thoughts from sf.

Army Half Marathon
Men's Open


lets show the boys in green what the men in blue have.








I love you pei wen.
be the one person support crew, the only person i need.

protect yourself.

necessity is the mother of incitation.



nothing more than a means to a better end,

its a small sacrifice we all have to make to eventually get to what we really want from life.

thoughts.

the fabled golden ticket is in my hand.
i'm taking it.






life has this strange thing about it. you ponder upon something that someone says, and you keep thinking, and wondering if there is another way to see it. then out of the blue, the answer pops up from the most unexpected places, or from the mouth of someone who doesnt even know that you are pondering about it. its like an answer to a question that you dont even ask.

and the answer that i needed, the opinion i couldnt see, was that i dont just want you in my life. i need you. when you dont need someone, then its the same as saying that you could live separate and independant lives, and not feel a need to have each other. something like "its nice to have you around but not critical". that shouldnt be the way it is, and i dont want us to ever go to that stage.

another thing i realised lately is that it is in difficulties that u realise why things happened as they did. i see now that i've been through all i have because it would one day arm me with the skills i need to face a similar or more challenging problem. i do believe that God wont let me face challenges he knows i cannot survive or overcome. and its an imperative that if he feels you can tackle a big problem, he'll arm you with the skills, characteristics and developed capabilities to deal with whatever it thrown at you.

i cant ever say to a full extent, how thankful i am for you.



much love.

messed up.

nothing good in this world ever comes easy.





time has this strange way of moulding the way you think, the way you act and react, and your perspective of things. i guess a lot of things have changed. no longer is the world the negative place it once seemed. yes, we can never eliminate hardships, troubles and problems from this world, and we shouldnt, but instead, look at it as a chance for the world, for the people around us, and for ourselves to see how we would respond. a test to the system - yourself.



i used to think i knew what love was. now i know that i dont. and i wont truly ever understand it, or at least put it into feasible logic, words and reasonings. but thats whats so magical about it. love is something common of all religion, race etc, but yet its still the exact same thing, regardless of how we see it. the same, but yet different.





anyway,

update on life:

1. SCDF life sucks. i dont really know how to put it nicer but its the most boring existence i've ever had. EVER. stuck in an admin job earning the lowest pay in the entire force but probably expected to do the most. its supposed to be a much coveted job. yeah now i get it. probably because no one wants to do it, and is running away from it, if u get it, youre pretty damn lucky. my only consolation is Lego, 5:30pm , fridays, and 7 Nov 2009.

2. i'm currently in penang at this time when i'm writing this post. taking a much needed break from the hooha of NS life. get to see my family, but it kinda sucks because i dont get to see pei wen and i'm on the last flight in, which means its off to bed, then work. dang blast. nvm. i have my Ironman and Icecream date next week to look forward to.

3. still waiting for SMU to get back to me. IF they're supposed to in the first place. i'm dying to get that letter of admission into SMU law. i'll go crazy if i get the place. lets see. i'll drop whatever i'm doing in the alpha office, try and do a handstand, roll on the floor and apply for leave. LOL. PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE SEND ME THAT LETTER!

4. linked to 3, mom and pops want me to apply to medicine in aussie. dang blast, it'll be well hard for me to get in there. coz i'm considered a local applicant. so there are limited places for us. messed up. especially IF i do wanna go to a better uni like UNSW or Monash. which means i gotta take leave to fly to aussie to take some exam. =P messed up.

5. u know, it really sucks when u see all your friends going to OCS and getting to do many things that you've always dreamt of doing. holding a gun, riding in a tank, an APC. donning field gear, going on endless treks into the night with your platoon, putting camo on. getting messy. getting promoted to 2LT, getting paid about 1200 a month. and eventually getting to lord over you if you end up as their underlings. so many wish they were in my job, i wish i was in their job. Trade please?

6. 4 months. 6 months till i've known you for a year and 2 to being together for half a year. it actually feels like i've known you for much longer like its been years. perhaps its the way you and i know each other so well. the way we're so comfortable with each other that we dont have to say anything to get the message across - though sometimes we both just want to hear it from the other. its only been 4 months, but we've seen each other through so much. or at least it seems like so much. i'd admit. it wasnt easy, it wasnt a stroll in the park, it wasnt a honeymoon. but it feels great everytime we make it past every little hurdle. because everything that has come in our way has only brought you and i closer, rather than apart. theres so much more i want to say but only to realise that its actually rather unnecessary for me to. because all i do need to say are those 3 words.


I love you.




to four and more.



Hobo.

title.

its been a long week.



i dont know what else to say.



i hope next week is better. but judging from the weekend forecast, hard call.





bummer.



i guess sometimes i surprise myself with the things i do. both in a good and bad way.

random ramblings of a resucitated mind.

i realise that in life,you'll always run into uncertainties, in one form or another. but at the end of the day, what matters is what you do about those uncertainties. whether you let those big unknowns rule your life, or whether you're going to face the problem and do something about it rather than let it run amok in your life. as in, be prepared for whatever might come. be it a plan, or a rough idea of what youre going to do. i guess it never hurts to think a bit more.


and another thing i realise is that life moves on. and whatever mistakes you make today, or the day before or whenever, you gotta learn to let go. as much as it may be the hardest thing to do. and as much as it might bug you like hell. you still gotta move on. life isnt stagnant, and so you cant afford to be and stay stagnant while everything else moves along.



anyway, new recruits here already. quite fun i'd say. but it kinda sucks to be stuck in the office.... i guess. lol. darned air con broke down that day =(

anyway.


ciao.

=D

11th March 08 - 107th SCDF Intake


i'll be taking recruits for the next 1 year 7-8 months. hopefully i get to become a sergeant XD




anyway,

life's been busy. if i dont stay in camp, i gotta leave the house at 6am. if i do stay in camp, i can sleep in till 730. oh well. results probably gonna be out next week. so gotta plan my stay in time table. see when asnu is staying in.

its camp break right now till next tuesday, when its enlistment. whoopass man.









you know, its been 8-9 weeks. and still i remember that night before i enlisted. the mixture between excitement and dread. the sweeping feeling of loneliness, separation. i remember what it was like having to say goodbye to you. having to be taken away. telling myself that everything will be better after i pass out. i remember hearing "you belong to me" on my stereo, and thinking about being able to see you once again.

8 weeks later, i'm listening to that same song and memories rush back.

the weekend dates.
the late night phone calls.
the fear of being caught on the phone after lights out.
the many many many smses.

its become a part of my life, a part of my memory, a part of the experience.

so thanks dear,

and happy 2nd month.

=)