Halloween...the Season of Giving (and me receiving)

I realize that typically the month of December is considered the season of giving. But for some reason this year--the month of October--found me on the receiving end of much kindness.

Gettin' Boo'd

We started off the month getting "Booed" by one of our neighbors. After eating our plate of delicious pumpkin chocolate chip cookies we were supposed to make a plate of some lovelies for two neighbors and boo them.

Of course, the "Booing" had to come during my peak time of busy prep work for Fabulous Friday. I thought to myself, "I'll bake up something in a jiffy as soon as this crazy week is over. I'll even make up extras for the girls I visit teach."

Never happened.

The Well-Intentioned Visiting Teaching Treats

Neither did the Visiting Teaching treats just ask Mary that I planned to make for the girls I visit teach. Stellar month, I tell you. Stellar. But, like I said. It was a month of giving (to me) and receiving (from others).

Trunk or Treat True Confessions

After spending hours on Aussie's stinking mummy costume {which later had to be removed with the jaws of life since I had to sew him into the blasted thing. On the night of the trunk or treat, I even made him sleep in it so he could wear it to school the next day. He was so hot and itchy that when he got home from school he BEGGED me to cut him out of it. He couldn't bear another minute.

Aussie summed it up best when he said, "Mom, this is the coolest costume you've ever made me. But, it is a HUGE pain."

Needless to say, for the actual Halloween he put on the old trusty Jedi costume of years past.}

But, I digress.

So, we were totally late to our ward's Trunk or Treat due to costume malfunctions of Mummy proportions. El Jefe was working late and had purple pleasure which meant I was driving oldie goldie--whose trunk still happened to be filled with left-over shenanigans from Fabulous Friday.

Yes, I realize it was a week ago.

Yes, I understand this is a lame excuse.

But, here's my truest confession of the Halloween season: We trunked but we didn't treat --or we treated but we didn't trunk --either way you look at it I benefited from others' kindness/treats yet again.

The Borrower

At the trunk or treat, I saw one of my friends in the most darling Halloween witch costume I had ever seen. The costume was complete with a skirt made out of about 5 different colors of tulle, orange and white polka dotted bloomers and a witch hat to die for.

Coincidentally, I still needed a fabulous costume for school the next day (our school celebrated Halloween on Oct 30 because we were out of school on the 31st) and I had been so busy costuming it up for my kids that I had neglected to find me something.

{I really didn't want to have to resort to wearing this again. The wig was really itchy.}

You see where this is going right? I promise. I couldn't even believe it. The nerve of myself.

"Hey, Leslie. That is the cutest witch costume ever."

"Thanks," she replied, unaware of the tackiness about to take place.

"So...are you wearing it tomorrow?" I asked.

"Nope. Do you want to borrow it?" she kindly offered.

"Well..I'd hate to borrow a brand-new costume that you made just this year and have only worn once...but sheesh, if your going to twist my arm...then sure." I said.

The compliments I received on this costume were astounding! I had women I had never met asking if they could take a picture of me so they could duplicate it next year. At least, I gave credit where credit was due....thanks Les!

And then there was that time when MY Visiting Teacher put me to SHAME

Last week, my visiting teacher told me about the fabulous brain jello mold that she had bought. She knew I was having a Halloween part-ay on Halloween night and wondered if I would like to borrow it?

Of course, I did.

When I went to pick it up, she gave me the brain mold AND a little something she had whipped up, quick-like, for my Halloween part-ay.

She had made me this cute coconut spider cake..complete with licorice legs & jr mint googly eyes.

Thank goodness I still have December--the official?! month of giving..to redeem myself.

A Cousin's Plea

My cuzin Jenny emailed me a blogging request..a question of sorts for my loyal readers. A quandary that she says, "has haunted women throughout the ages".

Her quest involves

the search for:

Not a nice sensitive guy...

...she's already got one.

A babysitter?

