on sunday, she wear like uee... so hot... nose bleed la... wle... dont so hot can anot, the moment she dress so elegant... i gg liao lo... i just cant take my eyes away... lol... ok la... i dunno why i typing this... so bo liao... bb

lovelife clip was so impactful that it makes me think back when i lying at the bed in ttsh... those words that cant be describe, and how people who doesnt show they care, cares for you. or people shocked to see how strong i was, now in icu... life is so sudden at times, just cherish the days, live your dreams... so, this time round, i shall go for my diving, and por... cannot waste any opportunity liao. however, i wasted one just now... so close... so much hope... i miss it... i wasted it... i ache it... my heart just ache when i drove further away... WhY it was prompting me to u turn, ut i didnt... i escape... i run away... same as what cg lesson, and jonah lesson... why... haiz... i better go sleep liao... tml exercise and work...

ok. she wore a nice dress today... went cycling n kite flying... nice... but some idiot scratch my car... shiiiban la... haha ok... went salted, accidently call her... i quickly msg her say press wrongly. wats wrong with me sia... dumbarse.... lol oh well... sibei bo ji... wat a fool... oh well... monday again... sian1.2 tata

currently i am station outside bishan mrt, in a car looking at nothing, and decided to blog once again. whether is there reader or not, it doesn't matter. what matters is that i can remember how i feel, i how i think, and why i cant say to anyone but to type it out. lol... been attending too many weddings... and i know what i have been missing out. m i ready for another committement or attempt to chase anyone that could speaks of hope and security? i wonder... i made this vow to God that i will only chose someone from Church. from EFC made only. and i think i have to fulfill it. because i believe she is there, just that i am too afraid to even make any attempt or create effective or productive conversation. or maybe i think too much, or hoping for a respond when there isnt. or the respond is not what i expected of or anything. i dunno. i am confuse. i dunno if i am so direct, what will it be. a do or die situation? or is because, there is competition or i am handicap. well, i always hav full of confidences in many things i do. but dunno why, when it come to women, i always like a shit. hahahahhaa... maybe those are high challenge women, thats why it is more challenging? i wonder... i am not getting younger, i know i cant rely on friends anymore. i hav to find that someone. or make attempt on that someone. ohhhhhh well... God give me courage, give me guts... i can jump the sky, dive the sea, fly like bird... but why why why when i am just infront of that someone... i just become DuMB... then when she walk away, it just ache... this totally sux... i always remember pastor marion's word for me... you wait somemore, later fruit drop, someone takes it away!!! how true... there is such a good opportunity recently, and i slip it away... what an idiot i m... seriously... is she reserved? is she waiting for someone to return? is she looking at someone else? all these question i wanna ask... and i wanna know... but how? why did i fall sick last year... why is my golden years as handicap... why? ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh well... GOD, show me the way... SHOW me... i dun want to just staring at her name at whatapps, or her photo in fb... i wanna know her more, and know whats inside her... Open the door... Open my guts,.. Open my stupid mouth... Open...

- Dreams that speaks Fear-

first time in my life that i dreamt of something so scary. i wanted to pen it down so i can remember what i had experience.

it started off when a holiday that i was at, when i lost my wallet. i found the wallet at the seat i sat earlier on, the wallet was empty, my cash and card was gone, and whats left was my Nirc and driving license (my identity) it was at the hotel seating around where i lost and found back the wallet. so i approach the receiption to see the cctv who had picked up my wallet. the guy at the reception told me he know who, but wasnt sure whether it was fine for me to contact the thief. he told me to forget about it. but No! i want back my other cards, so i told him to contact the person who stole it, and tell the person he can keep the cash, i just want back all my cards. and i will forget everythinf. but soon, i felt i was dropped into a hole of fire burning! and from afar was this green faced man, when i dream abt it sometime ago. he was saying something which i do not understand! i wa afraid! i try to wake ip but i couldnt. i cant move and i hit myself, it was painful. oh dear, it couldnt be happening! i cried out to jesus. jesus jesus in his name i cried. i cant open my eyes, i cant move, i cant awake from this dream. what is going on! is this the end? i cant seems to do anything about it! with my eyes close i continue to call out name of jesus! until, i finally can feel my leg, and hear my brother sound. i didnt open my eyes, i continue to close my eyes and moved my body alittle bit. and eventually i went back to sleep and was empty till i wake up to go church.

from this dream, i wanted an answer, y m i facing such dreams. whats happening. i dont know. i ask for forgiveness. i just wanna say to jesus, i love you, forgive me and strengthen me!

