Ok, this post is here because i don't like the feeling of being shot in the dark and die without knowing why. Somehow i feel that i'm being seen as a back-stabber or some psychopath who is attention-deficient who tinks too much.

Well, if you tink i tink too much, then i tink you tink too much.


Here's the thing. We had dinner. Wf told me abt the other points of view. It is no bitching session. Its just PART (geddit, part) of wad we chatted abt. Ok, here's my point of view. Whether you see this or not, i dun care.

It's true that i was unhappy over some stuff during the tw trip but to me that was never an issue. What's more, a few days after the trip, i went for a camp. I had great fun. I can't wait to embrace my new life out there waiting for me. So do you seriously tink i still remember wad the hell happened? So i never rly raise this issue up with anyone.


Ok, But when you go out with someone and this person ask you directly in your face or someone called you and asked you specially: What did you think of your trip? Do you tink its fun?

So how am i to answer?

Hem and haw thru the ENTIRE convo? Or only say how smashing and fantastic the whole thing was when you dun rly tink so?

Well, i suck at lying and i see no need why i need to. And in a conversation, you just talk. Well, so i just said how i feel.

Simple as that.


And if you tink that the whole chups issue is a breach of trust, well, here's wad happened. I admit, when i first heard about all the crap abt how bad a person chups was, how she bad mouthed me, i totally buy it. I mean, its convincing. It's abt ME! So i took part in agreeing that chups was perhaps not that trustable. My opinion of chups changed. I admit. I'm not afraid to say so. I did not like chups at that point of time. I did talk abt you chups.
(sorry, chups (:)

But there's TWO sides to a coin. After some days, i thought abt it and i couldn't just agree with the mere testimonials of someone else. I mean, i don't like grey areas. To me, it's either white or black. It's either i like you or i don't. I'm sorry if i seem inflexible, but that's the way i am. I can see you for everyday for 5 days and i still can't remember your name or i can know you for a long time but still can't get your eye-candy right. Well, sorry, i can't really bother, you just don't interest me that much. On the other hand, there are pple whom i want to know what you've been up to and keep in touch with you and your life.


So to get rid of this grey area, i clarified with chups whether she did bad-mouthed me before behind my back. Well, and just like wad normal logical adults do, i asked, i got an answer. And yep, she's innocent. Even maybe she did say smth unpleasant but it's not with malice. And surely, such an act is not that unforgivable. So i enquired her abt the whole matthew issue, i need to know what is her point of view. I need to know what kind of person she really is if i'm to remain a friend of hers. So mainly, wf, chups and me met up for dinner. And that's all. There is no any clandestine meeting sessions to tok abt anything. Anyway, after i heard her side of story, i gave mine. Which is what i had heard abt her.

All i gave was an account of what i heard. If you tink that makes me a back-stabber, fine! that's ok. There was no malice nor slander in wad i said. I can swear upon my heart, my life, as well as the lives of pple whom i hold more dear than my own which are my parents, sis and dog that i did not say anything bad or demeaning untruths abt anyone. I despise hypocritical pple who bad-mouthed others and I AM FONG MIN YI, NOT SOME LOW LIFE-FORM who spends all my time talking abt other pple. So if you're such a scum, well to quote: get out of my elite uncaring face.

Seriously, i've much better stuff to do than harp on old stuff and talk about you. I'm busy handling SIX kids tuitions, while going to hk and camps, while trying to meet up with friends and family. It's not easy, i tell you. My tutee's moms send me emails asking for a lesson plan. I machiam haf to work out a proposal. They demand results. If i can't show any, i'm out. And my mom's been giving me shit on why i'm not at home for dinner 6 days out of the entire week.

Well, so after i gave a fair and unbiased account of what i heard, I HAF NO CONTROL OVER WHAT OTHERS TINK OR FEEL OR WHAT THEY WILL SAY OR HOW THEY WILL REACT!!

I'm a human. Not god. Geddit?


When i heard abt how some old zhss pple ask abt this, i'm like wtf?! I din even tell anything to my grp of zhss frens. If my speech alone can sway so many other grown-ups capable of their own thinking, well, then i must say, i'm rly proud. ha. I shld start persuading others to vote me to be the next prom queen.



Ok, I admit i may have not have handled everything in the best possible way. Or that i may haf talk or wrote stuff without tinking properly and without tinking of the consequences. But honestly, i din tink that far far off. Its like wth!

I'd forgotten and put down the entire issue. Wad's the issue by the way? I couldn't rly tink of any. Then until a few days ago, wf suddenly decided to come clean with plyn. Isa and i were horrified. Why bring things up again? Ok, but i accept that they will be seeing each other very often so i respect her decision. Just say wadever you want and do as you deem fit.


