I Told You I Was Trouble, and You Know That I'm No Good

Today was the first day to feed the Aquasaurs. So I got out their package of food an immediately freaked out.

Do you see why?


WHEAT.

Wheat is the second ingredient in the food.

Do triops eat wheat in their natural habitat? I DON'T THINK SO. Did they eat 350 million years ago? AGAIN, I DON'T THINK SO.

Of course, this sent me in a tailspin of a panic attack, including breathing into a paper bag because what! if! I! touch! the! wheat! I! can! not! touch! the! wheat! argh!

After smashing the two pellets into a powder (with a metal spoon and a glass bowl because I! will! not! touch! the! wheat!), I sprinkled the food in the aquarium and waited....


... and finally saw a triop feeding. (Look in the center of the red box -- I drew a red box!)

I think they have gone all cannibal on each others' asses already. Last night I counted eight of them alive, this morning I can only see one. ::shudder:: Gross.

Can't You See This is the Land of Confusion

Today is Aaron's birthday.

Unfortunately, he's out of town so ::sigh:: we'll celebrate when he gets home.

This morning I had the delightful opportunity to go to Alicia's home and meeting Amy, who is visiting family in town.

Miss N, Darwin and Bea

You know, anytime you get an opportunity to meet a fellow web log writer, I highly recommend you do it.

I've known Alicia for years; I've been reading Amy's site as long as I can remember. Both ladies are incredibly nice and calming. Which is great for my hot-headed, flying off the handle cursing-ness.

I should be having grown-up playdates like today more often.

You've Been Thinking and I've Been Drinking, We Both Know that it's Just Not Right

Anytime Aaron gets sent on a business trip, I get my panties in a bunch and start acting all sensitive.

Being a girl totally sucks sometimes. Damn motherfuckin' hormones.


This weekend we set up Griffin's Aquasaurs.

Which is really a fancy pants way of saying triops, which have three eyes (ewwww), a forked tail (gross), 140 legs (nasty) and molt ::shudder:: multiple times in their short life span.

You know how some people have sensitivities to words like moist or panties? Mine is "molt." ::shudder:: That word is disgusting.

Anyway, we set everything up Saturday to achieve the proper temperature (because, you know, keeping creatures that have been around for 350 million years requires Very Sensitive Temperatures) and placed the egg/nutrient package in the water Sunday.

This morning we already have microscopic triops flicking about in the container.

Little white orangish specs spazzing around.

Having boys rocks.

There Must be Some Kind of Bad Connection

"So I finally cleaned out all my underwear drawers..."

"That's nice."

"And now all my panties fit in one drawer..."

"Great."

"So what am I suppose to do with my panties that are now too big? Throw them away? Use them as rags? I certainly can't donate them to Goodwill..."

"Save them."

"Huh?"

"Save them."

"Why? In case I become a massive fat ass and gain the 120 pounds back? NOT HAPPENING."

"No, in case you get pregnant again."

"Oh. THAT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY."

Live Those Dreams, Scheme Those Schemes

While running errands yesterday, the boys and I stopped at a quilt store to look at some 30's reproductions.

The boys both freaked because they wanted fabric. Darwin was grabbing fabric by the bolts, and Griffin was carrying five bolts around.


I finally made them narrow their choices down to two each (Darwin chose the "raindoes" and bugs, Griffin got the yellow circles and orange stripes), purchased some fat quarters and figured I'd make them some little artist drawing cases.


And now a couple of corners of our home, courtesy of the Birthday Booty...


Cha-Cha-Chia, soaking in the sink...


... and Lego Aqua Raiders.

Oh my, the obsession is Out Of Control.

Go! Go! Go! Go Shorty, it's Your Birfday

So this is what five looks like...


Five. Five. That's a whole hand.


Five year olds play with Legos. All sorts of legos. And they build big, elaborate five-foot buildings with secret compartments.

Five year olds are also completely obsessed with Creepy Crawler Workshops, secret disguises and proclaim, "Dude! We were totally robbed!" while playing video games.

Five year olds also have elaborate rock collections, one for indoors and out. Washing rocks is a favorite activity.


Five year olds are also completely obsessed with food. Gluten-free food. We've tried stuff with wheat, sneaking it at preschool and experiencing the belly aches. We love gluten-free food.

