Everday is A Day Filled with Hope

It's 2 more days to the end of 2010, and 'Hello!' 2011!

I'm really getting all excited about this new year that's fast approaching. But I guess before I go anticipating what will happen in the coming year and setting down New Year's Resolution, I'll have to first thank God for His ever-faithfulness for everyday of 2010.

The most significant happening in 2010 would probably be transiting from Poly to Uni. A whole new beginning at NIE. Have I recounted the many hiccups I experienced in the application process, but still God brought me through it all? I definitely wouldn't have made it if it had not been his favour upon me. Undeserving favour, I must say.

2010 wasn't the easiest year. Many instances of failure and disappointments, frustrations and all over again. A year of great struggle to stay afloat and true to the things that I do. Yet nontheless, time and time again, God came through in the most beautiful way. His timely words of encouragement, or just simply a reassurance of His presence kept me going. And I know I wouldn't be standing here at the end of the year, giving thanks if not for God's faithfulness and goodness to me. What can I say but that because I serve a good God, everyday is a day that is filled with hope.

Lord,

Even as the year comes to a close, I want to thank You. Remembering Your love, Your kindness and grace upon my life. Thank You for not letting me go. The countless times I failed and messed up, thank You for not turning away. The times that I was faithless, thank You for remaining faithful. The times when my commitments fell to nought, I apologise and thank You for that second chance.

In the last days of 2010, Lord I'm overwhelmed by the goodness of You. And I wonder, God how could You still love me above all I've done? At this, the more my heart is convinced that Lord, this life belongs to You. I wouldn't be where I am without Your saving grace. Thank You for seeing beyond my faults and shortcomings, and loving me anyway. Where would I be without You Jesus?

As a new year dawns, I choose to commit this life to You once again. Say "Lord, have Your way in me, have Your way." I can't promise that I'll be good all year round, but this year I give to You, with the help of Holy Spirit, I will choose to run Your way. Come, make me all that You want me to be.

Yay, I love you Jesus. Thank You for this life and a hope renewed each morning!

For You
Give me strength to live for You
The courage to stand for You
Needing the grace to shine for You
A heart to worship You
Strengthen these hands to reach for You
And these feet to go for You
Place in me a compassion to love like You
And a hunger for more of You

Knowing The One I Love

The time has come to take a step
To cross over, it's now the time
At this step I draw a line
Behind me, my finger cross the sands
A few steps forward I might stumble
I might fall, face down to the ground
But this I have decided in my heart
I'm not looking back, no retreating
Pressing forward to meet with you
To know you, the One I love

Trust in The Lord

Just in case you did not know, I am now officially a student of the National Institute of Education (NIE) and a teacher-in-making!

Ever since I graduated from Secondary School, I knew God had placed this call upon my life; a call to serve the youths in this nation. I know how the call sounds grand and everything, but trust me, it has been a struggle. From feelings of inadequacy to battles with unforseen circumstances, I have fought the good fight and am now on my way to realising the destiny of which God has called me to.

Well, its not exactly as easy as it sounds.

Walking in the will of God is a scary thing. Your final destination is sometimes kept a secret and you never know where it is until you get there. When God gave Abraham a great promise of blessing, all God told him was this: "Take your family and go." Go where? Just go.

I guess this is where the struggle lies. We are always eager to know what is God's destiny for us. What exactly is His will for our lives? Facing so many uncertainties that lie ahead, a battle rages in our heart and in our mind and we hesitate to let God be God in us.

But the only thought that could keep us focused is this: that God is faithful, He is good and His mercy endureths forever. He is not only the Lord of the universe, but our Father who loves us dearly. If He could send His one and only begotten Son to die on the cross for our redemption, what other good will He hold back from us?

The Bible in Proverbs 3:5-6 says: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight".

As I embark on this journey to realising my calling with God, this commonly quoted verse jumps out at me and begins to make more sense than before. Perhaps it will take a lifetime for me to understand/know the Lord's will in my life, yet, I want to be able to trust in Him with all my heart and to acknowledge that 'He is God' in all my ways.

