Love is.

Love is Patient, Love is Kind.
It does not Envy, It does not Boast, It is not Proud.
It is not Rude, it is not Self-Seeking, It is not Easily-Angered.
It keeps no records of Wrongs.
Love does not Delight in Evil but Rejoices with the Truth.
It always Protects, always Trust, always Hopes, always Perservere.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Living on The Edge

Once again, one of my many breaks after what seems like long hours of revision. Blogging is my best solutions to get away from those books. I'll rattle a little like an old woman, let off some heated stress from within and then, I promise, I'll be back to my books again.

Well, it's multiplication big time for this youth ministry. And now, we're moving from plans and plain talking, to solid action, sweeping everyone off their feets. Well, this phrase's almost literal; evident at caregroup on Tuesday. I can totally relate to those worried faces and jumpy anxiety rush. The exact same thing shot through my blood stream when I finally grasp the idea.

Yes, hectic but nonetheless, e-x-c-i-t-i-n-g! When you're in this ministry and work under our awesome youth pastor, you know there's no such things as empty talks. He does almost everything he says. So you understand, 300 net leaders will not be raised up unless we start multiplying our nets, and multiplying quick:)

I've too learn in this process that we're all on the job learning, all possible with a heavy dosage of faith and a high dependency on the Master of all plans, Him. Honestly, I am incompetent when it comes to overseeing and planning for big things like this. Haha, I'm more of a person that sees details. But I know, this ultimately is not, and never about me. It's His plans, His purposes. I'm existent merely as His hands and feets.

So let's recognise together that afterall, it's not about us or how well we can execute the plans. It's about God and His big plans for our generation:) And all this is for His glory, and His glory alone. Therefore fellow 'runners' in this race, don't give up but press on to see this vision of 300 nets come to past. Be on the edge of things, in the frontiers of this region. Challenge your own faith and ask God for eyes to see the possibilities of not what we are capable of, but what He's capable of. This faith-filled ministry is going to spice up your life;) (U-hem, definitely spicier than Life4Dead)

Till My Heart Overflows

It's been 2 days since I touched my laptop. Haha, all because I've been trying really hard to stay focused so that I could study. After 2 days of 'dieting' from my Fujitsu, I'm back, blogging. Totally feel like chopping my head off, but can't bring myself to do it. Any takers? Okay, I was just kidding!

It was a long day out today, and so you bet, I accomplished nuts in my revision. I think I really need a hard knock on the head. Someone needs to shake me up of those sleepy, lazy dust and force some focus down my throat. It's never been like this before:( Yes, I'm super upset with myself. It's one of those times you keep telling yourself I'll catch up tomorrow with what I didn't cover today, but each day, the list gets longer. It seems almost impossible to get back on track. Please, I need momemtum and to sense the urgency of the hour.

Okay, so I'm not going to procrastinate anymore. I shall burn the midnight oil and make sure I'm back on track. Bye now, I'm going to fight the lazy bug and its evil army!

God, be my strength and my guide, I pray. Guard my heart with Your peace that surpasses all understanding. Help me to stay focused, grant me the discipline and focus that I need dear Lord. Holy Spirit, lead me through.

Only You Can Make Me Whole

Happy Valentine's Day dearest. This special day does call for a post. Not because I have an exciting date to tell you about. Well, even if I said I had a date, no one believes me.

You see, I tried really hard to look convincing, then tried mentioning I have a date, the youths will roll their eyes saying "whatever Carmen" or "yah, with God right". So you see, I'm really deem a nun, ready to be left on the shelf and I'll probably marry no one but Jesus.

Okay wait, not that I'm sad or anything. There's nothing wrong with being single, in fact it's awesome being single. So all the singles out there, don't worry yes, you're the most attractive thing ever. God can be your valentine, cause He was mine today:)

Beside it being a special day for lovers, it is Joy Leong's Tweenteenth Birthday. Before I move on, I'll clarify, I didn't fail my spelling test. Joy just loves it this way. Haha, she wants to defend her status of a teen-ager. It was really funny how my net sang a simple happy birthday for joy with a half eaten pandan cake! Sorry Joy, nothing extravagant but you know the net and I love you:) Happy birthday dear.

And of course, Franklin, I haven't forgotten. Happy Birthday faithful one:) Stay tough!

On sadder note, Alicia flew to Melbourne today to start her 6 years medicine course in Monash. And I'm going to miss her and her yummy cakes. Although she wasn't very close the youths, I sure grew to love this girl while she was with us in net. She's really one sweet lady:) My biggest regret as I watch her leave today, was that I didn't spend enough time with her; getting to know her and encouraging her. So my prayer is that God will send someone alongside her, even where she is, to guide her in the His ways. Yes, that she will come to love Him more each day. God, be with her, draw her near to You.

