TAKE THE PLEDGE!

3.3.10 is National Awarness Day to end the use of the R-word.

Why some people argue about this (really, is it worth fighting to keep this word???!!!) I will never understand. Working together we can all make a difference to help all children (and adults) feel accepted. Take the pledge at www.r-word.org.

From Special Olympics:

The latest in the battle against this 21st-century dirty word have all eyes on American influencers who have recently used the term in the media.

A Jan. 26 Wall Street Journal article quoted White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel calling certain healthcare opposition as “retarded.” Special Olympics Chairman and CEO Timothy Shriver sent a letter to Emanuel, objecting to his use of the word and explaining why it is hurtful. Earlier this week, a delegation of advocates met with Emanuel to discuss the effect of the R-word on people with intellectual disabilities. The meeting prompted Emanuel to add his pledge at R-word.org.

Shortly after the meeting, radio personality Rush Limbaugh described the White House meeting with Emanuel as a “retard summit.” Tim Shriver sent a letter to Limbaugh as well.

Shriver, as he does with all people of influence, reached out with a letter to Limbaugh as well to engage him in being a leader against discrimination of people with intellectual disabilities. Shriver has not yet received a response from Limbaugh.

Heeding the advice and recommendations of Special Olympics athletes, Special Olympics began referring to ‘mental retardation’ as ‘intellectual disabilities’ in 2004. The athletes felt the term mental retardation perpetuated the playground taunts of ‘retard’ and ‘retarded’ and added social stigma to their already everyday challenge they faced.

In 2008, Special Olympics, along with a coalition of intellectual disability organizations, raised the issue of the R-word when Dreamworks released the film “Tropic Thunder” which repeatedly used the R-word. A protest was held at the premiere in Los Angeles, CA and for once the R-word became a national discussion topic.

Young people joined the campaign against this term in March 2009 when they launch the Spread the Word to End the Word campaign which engaged students and people with intellectual disabilities to join together to take the pledge atwww.r-word.org to not use the R-word.

This year’s Spread the Word the End the Word day will be March 3. Join the campaign today by taking the pledge.

the Oprah experience.

The craziest thing happened. I was stalking the Oprah website a couple of weeks ago (as I do every month in my sad attempt to get tickets) only to get disappointed yet again. "The reservation window is currently closed" is all I see on that site! Because I may be going to Chicago in the near future I was really wanting tickets for March/April. While looking at a backwards way of getting them (I heard certain hotels/concierges in Chicago have tickets) Joe asked me, "why don't you just go on the site and get them?" Hmm...hadn't thought of that!!!! He submitted something on Marriage Ref that took all of five minutes and we didn't really think about it again...

48 hours later my caller ID comes up as "Harpo Studios"--AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I was screaming "IT'S OPRAHHHHHHHH" and Joe calmly picked up and talked to the producer. I heard "that's great" and "we would love to"--he hung up and said, "they want us to come to the show." I almost died. The next couple of days involved some pre-show interviews because they may want to talk to us in the audience. We booked the tickets and childcare (thank you Heidi and Courtney!) and were on our way. We were in and out in less than 24 hours!

Here is the lowdown of our experience:

They told us to be at Harpo at 11am and doors close at 11:30. We got there shortly after 11am to see a line forming around the building. The line moved quickly inside where they checked IDs and gave you all paperwork that needed to be signed. Then you go through the security lines-- I seriously think TSA works at Harpo. We walked through metal detectors, went through coat check and got our purses checked. All cameras and phones are taken until after the show. After this process is done (took about 45 minutes) we were sent upstairs to a "waiting room" with the rest of the audience. This room is so much cooler than the waiting room at Letterman (duh!). There were seats (Letterman makes you stand!) and lots of enlarged photos of Oprah's biggest shows. During this time you have one form in your hand with a number in the corner and she also hands out "no phone zone" pledges (later in the show she will ask us all to sign them). I need to say too that every single person we encountered at Harpo was happy and pleasant. I mean really, really happy people! They told us that they would call numbers and seat us in groups in the studio. As we were waiting (less than 30 minutes in the waiting room) they called our NAMES! We were excited! We knew this meant we had a good chance of getting camera time if they went to the audience. They walked us down and then up a few stairs and we came in through the back of the studio (where you sometimes see guests come out and high five the audience as they walk) and I swear to god I couldn't breathe. Her studio is magnificent. It was smaller than it looks on TV, but was really cool looking. We were sat in a movie-theatre type seat in the third row, center--right in front of the woman, herself. And tissues were under every seat...I needed them almost as soon as I sat down. :) It was very overwhelming and unlike any other thing I had experienced.

