I finally moved out today!! Freedom here I come!
Staying over at friend's now in KL for a few days till my media trip to Thailand, how exciting.
Come to think of it, this is my first time living in the big city. Kinda refreshing and nice for a change to know that I don't need to drive out for an hour to reach KLCC or Pavillion, no thanks to the petrol hike, LRT seems more useful now than ever.
Still have a lot of things to sort out, unpack, pack, repack, hence the delay in those China travel entries. Be patient, moving house is tough.
You know what? I think I'm getting fat, damn those cheap and delicious 'xiao long pao' and dim sum in China , they just don't know how to make things expensive and keep to a simple menu to tempt us off from over-odering and over-eating. China is bad.. bad I tell you!
Promise myself to head to the gym tomorrow morning when everyone is at work. Monday blues. sigh~
*back to finishing my column and deadlines*
I dreamt about you last night.
How you held my hand and caressed me with your sweet words. Sometimes I wonder if that mouth of yours is sugar coated, or could it it be the reason I no longer crave for chocolates? It was an episode that stretches on from consciousness, I remembered sections of it now, it was so clear in the morning when I woke up in bed. Difficult to differentiate reality from dream, it all felt real, and I was reluctant to get out from bed. I pulled up my blanket, hoping to step back next to you.
I shouted to the world how I felt for you, I forgot what were the words, but it was exactly how I felt. And despite all the "wants", I refrain from spilling it all out to you. For what reasons I can't really explain, for I do not have the answers myself.
I believe in true love, and true love is always magical. Like lightning, it strikes you fast and hard without you realising. You might be afraid of this sudden outburst of feeling, of this sudden decision you have to make, it can hurt, or it can be pleasurable. You might try to ignore it, but please, don't; because love is a wonderful thing. Even if it hurts, isn't the feeling of being in love worth all the getting hurt in the world?
Life is how it is, we don't need a reason for everything. Because there simply are things words can't describe, logic cannot explain. Love, for example. Why live, if you can never love; not all the money in the world can buy that powerful feeling inside.
I once asked myself a question: if I were given a choice between marrying a rich man I adore and respect and have wonderful kids with him, while living the rest of my life comfortably not having the need to worry about any material need for the next few generations; or to be with my one true love, the perfect soulmate that I would dedicate the rest of my life to but live out a common life, poor one even if may be; which would it be?
I'd then imagine myself living in a cottage somewhere far up in the hills, living a modest life, earning a modest living, enough to survive through each day. But knowing that I can wake up every morning, and sleep in every night, looking at that face I will never grow tired of, holding that hand that can calm my world, and knowing his presence alone meant the world to me. And immediately I have the answer. There was no dilemma, there was no doubt, no money in the world would matter, no amount of past "hurt" can hold me back, for it will all be worth while, to wait for that moment to come. The perfect moment when I can look into his eyes, can whisper to him "Finally, I've found you".
How I wish it was possible, but it's not possible is it? You to be here, right now, next to me, to hold me tight, to be with me. No, it's not possible, due to commitments and due to ... personal restrictions.
I want nothing more, because I know I could not ask for more, to hear more of you, to have you to talk to me in the wee hours in the morning again, to receive your text every now and then. That would complete me, at least for now it would, I'll be contented, I'll try to be. Because there's nothing more I can ask from you, than your voice.
Short Note: Check out this weekend Urbanscape, also join the contest before midnight tomorrow and blog about it to win free shopping vouchers. I thought the urbanscape T-shirt to SO CUTE!I spotted this in Shanghai old town.
What do you call an imitation Transformer in China?
Transformable!!! Hahahaha!!!
Ever wondered how is breakfast served in the world second largest hotel of First World Hotel at Genting? (It was the world's largest by Dec 2006)
Sorry, lazy to find a Genting photoHousing 6,118 rooms, the bloody 500,000 sq feet resort cum indoor theme park cum casino is one of the most impressive project ever to build in the world.
Everyone in Malaysia loves~~~ Genting. Yes? No?
Admit it, the only reason (gambling aside) that you travel all the way 1700m above sea level on a weekend, or even on a weekday, sometimes not minding a one day trip and pay over hundreds for a little cramp room in an overly cramp hotel with probably another few thousands (say 6000-10,000 ppl on a full day) visitors is just because..
It's kinda chilly up there.