Labour Not in Vain

My 2-month break has finally arrived and I'm totally enjoying whatever time I have on hand. Honestly, the break hasn't been much of a slacking with my Math Qualifying Test up and coming, and not forgetting the exciting Edge Musical happening this Sunday.

But I must say, God has been good. He has helped me to make every single day count. Be it a productive morning of mugging or a fun time building props as the Sun hangs at its highest. Oh, how I really love this long-awaited holidays.

Before I tuck my head back to adding the finishing touch to my props, perhaps the time has arrived to put some thoughts into material.

Recently, there has been a few gatherings with my schoolmates and it is funny how everybody seems to know me for always being busy with church meetings or working on some church activity/event. Somehow, it is an undeniable fact, serving in a church who always has its heart on its people. And I am sure glad I have the honour to serve in such measures!

1 Corinthians 15:58 "Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labour in the Lord is not in vain."

Being only human, there are times when the busy-ness can get overwhelming and the expectations to meet seem a far off. There also those times of unspeakable fatigue where the temptation to drop the ball lingers heavily at the back of your mind.

Yet this verse often returns to me as an assurance to know that our labour in the Lord is not in vain. The spurge of strength we need comes from knowing that the Lord is watching over us and the labour of our hands. I am glad that all I am doing does not amount to nothing, but the Lord sees and rewards us according to His riches.

Let us be careful not to let our service to Him end up in murmurs and complaints. But when we are weary and heavy-laidened, let God be our supply of energy and our hiding place. His hands are extended to those who needs a place to rest their heads. After all, the ministry is the Lord's!

At Youth Camp 2010, Pastor Chad Veach shared a point-of-view that has changed my idea forever - "Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord". To wait upon the Lord is to serve the Lord as a waiter does.

Feeling tired? Don't give up but continue to wait upon the Lord!

Love Song

You walk on waves
You run with clouds
You paint the skies
For me to see
Your Majesty, Your Majesty
It's what I say

This is a love song to You
My life's a love song to You

More Beautiful You - Jonny Diaz


Little girl fourteen flipping through a magazine
Says she wants to look that way
But her hair isn't straight her body isn't fake
And she's always felt overweight

Well little girl fourteen I wish that you could see
That beauty is within your heart
And you were made with such care your skin your body and your hai
rAre perfect just the way they are

There could never be a more beautiful you
Don't buy the lies disguises and hoops they make you jump through
You were made to fill a purpose that only you could do
So there could never be a more beautiful you

Little girl twenty-one the things that you've already done
Anything to get aheadAnd you say you've got a man but he's got another plan
Only wants what you will do instead

Well little girl twenty-one you never thought that this would come
You starve yourself to play the part
But I can promise you there's a man whose love is true
And he'll treat you like the jewel you are

So turn around you're not too far
To back away be who you are
To change your path go another way
It's not too late you can be saved
If you feel depressed with past regrets
The shameful nights hope to forget
Can disappear they can all be washed away
By the one who's strong can right your wrongs
Can rid your fears dry all your tears
And change the way you look at this big world
He will take your dark distorted view
And with His light He will show you truth
And again you'll see through the eyes of a little girl

You Are Everything

When every step is so hard to take
And all of my hope is fading away
When life is a mountain that I can not climb
You carry me, Jesus carry me.

[Chorus]
You Are strength in my weakness
You are the refuge I seek
You are everything in my time of need
You are everything, You are everything I need

When every moment is more than I can take
And all of my strength is slipping away
When every breath gets harder to breathe
You carry me, Jesus carry me

[Chorus]

I need You
You are everything I need
I love everything about You

[Chorus]

Take the Coal, Cleanse My Lips, Here I am
Kutless - Take Me In

15 April 2010, Thursday, 7.30pm. A Breezy Night.

After countless attempts to fix a dinner appointment with the class, we finally settled for a mini gathering with the girls first. Even though only four of us turned up for the date, it did not stop us from having a jolly good time. You know how it is like when crazy girls get together - they do wild stuff, demurely (well not exactly demure)

We had a good meal at the good old Kenny Rogers, Suntec City. Both Claudia and myself were starving to the point of passing out, we decided we'll camp at the nearest restuarant that catches our sight. There it was, Kenny Rogers' Roasted Chicken. The thought of that succulent chicken sent us running into the food store. We were so hungry, we couldn't even wait for Clarene to arrive before we started.

