sheesh. never really been single, and its killing me. Guys, i know what you're thinking! no... its the companionship, having someone to be there for you, knowing she is someone you can rely on.
and being single these times, i discovered how lazy i slowly become, after being attached. The perpetual change, when i am single and attached. Now this issue has been sorted out, its time to embark on a new journey. Sorry for the wait, but i promise the wait will be worth-it.

Yes, you reading this post now (: Dress up fancy face, we are going out!!

Loves~

Life in Compare~

Another work week has past, and i must say i fared rather well in terms of juggling my social life and work. Life the banking industry, the maritime industry doesn't sleep as well~!

Attended One Altitude's one year anniversary party, and it was a blast. Friends, and alcohol. People have been saying One Altitude is too ATAS, too expensive. How is it ATAS? Dress code is simply Smart-Casual. Standing at 282m from ground level, you have a panoramic view of Singapore, with cooling breeze sweeping through every now and then!

Got to know couple of new faces, from different walks of life. We shared, but in moderation our past, and we laughed about it. The ability of creating a conversation with a stranger, and finding a link. I guess its pretty much socialising at a comfortable extent.

Girls will be girls, and bringing in their love stories. Guys are jerks, the usual. hahahhaha, obviously talking to the wrong guy about it. Let's not even get it started shall we?

I know that people are saying that I am living the "high life" now. But let me reiterate, I have been poor to the state I borrow from another to repay another. With a bank account balance never hitting above $100. I fucking slogged to get to where i am mind you~

I was in that stage, and i remember very well how it was like. I walked that path, and i fought hard to get out of it. I will never forget my roots, and those who aid me, and guided me through it, in which these are whom i call my close friends.

In retrospect, girls (not to sterotype) are looking for partners of certain status. Financial credibilty, a certain social status, and don't get me wrong, nothing absurb about choosing the best partner for yourself. But of late, there has been alot of judging going on. Wonder if its me coming back after half a year, or my eyes just awoken from a deep slumber.

I realise people who are well to do, tend to judge more than others, and in all honesty, it is very detestful. Just remember that when you are judging someone, 2 fingers are at them, and 3 are back at you.

How you and i look, God shaped it, and I am sorry if I can't fit into your circle of 'Eye-Soothing Category'. Perhaps u feel insecure about urself that you have to bring others down? There there, life's a bitch~ Which is why One-Altitude crowd irritates me at times. Not to make myself sound like a saint la. Don't believe me, get a Twitter Account, add random people, and observe~!

2 Months Single~ yet again, its friends who give you that constant push telling you're gona be just fine. and yupp, back up and everything IS just fine. I guess I got fucked by girls one too many times to understand and react. Mourning period simply gets shorter and shorter, and all will be at the back of my head as a beautiful memory we both shared.
Friends always say these, which never fails to make me wonder and later give a slap of reality. "why the fuck you sad, when he/she is not even sad and enjoying him/herself." True ain't it? and comes the second part: 'you deserve someone better la, it was a mistake to begin with'... Friends will say anything to snap you out of the misery your in.. Okie, my friends at least ((:

Nelson is Back~!!!

Helloo (: this space has probably collected sufficient dust to create a 'Dust Angel'.

Been a month since I have been back, and busy as a Bee. Work but of course, and not to mention the catching between friends!!

Found some time to spare, decided to pen down my thoughts.

Sailing, I feel to a certain extent has definitely changed me one way or another. It is so much different when i was a cadet, compared to now, an Officer. But one important lesson, that i finally learn, is that Money is not Everything~!!

I use to think, if by having money, life would be perfect, i mean what worries cld there possibly right? Now that i have money, i feel a void, no one worth my time to spend it with. There only that much material happiness that u can buy, before u possess everything. And time wld bring to your realization that a partner is better!!

Yea, the status back to being Single, hence the above rants! Shan divulge too much here~ Work has been pretty hectic, but i must say, i love the daily challenge, not to mention the Multi-Tasking !! woots~

Shall leave it as a short post, while i collate my pictures, and have em posted !!

But heres a song, to represent my state of heart from the moment.. 3 Years, and i am back into the same fucking shit hole once again, seems like i never learn la~

But yet again, I do not regret it (: Hope you guys enjoy the song, and immerse yourself into the darking meaning of it~!

