God, please give me strength to pull through.

just got back from steph's place. belle, ruby, elaina, nic,shah, broc were also there. helped out with zany stuff. and also painted out my briefcase! its black and there are the words 'MR LAWYER' on the front. so cool.haha. i'm a lawyer for tmr! (you might have already guessed.) so i'm gonna wear black pants and white buttoned shirt and also a black tie. i think the pants are prob gonna be skinnies cause i can't find any other black pants. steph's place is nice! and so are her parents! (: the chicken was spicy but good. it was nice and fun to be surrounded by them. we were laughing half the time. i borrowed a nice black tie from steph's dad!(: thanks uncle.

left her place at abt 7. 30. walked with broc to the mrt and took the train back home.

this past few days have been pretty un-eventful. except for certain revelations that were made to me. i dont know why. but i'm not shocked or anything. i hope you wont feel awkward around me. cause yknow i'm still e same. wont treat you any differently cause of this.

my heart has been quite heavy.i'm so worried for my grandma till i can't think straight. all i want to do is be by her side. i want to hold her hand tell her that it'll be okay. i see her suffering and the pain she goes through just kills me inside. i miss her so much. when the nurses treat her, she screams out in pain. the words barely audible. 'i want to go home,' she told me,'my body can't take it. let me die.'i want to take away all your pain. i wish i was the one suffering. her body is so frail, the hospital bed looks too big for her. i want to tell them to stop.

You’ll never know the way it tears me up inside to see you
I wish that I could tell you something
To take it all away

Sometimes I wish I could save you
And there’re so many things that I want you to know
I won’t give up till it’s over
If it takes you forever I want you to know

When I hear your voice
Its drowning in a whisper
It’s Just skins and bones
There’s nothing left to take
No matter what I do I can’t make you feel better
If only I could find the answer
To help me understand

i wish i was the one dying.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9P_xulhlQLk

"Three Cheers For Five Years"

I swear that you don't have to go

I think we can wait for the fireworks (2nd Aug)

I know we can wait for the snow

To wash over Georgia and kill the hurt

I think I can live in your arms

And spend every moment I'll have with you

Stay up all night with the stars

Confess all the faith that I've in you

To late, I'm sure and lonely

Another night, another dream wasted on you

Just be here now against me

You know the words so sing along for me baby

For heaven's sake I know you're sorry

But you won't stop crying

This anniversary may never be the same

Inside I hope you know I'm dying

With my heart beside me

In shattered pieces that may never be replaced

And if I died right now you'd never be the same

I thought with a month of apart

Together would find us an opening

And moonlight would provide the spark

And that I would stumble across the key

Or break down the door to your heart

Forever could see us not you and me

And you'd help me out of the dark

And I'd give my heart as an offering

And I will always remember you as you are right now to me

And I will always remember now

Sleep alone tonight with no one here(but me) just by your side

How does he feel, how does he kiss

How does he taste while he's on your lips

I can't forget you

I know you want me to want you I want to

But I can't forgive you

So when this is over don't blow your composure baby

I can't forgive you

I know you want me to want you I want to