Then Clarene joined us for dinner while Kim came a little later all the way from Johor Bahru. I'm still so touched at the thought that she came straight from the custom checkpoint for us! (Actually, her home is so close to Malaysia, it shouldn't have been too much of a longer travelling distance). In any case, Kenny Rogers didn't disappoint us, besides the fact that they do not serve desert.

After a hearty meal, we were all ready for desert! But guess what? We forgone ice cream & cakes for some fun by the Fountain of Wealth. I still can not believe we did that. But the fun that we had by the fountain was really what made the night an enjoyable one.

Like a typical bunch of crazy girls on the loose, Kim whipped out her camera and 'shot down' memories that are still etched in my mind right now as I type. So much for dressing-up, we took shots that were unglamarous and unlady-like. Jumping and kicking around, that's what we are best at doing!

Clarene's yoga-meditating pose, Kimmy's ninja flying kicks and claudia's looking-pretty poses, we caught it all in just a snap! And these will remain forever. Now ladies. We better meet up often, or else I shall take your most unglam shot (probably the fish-eye effect one) and blow it up 10 times.

Not to mention, those who weren't there, don't think you can escape me threats, cause I'm sure I can find some awkward shots of you too. Afterall, we've been together for three years! So make sure we go out soon again!

Thank God for classmates like you!

Giants in the Spirit

Psst! Want to know of a little secret of mine?

Okay, maybe I can't really call it a secret since most of you would probably know this - I hate rats/mice/hamsters, whatever you want to call those scary-looking fur balls. Just the mere thought of rats makes me squeal and shiver.

I know I always exaggerate, but not this time. I really dislike rats, they freak me out quite badly. Yes, just the sight of it can send me screaming and running in the opposite direction! (Mickey & Minnie are an exception since they don't look anything like the real thing. So, if you want to take me to Disneyland, it won't be a problem. I'll gladly accept the offer!)

Ironically, I've actually learnt a great lesson from the various frightening encounters I had with these monsters.

If you've ever been around the Toa Payoh neighbourhood, you'll probably notice that its almost like a rat haven! They are everywhere! Okay, I mean everywhere hiding in the bushes, drains, and rubbish cans.

There is this particular stretch of walkway in front of my block that I hate walking along when I return home at night. This is where you always get sudden ambushes from rats that dash across your path and leave you looking like a fool when you start jumping and running around to get away from it! Eeeks. I remember experiencing one of those ambush and I was screeching and hopping in front of a group of strangers. Uncool! Embarrassing!

So now, every time I approach this walkway, standing in the face of fear, I will have to make some crucial decisions that might shake the Heavens and the Earth:

I. Turn and walk the longer way
This is always the easier option since it saves me from all the uncertainties and puts my mind at ease 'cause I can be sure the monsters won't jump at me.

To take the easier way out, I end up walking on the path I am not meant to be walking upon. But instead, I strolled along the broad walkway which doesn't take me home directly; bringing me on a detour. On top of that, I will never be an overcomer since I always chicken-out even before trying.

Living as a loser? Method I. should not even be an option!

II. Walk the path and deceive myself those rats aren't there
If someday you pass by my block, and see a silly-looking person walking with her chin high, high up and walking hastily remember to wave and say 'Hi!'. That weird girl will probably be me, living (or walking) in denial. On days when I mask up enough courage to walk that road, I will walk looking high up the blocks or even into the sky with an 'Ostrich Mentality'. As long as I don't see the rats, they are not there.

As a result when they actually start squeaking and again appear before me, I will be off doing my uncool tap dancing!

Obviously, Method II. doesn't work either.

III. Stomp my foot as I walk and scare all the rats away/Tail someone!
This is indisputably the best method to overcome fear! Now when I walk along the path, I stomp my feet across to scare the rats back into their mouse holes even before I am anywhere near them. Works the same when I tail behind someone along the walkway, wise mice will learn to hide when they hear the giants!

