for You, i will.
with the swirls and the twirls, flips and jumps. and yes, you must have guessed it. i just came home from dance practice when the clock spelled 1040 or so, and i'd say we still have a long long way to go when performance is on saturday. bahh! costumes not ready, dance steps half way through, dancers almost there. dear me, we need abundance grace and a perfect smile:: D LOL! so if you see any of the eve-lings, wish us all the best. your encouragement is really what we need now, <3.

its the annual youth banquet this friday, and im looking forward to it:: ) seeing all the pretty faces in pretty dresses. haha, and how can anyone miss this; JL emcee-ing. please, everyone bring extra sweater and shawl cause he is going to freeze ohlio with all his cold jokes! LOL, and even if you dont find his jokes funny, laugh:: D haha, but of course i know he is going to do a great job lah. and so, JL heres a cheers to you, way to go brother! and remember to switch off the lights on saturday (insiders utmost confidential plan) ;; )

oh yes, and im paying ftp a visit on friday cause its teacher's day celebration. like after so so long, finally. and i just realise, my last visit was just national day:: X over exaggerating, bahh! to see the many familiar faces and of course, nice teachers. haha! oh yes, juniors are dancing too. thats the other super big thing to look forward to, <3.

okay people, im going to end here. i still have half the dance the brainstorm on and my cousin is chasing me out sooon, boo to evil cousins! and the little nice girl, that is me of course always have to give way. where, oh where is justice.

let me be Your arms that reaches, Your feet that goes all out. these lips to sing of Your praises, all the days of my life.

and i will run the race, till i see Your face

and it was a long long walk home, but i made it anyway. had caregroup at jeremy's place and it was a great get together:: ) uhh, i always like it when caregroups are held at homes. you just talk about anything under the sun/moon. and isnt it heavenly with bites of barbeque lays and home-prepared bannasplit! accompanied by a little of caleb's mischief and JL's so so cold jokes, brrr!

i have lost my motivation for blogging, uh i guess because exams are over. LOL, cause when you dont have to study, you dont give yourself the excuse to blog:: X but i know i have to account to you, and for you i am blogging:: D say im nice (okay, i heard you)

day out with my recess buddies, and fulltime girlfriends.

a birthday treat from huiling to fishhead steamboat at whampoa. it has been awhile since the three of us got together, and it surely was a great time we had. how much i have missed uniform days in ftp and the recess with all the good food that are so good. oh where, oh where is my chicken noodles and kwaychap.
anyway, i thank God for them for they are beautiful gifts. and as we begin to get busy with life and piling schoolworks, i continue to stay grateful for this love that has come my way. takecare much huiling and yihong, please know that you are missed and thought of. and pretty, more hangouts please<3.

working at waterfest, with the many new faces(missing darrius)



introduced by gary to the job at waterfest and it was a really cool thing. a first timer for such a job and it was quite a handful at first. but after awhile, it gets quite easy lah. and i meet new faces; gary's classmates(peiwen, cason, darrius) nice people. the other familiar faces, yihong and alan(my meighbour whom i never talk to). and overall job rate, absolutely great fun!

over the weekend, God did a great work in me. and i really thank Him for His faithfulness, i could almost visualise how he never fails to yield His ears towards me as i pray, and as i worship. and in the same way, i want to learn to yield my heart towards His and begin to catch His heartbeat and beat with it.

with every breath i take
i will live for You
with every step i take
i will gloify Your name
so let me shine for You
in this dying generation
with every breath,
that i take
i'll live for You

oh and did i tell you, eve is going to perfom again, at the dance fusion. this time its a double stress thing since its a public affair and we lack full force. but i really thank them for agreeing to do the dance. i know how it isnt easy to prepare and be able to coordinate everything within 2weeks, but their constant encouragment and seriousness has kept this thing going:: ) im really really proud of you, eve-lings. so lets step on the dancefloor and shine His glory. for i have seen, its beyond us, but let this dance be a worship unto Him<3.

uhh, what a long long post just for a long-time-no-update post. thank you people, for you are vital in making my life complete, you are the fuel that keeps this engine rumbling!

you opened my eyes to Your wonders anew, You captured my heart with this love. nothing on earth is as beautiful as You.

