guess sometimes in life, you do know you have to give up on something but you just give on hanging to it for a particular reason.

I admit it was more determined this time but at the same time, these few days seems to be the real test. memories suddenly flow back when encountered with videos or posts. I realized I have no motivations to meet new guys. somehow distant i feel.

seriously, what the hell am I doing? I know everything is going fine for them. and he alrdy made it very obvious. but still, there is just this bu gan xin, I suppose.

seriously this place is full of cobwebs. hahahahah.. gotta "relive" my blog..

It's alrdy sept 2011. 3 more months to go and it's gonna be the beginning of 2012. What have I achieved so far? at work, each day is like a battle. you have to brush up your survival ways, not to the customers but to your own colleagues. Just what an environment am I in? Customers turn out nicer compared to colleagues. Ha, what a joke. There're just too many backstabbing and badmouthing. Luckily there're still few good ones whom can keep me going in this shop, otherwise I guess it's only a matter of time I leave.

In life, I finally fang kai le. Like after so many years, I realized this time, it's really let go. It was easy this time round, I dunno why. But in a way, I'm glad too. At least I let go of it le. :)

after watching few eps of xia yi zhan, im having serious confusing thots on my mind now, at this time of the day.. last few eps, tears just flowed down like nobody's business.

when you knw the truth hurts, your loved ones will keep the truth from you to prevent you from getting hurt. but perhaps what they need is actually you to tell them the truth. at least they knw that they can be trusted.

-i realized up till now, i am still not determined enough. i still do miss you.-

why must ppl always cherish their loved ones only after something happened to them? many a chance, you dont get a second chance to cherish them.

Hello!!! It's 2011 le!!!

Start of a new year indicates a beginning of everything, be it for work, for relationship or for any other things you do in life..

I've decided to end the one and a half year wishful thinkings of mine and carry on with my life as it should be.. Without you around, it might be tough initially, but I know I can overcome it. Maybe then, I can live better without you. You'll always be part of me but it's time for me to open a new chapter of my life. :) thanks alot for all the memories you've given me. I cherish and treasure all the meet ups, the heart to heart chats, listening to my rants, advices given, the attention given.. Those were lovely memories and they'll always be. The hurts you gave will only make me stronger. At least I know those feelings were real, they weren't entirely wishful thinkings on my part. Though things din't work out the way it should be but to me, it's sufficient le. It's time to bid goodbye to those feelings and adjust them back to friendship between the both of us. I'm not sure how this friendship can continue like it was in the past. But I'll leave it to fate.

2010 has been a torturous year for me. 2011, please treat me better with more love and more blessings.

I'm glad and thankful I ended 2010 with the clique and started 2011 with them too. :)) I love you girls and guys too.. Hees.. It's been very long since I've met them. But somehow things just turn out the way it should be. Everything so naturally and amicable. Hopefully there'll be more but I doubt so. :(

Let's continue this year with a smile everyday and be kind to everyone. =)

Life seriously like to play tricks on us.. I thought things would be better, but least expected, it's been only few mths and it's starting.. I just can't use a neutral feeling to treat the issue.. Yet, I can't zheng mian cong tu also.. Sians..

2010's coming to an end soon.. It's another year le.. Time flies super fast man.. Gonna be older by 1 year again.. Promises were not kept.. I shdnt kept them to heart in the first place, I guess..

i said i wana forget him for dunno how many times le but yet i still cant do so. -.-lll
i dunno wad i wan la..

i've choose to let go... and i do knw tt that's the wise decision i've made this year..
im really tired.. tired of waiting for sth that i dunno if it will really happen..

when dreams and reality gets confused tgt, which wld u choose?
in the past, i chose to stay in the dream whereby i knw if i wait long enough, we'll be tgt..
but now, i just wish to stay in reality if it means losing u..

i shd be happy.. cux aft so long, i finally set my mind in doing so.

there's alot of time when i do sth, i secretly made a decision..
for the past three days, i've been giving a serious thot abt my feelings..
i've been too stubborn.. clutching on for a reason that might nt come true..
sometimes i wish i can be more unreasonable rather than too considerate..

finally after so long, after so many mths of saying and after wad had happened, i've decided to let go. i dunno how true those words will come true and i dunno how long it'll take.. for the past 6 mths, i've been living in illusion.. it all boils down to my stubborn character.. it's nt tt i cant let go, it's simply just tt i dun wish to let go.. dun wish to let go is cux i believe things might still work out.. but i dun really wish to be the one waiting again.. waiting for sth tt might or might nt happen is nt gg to work out.. it'll just hinder me moving forward..