As such, I don't have to be afraid of encountering these monsters and at the same time, be able to walk along my destined walkway. I can't describe to you how good it feels to be able to overcome your fear. It's not that I can now come face-to-face with a rat, but knowing that I'm the ultimate giant and I have greater power then they do, tell me who's the daddy now! Ha!

Fear is something inevitable for every ordinary being. Yet, in the face of fear, we need to know that we are giants in the spirit. Obviously not because we are big in ourselves, but because we're backed by a God who has all authority in Heaven and on Earth! Stomp your feet and send the devil runing back to his mouse hole!

All For Love the Heavens Cried, for Love was Crucified

I see, here comes the blogging season again! It's funny how the urge to blog is seasonal in me. These fingers will cease from tapping on this keyboard for months before it floods this blog with thoughts all at once!

So we're entering the want-to-blog mood again. But no one can tell how long will this last before we put this blog back to sleep; so much for neverleftbehind - this blog is definitely lagging behind. But while it lasts, let's try to make this good!

The best weekend had just passed. To most, this long weekend was probably but a good break. But for those of us who understands and celebrates the reason behind Good Friday, let our hearts be full of gratitude, and our mouths be filled with praise once again.

Because of Good Friday and the love that was crucified this day, I am now able to stand freely in the presence of God knowing that His death has brought me life. For something that took place some two thousand years ago, it's often easy to forget the work on that cross that gives us the priviledge of standing upon this salvation.

"When I consider your Heaven, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him? - Psalm 8:3-4

It always amazes me to know that the God who spoke the entire universe into being, who measures the universe by the span of His hands, could love us enough to forsake the comfort of His majesty in Heaven. He took the humble place of a man and died the death that only the worst criminal deserved; though He was blameless and spotless as a lamb. He paid the price for your sins and my sins with His precious blood.

My limited mind can never come to comprehend the measure of His love. How such a BIG God who counts the billions of stars and who calls them by name could look upon someone as insignificant as me. More than that, His thoughts toward you and me are precious and they are as numerous as the sand on the seashore. Because of love so magnificient, He gave His life that we may live.

"Jesus said 'I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life. No one comes to the Father except through me'" - John 14:6

God's love so great, He does not want to be eternally seperated from us and sends Jesus to bring us back to Himself. Jesus came as the ultimate sacrifice upon the cross that enabled us, a sinful man, to come back to a Holy God as His blood covers us and washes our sins away.

"Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." - Hebrews 12:2

Jesus was humiliated and beaten beyond recognition. He was tired. He was hurting. If He could, He wouldn't want to walk the path of the cross. But He knew His death would bring us life, and that became His joy and source of strength as He endured the cross; a cross that was rightfully ours.

Each time I remember the cross I would be overwhelmed by the love of God and this heart of mine would begin to sing a heartfelt song of thanksgiving for all He has done for me.

My friend, Jesus came to die for you because He loves you.

Living He Loved Me, Dying He Saved Me
Glorious Day - Casting Crowns

Howdy!
Hasn't it been a real long time? I actually almost forgot I am the owner of neverleftbehind; an avenue for my rants and gashing river of thoughts.

Year 2010 has certainly been a very good year for me. God's favour, goodness, mercy, His kindness has been overflowing in abundance in my life. I'm so grateful to be called His daughter.

This is a season of beautiful endings and great beginnings.

You need to congratulate me and all those who have now (unofficially) graduated from polytechnic; we are the victors of a fierce 3-year battle with projects, exams, more projects and attachments! Okay, it wasn't that bad. I actually really enjoyed my years in Ngee Ann, problem is, it went by too quickly. Now that I'm working, I miss schooling. Shall we reminisce a little bit?

