Break Free of Procrastination and Anxiety by Controlling Your Fears

NEED TO BE IN CONTROL? You may be making yourself more anxious
by Neil Fiore, PhD author of The Now Habit www.neilfiore.com

Executive and Personal Coaching

Our fear of mistakes, embarrassment, loss, or criticism can lead to futile attempts at controlling life, others, and the outcome of events. This only leads to greater anxiety.

Having faced several life-threatening experiences by the age of 32, including a “terminal cancer” diagnosis, I know the power of coming to term with death and loss. I’m a big fan of facing fears immediately, saying to myself, “Yes, I could die in that situation; I could suffer loss with that person. I will choose what to do. I may not win, but I will play full out.”
Fear has its purposes and survival value. It warns us to be careful; to avoid being too impulsive or acting without enough knowledge, or to even procrastinate at times. Fear, like worry, asks us to do a Risk-Benefit Analysis from our higher, human brain (prefrontal cortex) and to make plans for survival.
I also know how denying our human vulnerability and trying to avoid what you fear can lead to destructive procrastination, attempts at control, and even Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). Fear builds when you try to control what happens in life or how others feel about you. The more important the goal, the more you try to get control which only makes you feel frustrated and out of control, often leading to panic. Control is like potato chips, you will always want more. It’s a dangerous drug and an illusion. On the one hand we have limited control over life and, on the other we can be very powerful in creating a comfortable living environment, friends, a delicious meal, plans, products and services, and a meaningful life. The trick is knowing the edges of what we control and when we must let go of trying to control.
To say make this point more succinctly, take a look at my version of the very elegant Serenity Prayer:
Grant me the serenity to accept what I cannot control; courage to work on what I can control [mostly my attitude and how I treat myself], and wisdom to know the difference.

Instead of trying to control or trying to avoid what you fear might happen it is more empowering to face the worst that could happen—even death, loss, embarrassment, rejection, or loneliness. Facing fear reduces the fear; breaks the habit of fear and avoidance, and sets you free. Perhaps, just as “the truth will set you free,” so facing the truth of your human vulnerability also sets you free.
For procrastinators this means learning to face your fear of mistakes, criticism, self-doubt, and the awful self-threat that you would make yourself miserable if you fail.
For those who suffer from anxiety, chronic worry, or OCD, the fear of not being in control can lead to extreme anxiety and a full-blown panic attack. Yet lessening or curing OCD [and overcoming procrastination] requires that you repeatedly face your fears in small, manageable bites. This really means that you fully accept yourself as human and, therefore, as vulnerable to mistakes, hurts, loss, and joy. Perhaps it is this full acceptance of yourself that lessens fear and the need to control. Instead of trying to be like a god, an angel, or a Peter Pan who flies above human difficulties, you join with the rest of us in the humus, the humility, the humanity of being earthbound. Release the struggle of trying to control, let your muscles and mind relax and then discover that the chair, the floor, the earth, and the bed will hold you. Discover that you don’t have to try so hard alone; you’re connected and supported. For coaching and webinars see www.neilfiore.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/neilfiore

Cal Ripken on Perseverance & Mental Toughness

Get Unstuck from Procrastination; Get onto Productivity
CAL Ripken on "Perseverance"Mental Toughness
I heard Cal speaking today at a conference. I asked: "What did you tell yourself to maintain Mental Toughness when the Orioles were having a losing season?"
Cal answered with his unique style of facing the Press, the physical pain and the slumps, something like this: At first I would struggle against the pressure--just like most people do. But then I'd tell myself, I'm prepared; I've trained; I know what to do. Just relax, step back and focus on the ball, just as if there's no pressure.
What the master of perseverance said was--from my point view--what I tell my coaching and webinar clients: "Just keep showing up. Don't try to control what you can't control, but work with it, challenge it, wonder about it.
see www.neilfiore.com for upcoming webinars on Productivity, Time Management, Conquering Procrastination, Getting Unstuck, Balancing Your Life, and Effective Goal Setting

Tough Economic Times--Reduce stress, insomnia, worry

Reduce Worrying During Tough Times
Neil Fiore, PhD

Worrying is a sign that your brain needs a plan for survival.
Feed your hungry neurons with these steps of inner security
and you’ll lower the volume on the voices of your worrying mind.