Five year olds help cook dinner, make cupcakes, muffins and madeleines.

Five year olds particularly love madeleines, their new personal favorite.


Five year olds curl up on their mommy's lap, and lovingly whisper, "Even though I'm five, I'm still your baby."


Happy fifth birthday Griffin. I'll try to let you continue to grow up, as long as you hold your end of the bargain by still being my baby.

Is it Any Wonder I'm Not Crazy, is it Any Wonder I'm Sane at All

In my (short) recount of Griffin's birthday party yesterday, I failed to mention a very important aspect...


... the discussion of oh my goddess, did you see Britney Spears shaved her head?!

You know, we had to discuss the Important Topics of Life.

Oh, how I wish I had more interesting things to discuss. ::sigh::

Actually, I am needing some help on something...

We are nearly past all the birthday celebrations, which means I can refocus my goals for the year. One of my biggest goals to complete is to finish the entry room.

On Thursday, I spent some up close and personal time with an exacto knife and hot, hot water to get all the remains of the blue tape off the windows.

The next step is to figure out the flooring. Anyone know of a good floating floor that won't look like wood (because we have wood floors under the carpet that we hope to refinish one day and I don't want to jack with two kinds of wood floors, hello, OCD) but something a little more formal (for lack of a better word) than cork?

Also, (because, you know, that's not enough to ask), anyone know of a good fabric line to make new valances for the entry room and new curtains for the living room and a chair cover? The entry room is a sage green and the living room is khaki with dark red accents, and I'm thinking of making funky patchwork. I was thinking of the new Flea Market Fancy color scheme, but the colors don't seem to be quite right.

And thanks for the requests for the gluten-free strawberry cake! I'll post the recipe in two to three weeks, if that works out for everyone.

Hello Little Boys, Little Toys

Griffin's birthday party was great. Lots of guests, lots of fun, and so glad it is over.


We had a jam-packed weekend, between having grandparents in town for three days, making gluten-free vanilla cake with whipped strawberry buttercream, the big party, going swimming and taking the boys to a toy store.

Which, of course, Griffin wants to do again! and again! and again! and again!

I need some major recovery time.

Unfortunately, I'm not going to get any. We are headed to the allergist and some possible blood tests for the boys.

::sigh::

I Said What What in the Butt

This morning, Griffin took it upon himself to poop in his goodnite and not tell me.

Instead, he went straight to the bathroom and spent over 20 minutes in there. As I walked past, I smelled an awful smell and checked on him, only to find poop streaks down his legs, up his back, all over the walls and smeared into the floor.

He turns five in five days. I can't decide if I'm sorely disappointed that he pooped his pants or ecstatically happy that he tried to clean it up himself.

I Catch a Paper Boy, But Things Don't Really Change, I'm Standing in the Wind, But I Never Wave Bye-Bye, But I Try, I Try

So, Griffin's birthday party is Saturday.

And my in-laws are coming into town tomorrow, their plane lands at 8 a.m.

::blink, blink::


So, I'm going to go work on the house now.

Your Mouth Was Made to Suck My Kiss

I'm a holiday whore.

I am well known for going overboard for all holidays. And it's not just gifts either. Cards, food, you name it, I exceed everyone's expectations and have complete excess.

Valentine gift from Amy

This year, I'm working towards holding it back a little.

First of all, it's absolutely exhausting going overboard for everything. It is stress for the mind and the pocket book.

Valentines I made for Griffin's preschool classmates.

No one really benefits from the excess anyway. It's just more stuff. And most of it, in the past, has been prepurchased items to boot.

We are all loving the handmade items, they mean so much more.

Little felted heart card from LLA.

So this year, we are keeping Valentine's day rather low key around here.

Handmade card from Aaron, hidden under the computer this morning.

I'm going to make Aaron and the boys some handmade valentines (no gifts this year).

Dried clay heart brooch, made by Griffin.

And after dinner we'll have some strawberry sorbet.

And enjoy each others' company.

And the World is Made of Energy

First of all, yes, I'm a total PBS junkie. Absolutely.

Second of all, yes, I'm completed interested in anything that has to do with working on your home, especially if it teaches me how to do it myself.

Third of all, I love all things helpful to the environment. And the total notion of not all only reusing and recycling what you no longer need in your home, but reusing other materials to put into you home is just plain smart.