First day of school, stepped into BCA class, late, and stared in the faces of weird people. I thought 'oh no, this is going to be a bad class!'
Why?
I saw intimidating people with glowing gold hair, blue hair, and some real fierce-looking ladies. But guess what, these people turned out to be a very important part of my life in NP. God must have directed all the nice people into my class! We set our lunch routines together, copied one another's notes, skipped the boring lectures together, did ushering together, crash through the nights before exams and project deadlines. Oh, and took weird photos together too.



I always can't help but start smiling when I think about how we would specially gather back in school on a holiday just to select our timetables together to ensure we end up in the same class. See, I'm smiling to myself again.

Well, apparently our cohesiveness attracts weird people (haha!). We had some funky people came in in the later semesters. And of course, it wasn't long before we all became one. Aw, I love my class!

I really thank God for each and everyone of these who He has so divinely placed in my life. Perhaps meet-ups would become more difficult than it used to be as we deviate into the different walks of our lives, nonetheless I am grateful for the friend each one of them has been to me.

What Do I Know of Holy? Addison Road
A very beautiful song I chanced upon at www.1faithfm.com

I made You promises a thousand times
I tried to hear from Heaven
But I talked the whole time
I think I made You too small
I never feared You at all No
If You touched my face would I know You?
Looked into my eyes could I behold You?

(CHORUS)
What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

I guess I thought that I had figured You out
I knew all the stories and I learned to talk about
How You were mighty to save
Those were only empty words on a page
Then I caught a glimpse of who You might be
The slightest hint of You brought me down to my knees

(CHORUS)
What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

(CHORUS 2)
What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of wounds that will heal my shame?
And a God who gave life "its" name?
What do I know of Holy?
Of the One who the angels praise?
All creation knows Your name
On earth and heaven above
What do I know of this love?

(CHORUS)
What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion?
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean?
Are You fire? Are You fury?
Are You sacred? Are You beautiful?
What do I know? What do I know of Holy?

What do I know of Holy?
What do I know of Holy?

Did You Hear The Ice Cream Man?

I was sitting at my dinning table just the other night. Then a familiar ring echoed in my corridor breaking the silence of that night.

"Ringgg! Ringg! Ice c-leamm (ice-cream)!"

The low and hoarse voice of a stranger jolted back familiar scenes from childhood. Like every other typical kid, the tingling sound of that shiny ice-cream bell will get every nerve and blood cell dancing within that puny body of mine! I will leap onto my feet, prance a 3-step happy dance before running around the house looking for my aunt. When it comes to ice cream, it didn't matter if the cousins were fighting over the same toy train, we will immediately drop the toy and unite our efforts to ask for that dollar so that we can have our ice cream.

And of course, it didn't matter if my aunt was engaged with housework or just spending her leisure time before the television, we'll still charge towards her asking in a sugar-coated excited voice, 'Can we have ice cream please?'

As I reflected upon these childish incidences and our reactions every time we hear the ice cream man, I begin to draw parallel of this to the coming of our Saviour.

I believe that Jesus is coming back again. The signs of His coming as written in the Bible are coming to past and it is hard not to believe that the time is drawing near. We don't know the exact time and hour that Jesus will come back, but only the Father knows. Just like in our anticipation of the ice cream man, we do not know what time he will drive by, yet we are confident that he will come by. Mr. Ice Cream Man knows there are little children in these blocks waiting eagerly to hear the jingling of his ice cream bells.

In the same way as how we would await the ice cream man with a penny in our palms, ready to receive a cup-full/bread-full of chilling vanilla scoop, would we also be ready in our lives to receive the Lord when He returns?

Are we living our lives holy and setting ourselves apart from the patterns of this world, so that when the Groom comes knocking in the middle of the night, the bride would not be caught off-guard, not ready to receive her King. Instead, let the Groom when He comes, look upon a bride who is Holy and blameless. And this boils down to the every decision that we make from this moment on to live for Him in the hope of His coming, or live like there's always tomorrow to atone for today.

A Step Closer

You asked: "How was corporate Sunday?"
I replied with an excitement ringing in my voice: "It was a blast!"
Pinching your brows together, you asked: "The music?"
"Yes! Yes!" I exclaimed. "Music was great, place was nice, atmosphere was awesome!". Then I pause and took a deep breath before continuing "but what God did within me was THE BLAST!"