Living in Malaysia, we get sunny weather all year round. And I mean HOT sunny weather. Not only that, it's humid! We hate the sun so much, we would pay hundreds of ringgits to stay in a little cramp room in an overly cramp hotel with probably another few thousands visitors is just to get away from the heat.
Yep, it's perfectly normal for a Malaysian to escape to 1700m above sea level for a one/two days getaway to hide in the clouds just because we don't particularly fancy our weather.
They have the rooms to accommodate, they have the entire mountain for space, they definitely have the facilities to entertain; but how on earth do they feed their thousands of guests on a daily basis on a free buffet breakfast?
They bring in the army of course.
Or at least.. skills used in military.
First, they assign two fully trained specialised chefs to each station.
Chef 1 & 2 - position - egg fryersKeep to an easy menu.
Instead of fancy looking bowls, they use tower containers to store the cereals.
"It's almost gone, fill 'er up!"As for the drinks?
It's orange juice.
Or water.
It's quite easy really. Served up to basic need, it's simple, fast, and efficient. Brilliant!
All you need to do is allocate a stand for food collection every few meters away or so so the crowd can spread equally across the level.
You'll find crowd surrounding the station holding their tiny plates waiting for sunny side-ups.
Eating here, is like begging for food.
Don't underestimate a hungry mob though.
Despite sucky simply boring food and drinks,
it's a dog eat dog world out there.
Fruit platter - gone
Even the egg chef runs out of work in a jiff
"No more egg, come back tomorrow"Bloody hell, peanuts also not spared.
Chinese being chinese, this couple is taking every opportunity to save cost for lunch and dinner.
My tableMy breakfast - not to bad
I love runny yolk on toast.Ahh, I love Genting.
Hahahaha~!
I'm a free thinker. I have my own beliefs, and I believe there is a third being that created the world and everything we are. I call him god. He is neither Jesus, Buddha, nor Alah. He is just god. There is no other name I would call him.
Since young, I believe I am gifted, blessed and loved tremendously. I believe I am different and god might have loved me a little bit more. Everything in my life has been well laid, they're not exactly smooth sailing, but I would say I grew up pretty easily, despite the horrible depression age I went through in primary and highschool. However, I have yet to meet a bad person in my life, I still have both my parents who love me unconditionally, and I have a brother who gave me handphone (hey it's a big thing coming from him), and amazing friends who are endearing and caring. :D
When I was in school, people didn't understand me, simply because I'm weird. I think differently, act differently. I had aweful results in primary and teachers hated me because I was tall, ugly and stupid. In high school, I was unpopular, a nerd with glasses with no sex appeal; boys made fun of me and I was anti-social. I have wild imaginations, and I have wild dreams; everyone thought I was too far in the clouds. My mom thinks so too. But then again, isn't life itself a dream? :)
I have always preached to my friends that everything happens for a reason. And I believe strongly in it. Because you see, I think that god loves me a little too much to let me go through life difficultly. Many things that appear to be obstacles in life are his little ways of protecting me from greater harms. For example. if I were to choose between two decisions, god has ways to show me signs to decide which is the better option for me; like a cancelled interview, or falling sick, or even a late confirmation. If it rains I can't go out, it would be mean that I'm not meant to go out, it could be an accident that might happen to me, or a party that would turn out terrible due to the rain.
But sometimes, god loves me in ways I don't understand. Like today, I'm supposed to board a flight from Shenzhen to KK, and then take another plane from KK to KL. And all of a sudden, I got a message from Airasia informing me that the flight was cancelled due to typhoon somewhere near KK. I was swearing halfway on the bus from Shenzhen-Hongkong border to the airport.
You see, I got the sms before I board the bus in Guangzhou, I didn't check my phone and arrive in Shenzhen safely, boarded another bus to Shenzhen airport. It was only when I was arriving at Shenzhen airport that I saw the text. This meant that not only I travelled all the way to Shenzhen for nothing, my flight from KK to KL will be missed and forfeited. Wasting time, and money.
Upon arriving at the airport, I went to the Airasia office to enquire other alternative. Apparently, they are willing to reimburse another flight ticket, either at a later date, or to another location other than KK. So now, I am waiting in starbucks for my flight to KL tonight at 8:45pm.
Which is great! That means I don't need to change flights at KK and will be heading to KL directly! Even though that also means I have to sit in Starbucks for 8 hours.