Which is why I am so very excited This Old House started a new series last weekend, doing a green renovation of a home in Austin.

As Aaron and I were watching the show (which he normally doesn't do, as His Domain in the home is mowing and dealing with electrical wires), I was pleasantly surprised that the family was adding just enough space. Noting grandiose, just enough to make life comfortable for everyone.

Which actually sparked a debate between me and Aaron.

I'm a big believer in use what you have, only buy what's necessary. The two things you can't have too much of are books and music.

Aaron's a big hoarder. He saves everything. Empty boxes. Newspapers from college. Stickers that come on cd cases. Twist ties that hold toys in the boxes. Oh, how I wish I were kidding.

One of the things I hope to accomplish this year is turning Aaron's "cave" into a family office.

[When we were dating, we happened to catch an episode of Oprah that had the author of "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" on the show. He claimed that men need their own space, something to call their own and it was dated back to the cave man. I told Aaron as long as we didn't need the space, he could have a room as his cave. Fast forward ten years later, and guess what, we need the space. Add insult to injury, his "cave" is nothing more than a glorified storage room, which occupies the second largest bedroom in the home. He literally can barely open the door. I should take a photo. It is horrible.]

There's a lot of work involved to do such a project. For starters, I have to clear out the basement and have at least one more garage sale. Once space is made, Aaron has to start moving his stuff to the basement, organizing and keeping only what is necessary. And that is just to get the room cleaned out.

Anyway, the debate that was sparked was the difference of living comfortably versus leaving large. If money were no object, I would want a comfortable home with an open floor plan, a large kitchen, a bedroom for each child, a family office and a good-sized yard. Aaron would want a five thousand foot home, with a room for each imaginable project, set on ten acres.

Of course, the first thought that popped in my mind was how much shit would he cram into that house? Because, seriously, we have a lot crammed into this one.

Snow day, no school. Woo hoo!

Where's the line of living comfortably versus living in excess?

Working in a Factory Eight Days a Week

Oy. What a weekend.

For starters, I'm pretty sure I figured out what was causing my migraine. Aaron started us all on some health supplements that we were not suppose to be allergic to. After taking it for two weeks, I had my six day migraine. Then we ran out and the migraine went away. We got more in Thursday and Aaron gave me a double dose that night. I woke up Friday with the migraine. So, obviously, it was contaminated.

I did some rooting around in their website and found they consider the supplement to be gluten-free, by an organization's standards -- and I've never heard of the organization. Huh. Go figure.

In any case, I am refusing to take that stuff and Aaron's really offended. Men. Gah. You'd think he'd be rather thankful for the financial savings.

Friday night the boys had Their First Sleep Over Ever. And they loved it. Especially Darwin, who kept screaming teeeeeep ooooooobeeerrrrr!! teeeeeep ooooooobeeerrrrr!!


All the boys did really well (expect for the excited! screaming! and! the! excited! screaming!).


I even had a chance to get caught up on some stuff -- and I even have my box ready to ship later today for my mini swap (I know, a week late; but my swapping partner and her family have been ill so back off, we can change our deadline if we want). I took photos last night in horrible light, hoping for better light this morning. Well, that didn't quite work out so well as we are getting rain! Followed by sleet! Followed by two to six inches of snow! Gah.

And I posted the gluten-free chocolate truffle cake recipe up on my recipe site, for those of you who are interested. Yum.

And my very good friend, Marsha, did my blog conversion this weekend too. Thanks Marsha! You totally rock!

Okay, I think I need a nap now.

I Don't Mean to Walk Around in Circles, Walk Around in Circles, Walk Around in Circles, Walk Around in...

Woke up with another motherfucking migraine. Dragged the children and my ass to the chiropractor, was not subluxated and it did not fix the migraine.

Holy fuck on a pogo stick, I am not doing well today.

In anycase, I have high hopes for a work in progress.


Since Griffin insisted on prepurchased birthday crap, I'm making his valentines.

See, I'm Wise Enough to Know When a Gift Needs Givin'

I've often said before, I'm amazed how people find me.