"Cause it fucking hurts so bad, and the only thing i can do is; nothing~"

Space Bound by Eminem... (Above video for the Song)

We touch I feel a rush
We clutch it isn't much
But it's enough to make me wonder whats in store for us
It's lust, it's torturous 
You must be a sorceress 'cause you just
Did the impossible
Gained my trust don't play games it'll be dangerous
If you fuck me over
'Cause if I get burnt imma show you what it's like to hurt
'Cause I been treated like dirt before you
And love is "evol"
Spell it backwards I'll show you

Nobody knows me I'm cold
Walk down this road all alone
It's no one's fault but my own
It's the path I've chosen to go
Frozen as snow I show no emotion whatsoever so
Don't ask me why I have no love for these motherfucking hoes
Bloodsucking succubus, what the fuck is up with this?
I've tried in this department but I ain't had no luck with this
It sucks but it's exactly what I thought it would be
Like trying to start over
I got a hole in my heart, I'm some kind of emotional rollercoaster
Something I won't go on 'til you toy with my emotion, so it's over
It's like an explosion every time I hold you, I wasn't joking when I told you
you take my breathe away
You're a supernova... and I'm a

[Chorus:]
I'm a space bound rocket ship and your heart's the moon
And I'm aiming right at you
Right at you
250 thousand miles on a clear night in June
And I'm aiming right at you
Right at you
Right at you

[Verse 2:]
I do whatever it takes
When I'm with you I get the shakes
My body aches when I ain't
With you I have zero strength
There's no limit on how far I would go
No boundaries, no lengths
Why do we say that until we get that person that we thinks
Gonna be that one and then once we get 'em it's never the same?
You want them when they don't want you
Soon as they do feelings change
It's not a contest and I ain't on no conquest for no mate
I wasn't looking but I stumbled onto you must've been fate
But so much is at stake what the fuck does it take
Let's cut to the chase
But a door shuts in your face
Promise me if I cave in and break and leave myself open
That I won't be making a mistake

[Chorus]

[Verse 3:]
So after a year and 6 months it's no longer me that you want
But I love you so much it hurts
Never mistreated you once
I poured my heart out to you
Let down my guard swear to god
I'll blow my brains in your lap
Lay here and die in your arms
Drop to my knees and I'm pleading
I'm trying to stop you from leaving
You won't even listen so fuck it
I'm trying to stop you from breathing
I put both hands on your throat
I sit on top of you squeezing
'Til I snap you neck like a Popsicle stick
Ain't no possible reason I could think of to let you walk up out this house
And let you live
Tears stream down both of my cheeks
Then I let you just go and just give
And before I put that gun to my temple
I told you this

And I would've done anything for you
To show you how much I adored you
But it's over now
It's too late to save our love
Just promise me you'll think of me every time you look up in the sky and see a star 'cause imma

[Chorus:]
I'm a space bound rocket ship and your heart's the moon
And I'm aiming right at you
Right at you
250 thousand miles on a clear night in June
And I'm so lost without you
Without you
Without you

Taiwan

Hello you ((: Been nearly 2 mths since i left for the high seas, and damn do I miss Singapore bad. Okie, not really Singapore, but the people! So heres a little update, to those whom I haven’t emailed to!

Firstly, the name of my vessel is ‘Arisara’, some thai name! If u ever wondered why a ship is always refered to as HER, is cause her bottom is always WET. If u get my drift (: My ship is a container vessel, 200m in length. Small ship compared to my last if u were to ask me.

Well for this time around, i get to go places like Japan, Hong Kong, Taiwan, China. So far, I have been so busy getting accustomed to life onboard, the moment i have spare time, i would be sleeping my time away!! But of late, I decided to pamper myself on some Sight-Seeing (:

Keelung, Taiwan. As u have heard, the night life is awesome, not to mention the food. Imagine the night is 10 Degrees, and the entire stretch of road is filled with food stores, warm hot food, with their aroma whiffing through the midst of crowds! Something like Chinatown concept! Awesome much at sucha temperature. Given this in Singapore, singlet and slippers!

For the guys who wana know the beauty of the girls in Taiwan. All i can say is ‘DAMN GIRL!’ Its those kind u see in Taiwan Drama? Yea...

The food is heavenly, probably cause i have been stuffed with Chicken Curry, Fish Curry, Mutton Curry. But check it, this is ‘O-Luah’! Egg and Oyster plenty plenty, wads more the sticky stuff, OOooo!!!

Next went on to try this Crab Meat Soup, with Oily Rice. Scrumptious! A tinge of pepper and its no different from Shark’s Fin if u ask me (:

Then some Mutton Soup, the after taste that lingers between the nooks and crannies of ur tastebuds. The white one is fish soup, duno wad fish is that, but hell, its yummy much! The fish is tangy, very Q. Hah, pardon my adjectives, limited ardy!

Also, i did try their ‘Bing Tang Hu Lu’. Its basically fruits dipped with Honey. Tried strawberry and sour plum. Gosh, sugar rush~ Also, they have this cake, in Singapore we call it ‘Gu-Cai Queh’, here they call it Crystal Veg Cake. The texture is like eating ‘Xiao Long Bao’, except the filling is cabbage and some other Veg~ the size is like those pancake in Mr. Bean? Circle, look like hamburger?

Prior to gorging myself, went on some shopping for winter clothing. Scarfs and all. Busted USD 100 over in 4hrs. Yea, the 2 guys are Engineers from Thailand. Its different, how I am an Officer now. Spending power increases, and u simply just shop like theres no tmr!

In Japan bought myself a camera for USD 250, a lil treat for my hard work onboard. 12 Mega Pixel, with touch screen capabilities. Special Moments shall not be missed again!