standing on this old desk, this little oil lamp shines
always had me wondering
what if the winds blew strong tonight
had i tucked my dad to bed
and kissed him on the forehead
had i warned him that bed bugs bite
and whispered 'daddy, goodnight'

always had me wondering
what if the oil dried up tonight
had i finished up my sentences
and signed off with great appreciation
had i send it off on a postman's bike
and remind him to get them to my friends on time

always had me wondering
what if the lights went off tonight
have this lamp shone brightly for men to see
the only way, the truth and the light
have it been reflecting forth its fullest glory
and had the master well pleased with its story

what if the winds blew strong tonight
and what if the oil dried up tonight
what if, what if
what if the lights went off tonight

summer has, come to past
inflation, fiscal policy, university of iowa, the ohio state model, law of tort, intellectual property, bank reconciliation, income statement and now i can bid goodbye to all this much studied terms cause its the ohh-so-good holidays! can you smell, can you feel it<3.


this is the debt that JL owed me:: ) my lovely heros disguised in common wear. haha! yes, these were the familiar faces at pizzahut and that made my day<3.

and beautiful gifts from all the beautiful ones:: )

honestly, i think im going to die on this super long holiday. no plans, no plans at all. and i guess dad must be really happy to see me at home everyday:: D and im just dating this little devil and my teevee everyday.

so, here you see me blogging so much more often. i'd probably need a double dosage of blogging in a day to kill all this time. and now im contemplating if i should go back to my old job, someone please give me some wise advice.

oh yes and before i forget, heres some birthday dedications:
happy belated birthday to kimberly david! haha, thank God for such a sweet heart like you in class:: ) haha, one that has little temper and one thats so hard to come by. love you big pretty. takecare and photos, i'l upload them soon!

and, happy birthday daisy! my boss in society:: ) and she self-proclaimed to be my angel. LOL, thank you for being such a sweet heart. have fun at dinner tonight, and playing your yahoo games. haha, you know that you're loved. God bless!

this is what carmen does when she is bored, a long long long post. stay faithful little ones, dont run away from my long long posts. haha! i'll try very hard to keep it short. LOL, takecare and you're greatly loved!

let not this heart turn solid like a rock, become indifferent to the wails of the sea. change this heart oh Lord, compassion once more.

love is in the air, the freshness that beats on the skin.

a post dedicated to a wonderful friend on her 17th birthday:

"i first started knowing her better during youth camp. back then, i only knew her as an ordinary, hi-bye friend. but after getting along with her more, i realise she is one girl with a big heart. she is seldom angry, even if she did, it is only for short-term. the most amazing thing is she is a great net leader, one who sets real life example for everyone. she has a magnanimous heart, so forgiving and worth admiring. i remember the times when i had problems, she was always there to console me, to assure me that i'm not alone and give me useful advices. her hugs are always so comforting that i yearn for more. her presence never fails to make my day, for she is ever smiling. this day will be the time i profess my heartfelt love to you, girlfriend."

you taught me to be inclusive, to be forgiving, to open up my heart. thankyou dearest.
13 Aug 07 - Happy Birthday Carmen.

adapted from celine tay's blog;
my dearest, dearest girl. thank you soo very much, i felt your great love and it has melted my heart. i love you too darling could i ever tell you how much i thank God for this friendship he bestowed to me:: ) mugg hard as the exams draw near and im sure you'd fly high with good grades. thanks sweets, the most encouraging thing on this planet, i love you!

and these, the many other words of encouragement, love, kindness, care and concern throughout the years:: ) and these, have sustained me and kept me moving along; thank you my dearest friends<3.

in a beautiful wrapping paper accompanied with a fanciful ribbon; He gave the best to me, and did i mentioned that it was you.

give thanks, with a grateful heart
it is a cold cold night
marred by the rain that knows no mercy
feelings of reminisce and maybe loneliness
shouldn't it be?

yet i stay up warmed by the love of many
as i scroll through my texts
again and again
ask me if i ever would grow weary of it
replied no and maybe you would never understand why
neither could i figure sometimes

close my eyes
bow my head
cross my fingers
with palms together

'oh Lord thank You for supportive friends
them whom i lean on when i grow weak
whose hands i catch when i slip

oh Lord thank You for a loving dad
his ways i sometimes cannot comprehend
but you opened my eyes to see beyond
and now i pray
give me the courage and the boldness
that someday i'll let love slip my lips

oh Lord i thank You for You
for Your grace, Your faithfulness and kindness too
Your strength i breathe on to face each day
Your promises i hold on to endure this race

oh Lord i pray these You'd hold in Your hands
and blow all the dusts of trouble away
keep them, love them, bless them
comfort them, be with them all the days of their lives'

unlock those fingers
opened my eyes
whispered my sign off
and sang this gratitude

amen

the must-have happy ending, thank you superman!