i treasure our friendship alot and wish that it'll just stay this way ba.. a platonic friendship shd be wad the both of us shd have.. acting on impulse will ruin everything.. i knw i still love you but im gg to change this love for you to love for friends.. this way, our friendship will last and i guess all shd end fine =)

just finished watching 谈情说案
alot of feelings and thots..

posted this in facebook..
"很多事我不想说出来，也有会多事我不想再回顾，可能因为这样，身体就像有个开关，偶尔就会响，会提醒我不要再试第二次，不可以再有第二次。如果再有第二次，我怕我会承受不起"

i dunno wad i've been thinking for the past 1 mth.. i dun understand why i let myself sink in again.. there's alot of things i wun be able to rely on myself esp when it comes to relationships.. cux i will tend to flow with my feelings instead and really trust the other party.. but many a times my decision might be irrational..

i really wana keep my love for u deep down in my heart and carry on with my life.. but alot of times after i said so, and when i feel im able to do so, you came in and arouse my feelings again.. i hate myself for not being able to pull out.. i hate myself for falling inner and inner..

i have to set my mind and heart to do so now.. it's been a year le.. 够了.. maybe the timing wasnt right.. and maybe it will nv be right in the future..

finally met him again aft 6 mths.. acty shd be more than 6 mths ba.. but anw tt's nt the main pt la.. i dunno if the feeling's still there not.. but i was super nervous before i met him ytd la..
but he is still as sweet as before.. well..

perhaps it's really time to let go..

they say when u lost a chance, the 2nd chance will not be here again.
but if it comes back, will u grab hold of the chance or let it go again??
i think i let it go again when it came back to me for the 2nd chance..
but i wasnt ready to accept the 2nd chance.. not when there's so much of uncertainty in my mind..

maybe things will be different if i accept it..
but maybe things might turned out to be worsen too??

pegg, the only thing now is follow ur heart.. you've made the decision and u do knw how u really feel now.. even if the decision's hurting u but u knw it's wad u want, you have to accept it.. but always rmb nv nv let yourself suffer..

finally am here to blog..
hmmm... this is a little bit late but im 22 le!!! hahas..
well.. im really thankful for all the frens ard me.. =)) *huggs*


the 3 celebrations..

30th apr with cheryl, pikxuan and carmen..




they surprised me with the self-deco cake la.. tears almost flow down... thanks girls.. i really appreciate the effort..








2nd may with jiayi..










14th may with shihui, jiahui, singyin, kangqi and biru...















thanks for all the fun girls.. =DD

forgotten that i wanted to blog last night.. hahas.. -.-ll but anyway shall blog after i came back from celebration ba.. i'll be late if i blog.. hahas. =X

hmmmm... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
there were supposed to be more thinkings to pen down.
but suddenly everything just goes blank..
i seriously can confirm my feelings now..
he still surrounds my mind my heart...
it was only aft we went out, then i realized tt im nt yet over you..
and i hate the fact for it...
cux i knw there wun be any ending if i continue to clutch on to it...
im supposed to let go... but i dunno why i just kept comparing the both of them...

anw i guess i've been too tired recently..
kept hearing things that wasnt said..
work's not smooth..
everything seems to be wrong...

wo lei le..

*i seriously do miss you alot.. the feelings never changed... it's still as deep as previous.. it's been 4mths already.. i knw this path will be tough if i cant forget you cux i wun be able to accept anyone else... but for now, i dun wish to have anyone else besides you..

im tired.
i might give up soon.
i cant take it anymore.
maybe i shd just say goodbye.

PEGG 琪
2nd MAY
Optometry



LG ARENA KM900.
Digital Camera.
more tops.
more shoes.
boyfriend? hahas.
more cards? LOLs.
itouch.
watch.
jewelleries.
lose weight.
leg massager.

(to be updated)

-my wretch blog-

-Jiayi-
-Xinyi-

-DOPT3B21-
-HaoJin-
-Qinghui-

-angie-
-binz-
-BiRu-
-Ellekay-
-Jiahui-
-KangQi-
-Marssh-
-MeiKian-
-MinHui-
-MuiLing-
-PekChoo-
-QianHui-
-qingqing-
-Shan-
-Shihui-
-SingYin-
-Sylvia-