1. Create a Plan—“if – then”
Answer the voices of “What if I lose my job?” with a plan that says
“This is what we will do if that happens then I’ll feel stressed, then
I’ll cry, then I’ll contemplate declaring bankruptcy, then I’ll file job applications at McDonalds, then I’ll study the fast-food retail business, expand my resume, and apply for a manager’s job. Then I’ll look for management jobs in other fields closer to my prior experience and education.”

2. Separate your Worth from your work.
Break the Worth = Work Puritan equation.
Don’t let your net worth determine how you feel about your worth
as a person. “Regardless of the feedback [notice: it’s
not criticism --only feedback-- when you have solid self-worth] you receive, your worth is always safe with me. I won’t make you feel bad.

3. THE ULTIMATE PLAN: Guarantee that you will not make yourself
feel bad, no matter what others think, no matter what happens.
Answer these questions:
1. What is the worst that could happen?
2. What would I do if the worst really happened?
3. How would I possible lessen the pain and get on with as much calm as possible if the worse did occur?
4. What alternatives would I have?
5. What can I do now to lessen the probability of this dreaded event occurring?
Tell the frightened, overwhelmed part of you: “Even if these things happen, your worth is safe with me.”

Avoid over-reacting to the weekly and daily ups and downs of the Stock Market but, also, do not become completely passive.
• Shift from worry to planning––Do the Work of Worrying
Write down ways you and your family can reduce expenses or manage your finances more efficiently. Making plans for how to cope will reduce your stress and worry.
Putting things down on paper and committing to a plan gets worry out of your gut and processes it through your higher brain.
www.neilfiore.com Sign up for free Aug 25 Webinar

GETTING UNSTUCK QUIZ

Identify Your Blocks to Success
HOT TIPS: What’s Keeping You Stuck? The Fiore Productivity Program™
Neil A. Fiore, PhD

GETTING UNSTUCK QUIZ—Achieve Full Potential

Could your life be considerably more fulfilling, passionate and joyful? Discover how to rapidly get unstuck from unnecessary barriers and unleash your full potential. Start by answering these questions and rate yourself on the Get Unstuck Quiz to learn how this program can help you.
On a scale of 1 to 4, how true are the following statements in describing your behavior or feelings? 1 represents the least true for you and 4 the most true.

How true are the following statements for you? SCORE

1. I feel stuck and want to start achieving my full potential.
1- Not at all true 2- Somewhat true 3- Quite a Bit 4- Very True _________

2. I’d like to know how to remove a major obstacle to my happiness and success.
1- Not at all true 2- Somewhat true 3- Quite a Bit 4- Very True _________

3. I need to get out of negative relationships and away from people who drain my energy.
1- Not at all true 2- Somewhat true 3- Quite a Bit 4- Very True _________

4. I frequently ask myself, “But, what if something goes wrong?”
1- Not at all true 2- Somewhat true 3- Quite a Bit 4- Very True _________

5. I’d love to feel that that there is essentially nothing wrong with me—
that I can be happy with who I am.
1- Not at all true 2- Somewhat true 3- Quite a Bit 4- Very True _________

6. I’d like to be less worried about criticism and less dependent on the approval of others.
1- Not at all true 2- Somewhat true 3- Quite a Bit 4- Very True _________

7. I’d like to be less distracted by worries and more capable of enjoying the moment.
1- Not at all true 2- Somewhat true 3- Quite a Bit 4- Very True _________

8. I want to regain some vital motivation, excitement and sense of purpose about my life.
1- Not at all true 2- Somewhat true 3- Quite a Bit 4- Very True _________

9. I want to learn how to stay focused on my top priority projects.
1- Not at all true 2- Somewhat true 3- Quite a Bit 4- Very True _________

10. I definitely need to change something about my situation in the next 6-12 months.
1- Not at all true 2- Somewhat true 3- Quite a Bit 4- Very True _________ TOTAL ____________
Your Score Results:

30-40: STOP THE STRUGGLE. GET UNSTUCK. TAKE CHARGE OF YOUR LIFE NOW.
Your life could be easier, more joyful and fulfilling with much less anxiety and self-doubt. Start immediately to use the change strategies and techniques contained in The Fiore Productivity Program. Pay attention to those strategies that build confidence and your sense of worth. Practice using the early signs of struggle as a wake-up call to shift to your new optimal performance skills and almost effortless focus.