So they had an amiable woman to woman talk, from wad i heard. Becos there were some stuff which were supposed to be sworn to secrecy was revealed. Like wth! secrecy my foot! blah! tok abt breach of trust! Then wf spent 1 hour persuading me telling me that she's done her best and now it's my turn. Ok, i dun really understand wad's going on at that point of time so i tried to set things straight, i tried to patch things up and make everything right again.


I sent the email. I sent it with sincerity and with goodwill. WITH HOPE. WITH FAITH! I sent it because i care because i value this friendship. And NOT out of some guilty conscience or wadever. Damn it! I spent a whole damn load of effort on it. It has a theme some more sia... LOTR! my favourite show man, but apparently, that was worthless to some's eyes. Even the email begged to be replied, but unfortunately it was too worthless to be even acknowledged. Basic courtesy anyone? Just for your info, i checked my inbox after i woke up, after i had lunch, before i had dinner, after i had dinner and before i sleep. I checked my phone every 30 mins. This cycle continued until monday night. When i got a reply thru wf. Guess wad, sms are rly expensive nowadays, typing proved to be too mentally exhausting.


But that's ok. I can accept that. So i ate more humble pie and send a heartfelt sms worth 4 msgs. I need a closure. I couldn't keep hearing stuff from a filtered source. I was tinking if stuff cld get settled by that day, things cld go back to before. We cld go biz rag tgr. It'd be good to know some pple before sch starts. But yeah, i was stupid. I was foolish enough to tink that perserverance will get you somewhere.



Ok, that's good, i got a closure worth a few words.



Please get this right. There is absolutely no need for me to try so hard at all. I did not need anything from you. I owe no one nothing. I did everything out of goodwill, with sincerity and with hope. I am ready to accept different opinions, to admit my mistakes, to apologise, to eat humble pie. But if in your opinion, even after knowing me for a long time, you tink i'm just some low-life back-stabbing scum, well, good for you. I haf nothing to say. It's your own decison. I respect that. Time will show. This post is to set the record straight, to satisfy my desire to leave the black/grey area.

I'll never comment on anything about this ever ever again. Because, i don't really need all these shit. I haf spent enough tears and pain on all these. Because I haf done my best. I haf done more than what i should and what i wanted when nobody cared about this. Do you tink i'm not tired? I haf put this down so many times only to see things get raked up over again and again. I'm utterly sick of being the one who keeps trying when there is no need for me to. So this marks the end.


This blog was started back in j1 and lasted till now. This blog shall die. Because a part of me died today. There will be a new one. I'll post the address up shortly. I'm sorry this post has to be so depressing. I haf lots of happy things, meetings with great pple, gg to sch, hafing fun, 21st parties, fantasizing abt my own 21st bday party, lol, stuff going on in my life which i haven't blog abt. I'll post them in the new blog. Yep.


Good day and Good bye.

It's like pulling off the scab of an old wound and letting it bleed afresh.

It hurts. All i need is a closure.

Selfish Jean





HAHAHA! THIS IS FUNNY! TRAVIS NEW ALBUM, I SO TOTALLY DIG IT.


Cheers
Thanks for everything
You hung me out by my heart
You’re just so selfish jean
Yes you are

Hey you
Threw it all away
By holding everything in

Kancheong spider

That's what i am. I tink i'll die of KANCHEONG-NESS! if there is such a thing. I rushed home to bathe and i'm damn pro, everything done in under 20mins! Then the stupid shuttle bus left at 5:26 when it is suppossed to leave at 5:30!


^#@$&&^$&^%#%$&

It left just as i was RUSHING to reach it. Even more $$@$^*&^%%#!

Ok, then bun msg me so dinner=? so i walked back home, come online while waiting for daddy to come home to fetch me, TRIED very hard to communicate with 2 persons in PAIN!! lol! kancheong, cos' cannot reach a decision, they keep telling me abt pain. lol! ok, then dinner on again. Ok, i'm ready to go, then mel msg me, hall rag tonight! some auditions thingy which i haf no idea what is going on abt!

Kancheong again!


Ahhhhhhhhh!!


Eeeks! i'm so not looking forward to tomolo! 5 grps of tuition tomolo! Like OMG!! The good thing is that its all 2 mins walk from my house. But i'm LOSING my voice! What with yesterday's kbox with chickies! which for the first time in my life, i sang so much. haha. I haf a very sexxaay voice now, with the occasional high pitch off tune. lol!


Tomolo = :'(

Tuition! AHHHHHHHHH!!!

BUT I'M GOING TO EAT THE NEW CHEESE FONDUE PIZZA TOMOLO WITH LIANS!!