Next a couple of the producers and audience people prepped us (and about five other couples) in case Oprah posed a question to us. Then the woman that warms-up the audience came out loudly and happily. The music started..."I gotta feelin'...that tonight's gonna be a good night" and everyone started clapping and screaming. I can't imagine if it was a show where she gave away cars or it was "Oprah's favorite things." This was just a regular show, she wasn't even out yet and I swear my head almost popped off. Even Joe was beside himself.

Suddenly the woman warming up the audience (not sure of her official title) says softly "she's coming." The entire backstage crew starts running around and I nearly peed at this point. There are many entrances to the stage. One is large and is on the right, small on the left and then the ones in the back (where we came out). We weren't sure which one she would walk through. Then, there she was. Big entrance on the right. She was barefoot, carrying her shoes. And as she walked on the stage she greeted everyone. She was very pleasant and seemed excited to be there (and it was her second taping of the day!) The middle of the stage drops flat as she walks on and once she is seated it rises at least six inches. whoa. She got the audience excited for Jerry Seinfeld and talked briefly to Jessica Seinfeld (who snuck in to the front row when Oprah entered).

Once the show started it was obvious that she is a pro. It is a well oiled machine and she doesn't do prep or anything during the breaks. She looks like she's been doing this for 24 years!! :) She does not tape real time like Letterman did (Letterman would break for the real time that the commercial was and there was no editing to the show). Oprah would take breaks but they would be a minute or less and when the show aired it was apparent that quite a bit was edited out.

At the end of the show (they ran out of time so no audience questions) she thanked the guests and closed. Then she took a few minutes to ask the audience where we all traveled from and offered her heart-felt thanks for traveling to come to the show. Are you kidding me??!! As she walked off stage I wanted to freeze time-- it was such an amazing, amazing experience.

On the way out you go through coat check and get your coats back and then get all cameras and phones back. Across the street is the Oprah store-- it was like the little store after the Disney ride. You are still on the high from the ride so you want to buy EVERYTHING! It was a neat experience.

This was on my list and I didn't think it was possible. Joe made it possible and it was one of the most memorable experiences of my life.

If you get the chance, GO! :)

Blog #2

I have decided to start a second blog. We are starting a new journey and I wanted to capture it in the hopes of aiding my frustrations and possibly helping others.

www.glutenfreekiddos.blogspot.com

smarty pants.

Noah got his report card on Friday and I am one proud mamma. He did fabulous. He is consistently exceeding all expectations-only on one occasion did he simply meet the goal (not exceed it) and that was because he got a 2 out of a possible 2. Behavior and Social Growth went from many "some of the time(s)" to ALL "most of the time(s)". Notes read, "Noah is doing wonderfully! He is meeting or exceeding expectations in reading, math and writing. He does a great job on all his work. He listens and participates in class. He is a pleasure to have in class!"

Joe and I continue to always believe in our Noah and see the sky is the limit. He is a smarty pants and I couldn't be prouder.

i heart orca whales.

Another trainer dead. Not too surprising.