Nope. Her famous mom (Auntie G) lives down the street

...as does her sister, Amy.

Loyal Readers, my dearest Jenners is in search of some fabulous mascara.

Jenny says, "I am currently in a very unsatisfying relationship with Revlon Fabulash (despite it's very promising name!), and I can't help myself looking for more. I need the experience, the beauty, the help of the weak-lashed in the feminine blogging world to reach out and help a sista! {Sadly, I need to limit suggestions to the Walmart, Target, ShopKo type products--I don't care what the Republicans say, there's a recession goin' on and there ain't no way I'm talking the DH into $20 stuff to make my eyelashes prettier! A $20 boob job I could talk him into--but eyelashes ain't his thing ! And If you quote me and put that on your blog I'll hunt you down and hurt you! And then so will Toby!"}

Loyal Readers, for years I have used the green and pink cheapy bottle of mascara--obviously I am not a connoisseur of mascara. But, just last week, Jay needed a new bottle of mascara and I was getting low too. I happened to be at Target and found a 2 pack of Colossal mascara for like $8. I bought it and tried it over the weekend. Both me and Jay agree its great--nice and fluffy lashes all the way.

So, what's your favorite mascara? Share!

P.S. Jenn..that boob job comment was just to funny to pass up...and I would daresay that El Jefe would second Toby's motion--in mascara and boob jobs.

P.P.S. Names have been crossed out to protect the innocent.

The Sunday Funnies

On the way to swim team last week, Jay was telling me about her escapades in Drama class.

Each day her teacher has a prompt up on the board that is meant to get them thinking--its called a "sparkplug". Then they go around their circle and a few kids are able to share their thoughts.

On Thursday the Sparkplug was, "think of a person or moment that has changed your life".

One of Jordyn's good friends shared a story about her aunt's battle with breast cancer. She told about how her aunt was diagnosed with breast cancer last year. How it was a struggle to watch her battle with the disease. How she eventually had to have one of her breasts removed and then followed that up with some chemotherapy and her hair fell out {but it grew back}.

At that point, Jordyn said, out loud to the entire class "You mean they grow back?"

{Jordyn had missed the chemo/hair loss part of the story and thought her friend said that her Aunt's breast was removed but it grew back.}

I laughed. Savvy laughed. Jay informed us that her entire class laughed..including the teacher.

Then Aussie, who had been pretty quiet in the backseat asked, "Why is this so funny? What's a breast?"

And that my friends, is another story for another day.

Next Season's "Dancing with the Stars"

My sister emailed this to me and I couldn't resist posting it!

Happy Birthday Elvis

I never thought I'd see the day when I'd celebrate a pet's birthday--little alone a CAT's birthday.

It's embarrassing really.

Considering that a year ago, I couldn't even stand the sight of cats--me sponsoring a celebration for a cat is nothing short of a miracle.

In all honesty, cats used to and some still do make my stomach turn--what with the licking, the shedding, the hissing, the scratching--I mean who could love an animal like that?

Then somebody decided to surprise the kids (and me) with a kitty-cat for Christmas.

I recall the conversation going something like this:

El Jefe: Guess what I bought today?

Sassy Mama: A really great Christmas present for me?

El Jefe: Yup--and you and the kids are going to go crazy with excitement...but I need you to ask a friend to hide it for us for a few days--so I'm letting you in on the surprise.

Sassy Mama: I'm not really into group gifts but whatev So what is it?

El Jefe: It's a kitty! I bought a kitty!

Sassy Mama: You know I hate cats right? I mean, I was practically raised shooting, kicking and trying to maim cats. I've never even held a cat. They are spooky.

El Jefe: You're kidding!

He was shocked.

So was I.

But, knowing how much my kiddies wanted a pet--I took one for the team and the rest is history. An expensive history. But history nonetheless.