20-29: You’re motivated to significantly improve your effectiveness in life by removing old blocks and out-dated patterns. Practice identifying your usual ways of coping and prepare updated, healthier and effective alternatives. Give special attention to Effective Communication, Effective Self-Management Skills and insist on playing a leadership role in your life.

10-19: Congratulations! You’re in great shape. Use The Fiore Productivity Program strategies, exercises and action steps to sharpen the skills you already have and shorten your learning curve. With minimal effort you can learn how to move rapidly toward solutions that lead to self-fulfillment, the achievement of your objectives, and truly taking charge of your life.

WATCH FOR SOLUTIONS IN NEIL'S UPCOMING EBOOK, HOT TIPS FOR SUCCESS

(c)2010 Neil Fiore, PhD www.neilfiore.com Coaching: www.neilfiore.com/coach.shtml

Myth: I'm stressed because my job is stressful

The Myth: My job is stressful. Therefore, I’m stressed.

The Tip: Replace danger messages—“I can’t stand this; I’m going to die; I have finish all this work; This is like a 10.0 earthquake” with messages of safety and you will be in control of your stress levels. Insuring that “no matter what happens, your worth is safe with me” will create inner safety and will eliminate more than 80% of your stress.
Try, “This is not the end of the world. Regardless of what happens I won’t make you feel bad” as you exhale with ”It’s only a 3.0 earthquake.”

The Truth: External stress is a fact that will cause your body to react with stress hormones, but you can learn to control for how long and how deeply you are impacted.
True, your job may be stressful, poorly managed, and impossible to complete during normal and healthy working hours. But unless your job involves being shot at and running into burning buildings, most likely, you are inflicting the stress by self-threats such as You have to finish, You should have, What’s wrong with you?
See www.neilfiore.com Articles for a Centering Exercise that shuts off stress within 30 seconds.
For coaching: www.neilfiore.com/coach.shtml

Myth, Tip, Truth

The Myth: I can’t change. That’s who I am.

The Tip: Link your current self-defeating, depressive behavior to a corrective action using “If- Then” mental rehearsals.
“If I feel this way [and usually end up in the same old place, doing the same old behaviors] then I will focus on one small step I can do now to improve the situation.”

Example: If I eat a whole bag of cookies, breaking my New Year’s Resolution once again, then I will walk for 15 minutes and throw away any remaining sweets.

The Truth that underlies it all: your brain needs clear images of what to do to achieve your goals: When you will start; Where you will start; on What you will start. You body can’t be in the imaginary future where your goals always are. Your brain and body need a clear time and place to focus on starting.
Research shows that your brain learns very quickly when you make a link between the If [the feeling or event that tends to side-track you] and the Then [the corrective action you will take to move closer to your vision, your mission, and your higher values.
You can change your behavior and significantly improve your odds of achieving your goals by giving your brain clear image of when to start. As a side-benefit you may change as well.

Watch for more on Myth, Tip, and Truth from Dr. Neil Fiore at www.neilfiore.blogspot.com www.neilfiore.com newsletter, on Twitter @neilfiore, and Facebook, Neil Fiore

Next event: Jan. 23rd, Sunday at 4pm PST Book signing of The Now Habit at Work, The Now Habit, and Awaken Your Strongest Self at Book Passage, Corte Madera, CA
http://www.bookpassage.com/event/neil-fiore-now-habit-work

Job Stress & Now Habit at Work [Wiley, 2010]

Muliple demands, job stress, & financial worries are turning more and more managers, small business owners, and working mothers into Workaholics with less time for family and health and liesure activities.
To make more time for the actions that will make a difference in your life:
-- Stop trying to get everything done. "Done" is in the imaginery future
-- Focus for 15 uninterrupted minutes on one project-- that means No checking email or Facebook, no getting up for a donut and coffee -- and your brain will learn that you mean business and want Problem-solving rather than your favorite distractions
-- Use 3-12 breaths [see Fiore's Centering exercise at www.neilfiore.com/articles.shtml as a transition to Focused Mindfulness
-- Tell your brain and body [your workers] When to start and What to do. Tell yourself the specific time you will start for 15 or 30 minutes on your Top Priority project. Become a more Effective Self-Manager and you will manage others effectively.