Anyone that knows me well knows how I feel about Seaworld. I haven't been there in about 10 years and it was 10 years ago that I realized why I could never go again. It is easy to see the animals are used in a circus-like manner with little to no regard for their well being. Although there are some rehab programs for some injured sealife, it is primarily a place that captures beautiful sea creatures and keeps them in captivity for entertainment and profit.

Some say "the animals love it-- they get to play all day and don't have to look for food." Any educated person knows better. This could not be further from the truth especially when talking about dolphins and orca (killer) whales. Whales are complex and very intelligent creatures. They swim 50-100 miles per day in the ocean. They spend their entire lives with their family and they enjoy looking for food. In a tank they do not use any of their senses and they become what many to believe is depressed and stressed.

Did you know?

• Orca whales in captivity often develop pathologies, such as the dorsal fin collapse seen in 60–90% of captive males. This is their beautiful, high fin all flopped over when in captivity. You rarely see this in the wild.
• Captive orca whales have vastly reduced life expectancies, on average only living 10-20 years. In the wild, females can live 70-80 years and males can live 50-60 years.
• Captive life is stressful due to small tanks, false social groupings and chemically altered water. Captive killer whales occasionally act aggressively towards themselves, their tankmates, or humans, which critics say is a result of stress.
• Orcas live in small pods of 5-30 whales; they are very social animals. The bonds between the close-knit members of orca pods are strong and last for life. This is why many believe the whales become so "depressed" in captivity. They are unable to swim the hundreds of miles they normally would swim in one day and they miss their family that they swim with for life.

The Humane Society of the United States and the World Society for the Protection of Animals say in their report "The Case Against Marine Animals in Captivity," captivity causes marine mammals to lose their natural feeding and foraging behaviors. Captivity also changes their social behaviors. The report explains, "Stress-related conditions such as ulcers, stereotypical behaviors including pacing and self-mutilation, and abnormal aggression in groups frequently develop in predators denied the opportunity to forage. Other natural behaviors, such as those associated with dominance, mating, and maternal care, are altered in captivity, which can have a substantially negative impact on the animals." Animals that are normally peaceful in their natural environment can become violent when confined.

"In some ways, the lives of marine mammals in captivity are less stressful than in the wild. Having little or no stress, however, can actually be stressful---just as with humans. Imagine what it would be like if you lived in a small, dark room with nothing to do. You might be physically comfortable, but you wouldn't get to smell all the smells of the outdoors, of different foods cooking or of different environments. You couldn't go for a hike and wonder what was just around the next bend. You wouldn't be able to surf the Web and learn interesting things about other species. You would surely become extremely stressed out. Our minds like to have some problems to solve, and new information to process. Orcas (or "killer whales") are the same. We have much more in common with other species than we often realize, and as Rose says, relating to orcas is pretty commonsensical. Because they rely on their echo-location, she says, they are used to processing a great deal of sound. When they are kept in an aquarium, they have no variety and no reason to use their echo-location. For them, it is like being kept in a small, dark box. Orcas in captivity are bored, and it has an effect on their health, just as it would for a human."

It is baffling to me how anyone can support these places and encourage the captivity of these beautiful creatures. My children will never see Seaworld. Because if it's my job to teach them compassion for others, taking them would simply make me a hypocrite. They do not need to see a whale doing a circus act (don't get me started on the circus) to learn about it.

Another trainer has died and Seaworld is again saying "we can't believe this happened." Of course this happened! They are KILLER whales that are stressed and frustrated by their man-made environment!! Seaworld will not stop on their own-- this poor whale is back to his "show" starting today. The only thing that will make this circus show stop is the public refusing to buy tickets. By buying tickets you are supporting the abuse of these whales. It's as simple as that.

References: ehow, wikipedia, humane society, orca network, national geographic

happy birthday to my beautiful boy.

My baby is seven today. My littlest miracle.

