'Without you in my life baby, I just wouldn't be living at all.'

Forever and ever babe.

I've been feeling quite horrible these past few days. been down with fever and a flu. Have been stuck in bed, constantly drugged and drowsy from all the medication that has been consumed. I feel slightly better now so that's a good thing :) my nose is still blocked and the world still spins when i get out of bed too fast but it's an improvement nonetheless :)

on a brighter note, tomorrow's the 16th ! time passes by so fast and just like that 2 years and 11 months have passed since that special call from her. not celebrating tomorrow though but instead next weekend. i am so so so so ( x infinity) so lucky and blessed.

anyway, i've bought 2 more books! and am so excited to read them! :)

It's been long since the last time i posted in this space. and i have no idea whether anyone has bothered to check this thing cause the freaking hit counter screwed up and showed me that 4o thousand people visited it. ya rrright. so i deleted it and installed a new one.

things have been pretty slow these past few weeks. have been going to work and stuff but life seems so dry and boring lately. i cant wait for the next phase of life to begin. i dont care what i dont care where. just start already. generally, my emotions have been in clear seas but hey, good things dont last long do they? it's amazing how my emotions can take a deep plunge so quickly and suddenly with just the mention of anything that might bring on negative thoughts. i fucking hate the way i'm so volatile and reactive. omg i sound like a freaking chemical. i can be so relaxed and calm one moment and without any warning the next moment, i could be fuming mad and freaking irritated at smthing you've said. i wish that i could control my emotions. tell them to go fly kite and stop bothering me. i wish sometimes that they wouldn't engulf me whole, restricting me from feeling the comfort and care that anyone else tries to provide. these emotions strangle me and bring me to a point of such vulnerability that i feel like slapping myself out of it.

i really wish i could grab them and throw them out so that maybe, i could think clearly.

and as ironic as it sounds. feel clearly too.

spending a day at home. with the guitar and 'sing you home.' waiting for her to return. Can't wait :)