When I looked back, I realised that not checking my phone and missing the sms by 3 hours was actually a good thing. Because if I were to see that sms while in Guangzhou, I wouldn't have left Guangzhou (and might book another flight from Guangzhou airport to KL that will cost me an arm and a leg). Now, not only I can get avoid a typhoon, save the extra journey, I will be sitting in starbucks having the time to finish my long forgotten paper.
It's funny, cause I was pretty stressed out and frustrated and swearing and cursing. And god has put me through all those emotional roller coaster before revealing the good news to me.
I love my life, and I'm happy of the things are running right now. Because no matter what happens in the future, I know I'm well taken care for. And by taking a step back to look at life, you'll discover, it's not that difficult to understand life afterall. :)
It arrived one morning at my doorstep weeks before my departure to China.
So handsomely hidden in a knee height box. Shying its beauty from the rest of the world.
But I was ready to unveil its virginity.
It's bold.
It's pink!
And it costs my baby RM3.5k.
Guys, meet my baby.
The dell xps M1330!!!
I simply LOVE!!!
Thank you baby!!!!
No I am not going to go all moral and ethical shit on you.
Not that
kind of
Global Citizen.
This is what's going to happen.
I am moving out this month. Yeah~~~!!! Thank god! Finally! I thought I was going to rot.
Don't get my wrong, I love where I'm staying, and to be able to have the whole condo to myself is a luxury, really. It's fantastic. Just that I have always seen myself as a person of non settlement, especially not in the same country.
I was in Melaka for 17 years, and god that was too much! Then I was in college, in England for uni, in KL, and I started working, and then travelling. Come to think of it, I have actually stayed in Klang Valley for 4 years! Moving around SS2, to Kelana Jaya and then to Puchong - but never in the same place.
I was about to renew my yearly contract with my landlord last month because July was the month I moved in last year. And then something hit me. Why rent a place in Malaysia when you are going to be travelling everywhere else BUT Malaysia!
After sorting out my time table, I realised I am only going to be in Klang Valley for 2.5 months for the rest of the year! So, again with the over-night thinking, I decided! I am going to move out! And be homeless for the rest of the year!
Yay!
I am in China now, so after this I will head back to Malaysia, and by July, my mom's going to go through her second operation so I have to be there for her in Melaka till she recovers. By then, it would have been August when I will be flying to Australia for a month long till mid September; in December, I am heading over to Japan to finish off the rest of the country, only to return in 2009. As for the 2.5 months in between?
Haha, guess what?! I. am. MOVING TO THAILAND!!!
Yes! I will be migrating to Bangkok (temporary)! Will be renting an apartment there and maybe pick up Thai language! Woohoo!!!
I can't believe I am going to be a global ciziten in 10 days! Life is full of unexpectancies.
Chest tightens, the rib cage contorts and squeezes out my last breath. Like woken up by a bad dream, I shoot open my eyes finding myself clasps in a fetus form. A pillow is held tight beneath me, half a blanket stretched around my waist sprouts out across the floor.
What is this wretched feeling?
The room echoes with a repeated media tune I forgot to switch off on my pc before I dozed off on the floor among the piles of pillows on a fur carpet. Half the ceiling curtain is pulled wide apart, the sky outside leaks absolute darkness.
I sit up, attempting to catch my breath but the tightness forces air out of my lungs. I grab hold of my chest, tracing my palm to my throat as through by physically doing so, it will soothe my discomfort. It does not.
Anger still rings inside me, follows by sadness, disappointment. Thoughts of him cloud my mind, what he said and what he didn’t say. The room breathes loneliness. I gather my legs and pull the blanket up to my shoulder. Yet coldness entraps me, runs through my heart and veins; and the room became bigger, quieter, and lonelier, till I was this little speck, with only few centimeters of lights around my barrier.
This conflicting feeling I have, hatred and love; didn’t they say these two emotions share a thin line? Oh how much negativity I have towards him now, how I wish I can scream, shout and spit vile words at someone, at something, at him? Strangely, unwillingly, inevitable even, I miss him. So dearly I care profoundly about what he feels, say; clinging onto each word he had spoken or didn’t speak.
I care. That’s the thing, I miss him and I still care. How disgusting.
Need someone to make me feel better. Who? Best friend? Family? Random friends? No one fits the title now. I am in no mood to speak to anyone, nothing can make me feel better, not even a tub of delicious creamy and rich Royce chocolate imported from Japan. I want him, and I hate him, I don’t want to see him nor talk to him, at least not now, I have too much wrath in me. Dear god how I crave for his voice, his presence, his embrace.