i know how i actually pronounced this blog temporary dead, but im just motivated to blog and i dont know why. maybe its due to the hour of the day; im now hearing the rumblings of the early first buses and i am still awake. it was actually my attempt to study and somehow, i side-tracked. see, its all this nasty monster's fault, or maybe its purely due to my lack of discipline:: D

uhh, but nontheless i know you are happy to hear from me again:: D yes, i am now officially seveteen years and three days old. on 130807, it was a great start but a bad day:: ( i guess i could only blame my special day to fall so close to the terrors; what else but exams. dad kept me home! i groaned and moaned, sobbed and blogged, boohoo!

i almost labelled it the worst day of my life till some heros and heroins came to my rescue:: ) thank God for my SCOs and thank God for regiondeee<3. they started and ended my special day, beautiful. and of course all the other faithful people, that flooded my inbox with great love. could i tell you how i sniffed and tried to smile at the same time when your texts came in, thank you.

SCOs came in the morning with a little surprise that dragged me out of bed; homedelivery of freshly baked(at 7am) cheesecake, mmm! thank you dearly loved, seah and poh.
oh, i'l skip the day and turn the clockhand till the skies are dark and the stars show up. i was suppose to accompany angie for dinner and ended up at pizzahut with all the other familiar faces; my superheros, regiondeee.

thank you, because every single one of you made my special day, special. whether was it a short and sincere phonecall, a beautiful text, uplifting comments online, or you just showed up straight in my face, i'd present to you a thousand heartfelt gratitudes:: )

but for now, i owe you pictures and i'l upload them pretty soon. maybe after those dreadful exams. and jinlun look here, you owe me pictures toooooo!

and the final countdown to exams: 1 day. Lord i pray let all the batteries in all the clocks in the whole wide world run dry now!

would you still stay with me dear friends, be irriatating and bug me to study! i might dislike you for now, but love you later:: ) just kidding lahh, of course i still love you all the way, no matter how irritating you get, LOL! at least i will try<3.

and due to excessive exam stress and lack of sleep,
i fainted
(even before i could sign off)

This day, the Lord has made.

crowned by the king in his highest authority

robed in the finest linen of royalty

the palace maids ran around like ants on a pan

for her dress, her comb and accessories

the mumurs of the villagers penetrated through the gates of the kingdom

words of anticipation and excitement

kings and queens came from across the waters and on their horses

to see this girl stained in royal blood

the people rejoiced and danced around the fire

they sang the happy song

clap their hands, stamp their feets and nod their heads

joyful, joyful were they

but it wasnt for long that the yearly rejoicing subsided

from how the whole city lit under the moonlight

from its hustle and bustle and songs of joyous celebration

to nothing, almost nothing

now the streets no longer glow

and the stars no longer seem to shine

the king had his kingdom affairs

and all that he had to see to

in her royalty sat her cold dinner

lying on precious felt on a beautiful glass table

the flight of stairs that took her to her room

seems longer than it used to be

climbing it took twice the effort as always

or was it twice her weight that she was carrying

she had been tired and sleepy from eyes that ran dry

that seem so hard to keep open

till she saw the only thing of which she took joy in

the 50 bottles with notes of best wishes and with love

though it was a mystery how those landed in her balcony
it may be her fairy godmother or a mighty knight on a unicorn

she was too astounded and dumfolded by the overwhelming love

captured in a bottle that seemed too small to contain

raised her hands and began to give thanks

to God of whom has showered her with blessings all her days

He had called her His

for the love in bottles that glowed in the gloom

was there anything more that she could ask for

she took out her feather quill and spilled her heart on paper

spelled gratitude and love with drowning eyes

signed off with great love and regards

your friend<3.

edited: corrected by uncle chua

the bell goes and the children screams, its recess time

hello there people, im here to announce the official break of this blog due to exams(actually more of it is due to my lack of revision). i wont be coming online as often or maybe not at all for the time being; and everyone goes 'oh mannnnnn.' haha! what else could i do, this little devil is my biggest distraction!

so, in the mean time keep missing me and yes, keep keeping me in prayers. phew, this stress is equivalent to that i had when i was taking my o's, seriously i dont know why. probably because the 'dragon' in dad has been awoken and for the first time in my entire school days, he's giving me some stress. LOL, but i guess its good lah, especially for a bumpy girl like me. i really need a big big shake:: D

countdown to exams: 4 days! who turned the clock hand, dear my!