See my latest book, The Now Habit at Work offers new strategies for Optimal Performance on the job, in your business at home, and for entrepreneurs.

see www.neilfiore.com and www.neilfiore.com/coach.shtml for articles and coaching
Neil Fiore,PhD: Executive Coach, Speaker and Author of Awaken Your Strongest Self, The Now Habit, and The Now Habit at Work: Perform Optimally, Maintain Focus, and Ignite Motivation in Yourself and Others [Wiley, 2010]

Coping with the Emotional Impact of Cancer: National Cancer Survivors Day Podcast

Coping with the Emotional Impact of Cancer: National Cancer Survivors Day Podcast

Coping with Emotional Impact of Cancer broadcast

Author of Coping with the Emotional Impact of Cancer: Become an Active Patient. Hear a 30-year cancer survivor at http://www.talkshoe.com/tc/83586 from June 5, 2010 interview Noon PDT/ 3pm EDT
www.neilfiore.com

CHALLENGE YOUR CRITICAL VOICES

The Now Habit at Work: Perform Optimally, Maintain Focus, and
Ignite Motivation in Yourself and Others [Wiley, Aug. 2010] Neil A. Fiore, PhD www.neilfiore.com

Fiore Exercises:*
To identify and quiet your critical voices take about 10 minutes to listen to them.
Write out two statements: in Part 1, write a positive statement that is the opposite of the critical one; in Part 2, write its opposite, your usual self-criticism.

For example: In Part 1, you might write, “I’m industrious and productive” and in part 2, “I am lazy.”
Or, first you write: “I’m very reliable;” and then “I’m unreliable.”
Pause after writing each of these statements and listen to the “Yes but” voice of your worrying and critical mind.

Part 1. Write the positive statement that is the opposite of your usual self-criticism (e.g., “I’m very reliable” or “I’m very industrious”) and listen to and record whatever critical “Yes but” voices come to you.
Keep writing the positive quality until you’ve exhausted most if not all of your oppositional criticisms.
For example:
I’m very reliable.
"No you’re not."
I’m very reliable.
"You can’t be trusted with money and completing projects."
I’m very reliable.
"You can’t stay committed in your relationships."

Continue until all objections have been expressed and there are no more “Yes but” responses.

Part 2. Write a negative, critical version such as “I’m not reliable.” Listen for the “Yes but” responses.
For example:
I’m not reliable.
"Yes, but you are good at taking care of others."
I’m not reliable.
"Yes, but you're very dependable at your job."
I’m not reliable.
"Yes, you have some areas where you have difficulties but
overall you’re a reliable friend, mother, daughter, and employee."

Experiment using your most repeated self-criticisms and deep-seated self-doubts.

*This is my version of an exercise that has been around for years. It expands on what others have written years ago.
For coaching: www.neilfiore.com/coach.shtml
Permission to reprint is granted when the following copyright and contact information is included:
© Neil Fiore, 2010 All rights reserved. Email: neil@neilfiore.com www.neilfiore.com

Neil on ABC TV 7's View from the Bay Jan 15

http://abclocal.go.com/kgo/story?section=view_from_the_bay/health_fitness&id=7219930
Cancer survivor Dr. Neil Fiore shares this advice when dealing with a cancer diagnosis:
How to face the fear of diagnosis and reduce the stresses of therapy:
• Remember that "Cancer" is not a diagnosis. Ask for the specific type and stage and the treatments that are possible.
• Remember that 90% of some types of cancer are curable or held in remission.
• Reduce stress hormones by Choosing as much as you can about your treatment, your doctors, the timing of surgery and chemotherapy.