Now, even though we got Elvis for Christmas, the kids noticed on his shot records that he was born on October 21st. So, for the past couple of months, they have been planning Elvis' birthday party. {We celebrated it Sunday, because our weeknights are so busy.}

Elvis' Birthday Extravanza

Jordyn made him her famous brownies--note the giant "E"? I think she used up the whole bottle of sprinkles.

Austin took creativity to a whole new level and spelled out Elvis' name in blocks.

Savannah bought Elvis a kitty toy that scared him so bad he hid under the coffee table for an hour. I neglected to get a picture of said toy because he hid for too long.

So here's my cheesy shout out to Elvis.

{And using my best Elvis impersonation}

Happy Birthday, Kitty.

{P.S. And just to prove how far I have truly come from those cat-hating years...today when I was teaching my 4th Grade Language Arts class about nouns--I inadvertantly listed cat under "Person". All of the kids said, "But, Mrs. H! Mrs. H! Cats aren't people...they are things!"}

The Sunday Funnies

Today during sacrament meeting, Aussie asked if I had a piece of paper and a pen he could draw with. I searched through my scripture bag for a piece of paper that I wouldn't care about being covered in

alien life forms.

I ended up finding an old agenda from a RS presidency meeting clear back in July. It was perfect because it was blank on one side of the paper and had old information that I didn't need anymore on the other side.

After busily drawing for a good half hour, Aussie presented me with his artistic doodlings. The pictures were great, but I couldn't help noticing that he had made a few additions and changes to the RS agenda on the other side.

Next to Food was

Pizza Bar

Email out requests for donations of

video games

Missionary Plan was changed to

Muffin Plan

Clean Church on Wednesday now said

mess up church

Now, there's a RS event I wouldn't want to miss.

{Of course, I'd likely be the only one

there that wasn't a 10 year old boy}

The Best Brownies Ever: A Love Affair Divine

On Sunday, Jay made the absolute best brownies I have ever tasted {they happen to be from our new ward recipe book}. Those brownies made every hour I spent on typing up the cursed thing...all worth it. I'm not joking. It was a love affair divine.

{Oh--and so was Jay's dedication to the boy she loves. She professed her love to dear "Blair Bear" in sprinkles. I chose to dedicate my love to the brownies with a glass of milk. Yum!}

Here's the recipe in all its glory!

Our Favorite Brownies

Cream in mixer:
1 1/4 cups softened butter* (Jay halfed the butter--and they were still divine)
2 2/3 cups granulated sugar

Add:

6 eggs

Beat until fluffy then blend in:
1 tsp. vanilla

Add:
2 cups flour

2/3 cup cocoa powder
1 tsp. salt

Mix thoroughly – will lighten up – about 1 minute.

Spread in greased jelly roll pan.

Bake in preheated 350 degree oven 20-25 minutes.
*or use ½ cup shortening and 3/4 cup butter.

Frost cooled or warm w/recipe below:

Brownie Frosting

½ cup butter

½ cup powdered cocoa
3½ - 4 cups powdered sugar

1 tsp vanilla

1/3 cup milk (or more as needed--I think Jay doubled that)

Mix with electric mixer until smooth.

Delicious!

Fall Break: Productive, Perplexing, Painful

Sigh.

Fall Break.

Just thinking about it has filled me with joy this year. Not to be rude, but I believe this is the first time in the history of my kids being in school-that I have actually looked forward to them {and me} being out of school--except for that one time we headed to San Diego for fall break--now that was a good time.

I have made some big plans for Fall Break. It does not involve a fancy vacation. It does not involve taking my kids on a grand adventure. It doesn't even involve spending a lot of money. All I want for my festive fall break, is a whole lot of deep cleaning--and maybe a little fun on the side.

We kicked it off last night with my sis and her family.

Taco Soup

+Homemade Carmel apples

+Kids

+Charlie Brown

=A pretty good time

note to self: next year get mom's famous Carmel apple recipe before making them--then you will avoid the issues of Carmel peeling off the apples

Productive

This morning, we cleaned and cleaned our little hearts out. It was great. I can't remember ever being this excited to clean house. The slaves pitched in and we got quite a bit done. A very productive morning indeed.