in the meantime, takecare folks, please dont fall sick with an overdosage of me in your thoughts, its needless to say i know how much you will miss me:: X just kidding! same thing, mug hard lovely people, and goodnight<3>

take me under Your wings, from You i draw strength and boldness to face each day

its in my imperfection, that You are made God

its suppose to be my break from the books now, and i took a supposedly 15 minutes break which somehow became an hour's break, BOOHOO! oh dear, who am i to survive the battle of the most cruel exams when i lack the most crucial weapon; discipline. i need the cane, seriously.

i missed going with the dee'ers to watch fireworks yesterday night:: ( i wanted to go, but daddy said noo. but its okay lahh, i got good food in turn. mmmmm, asam fishy head and i shant go on just incase you wet your keyboard:: )

society had heritage trial on tuesday, the sound of it triggers your boredoom nerves yes, i understand. but still, i have to testify that it wasnt as bad as i thought. basically they make you walk around raffles place, esplanade and answer questions regarding Singapore. and guess what, i had a helpline; mummy!

honestly, i was quite awestruck at the certain things that i was 'forced' to take notice of. cant give you example, or you'll probably fall asleep on me:: D but definitely amazing, i like the fullerton hotel and the asian civilisations museum best! okay, i think i better not go on. haha! but in light of having national day just passed, i have to say this thank God im Singaporean<3>

one of the task, take a picture with people of 4 races with the statue, and we found a handful of kids from an international toddler school. arent they adorable, and dont you wish you were there:: D

group seven; seah wenjin. crystal poh<3.

and more of society; everybody:: )

okay, its time to go back to the books and be the ever-guai carmen i've always been(dont you dare giggle, BOO!) takecare and mug hard with me all you having exams soooooooon as well.

i pray, instill in me an unconditional love for my sheeps. teach me, what it means to leave the ninty-nine and go for the one sheep that has been lost.

tel me its not all about you ; exams!

edhhurehfurhfoqijdslsmlsamxzasxo!

okay, that was just oh well, for relieve and im over it already:: ) its been sometime since i last updated and so im here once again, missed me? LOL. this few days had been pretty bad, carmen whines and pouts, cries and whines again hoping that she can get away with all those notes and books:: ( but of course, it doesnt work and it has never worked, in actual fact.

countdown to exams: 9days!

but now that celine has agreed to be my study partner, not so much to fret about, at least i have someone there to push me. yes, push, that is what i really need. sooo remind me again, someone that i need to study, its a favour im asking from you:: D

wooshhh, got to run to meet nana heng and felice yap now, sudden date. its suppose to be 20minutes later, alamak. better fly now.

later<3.

and i saw two set of footprints; one belonging to me, the other to You.

sometimes i wished that blogger would have a service that could record down my thoughts. as in i could just channel my thoughts straight to the computer that would save me a thousand trouble of typing! okay, i just have to admit, im lazy. LOL!

well, i was school-less yesterday so met up with felice for some studying. uhm, productiveness was almost nil but i did enjoy myself great. its been a long long time. haha, it has gotten me to realise how much time less i have had to spend with these. but of course i am still treasuring and loving them.

was a great day society celebrated a birthday and we staged a quarel:: ) god job, elaineg fell for it wahaha! great actors we have here in society, LOL! and then we celebrated davids birthday, had great fun, and most importanmtly meeting up with the old friends, awww! david, en, yingmin, fish and huilingg! they went red with alcohol, i got drunk on chocolate!


the emo birthday boy; happybirthday dav!


all of us; my dear friends<3.
and so to two of these birthday kids, HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY:: ) hahah! may God bless you and yes, best wishes in everything that you do<3

life has been beautiful, cant be better than it already is. and this is all because i choose to live like another wouldnt come. i guess the loss of one sould has taught me alot about life and how unpredictable it can all get. yet it is not about how much longer i would live to see tomorrow, but what this life is all about. yet more importantly, to fulfill what God has for me in this life. and when He finally took me home, i could hold my head high and say 'mission accomplished sir!'

yet when i knew He had a great plan and purpose for my life, i knew i had something worth living for. He hadnt promised me great, smooth sailing and luxurious life. but He promised, He would always be by me, walk with me, carry me through. and i knew, i could hold on to His words; today tomorrow and forever.

im taking three thousand years to complete this post cause im doing so many things at one go:: D haha, so typical of me. oh well, its bedtime world, time for mama to tuck you in bed, sing you a lullaby and kiss you goodnight<3

thank You for you are always found not further than an armslength. Your faithfulness prevails.