Choice is separate from “want to” or “have to” and lets your brain know that it's okay to work with your medical treatment.

How deal with feelings of stress and helplessness:
• Make yourself safe with you, regardless of what happens. Stress is a response to messages of danger and is shut off
when you decide that you are not going to make yourself feel bad--that you are safe with YOU.
• Remember to make choices and the Serenity Prayer. Stop trying to control what you can't control and focus on what you can do Now.
You will feel less helpless and frustrated and more effective by controlling what you can--your attitude and how you talk to and treat yourself.

How to establish team relationships with doctors and therapists:
• Ask questions to let your doctors know that you want to be an active member of your healthcare team. This will relax them from trying to take full responsibility for your life and your treatment decisions.
• Call on family and friends to help you get answers and to help you when you are too overwhelmed to respond to your doctor's news.
How to become an active patient and cope with the side effects of sometimes harsh treatments:
• Learn what you can about your treatment but once you've decided on a treatment focus on the positive benefits, not the negative side-effects e.g., replace "toxic" chemotherapy that will cause your hair to fall out with "powerful medicine that will kill rapidly dividing cells;" cancer cells are the most rapidly dividing followed by hair cells; therefore, loss of hair is a sign that my powerful ally is working.

How to build emotional support systems with physicians, family and friends:
• Let your doctors know that you're interested in a holistic treatment that includes your healthy body, mind and emotions.
• You, therefore, want to talk with a Nutritionist, a psychotherapist/ Medical Social Worker or Rehab therapist, and may want to join a support group.

How personal attitudes can have an enormous impact on the course of recovery:
• How you talk to yourself can lead to inner peace or stress.
• Make yourself safe with you regardless of what happens and you will shut off the stress hormones, increase the strength of your immune system, and possibly speed recovery from surgery and chemo.


see more about "Coping with the Emotional Impact of Cancer" at www.neilfiore.com and www.amazon.com

Getting Things STARTED vs To-Do Lists

by Dr. Neil Fiore, author of The Now Habit and Coping with the Emotional Impact of Cancer and Awaken Your Strongest Self

Start times: Use a schedule to list Start and Leave times and appointments rather than creating an overwhelming list of things you have to do.
• Avoid "I have so many things I have to Get Done."
o Remember: “done,” “finish,” “accomplish,” “deliver” are all in the imaginary future. Your body can’t get there so these images create anxiety -— stuck energy trying to get into a nonexistent future place.
o Keep Starting. The last time you start is when you’re finish. Don’t worry about finishing. Your new deadline is seeing what you can get started in 30 minutes.
o Deadlines in the distant future will keep you anxious and don’t tell your mind and body when to start. Back-time from the deadline to create a 3-dimensional path back to When, Where, and on What you can start.
If you benefit from the structure and organization of To Do Lists then you might have four lists:
1. Personal life: 3-5 things you don’t need a list for such as daily contact with your children; your spouse; your body, health, exercise; and Nature, breathing, meditating
2. Top Priority list—no more than 3-5 items that you start on every day. Know when you will start on AAA priority; followed by AA or BBB. These are the bottom line activities that will change your life, keep your job, and may take 40-1000 hours to complete.
3. Low Priority, C-level tasks. For these tasks a list is useful to clear your mind so you can focus on top priorities and as rewards for getting started. They might include: Put gas in the care on the way home; buy milk; pay phone bill or hire an assistant; fix the garage door; or empty the closet. This is a list that is looked at AFTER starting on AAA projects. This is also the list of activities you may choose to Let Go of – a “Things I want but can’t afford or don’t have time for now.”
4. Procrastination/Retirement List: things to put off until I’m retired and can consider at my leisure, if I choose: Learn Swahili, Salsa dancing, to play the piano, or write a book. This is your Guilt-Free Play list of things you don’t have to do now. Feel free to procrastinate and day dream on these projects.