Indeed, God did an amazing thing in me on Sunday. Not just because it was a special, corporate Sunday, but because He knew I needed that breakthrough.

From that day we made the decision, to follow the cross before us and leave the world behind us, we all know we've had times we struggled to keep afloat. How often thoughts of throwing in the towel rages in our mind, and feeble hands and feet threaten to give way at any one moment. Your heavy feet will always tell you the pastures are greener on the other side; on the well-trampled walkway, the one that's wide and easy to walk upon.

There has been countless occasions that I've cried and wished this path I'm taking could be cemented with more mercy; That choosing to take up our cross and follow Him didn't have to cost us so much. The convictions and standards that we root our feet upon are certainly not the easiest to uphold. And those decisions we make are not always our heart's desires.

So you must be thinking, these Christians must be such fools to choose the harder route. Haha, I wouldn't deny that sometimes I do feel like a fool. There were many occasions where I could choose to make things a lot easier for myself if I had just said yes to a drink, or smile-off a swear word and pretend it didn't matter. Maybe make some bad remarks and join in the gossip about someone else so I could be accepted and be a part. But I still prefer to remain stubborn about my convictions; no means no

But if you asked me have I ever regretted I made this decision to be a follower of Christ, I would tell you without any hesitation, never.

Even though the storms have hit a thousand times, and in those times it felt like God was nowhere to be found, the truth is - He never left. Even though I have fallen and failed, messed up a million other times, His river of mercy never runs dry.

For a season of time before Sunday, I carried a heavy heart everywhere I went. It felt like I have lost that passion and love for God that keeps me running. Just when I thought, that's it, I have lost my grip, His wings swept from beneath me and there I was riding on the air currents under His refuge. I think I have forgotten to lean not on my own strength but on God who has promised He will be the One that carries us through both the good and bad times.

Even though there is a price to pay when we choose to follow Jesus, but the reward that awaits us at the end of our race supersedes the cost. Furthermore, He never meant for us to walk alone, He has made us to sit upon His shoulders, and depend on Him.

When I am weak, then I am strong. Because God He is the One that'll give us the strength to live for Him.

He'll Take You Back, Always.
I'll Take You Back -Jeremy Camp

It seemed like just yesterday, when you were standing beside me.
Your smile resides in my head, what a joy like I've never seen, shine from within your heart.
Wasn't it just yesterday, you came up to me with a mouth full of dreams and a heart full of hope; you told me all you wanted to do, and all you wanted to become ever since you've welcomed His grace into your life.

Yes it felt like only yesterday, we spoke and laughed.
Talked about things of His kingdom, chatted about the other things of life.
It was an unspeakable joy watching you grow and learn each day.
Didn't it all felt like only yesterday?

You laughed, you cried.
You struggled, you fought.
You fell, and stood up again.

Why? On the narrow road, do I only see your beautiful footprints of joy
Why? On the narrow road, do I only sniff a trace of your hopeful scent
Have you lost your way?
Have you given up?
Have you decided you're turning around and walking the other way?
Have you seen, He's still watching over you.

He has seen you bury your cries in the darkest of night, those other times when you went to bed with a million questions on your mind: Why does your heart hurt with every thump and your mind feel the like-state of a whirlwind?

He stands at the entrance of that familiar door, that door you've once known.
Behind those doors, you've once danced to a freedom song and hum the tune of His favourite love song. Where you tumbled upon your first babysteps, muttered your first few words.

That familiar door that you know.
That familiar house you loved.
There He waits.
There He stands.
From dawn to dawn, He watch and waits.
A longing that day that you find your way home.
Awaiting that day that He'll be able to wrap His arms around you again, whisper to you 'my child, everything is okay now'

He wants you to know,
You've not gone too far. Nowhere is too far for His hands to reach you.
You've not fallen too hard. No fall is too hard that He can't lift you up again.
He wants you to know,
He still loves you.
And He'll will take you back, always.

So will you come home today, and come home running into His embrace?
Come home running, cause His arms are still open wide for you.