For instance, here's a list of searches from the past few months...

foot fucking

"my brain aneurysm"

ruby boobie

leg amputee pretenders in jeans

album art storm trooper doggy style

burnt orange minky blankets

learn to lean wit it rock with it

sensory behavior oral fixation

"closed captioning"

free pattern baby blanket using minky

free bathroom sample floor plans for college photos

ringworms in the head

what are the national symbols of egypt

"gluten free root beer"

horney's big boobs

www.things you never seen before

appropriate behavior is called what?

"frozen pureed winter squash"

Marthafuckingstewart

"plain batshit crazy"

what to say in a post cards to your girl friend

reasons why we suffer

clot behind eyeball

Holy hell ya'll. Those are some fucking insane searches. And they don't include any of the music searches that find me. Because seriously? Those would go on for pages.

I think my favorite is album art storm trooper doggy style. Because, hey, I'd like to see some Storm Troopers going at it doggy style. On an album. Wouldn't you?

What is, perhaps, more surprising than weird searches is that people are starting to contact me. And not people like reader-people or other-blog-writing-people or people-with-gluten-sensitivity or crafting-people but other people.

Like the PR person from a company that makes scrapbooking software. They contacted me to try their software and then "mention" it on my site. Or this morning, a person from a company that makes gluten-free prepackaged mixes (including ones for easy bake ovens), letting me know such a product was out there.

And really, I don't quite know what to say to these. I'm really surprised that anyone reads my verbal sewage that I oh-so-smartly post on the internet and feel compelled to respond to me.

And thank you for doing so.

Pretty soon I'll be able to check off world domination off my list of things to do.

Oh, and internet? If you are interested? I've got a gluten-free cookbook for people with multiple food sensitivities in the works. We may need to work on that title though.

At First When I See You Cry it Makes Me Smile, Yeah it Makes Me Smile

We have been below the freezing point for a few weeks, but yesterday we got a heat wave.

It was 57 degrees.

I ran outside, took my shirt off and ran screaming around the backyard.

It's really difficult to take pictures of yourself running and shirtless. So sorry. I don't have any to share.

But the boys had a blast.


And I managed to do some gardening. And take tons of pictures. Lots more on flickr, including the dilapidated greenhouse and the spring greens coming up.

And I think the high today is only suppose to be 22. Damn Mother Nature. I'm tired of the below freezing temperatures.

Boys With Small Talk and Small Minds Really Don't Impress Me

While watching The Dresden Files....

"Was that character's name Laura?"

"The one Dresden is trying to impress?"

"Yeah."

"Yep."

"Why is it nearly every show on the SciFi channel has characters named Laura but no one else does?"

::silence::

"Do all nerds covet girls named Laura?"

"Yeah baby, I'm living the dream."

Oh My, My, Oh Hell Yes - Honey Put On That Party Dress

Yesterday I got to attend our postponed soiree... Alicia hosted the Kansas City area bloggers (or at least, all we know of) for an afternoon of lots of food, laughing and fabric swapping.

Alicia, Estea, Lori, Michelle, and Amy (not pictured: Jenny and me) (Hannah didn't make it, and she was missed)

Of course, when I say "food" I mean "Hey, tell me what's in that." "That looks good." "How does it taste?" "How does it feel in your mouth?" "GOOD GOD, I MISS WHEAT." ::sob::

Okay, I don't actually miss wheat. But I do miss being able to eat everything. Damn it.

So what happens when you get seven crafty bloggers together (besides eating tons of food) for an afternoon? Well, you don't get pictures. That's what you don't get.

We were too busy laughing and swapping fabric (Jenny brought her entire stash, and we all left with huge bags of stuff) to take pictures. Oops.

And we are most certainly doing this again. Absolutely. And without the kids again, if you don't mind.

Cause I've Been Acting Like Sour Milk Fell on the Floor

Finally.

Dude, I know.

I finally managed to get out to my chiropractor this morning, got adjusted from being subluxated and the migraine is finally gone.

Ah, subluxation. One of the veins of my existence. And why many doctors have previously thought I've had a brain aneurysm. Being me is so much fun.

Anyway, migraine: gone!

Obviously, someone else thinks he's a princess too.

Now for the weekend...

I have to finish my kids swap items (it's killing me not to share what I've done, I'm so damn proud), go to a little soiree Sunday (and make something yummy for it), start planning the garden projects, run a bunch of errands and prepare for taxes.

Oh, taxes. With all our medical stuff taxes are a complete pain in the ass.