I still cannot talk about this day seven years ago without a lump in my throat. I cannot imagine my life without him. And I cannot imagine what he would have been like had he been full-term. Joe and I talk about it sometimes. And we both agree that maybe if he was full term he would be a different kid. He is so funny and so literal. And his memory is unimaginable. His excitement and shyness when he grabs his glasses. His gallop. His laugh (even the fake one) is my most favorite sound. I just can't begin to understand how he would be if he acted and talked like everyone else. He's just so perfect the way he is.

February 17, 2003-- during the biggest snow storm I had seen in Ohio, my tiny baby Noah was born. And behind that big, dark NICU cloud is still the same joy every parent feels... the eternal gratitude that this unique, lovely being was brought to me.

Happy birthday sweet Noah. Momma loves you.

Shameful.

I feel so blessed that this did not happen to us and I welled up as I read it. Some are uneducated, some are insensitive. And unfortunately it's a frustrating, but common, experience as a parent of a boy with disabilities. Bravo to this dad!

From the Philadelphia Inquirer:

Just when I thought I was out of the Transportation Security Administration business for a few columns, they pull me back in.

Did you hear about the Camden cop whose disabled son wasn't allowed to pass through airport security unless he took off his leg braces?

Unfortunately, it's no joke. This happened to Bob Thomas, a 53-year-old officer in Camden's emergency crime suppression team, who was flying to Orlando in March with his wife, Leona, and their son, Ryan.

Ryan was taking his first flight, to Walt Disney World, for his fourth birthday.
The boy is developmentally delayed, one of the effects of being born 16 weeks prematurely. His ankles are malformed and his legs have low muscle tone. In March he was just starting to walk.
Mid-morning on March 19, his parents wheeled his stroller to the TSA security point, a couple of hours before their Southwest Airlines flight was to depart.

The boy's father broke down the stroller and put it on the conveyor belt as Leona Thomas walked Ryan through the metal detector.

The alarm went off.

The screener told them to take off the boy's braces.

The Thomases were dumbfounded. "I told them he can't walk without them on his own," Bob Thomas said.

"He said, 'He'll need to take them off.' "

Ryan's mother offered to walk him through the detector after they removed the braces, which are custom-made of metal and hardened plastic.

No, the screener replied. The boy had to walk on his own.

Leona Thomas said she was calm. Bob Thomas said he was starting to burn.

They complied, and Leona went first, followed by Ryan, followed by Bob, so the boy wouldn't be hurt if he fell. Ryan made it through.

By then, Bob Thomas was furious. He demanded to see a supervisor. The supervisor asked what was wrong.

"I told him, 'This is overkill. He's 4 years old. I don't think he's a terrorist.' "

The supervisor replied, "You know why we're doing this," Thomas said.

Thomas said he told the supervisor he was going to file a report, and at that point the man turned and walked away.

A Philadelphia police officer approached and asked what the problem was. Thomas said he identified himself and said he was a Camden officer. The Philadelphia officer suggested he calm down and enjoy his vacation.

Back home in Glassboro a week later, Bob Thomas called the airport manager and left her what he calls a terse message.

He was still angry enough last week to call me after I'd written a couple of columns about travelers' complaints of mistreatment by screeners at the airport.

"This was just stupid," he told me.

At the very least, it was not standard procedure.

On Friday, TSA spokeswoman Ann Davis said the boy never should have been told to remove his braces.

TSA policy should have allowed the parents to help the boy to a private screening area where he could have been swabbed for traces of explosive materials.

She said she wished Thomas had reported the matter to TSA immediately. "If screening is not properly done, we need to go back to that officer and offer retraining so it's corrected."

Davis also said TSA's security director at the airport, Bob Ellis, called Thomas last week to apologize. He gave Thomas the name of the agency's customer service representative, in case he has a problem at the airport in the future.

Afterward, Thomas said he appreciated Ellis' call. He said he had no interest in pursuing the matter further or in filing a lawsuit.

"I'm just looking for things to be done right," he said. "And I just want to make sure this isn't done to anyone else. Just abide by your standard operating procedures."

-Written by Daniel Rubin