-reflection-

during these 3 days of hunger and reflection, and learning from other people's perspective of life and views... it's refreshing and encouraging when all of us, fast, pray and reflect together as one...

together we all look forward to 5pm each day... haha...

we went to this rainbow center at yishun, which kind of near our outreach place... it's a school for the autism and disable children... together each of us was place into different classroom to attend their lesson... even thou i did not do much, i was purely observing the children behavior and reaction, and looking at the teachers patient teaching and able to control their emotion... it really touches me, even thou i did not make it shown...

it reflect how bless we are as normal human being and how God wants to use us to be a blessing to them... little we may do, but to them it could mean alot... what impact me is this small boy name cowen, his teacher is going reservist for 3 weeks, and for us normal people, we will know his teacher will come back to teach, but to this boy, he cried, saying his teacher not coming on next monday... it shows how an innocent boy like him, would have strong feelings and depend on his teacher... i was like wow... do i even miss my teacher if he/she doesnt come... i dont think i will, properly i will say YEAH! means no class! but to this boy, his teacher could be his companion, his teacher, his playmate... whatever you call it... this boy is special...

i dunno if i could do anything to help anybody, but i know given a chance to help, i will help.

during this reflect i learnt from the older ones their journey, and began to see those younger ones changes as well... i'm blessed, and i do hope their faith will continue to grow. simple they maybe... but it's useful in long run...

oh... i dont know what else to blog about the reflection, but what i can say, it's good... and you should join too!

we end with a blast! full to the max... me and chunseng eat ourselves 6 plates! hahaha... ok no more details...

i went tea with cs n eunice... we talk random stuff... and kinda talk about certain issues... yup...

it was sad... but i guess life moves on from here... and pray that things would turn out well... seriously... i will never believe such things happen, but i believe it happens for a reason, and teaches us not to take things for granted, everything, everyone has a role to play, and each role should be play with his grace and we should have faith in where he is leading us...

so yup...

looking forward to hear good news...

and yah...

-is this a good time-

its been so long ever since i even ask anyone out? seriously asking anyone out... the very most i go out is with ppl in a grp or ppl who is attached so there wont be any wrong motives involve, just pure frenship! haha

motives! yesh motives! my motive to ask any single lady out will be, i want to start gettig ready to be involve in another bgr! a forever lasting one la... therefore cannot anyhow ask anyone out... must ask someone worth it... as in, someone ready to commit la... those play play one can go fly kite la... its been 3yrs since i last went out with anyone... hahaha... totally didnt trust anyone... so now, seriously hav to look at the pond of evangel... once P.M told me his... still wait for durian to drop? later drop others pick liao... haixzz, alot kanna pick liao, but is ok... i know God has his plan for me. :)

so lets see...

1. Christian in EFC
2. Smart in English (better than me can le)
3. Love children (must willing to have kids)
4. Drive a car (get a license!)
5. PRETTY! (dont look scary in morning la)

yah, so little i ask for what! hahahha
oh well, lets just see...

i will work hard for $ lol
aiming to provide this for us!

1. Condo (at least a 4room HDB)
2. BMW (at least a 1.8l)
3. Holiday (at least 2 family trip a year)

not bad le la, dont overwork me! hahaha

ok, tats all

ciao!

Nelvin Ng
Unknown

When I Look Up the Stage, I See the REAL HER...
She is Godly, Lovely, Silly...

M 23 Nov 2015 --------

October 2004
November 2004
December 2004
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
July 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
September 2009
October 2009
December 2009
March 2010
April 2010
May 2010
August 2010
October 2010
December 2010
August 2012
September 2012


It Start With A Kiss Soundtrack