Of course, since I was beautifying my home..it didn't leave much time for beautifying myself. I did take a shower this morning. But, I got distracted with a couple of chores, and before I knew it my hair had dried all crazy-like.

"Not to worry," I thought to myself. "There will be plenty of time for doing my hair."

Perplexing

Just as I was heading into do my hair.

The doorbell rang.

At 2:30 in the afternoon.

And it was a friend of a friend of mine who was dropping money off so she could do a few crafties at our Fab Fri next week. We had never met before, and I was mortified. My hair was slicked down to the sides of my head. Glasses. No makeup. I was wearing a holey shirt. Oh and sorry grandpa--skip this next sentence if you are reading this Bra? NOPE.

Then, of course, my new BFF came in and wanted to see the crafts. And boy howdy, did she just love my clock wall. And where did I get that cool old door? Good grief. I was so freaked out about my appearance I could barely converse.

Finally, I said, "Listen. I am mortified that my hair is not done, I'm in holey clothes, No makeup. I am not at my best. But--have you noticed how clean my house is?"

She mentioned how nice it was to see that other people don't get ready for the day until noon--cause she has days like that too. I hated to bring up the fact that it was after noon. So I kept my mouth shut.

Painful

This morning, before the clean fest, I promised my slaves that we would go to the movie if they were good workers.

I called my sissy Jill, my sis-in-law Ali, and we all met at the dollar theater to watch "Space Chimps."

I hadn't heard much about it before.

That should've been my first clue that it might be lame.

Second Clue?

Opening credits of the movie.

Did I mention--Painful?

Okay. Okay. So there were a few funny parts. But the lameness by far outweighed the humor.

There were so many mini-plots--it was a joke. It was like the writers couldn't make up their mind on what they wanted the movie to be about--so it was about nothing.--and not a Jerry Seinfeld show about nothing either.

At one point, I leaned over to my sister and said, "This sounds like something Jay and her friends would write." To which Jilly answered, "Hey, isn't that being kinda rude to Jay and her friends?"

As a bonus, the kids liked it except for Jay--who, by the way, was highly offended that I inplied that her and her friends would ever produce such lousy cinema.

Another bonus? It was at the dollar movies--so it wasn't like we spent bunches of money on a doozy of a show.

Tomorrow's To-Do List?

more deep cleaning {don't tell the kids}

hair cut and colored--early so my hair will be done early too

Shop for some Halloween costumes--Savvy wants me to make her a bumblebee costume well actually she wanted to be a devil--and I said--no devils for you sista--and so then she said--well how bout' a bumble bee instead--talk about polar opposites and Aussie needs a mummy costume.

Read.

Relax.

Sew.

Drink some DC.

Good Times.

So, what are you

doing for fall break?

What Would Freud Do?

A few weeks ago, I came to the realization that if I wanted to have time to blog--I was going to have to be more organized with my efforts.

{You see, I had underestimated the power of a new part-time job, a busy church calling, a house without a maid, a phone that needs answering, a kitty-cat, 3 kids, and a husband.}

I enjoy reading a blog called Scribbit {its written by a gal in Alaska who I think of as a professional blogger}. So, I remembered an interview that I had watched on her blog where she shared tips on how to be an

effective blogger.

One of the ideas she shared was that she actually writes her posts a couple of weeks in advance. That way, if she has a crazy week like if there is a moose stampede and all power is lost she pulls a post out of her magical writing hat and she is all set.

I knew this was the plan for me. I decided to implement it toot sweet. So, a couple of weekends ago, I blogged up a blogging storm. I wrote some posts, saved them and waited. It worked great.

During the week, all it took was the push of the publish button. And you, Loyal Readers, were

none the wiser.

