change a bit..BM turn

hi~
haha..ok now for this post,I would like to write in Bahasa Melayu.. hehe..
just to let go everything in my mind~

untuk pertama kali,ejat menulis dalam bahasa ibunda ejat sendiri.. skang ni,ejat hanya hendak menulis,apa saja yang ejat nak tulis.. secara jujurnya,sejak kebelakangan ni, ejat mmg slalu tewas kepada sakit yg menyakitkan.. dan bagi mereka yang rapat ngan ejat,mereka slalu risaukan ejat..maaf,takde niat nak sakitkan ati awk2 semua..da sakit,nak wat camne..dan seiring jugak dengan kedatangan sakit2 ni semua, ejat selalu didatangi mimpi2 buruk dan mengarut..melibatkan diri ejat dan mereka2 yang ejat sayang lorh..mcm sesuatu kan? kdg2 prasaan sebegini membuatkn ejat terasa masa utk ejat da singkat..entahlah,perasaan je kot..

dan ejat jugak mengalami krisis diri yang semakin menebal dan kronik..bagi sape yang mengenali ejat,dorg akan fhm la..ejat mmg jenis suke memendam,mendiamkan diri, bersabar dan selalu mengalah..tp kdg2 bile ejat wat macamtu,ramaikan yang ambil kesempatan..bukan la ejat merungut,tapi ye la,kdg2 ejat rasa tension ya amat pulak..

bila ada benda yang melibatkan hati perasaan,ejat mmg tak dapat nak tenangkan diri.. in fact,ya,I'm sensitive..so,please, mind ur manner when with me.. kalo nak cakap hal cinta dan kasih sayang pulak,erm.. compilcated sgt.. with my ex,my current luv n me,myself.. i wish i could share this but no one suit..so let it be..haha!

performance study ejat sem ni,sgt2 teruk! ejat ta dpt nk ckp camne,but I'm sure this sem is my falling era~! urgh,ape la masalah aku ni...=.=

kwn,herm, ya,ejat ta tahan dgn prangai kwn2 yang pentingkan diri.. frankly speaking, ejat BENCI org yang rasa diri dia betol, tanak dengar nasihat org lain,ego, feeling2 'diva',takda sensitivity dan cakap besar! kalo stakat skit2 ejat leh trima,tp kalo da byk sgt,rase sgt2 annoying,becoz later on,ejat yg tension~!! dan lagi satu, ejat bukan jenis yg ckp lepas, dan ejat kalo rase perlu,ejat akan akan ckp elok2..but y? sometimes org ta wat bnde yang same kat ejat..haha,ntahla~

so ejat plak nanti akan berpindah rumah,oh shit! benci sgt! tak sukee!! ejat da slese kat sini(slesa kah?)..last2 kne pindah..mmg la nak pndah ,tp tolong la bagi mase sikit wahai AGENT RUMAH BANGANG!sial tol..

dear lecturers, tolong laa! jgn mengajar sebab nak duit ok! ajar tu elok2 sket..dan tolong la,jangan pilih kasih! ni university,bukan sekolah lagi,plajar2 kesayangan? bullshit! kat university ni, mmg tak boleh nak pilih kasih, dan sdarlah,ramai yang memerhati..bile ditegur,melenting plak kan? sdangkan plajar kesayanganmu itu terang2 la syaitan ya amat! dan kamu dengan mulut kamu yg sial tu lecturer,boleh pegi mati..phm? benci doe! arap ko berambus cpat2,,ko dpan aku,bile mintak tolong,amboih, SOPAN ye..tapi blakang? cam lahanat! ko ngan student sayang ko bole pegi mati..

ade lagi nak tulis,tapi memandangkan mase kat cc ni da nak abes,ejat hentikan..hehe..
till next time!

the only beginning

I understand that I'm a different person now..well,people do change. What I can say now,I'm a bit stressful right now.. for some people,I'm a soft-kind-hearted person,however not everyone know that I'm a person with high remembrance and I can be an appreciative person, or a vengeful person..
for a situation right now, all the things happened around me lately were caused by me..I can't stop blaming my self..ya,I'm annoying,I admit it.. Right now,I'm the new ejat,it's just a slight different from the old one.. the only different is my appearance,my attitude..but inside,I'm still the same..
People around me keep using me,n I know that too..People be nice with for some reasons.. It's something for something..
When I was young,I learn that I have to respect everyone,in order to be respected.. My parents taught me to be nice,humble,talk nicely and so whatever thinggy.. ya,till now,I do the same,but no one gonna do the same way I does..
To be honest, I hate that..I need a sincere frenship,relationship and partnership..
I dunno how long I'm going to be like this,but I can see I'm dying because of this..
several people will come and accuse me for something that I didn't do.. I'm trying to take care and comfort everyone,but no one understand.. Now with the mysterious illness with me,I can't deny I'm stressful..the only person that I have is only ejal.. ok,ejal is special to me..He always there when I need someone.. For now,he's the only one I trust and believed.. I see his sincerity.. Now,the other problem is about ejal too.. I know,I'm just a burden to him,but still,he's there for me.. and I know,not all with us, there some against us.. that's y I told him, I didn't give any profit or advantage to be fren with, but he deny it..He told me,stop blaming myself, stop thinking bout all dat stuff.. and the way he treat me,to be honest, NO ONE ever treat me like that before.. and I can't stop my tears when I can do nothing to help him when he's in trouble..ejal, thanx for becoming the colour of my life.. u r now one of them who I will never forget till the end of time.. =)