I'm Singing

I'm human, Stretched thin, stressed out
I'm human, With limited time and unlimited things to do
I'm human, With strength disappearing and weaknesses revealed
I'm human, As Discouragement barges in too
In a fit of impulse, wished I could drop the ball
Turn over the plate, now I'm raising my white flag
Cause I'm only Human, But that's when You are God

When I am weak,
That's when You're God and You are strong
When I can't go on anymore
That's when You're God and You carry me on
When I need a place to hide
That's when You're God and You offer Your wings of refuge
When I need a word of comfort
That's when You're God and You sing a love song over me

It's only human, that I will meet the valley
I'm only human, and far from perfect
But that doesn't cease my praises to my King
Because I believe in Your faithfulness,
Your lovingkindness and Your greatness
I will cling on to You, trust in You
even in the darkest moment, I'm still singing.

Not trying to hide anymore
Not doing this on my own again
For You search my heart
And You know my every moment
Undone I come before Your throne of Mercy
Confess that I'm nothing, nothing without You
Jesus won't You take this imperfect vessel
And use it as You will
Because today till forever more, I'm singing and still will be singing
Of Your wonders, promises and steadfast love

Create in Me A Clean Heart

Howdy! I'm now having my 2 week study break but I haven't started looking at the books, nor planned out my revision even though I've been telling myself everyday, I need to do up my revision timetable by 'tomorrow'. And somehow, this tomorrow never comes.

So you ask, what have I been doing then? On the contrary to studying, I have been out partying! No alcohol, wild dancing nor blasting techno. Just the companionship of some really awesome people:) Who says party has to be naughty? Haha, I had great fun, no hangovers the next morning, just sweet memories swimming in a clear mind.

Sushi Can Fly was awesome! Credits to Sharmian, Wong and gang. We spend Monday afternoon at Marina Barrage, soaking up the sun. Tuck and Jo Fu rented a car and we get to be driven around. It was fun, having a 7-seater packed with 9 youths. Their driving skills was, phew, literally breath-taking. So scary, it takes your breath away at every turn and brake:S

We had a sushi picnic, and some awesome kite-flying experience. Yes, I flew the first kite in my life:D You bet, I was happy. Although my kite didnt stay afloat for very long, it did fly! Seriously, it's not as easy as it seems. But all the more fulfilling when you finally see the kite ride on the wind. I'm already thinking about flying a kite again! Perhaps, I could bring keith when he's exams are over. (And I forgot to mention, I love Marina Barrage!)

Okay, then today. Yay, I went to watch movie with Kimmy and Claud, The Curious Case of Benjamin Buttons:) I know what's your reaction now okay; 'Wah, Carmen watching movie seh.' Yes, I watched a movie that even I myself couldn't see myself watching, and it was super niceee:) I'm so tempted to tell the story, but those who haven't watched forbids! Haha.

After movies and a short time of chilling with them, we walked over to Dhoby Ghaut where I hopped over to join the youths. You see, Lucien is leaving next Thurs for Aus, so it was a mini get-together. Though there was only a handful of us, Tau Huay and the companionship was enjoyable.

It was a good 2 days break for me, now studying starts tomorrow!

Pig, Is My Middle Name

I was looking forward to a no-school-day today, since there was no IEF lecture and I brought forward my presentation and finished it yesterday. But, projects had me coming back to school, and IEF special lecture. The class was extended the invitation for her lecture, how can we say no.

I have been feeling really lethargic of recent, like I said, I messed up my body clock. Not that I have been working hard staying up late. But just that I have been procrastinating so much. It is really saddening to stay up late into the night and realise, I didn't actually accomplished much. Ah! I need disicpline pills, any prescriptions?

I can't believe its only Tuesday today, the week is passing by so slowly. Maybe it's because I have been counting time by the minute. You know how that works. I want weekends to come cause I have no holidays to look forward to. Only, attachments.

Dear, I sound so negative:S Haha! No lah, I'm not having any depression, stress (perhaps only a little bit of that) or whatsoever. Just one of those dry days, where you wished you were snuggling in bed, resting:) That sounds, so nice!

Heh, okay lah, I won't deny any longer. I will confess it, I am pure lazy. Pig is my middle name:)

Use Me Lord, To Shine Your Light

It was Grandfather's birthday yesterday and my maternal family dined at the International Seafood Restaurant and Marketplace. I think I past by there on trips to east coast many times, but never took notice of that place. Until yesterday, until I set foot into the restaurant:)

The restaurant has an interesting concept. The first thing you see as you enter the place is a seafood marketplace. They have tanks full of live seafood and push-carts. Where we dine is further in, and its a really pretty place too. And the food is really good.

Grandfather's really looking very weak now. (Oh yes, that's my India Grandfather). Mum says he isn't old but is getting weaker by the day. Yesterday as I watched him move about slowly, I wished I could have time for him. I really wish to play a part as a granddaughter. But somehow, there seem to be a barrier to communications and we aren't close to start with.

I'm tuitioning Keith, my younger brother. It's not just about the money, but I'm glad I took the job because I'm seeing myself spending more time with him:) As a sister, you sure bet it is my desire to have an input in his life, and definitely watch him grow up. And pray, He'll learn the ways of God.

Well, God has been really faithful to me, I know He never fails. This is a new year, with new beginnings and many new things. Breakthroughs, challenges and victories. Definitely a year of harvest, I can smell the coming:) Anticipate people, be on the edge!