Using the same plan over conference weekend, I was able to write up a few more posts. Again, the plan was to scatter them througout the week--helping me to feel better about the whole being to busy to blog factor.

And then something unexpected happened.

One of my friends from AZ, Kelly B, stole my thunder.

I had just gotten off work and had settled down at the computer with an icy diet coke. I checked a few emails and then clicked over to Shenanigans and to publish my "Dream a little Dream" post. When what did my wandering eye notice on the sidebar? Kelly B had just updated her blog. Being a fan of Beeswax, I quickly clicked over to read it.

That stinkin' Kelly B had posted about her dream the night before.

And it was similar to mine.

Only funnier.

Well-written.

And smarter.

I'll be honest...there were places she was visiting in her dream that I hadn't even heard of--and the analysts? Oy Vey!.

Curse that Stinkin' Mindreader.

Why can't she just mind her own Beeswax?

The Sunday Funnies

Our primary presidency gives a FHE lesson and treat to the birthday kids. It just so happens, that Aussie's and Savvy's birthdays are tomorrow {hooray for double digits!} So, today the kids brought home their primary gift. Savvy was quite excited because there was a packet of punch in her kit.

"Mom, can I make it? Can I make it?" she begged. "We didn't even eat our treat last year."

{For the record, last year's treat was microwave popcorn--and we did eat it--just not for a FHE treat}.

"Sure, go ahead." I answered.

At that point, I failed to pay attention to the complicated steps she used in making up her packet of punch. {Okay--so the steps aren't really that complicated...but they are important.}

"Jay, will you taste my punch? It is kinda sour," I overheard Savvy say.

See Jay drink. See Jay's face scrunch up. See Jay perform a fabulous spit-take.

"Savvy! Did you pour the whole packet into one cup?" she asked.

"Yes," she answered.

"Ooooh! It's so gross! Did you even add sugar?" Jay said.

"Ummm. Sugar?" she answered.

Who knew making punch could be so difficult? {I guess I should be relieved that she learned how to make it before her 10th birthday. }

Perspective

I substitute taught in my kids class today. I work as a teacher's aide everyday till 1230--so it didn't seem like a big deal when the teacher asked me if I would stay till 3.

Boy, Howdy! It wasn't as easy as I thought it would be. I have a new appreciation for why my kids' teachers are sometimes grouchy. Plus, my feet are killing me! No wonder {most teachers} do not wear cute shoes to work.

I will admit to being a little overconfident in that I figured I could have those kids wrapped around my little finger--without raising my voice. I had planned on employing the ever popular

bell-ringing procedure .

Genius, really.

First, I asked the class if they thought I was nice. They all said I was did I really leave room for anything else?. Then, I asked them if they would like me to be nice for the rest of the day. They again said yes. Finally, I told them of my expectations {by the way...do you like my step by step instructions--I am implementing what I taught the students today}.

After the expectation speech, respect, listening, paying attention, blah, blah, blah I told them that when I wanted their undivided attention I would ring a bell two times and say, "Class Perfect" and they would assume the perfect position--facing forward, sitting up straight, eyes on me, feet on the floor--etc {hey--it worked like a charm in primary--why wouldn't it work in a 4th grade classroom?}.

Surprisingly enough, the day went pretty smoothly. The bell ringing idea was fab. I had their undivided attention for most of the day until 2:55 when it all went to he!!--because apparently I didn't follow procedure.

But, for the most part, I felt like I had them wrapped around my little finger.

Until we were on our way home from school today.

I asked the twins how I did.

Aussie informed me that *Stan thought my art project which I spent many days stressing about and wanting to make as fabulous as possible was lame.

Savvy told me that the bell ringing "thingy was weird". AND that I was kinda mean especially to the boys it was really only two and I still had them wrapped around my finger--even if it involved minor threats.

Perspective, loyal readers. Perspective.

*Name has been changed to protect the innocent.