HAHHAHAHAA! can't wait!!

Bye bye, off to rag now! (:

This is more difficult than chinese


After several permutations and combinations, i finally remembered my frenster account password. HAHA! yeah, loser, i know. Was kinda bored, and saw quite a few friend requests so i thought, why not? Oh, guess how many frens i've got on frenster??


LOL!

FOUR!!

powerful eh??


Ha, this is a really complicated system. Anyway, erm... i just spent 1 hr figuring how to delete pics after uploading some. And another hour trying to accept friend requests. Yes, noob, so shoot me! So, just add me, before i fry my brain trying to learn how to invite a friend.


This is like so wadever sia. Ha!

ISADORA ZHONG PEISAN,


CONGRATULATIONS!!!

I AM SOOOO HAPPY FOR YOU!!

LOL!!

yAy!! YOU DID IT MAN!! THAT'S MY DAUGHTER SIA!! YES!! HOORAY!!

Throat suicide!!!


Guess what i did today??

guess, guess!! Bet you can't!

LOL! I SLEPT till 1pm, had breakfast, then i realise i got nothing to do, got bored, so i went back to SLEEP, woke up for dinner and guess wad ltr... yeshhh... SLEEP!!

Nice. Anyway, tink i'm falling sick too. :( And i'm commiting throat suicide now. Bahahaha. (sounds like spongebob laughter, eh?) Bahahha! I'm eating van houten with extra cocoa now together with my sore-throat. While watching csi and blogging and msn. Talk abt multi-tasking. Bahaha.

Anyway, yesterday was a happy day. (:

Had great company from dear old lu. Transformers is awesome! Like so cool man, all the gadgets changing into a robot. If i'm a transformer, i want to be......

A WASHING MACHINE!!


Bahahaha, i've no idea why though. I tink washing machines are cool. Bahahha! Anyway, dunno why, we decided to eat sizzler. I tink its me. Bahhaha, so we ended up travelling to toa payoh for dinner. And she's nice enough to pei me take 804 home. (:


Wheeeee, great week ahead! can't wait! (:

Mickey's gf tinks godzilla is sexxxaaayyyyy!!!!


Askariririii outing! Die hard 4! I haf no idea wad the whole show is about. LOL! but its pretty cool! haha! And ZOMG!! i'm so dead! i've been eating donuts like almost everyday! wad's with the donut craze anyway? i've eaten almost every brand. Had dunkin donuts from m'sia just now! Crazy! all the fats! and no exercise! Can someone date me or rather FORCE me to go exercise? Hmm, wait!! i haven't eaten the donut factory one, which 3 of my frens went to queue for but din ta pao for me. TSK TSK!! And no offence, but i tink a bit bo liao! HAHHAH! (mfen called and said, eh tomolo we meet up go queue for donuts ok?) -_-" LOL!
but mfen, actually i dun mind some donuts now ( oh, senior senior, where art thou? send some donuts to my doorstep now! HAHHA!) and i tink you're a very good blogger! haha, except that you got some facts wrong. Like the smitten with waiter and i'm very trustable part. HA!


And i'm toking to 2 siao zhar bos now! HAHAHAH! they making me laugh like siao, i'm like LOL. HAHHAHA! rubbish! Damn tok cock! HAHAHAHH!
and wad's wif their msn nick??? HAHA!



And oh, my lapppieee is FINALLY back!! Like finally!! hahha, and guess how many times i've listened to enrique iglesias Do you know ( the ping pong song)?
I tink its the 23rd time!!


Do you know what it feels like? -loving someone that's in a rush to throw you away


Ahhhhhhhhh, why is wakeboarding so expensive??? I wanna try it out!!!!!!! But the first 4 hrs is falling and she (omg, wad's her name?? shiatz! i forgot!) said her bro got a concussion and lost his memory for 2 weeks! My mom will kill me b4 letting me try out! Hahha, but wad she don't know won't hurt her. HAHAH!


Don't you tink it'd be great if we can lose our memories once in a while for a while? So only pictures will remind you of the happy times. pics. damn it.



And i've thought out the perfect excuse for chiong-ing! so damn smart man! I rly admire myself! And hallo, when's the chiong-ing? HAHHA, we seem to be more interested in french cpr and my bf. LOL!

And frenster can really show you another side of a person. Grossed out.


Oh oh, you know?? my tutee's grandma gave me a bag of rambutans today! She said its plucked from her rambutan tree in her garden!

So cool, rite??!!!

I came back and get jumintha to pluck and wash all for me and i finished everything (except 10 to hao lian, no i mean SHARE! LOL!)


Real rambutans freshly plucked from real rambutan trees!!


You got, you got?
dun haf, wait long long!


HAHAHAHAHA!!