©2009 Neil Fiore, PhD All rights reserved. Permission to reprint is granted provided this copyright and contact information are included: www.neilfiore.com neil@neilfiore.com
510 525 2673For coaching see: www.neilfiore.com/coach.shtml

Four Dangers of To-Do Lists and Having to Get Things Done

– by Neil Fiore, PhD, author of The Now Habit: Overcoming Procrastination
and Enjoying Guilt-Free Play and Awaken Your Strongest Self

1. “Done” and “finish” are in the imagined future, a non-existent place
that your body cannot get to. You are left with stuck energy that and, therefore, feel anxious.

2. To Do Lists are usually “Have to do-lists” that evoke resistance, rebellion, and procrastination. The unspoken “have to” part of To Do Lists says, “You don’t want to do this. They’re making you into a victim. You should resist or at least drag your feet.”

3. To Do Lists are often overwhelming and usually don’t indicate the difference between low and high priorities. You could become a Workaholic rather than a top producer who knows how to focus on the right, bottom-line work.

4. Creating bigger and better To Do Lists––as with getting organized and perfectionism––can become a major distraction that seems to justify your avoidance of actually working on a project.

See next blog for “When to Use Getting Things Started Lists”

©2009, Neil Fiore, PhD. All rights reserved. Permission to reprint is granted as long as this copyright and the following contact information is included: www.neilfiore.com 510 525 2673 neil@neilfiore.com
For Coaching: www.neilfiore.com/coach.shtml

Emotional Impact of Cancer -- Neil's latest book

Press Release
after September 15, 2009

Contact: Neil A. Fiore, PhD neil@neilfiore.com 510 525 2673 www.neilfiore.com

Coping with the Emotional Impact of Cancer:
Become an Active Patient and Take Charge of Your Treatment
by Neil Fiore, PhD
BayTree Publishing, September 15, 2009

Current events: October is National Breast Cancer Month
Book Signing/Presentation: Book Passage, Corte Madera, CA Oct. 11, 2009

When Neil Fiore was 32 he was diagnosed with terminal cancer and given one year to live. He told himself he would not live that year in fear or being controlled by doctors.
• He asked questions, read about his type of cancer and possible treatments, and fought to get the chemotherapy that saved his life.
• He volunteered for an experimental chemotherapy protocol that was the first to yield an 80-percent survival rate and led to the development of the chemo that cured the very advanced cancer of Lance Armstrong twenty years later.
• Neil continued to work as a psychology intern while taking weekly injections and did not experience severe side-effects for the first few months possibly because he was able to lower his stress hormones by choosing and fighting to get on chemotherapy.
• After 18 months of treatment he made the difficult decision to end chemotherapy, was asked to make a video for other cancer patients, spoke at Grand Rounds, and had his article, “Fighting Cancer—One Patient’s Perspective,” published in The New England Journal of Medicine.
• In 1986 Dr Fiore became one of the founding members of The National Coalition for Cancer Survivorship.
• He has survived metastasized cancer for over 30 years and is dedicated to encouraging other patients to be active and take charge of their treatment.

Coping with the Emotional Impact of Cancers offers hope and steps on how to deal with the stress and depression of cancer and its treatment, how to communicate with doctors and family. More important, Dr. Fiore, a psychologist, suggests ways to build emotional support systems with physicians, family and friends. And finally, he shows how personal attitudes can have an enormous impact on the course of recovery.
* * *
About the author:
Dr. Neil Fiore is a 30-year survivor of a “terminal” cancer diagnosis, a founding member of the National Coalition for Cancer Survivorship, the author of five books, a Vietnam vet, and a psychologist in private practice in Berkeley, CA. He is an active skier and biker who completed a 100-mile Team In Training bike ride to raise money for Leukemia research.