When Pumpkins Drink...

My cute Auntie-G forwarded this to me in an email...love it!

New Recipes 101...

When trying out a new recipe...
...save it for a day when your in-laws aren't visiting.

When trying out a new recipe...

...be sure to follow the directions carefully--and use the correct ingredients.

When trying out a new recipe...
...if it calls for Pepperidge Farms seasoned bread crumbs--do not assume that it will be fine to substitute Seasoned Ranch Dressing.

When trying out a new recipe...
...no matter how good it looks and smells--the taste is much more important.

When trying out a new recipe...

...understand that when El Jefe stops at just one serving...it ain't a good sign.

When trying out a new recipe...

...realize that when your father-in-law takes a third serving--at the insistance of his wife--it is only because he thinks you might cry far be it from anyone in my own immediate family to care about my emotional well-being--and for the record I did NOT shed one salty tear.

When trying out a new recipe...

...if it tastes nasty and is beyond inedible--and you make the comment, "I think this is the worst thing I've ever made." Do not be offended when a chorus of, "No, you've made worse," is shouted at the top of their lungs.

So, what's the worst thing you've ever made? Or if you are the perfect chef--what's the best thing

you've ever made?

The Sunday Funnies

Aussie and Savvy went to their first competitive swim meet this weekend in Park City. Good times were abounding--even if the weather was rainy, cold and blah.

After swimming in his first race, Aussie talked to his coach. She gave him a pep talk, and then instructed him to go to the cool down pool and swim a 100 easy {translation: 100 yards nice & slow--FYI: 100 yards is up one length of the pool and back--twice}.

Noticing that Aussie had been cooling down for quite a while, I headed over to the cool down pool. There he was swimming his little heart out.

"Aussie, hop out," I said. As he climbed out of the pool, I asked, "What are you doing, bud?"

"Finishing my laps," he answered. "Coach told me to swim 100 laps and I'm only on 48."

Poor kid.

His cool down needed

a cool down.

Win a Free Handbag

I just read on my good friend, Jolene's, blog about a fun giveaway. Wanna win a free purse? Then click on this link and enter yourself into the contest. I mean, who wouldn't want a new purse? Do you like the one I picked to win? I hope not because it will ruin my odds.

Recipe Book Etiquette

Etiquette Rule #1: When typing up a ward cook book--do not allow recipes to be turned in at the last minute--otherwise your book will go from 10 pages to 150 pages in no time flat--and inevitably there will be shenanigans.

Etiquette Rule #2: Watch for typos. Nobody wants to bake a Chocolate "Mouse" Pie.

Etiquette Rule #3: Correct ingredients are of the utmost importance. 14 teaspoons of lemon extract will pack a powerful punch when the Sugar Cookie recipe calls for only 1 1/2 teaspoons.

Etiquette Rule #4: Copyright laws are null and void when it comes to a ward cookbook at least that's what I plan on telling Cafe Rio, Lion House, Olive Garden & Pampered Chef.

Etiquette Rule #5: I don't care how good a recipe is--you'd better change the name of it if it involves the word "Mole". Regardless of the fancy pronunciation--when I see "Chicken Mole Pizza" it brings to mind nasty visits to the dermatologist. Do you buy them by the pound or what?

Etiquette Rule #6: If you are not sure who the author of a recipe is, it is quite alright to attribute the recipe to your neighbor--she most likely won't notice--probably--unless she reads your blog--which she doesn't.

Etiquette Rule #7: You must save your recipe book document. I repeat. You must save your recipe book document. So then, after you have promised many, many RS ladies an emailed version of the cookbook--you won't have to spend 2 hours reinventing the wheel--you know, the one you already invented the first time around?

Etiquette Rule #8: If you complain enough about your calling--and the business therein such as typing up a monster of a recipe book you will receive a delicious bundt cake from your BFF and it will make breaking all of the above etiquette rules worth every bite. Tally-ho.