Nanana nananana nanana nanannana....zubzzzzz!!!!

first of all, wanna say that i am realli realli impressed with the concept/idea of the whole event and how it was run so well by the teroka seni team (5 members were from silat...baik NUS silat!!!!! haha) and of coz, the station masters who were all friendly and warm in passing knowledge of seni to the participants. Of coz the facis rock!!! hahahhaha but most importantly...all the participants from the various schools bonding together, being so semangat and sporting :) juz to see everyone enjoying themselves, being gila2, getting to know more frenz and juz having a great time realli gave me the satisfaction of deciding last min to be a faci despite my broken arm :) no regrets!

special mention to my group...Zubir Said!!! powerlah u all! i was realli amazed lah dat altho dey came from diff schs (betol2 north, south, east west) - choa chu kang, riverside, victoria, canberra and bedok north - dey managed to click so well together...yay! and dey were so semangat n enthu! and dat all of dem could talk freely with us facis...was great dat there was no barrier or thinking we r too old...made it all the more fun! all so lame and gile and talking all the way, making jokes, nonsense remarks...and i tink they did the best in the last station during space jam. they cracked me to bits lah!!! hahahahhahahha so creative and funny! so enuff talk...here are the pics :)

Fikir dikir

After one dreadful week, im finally free from my sling and cast! had to endure fever, constant pain, limited movement, bengkak arm n fingers (my fingers looked like sausages over the weekend la!) hahaha ok lets rewind :p on valentine's day last wed, i broke my arm while doing ganda with faizola. Im realli appreciative of the silat pple who sent me to the hospital :)

wen i landed in a heap after a stunt went wrong, every1 crowded ard me. i wasnt realli in pain....more of a numbing sensation and kinda drowsy...den siti fairuz n faizola checked my arm...asked me to move my wrist and fingers and hence diagnosed that it wasnt broken! i felt relieved despite the pain...but wen we reached NUH, the nurse took one look and declared it broken. i was so crushed la....but faizola was there...dunno la he was like ruffling my hair, like he was a dad and im a small boy hahahahahaha and den he called my parents, called kamie, called lin, called the silat pple haha thx faizola! and while i took my x-ray seme, ahmad, nuraini, fairuz, kamie, fazli n izzati (who bought donuts 4 my parents n sis) waited outside...but i diden get to see dem :(

anyway...cut the long story short...x ray showed that both forearm bones were fractured n i had an operation dat nite jugak. i felt guilty for not taking care of myself n hav 2 go thru op again, incur costs 4 my parents, susahkan dorang, susahkan the silat pple yeah....n i dun get to play for ivp....again. but alhamdulillah its getting better and shd be back in action in 3 mths :)

juz wanna thank all those who helped me (mcm menang oscar pulak haha) especially my parents, those who sent me to the hosp and waited, those who came to visit the nez day (in order of appearance, sharil, lin, hafihz, firdaus, naufal, wan, maly, nad), hakim (who came at 6 and realised i was discharged oredi hahaha), those who wanted 2 come tapi i discharge tercepat sgt :p and a host of pple who have been taking care of me in sch the past 2 days :)

I noe its 1am in the morn...im supposed to be resting coz tmr gonna be a long long day. But this thought juz occured to me and i guess i shd pen it down (type it down in dis case haha) for my future reference.

We learn in qualitative inquiry that sociologists often construct research questions by reflecting on their biography, their history, their past & lived experiences. This engagement in self-reflectivity dictate the philosophical and intellectual position and how they see the social reality. I was tossing ard in bed hahaha (yes i do dat :p) and i was wondering why I feel so strongly about the SC3221 project that im doing with mas - Malay riders/bikers as a subcultural unit: Identity formation and gendered power relations. I mean, i don't even ride. I dont even fit the bill as a mat motor haha i only have several friends who are from biker gangs.

The identity formation as a marginalized group thingy berjingy and the sense of belonging struck a cord. I was looking back into my biography and realised that all my life, ive always been deviant. A Chinese looking Malay. Pple say that its not bad...im unique etc But ive been outcasted and labelled many2 times in the past. Like 'budak cine ni tau solat ke tak' or 'kau melayu ke cine'..or whisper as i walk past...i dunno... it can be called being overly sensitive, but i juz couldnt find myself fitting in. To be with the Malays or hang out with the Chinese. An identity crisis of the sort. Or when i was in Silat when i was young, i just diden fit. i found myself excluded from the others wen my best fren left. i then lost interest...

But wen i entered JC, i suddenly found myself emersed in Malay related activities, i got really close to my group of frens and fellow exco members. i dunno, i feel like i finally belonged. And maybe this sense of belonging and finding an identity within the group makes me more appreciative of many close groups i began to develop the past few years. I may not be the life of the party but i know dat i belong, i care for them and they do me...I help to the best of my ability and know that they will be there wen i need them - the kambingz, my NS squad mates, the library gang, K2P and the many individuals ive developed a close affinity (correct word? haha) with...jannah, lin, hudee, nurul, mukmin :)

Maybe, this need for belonging, this need for identity actually drives how i look at things, how i do things. Maybe thats why im nice...maybe thats y i want pple to feel good abt themselves and about me. Maybe dats y i get affected if pple dislike/hate/dont appreciate me. Maybe i juz wanna touch the hearts of the pple i meet. Maybe thats y im the way i am...the lil me, the nice me...

How much more could you expect than to have a fire breaking out in your blk? haha it was realli an experience...the panic, the anxiety, the talking with neighbours (whom ive nvr spoken 2 b4 :p)

I was at home wif my mom when we smelt sumthing burning. I mean normally its no big deal coz usually the Chinese pray and burn incense. And then someone shouted FIRE! and like we both terkejut la...so i went out 2 check and saw smoke billowing out from the window of a flat a few stories right under us. That was when panic struck...my mum was already running round the house, getting her bag...switching off the switches and me running ard closing some of the windows. By then, smoke started to fill our house and realli felt the heat picking up. Once outside the house, we met this makcik...she was crying coz she was so scared. Others cant realli be bothered. I met this man who wanted to go down via the lift. I told him the fire was right beneath us...juz beside the lift...and he juz gave me this heck care look. sheesh.

So being trained in police hahaha i got those who were on my floor to take the staircase furthest from the fire. Well some diden bother goin down...so i diden realli bother with them. At the ground floor...like all normal singaporeans, crowds began to form. I duno but i felt the police and firemen arrived kinda late la...hmmmmmm but was scary la..to see all the smoke coming out. What was even worse was that it belonged to my fren's hse. Den i was like calling his hp ahh alhamdulillah i ltr saw him near the fire engine...realli glad he was OK. :) ahakz...the drama diden end there. Word got round that there was a small boy still in the burning flat...and firemen were rushing, getting the ladder. den the fire hose...the water diden come out. reali realli scary. But everythin turned out well..the fire was contained, the boy was safe and everyone else in the surrounding area managed to get out of their houses fast. Im realli thankful that the pple from the neighbouring flat were alert la... :)

after the chaos...we went back to our unit and found it all in smoke and soot. Den town council, HDB and even the MP came to visit hahaha and i oso met my ex-boss back in NS. He was so surprised to see me haha small world :p And also saw some familiar faces doing cordoning off duty.

Ahhh been cleaning the house for like 4 hrs...im so tired......