Alrightie, enough with the fun. The harsh side, will eventually elude itself sooner or later~ ever had a moment, u haven’t seen a girl for 1.5 months? And i really mean, not a sight, much less the touch of the fairer kind? Oh yea, bet with u, CRAZY!!! Yet to turn gay, see I even bought this magazine. USD 15 for this nonsense, and there isn’t even any nudity!!! FML.. seriously wana seek a refund mann.

Of cause, the missing of my love ones. Sigh. The only form of contact is via email. And insanely expensive phonecalls and sms from overseas. 1 minute cost USD 1. But when ur in my shoes, money is the least of ur concern.

The fear of losing her, wondering what she is constantly doing, and the high anticipation of her mails, sms. Long Distance is perhaps one of the toughest tribulations a couple can undergo. So don’t say ur relationship is ‘Oh so perfect, she is the one, she means everything to me, without her living is futile’. Cause my friend, u haven’t gone through the shit I have been through, to see the side of reality! And yes, it applies to the gentlemen as well (:

Like how i told Gman, life is unpredictable, u might just lose something u hold dear, even before u know it. So live life to the fullest, and do things u wana do. Even if ur attached, doesn’t mean ur bounded to her, its ur life afterall, control it, and live without regrets. Be happy my friend, love urself first, before u love ur partner, cause thats where true love lies.

Not some guru in this department, just wana pen down my thoughts, and share with u guys. Beg to differ if u wish (:

Alrightie, hope u guys had a good CnY. And hope to see u guys again. Missing ya (: shall blog again, gona head out China. Ah Tiongs ftw!!!!!

FUCK CANT LOAD THE PICTURES.. GO FACEBOOK AND SEE!

Halloween's Baby (:

Halloween

comes 31st Oct, many get hyped up over what scary costumes to wear, make up.. and perhaps for girls, the most slutty attire that reveals as much as they possibly can, without being deemed as a whore!! a feast for the eyes of coz (:
Well, this year, on this date, I turned 23~!! yeah, getting old, and everything seems to be moving at a much faster pace.. Why, you may ask. Cause thoughts of work, starting a serious relationship and settling down, has intruded the playful mind.. Yet again, its my birthday, so hang loose, get crunk by the booze (:

Started of with a Thai Buffet over at Liang Court. Paying $26 per pax, we were given an awesome spread of chicken, mutton, lamb, prawns and curry! Scrumptious, and tantalising, isn't even enough to reiterate how good the food was.

Suan Thai Restaurant

Satay with Sweet Sauce

Sweet & Sour & Spicy FishDuno why Gman ordered this Pamelo Noodle nonsenseSpicy TofuMixed Vegetables with Oyster SauceSpicy BeefDuno wtf this is.. lol~Guai LanSpring RollsSquid with Oyster SauceThe Infamous Green Curry!Stuffed Fried Boneless Chicken

After dinner, I was presented with my bday gift. New street soccer shoes, Addidas Predator! Gorgeous, i know right!!! woots~

Soon after, no time wasted. It was time to bask in the Halloween Mood. People in their costumes, some queer, some awesome, and some just plainfully simple! However the case, the atmosphere sunk into us (:

HancockSlipknotKISS!I've no idea what this is, Star Wars?
Edward SiccorshandThe Golden Star Wars Robot [forget what's the model]

Took us a good 40mins, before reaching the Mrt Station. Then headed off to Serangoon Gardens, where the drunk preceding commence! Grey Goose with Kickapoo, a danger mix. Nothing nice, just cough syrup taste..
The culture of getting the birthday boy drunk is like a ritual that we practice.. and they sure did a good job at it! I had to play, 'Taboo' and win my opponent should i wana escape drinking even further. Before i know it, i was on the floor, being stripped down to only my briefs.

There, i was mutilated by the guys brutally. Whipped by my very own belt, ass slapped by slippers, and a beer bottle up my ass. Sigh~ Having alcohol in the system, I couldn't even fend for myself!

Then the expulsion of alcohol started. The rate I was vomiting, I swear, they can take down the Merlion, and let me be Singapore's new monument! Head throbbing and legs weak like a new born calf, i staggered to the car, and soon regained the strength to walk.

I was called a liar, faking my drunk. LOL. I cant blame them, I cheated on numerous occasion, but this time I was fucking gone, just that i recovered quickly. Having got home, I hugged the dustbin, and continued the 2nd part of puking.
It was an enjoyable birthday celebration, before i sail the 7 seas ((: Love you guys!! Nicholas, Darren, Guang Hao, Kelvin Chu, Jeremy, Don & Shalene!!!!

however so, i was disappointed by my another group of friends whom i hold dear, they seemed to have forgotten my birthday, when i was always there for them.. Well what can i say, not everything in life is smooth sailing, and taking one for granted is a case O'so common!

*PS wishing me at the stroke of midnight.. if only u were there ): nevertheless, u lit up my birthday with the brightest smile that could light up the darkest night!