1)the macaroni my mum baked is salty.
2)laptop is going to run out of batt soon
3) noran's friends are in the living room playing spongebob monopoly
4)frisbee with rachel? when when
5)ben and jerry's cookie dough
6)16 may 11:32pm
7)2nd august
8)kite flying and the bloody kite refused to fly
9)JB here i come. thurs till sun
10) elephant misses dog.

25 nov 08 4:59pm

I miss nenek.

25 nov 12:53 pm

gosh i really suck keeping track of birthdays. so many birthdays whizzed past me and all i do is realise when its like 2 weeks after the actual date. i'm such a bad friend.

so here i am. sitting on the cold floor lying against the wall, typing away on this laptop propped on my chair. bored to the max. all that i've been doing are crossword puzzles, reading breaking dawn and not forgetting your present. mum told me to get a job instead of dragging my lazy ass from place to place doing nothing or to take up a hobby. but i like lazying. i like slacking. i've never felt so wasted. its a good natural feeling, beats getting high.

great disappointment yest. the 16th. THE 16TH. i guess subconsciously i was looking forward to it and when it didnt happen the way i wanted it to, it just turned into this one massive flop. no big deal i guess and its not your fault anw. so two massive flops in just 3 days. a little too heavy for the heart to take. is it gonna continue this way? cause i rather back out now.

mum told me the choices of destination for our hols. so far hong kong sounds the most appealing. DISNEY LAND! but other than that, there's nothing else. no good food to look forward to. but there's the flight and the hotel. i just hope we'll go somewhere new where there's good food and beautiful culture to explore.

"don't put all your eggs in one basket. who knows the one person holding the basket will loosen her grip and trample all over the eggs breaking them one by one. distribute your eggs evenly or better still keep them in the refrigerator where they'll stay nice and safe. and unbroken."

17 nov'08. 1.50 am

so far from where we started
so far from what we wanted

its like i'm taking care of a toddler. anything can set her off into one of her tantrums. she'll pull this long face, pout and it makes me come crawling back to her. every shred of my dignity torn and gone, my strong angry front crumbles. its the same everytime. she knows she's got me wrapped around her finger, her every word is my command. i'll readily jump off a cliff if she tells me too. now its one of the times. she's pissed off cause i decided to plug in my earphones. there she goes again. i'm tired , making her happy and pacifying her when she's not. but it happens time and time again

its funny how everything feels so surreal. it sounds cliche but it just feels like yest when i just got my psle cert and just entered tk. and now its almost to the end of 'o's. just one more paper to go. and its the end of tk life. no more 4e9 no more eating in the stuffy canteen no more walking aimlessly around the school no more videoworld no more frisbee during recess. gosh it feels so weird and i feel so old. anw can you believe it?! its just one more paper to go or maybe two for most of you guys. but heck it feels so close to the end. brings tears to my eyes mann. haha. i'm looking forward to the many sleep-in sessions and the slacking and sleep overs that are gonna be happening soon. the chalets! the fun! not forgetting the prom! yay! dresses food friends ! how much funner can it ever get? aft all the papers, i just wanna sit down somewhere watch ppl busy scurrying to places where they shld be doing things they shld do. i'll just sit down there with a smug look on my face saying 'HAHA. SEE THERE! I'VE DONE IT.ITS NO BIGGIE.' ok but who am i kidding. doing it is just a quarter of the job done, the other three quarters is actually seeing the result of the hard work. ok yknow what. its out of our hands anw. let's not think abt it.



i've been thinking alot lately. abt everything's that been going on. amidst the exam stress i notice friends gg seperate ways, no longer acknowledging one another, i see myself doing things which i've promised to stop. nuzul stop loving stop caring. but damn its hard. and i end up doing it. we've gone full circle. but how many full circles have we created? its never gonna end is it? its just one thing or another . we argue abt something petty and then one gets frustrated. or my conscience gets in the way and we just end up where we've left off. never actually clearing up the whole mess. just piling the probs neatly in a stack till one day we just have to face the consequences of the piling. i'm sick and tired of piling and shutting one eye to all this. but we've got to face it someday right. why not let it be now?



watching close friends seperate is never easy. but knowing that there was no clear concrete reason behind the seperation is just shocking. i guess it happens sometimes when you've got nothing left to say to the other person you just lose interest and its simply a case of 'i've got nothing left to say to you. goodbye.' but how is that even possible? i can never figure it out. ultimately even after not talking for quite a while , you'd still have lots to share right. if your friendship was truly sincere then not even time can wear down the comfort that each one provides. its funny how two friends can turn into strangers in just one day