Today is a happy day! ((:

theirdazzlingtale.blogspot.com

yay!


Three cheers and three cheers and three cheers for minyi

Hip hip hooray

Hip hip hooray

Hip hip hooray!

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I've so so much stuff to say, so many many pics to show.... hahah, i dunno how... haha!

camp, starch, frat night, sp, zi high wif bun. lol!

Eh, meet up! i haf so much to gossip with you about. lol!

And yeah, i slept 7 hours in total in 4 days 3 nights!! How pro was that?

Ok, camp aside...


Let me recount this exciting, life-defining moment. I was at sentosa then i saw mommy's msg. She sounded so excited! NUS letter finally arrived!! I called her and after some hesistation i told her to go ahead and open the letter for me. Wah, she kept me in suspense, but yeah, I GOT ACCEPTED!! Yeah man!! couldn't stop high-fiving wif bun after that. She's the first person to share my joy. Awwwwww. ahhahahahha!

This whole thing taught me smth. That is you shouldn't give up on smth you believe in, you love, before fighting for it. I remembered telling weifang that i dun intend to appeal, that i'll just accept my fate and do my best but then i thought :" hey minyi, how can you give up just like that? you're fongminyi, mind you! you can do anything, everything. Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men."

You shld fight to the very last, to the point that you can tell yourself :" i've done my best, i haf no regrets."


As long as there is an outlet, a tiny glimmer of hope, i will go for it. If there's anything that might help, even a bit, i'll do it, no matter the time and effort.


OBSTACLES ARE PUT IN OUR WAY TO SEE
IF WHAT WE WANT
IS REALLY WORTH FIGHTING FOR.



I remember the whole process of appealing. It was before kr camp and after. I haf to rush like mad to get all the letters and stuff done before the deadline.

Even these pple won't see these, but I want to thank Mr cheng, Ms winnine Tan for their recommendation letters, advice esp, ms tan cos she's like leaving for hk and i was at camp. My dad for fetching me countless times to and fro just to beat the deadline, my mom for helping me rush and buy imba interview clothes in time. My sis for listening to me to rant and being kancheong. hahah!


The interview went well, i guess... The dean told me there're like 400 appeals and they're interviewing pple with 3 As. My heart sank like shit after that at the end of the interview. But i tink i've a talent for crapping. hahah. I toked abt housing prices, en-bloc sales, mortgage loans, IRs, investments etc... mostly wad i heard mommy & daddy toked abt... hahah, i was damn scared they'd throw me into real estate instead. lol!


I guess i'm damn lucky this year. That i managed to get into biz with all the competition and my lousy grades. Then KR too, yishu said only 100 out of 300 and 15 out of 28 recommended got in. So its like 15 out of the subsequent 100. Yeah, and i got into D block! yay!


Yay!! Everything's on track now! KR and biz. And all tuitions on weekends. It'll be very taxing i guess, but i couldn't refuse the parents and i haf a very strong sense of responsibility. Wahahaha! And how can i refuse 1K a month by just walking from my house to next door asking kids to do their hmw on weekends?

Good. Everything nicely planned. Play, study, work! All the way!

Driving lessons will commence in the hols. Meanwhile, daddy will give me private lessons. Hahahha! He rented a manual car la, and i drove all the way back home from seletar just now, AT NIGHT!!

Wah, i first lesson alr can drive home from seletar. Smart rite?! LOL!!


Yay!! i can't wait to meet everyone!! Miss everyone like mad!! (:


reply to tags:


geri: hahha! thks! hope to see ya soon! (:

lu: transformers!!!! yay!

wf: how about going for our double celebration treat instead? but not in changi though... I scared ltr they see me they jealous! hahaha!

mel: Hahahha! yeah man! meet up!! this sat ON! call val along! she's my coursemate now! lol! And, GIRL, where's your tagboard? Can't find it! lol!

Starry Starry Night, Palettes Of Blue & Grey.....



I did smth stupid yesterday. Ok, i dunno if it is.

Anyway, after some quiet reflection, i tink one of the biggest mistakes i've ever made in my life is going on that trip. Or maybe its just a catalyst. Maybe i'll never know.


OH, I JUST REALISE THAT THE TOILET PAPER MY MOMMY BOUGHT HAS A LOT A LOT OF STARS PRINTED ON THEM.

COOL, rite? (:


Go look at your toilet paper now, you might haf an unexpected surprise!

hahahahaha

And i want to watch transsexuals... no... transformers, i mean. lol! Want to see renyao, look at isa can alr. ha. Meet up!! (:


GTG! will be back by 07/07/07!

I'm kinda excited, cos i tink it'll be fun with sharon ard!! Same og! YAY!