Suddenly I understand the meaning of the song “Hate that I love you” by Rihanna. The only person that can make me feel better, the one person in the entire world that can lift me spirit, take away the tightness on my chest, and make me feel warm and fussy; is the same person that made me so angry, so full of hatred, so I-want-to-strangle-and-kill kind of feeling.
Midnight arrives, phone rings. I look over, his name appears on the screen. Hatred fills me up, and I ignore it.
It rings once.
Twice.
Third time.
I won’t pick up.
Fourth time.
Maybe.. just maybe. No! I will probably scream at him.
Fifth...
Soften… I hold up the phone, but look blankly at the screen, at the caller, at his name. And wait.
It stops. A sense of relief rushes over me.
And then it stops for good. I look at the now silent phone, for a while I am reluctant to set it down. And I wait.
Nothing.
Two hours have gone. Phone rings.
I pick up.
“Dear..”
All the negativities, the hatred, the fury, the I-don’t-want-to-talk-to-you-anymore, the confusion, the annoyance, everything that made me so irritated and uncomfortable the whole night sweeps off my chest, out of my body and out the window.
One word. That's all I need.
After dragging (very reluctantly) my feet and body out of my bed, I plopped into the shower and put on my PJs looking outfit as it was going to be a wet wet day.
We went to a marine conserve area to play with eels and stingrays.
Ooo... Crikey, they're gonna bite me!Well, actually I played with the eels. The rest were too chicken-y~ keke
Hamish, owner of Stardust sail, handed me the slimy fish while I wrestled with myself to extend my hands out to hold it.
Erm, that's not too bad.This photo is before the eel stretched its muscle and wiggled (harshly) out of my hands leaving me screaming like a little girl.
Okay, moving on!
Hamish then took us out to sea to the sail boat, passing by a river where many eagles gathered to feed on fishes (or the near dead fish we threw onto the river). It was quite a magnificent sight as this was the first time I saw eagles in the wild.
When we reached the sail, the wooden boat was of a slight disappointment as I thought it would be a magnificent grand yacht that shouts spotless shine.
The deck was made of wood and looks pale in comparisons to most sails I have seen on TV, as this is also my first time boarding a yacht.
However, that didn't spoil our fun. Not even the the drizzling rain did.
Francis, director of Apxara, enjoying his time
We sang songs, played guitars and had sea spa hanging by the net beside the boat as the yacht sailed.
I didn't try the spa, but I went kayaking at sea. :D
Chic Wern was my engine. :D :D
It was brilliant, we ended up rowing ourself into a tunnel so dark we knocked our heads against rocks several times and into a bay. We then started picking up some garbage that were thrown out at sea. It like a save the green day for us.
Except for the part when Chic Wern decided to accidentally knocked me so hard on the head with his paddle. -.-
Note the Styrofoam box on the boatIt was a fun fun fun. Sigh, I just love kayaking at sea. Don't you? So the romantic don't you think?
Back at the hotel in the late afternoon, we visited the awesomeness super expensive 5-room villa at Westin that costs RM12,000 per night! Holy!
Served little light snacks along with the tourNever in my life I will ever step foot into the back of this villa where a glass swimming pool facing the sea situates, ever again. RM12,000 is a lot of money!!
12k shotThis is me imagining myself as a Tai Tai sipping cocktails at the back of a 12k villa that's too much to splurge.
"Cheers Madam"Later, we were asked to put on silly hats and capes. Wtf.
Me and diva Kee Hua Cheeand had a silly group photo together.
That's Joyce next to me and Cheng Leong on the far right. Three bloggers yay!Remember when I said Westin has a knack of being attentive to details?
The dinner hosted and organized by Westin and Apxara during our last night took the cake completely.
First they brought out the fireman. "Huh? Jumanji?" I thought.
It was actually Harry Potter theme.
It was a night to remember, with ghostly candles and long tables, the feel of Hogwarts captured our hearts instantly the moment we stepped into the ballroom.
Apple trees hung dimly among the buffet selection.
The food and desserts were directed and prepared by Mahathir's ex personal chef who used to work in the Loft. It was superb.
That marks the end of my journey in Langkawi. Fuu... I miss my heavenly bed. >_<
Can you spot me at breakfast the final morning?