Dust Jacket Testimonials:
“Dr. Neil Fiore is a Godsend to those making the journey through cancer. His wise and practical advice, which comes from personal experience as well as years of working with others on a healing path, is a gift beyond measure.”
--Joan Borysenko, Ph.D., author of Minding the Body, Mending the Mind

“Neil Fiore PhD is a long term survivor. Coping with the Emotional Impact of Cancer is a book that may save your life. Don't enter an oncologist's office without it. ”
--Rachel Naomi Remen, MD, author or Kitchen Table Wisdom and My Grandfather's Blessings

Contact: Neil A. Fiore, PhD neil@neilfiore.com 510 525 2673 www.neilfiore.com
# # #

Four Dangers of To-Do Lists & Getting Things Done

Four Dangers of To-Do Lists and Having to Get Things Done
– by Neil Fiore, PhD, author of The Now Habit: Overcoming Procrastination and Enjoying Guilt-Free Play and Awaken Your Strongest Self

1. “Done” and “finish” are in the imagined future, a non-existent place that your body cannot get to. You are left with stuck energy that makes you feel anxious.

2. To Do Lists are usually “Have to do-lists” that evoke resistance, rebellion, and procrastination. The unspoken “have to” part of To Do Lists says, “You don’t want to do this. Some authority is making you into a victim. You should resist or at least drag your feet.”

3. To Do Lists are often overwhelming and usually don’t indicate the difference between low and high priorities. You could become a Workaholic rather than a top producer who focuses on starting on top priority project at a time.

4. Creating bigger and better To Do Lists––as with getting organized and perfectionism ––can become a major distraction that seems to justify your avoidance of actually working on a project that could advance your life.

See next blog for “When to Use Getting Things Started Lists”
©2009, Neil Fiore, PhD. All rights reserved. Permission to reprint is granted as long as this copyright and the following contact information is included: www.neilfiore.com 510 525 2673 neil@neilfiore.com For Coaching: www.neilfiore.com/coach.shtml

DOWNLOAD Centering Exercise Productivity enhancement

DOWNLOAD Dr. Fiore's Centering, Productivity Exercises
These 4 downloads totalling 28 minutes can help you access more of your brain-cell power to work more creatively and efficiently.

When used several times a day, they can get you started and through major projects in half the time it takes when you use only your conscious mind struggling on its own.

Relax and Center with Dr. Neil Fiore

http://www.hypnosisnetwork.com/downloads/?M56YB
We suggest that you listen in a place where you will be relaxed and undisturbed.

Find additional free downloads and Neil Fiore's Mental Toughness and Productivity Engineering CDs at www.hypnosisnetwork.com where all programs come with a one year money back guarantee. To read what others have said about our programs, please click here.

MAKE YOURSELF SAFE WITH YOU

AWAKEN YOUR STRONGEST SELF: Making Yourself Safe with You
Neil Fiore, PhD

When you, from the perspective and roles of your Strongest Self, speak these compassionate statements to the frightened and overwhelmed parts of you, you can:
 Create inner peace by connecting your identity to something stronger and wiser than your ego
 Transition to a new, robust self-image
 Access support and strength to cope with changing situations and relationships
 Reduce the stress and anxiety of struggling alone, separated from your True Self
 Empower yourself with the protective role, higher perspective, and compassionate voice of your Strongest Self

Note that the following inner dialogue differs from typical "affirmations" in that YOU are speaking to the smaller parts of you that are separated from your larger support system. They, therefore, are easily overwhelmed and stressed.
You are empowered to protect and guide these parts that have limited and out-dated ways of coping with life.
You, from your new expanded identity can access the compassion voice of your Strongest Self and replace self-threats with safety and connection by saying:

o Regardless of what happens in life, your worth is always safe with me.
o Regardless of what you can or cannot do, you are always worthwhile.
o Regardless of whether you win or lose, you deserve love, pleasure,
and freedom from self-criticism.
o Regardless of what happens to you, you deserve to be treated with
dignity and respect. I will always respect my life and my body.

o Regardless of who stays or who goes, I am on my side.
I will never abandon you.
o Regardless of how healthy or ill you become, I appreciate the
effort, wisdom, and protection you, my body, has given me.

o Regardless of how negative or intense your emotions, I know they
are valid for you, and I accept them completely.
I am strong enough to be with your emotions.
o Regardless of how uncomfortable others are with you, your feelings
or your body, I will always accept you and remain at peace with you.
o Regardless of what happens in life, and regardless of your problems,
I accept and love you completely.

o Regardless of the health or weakness of my body, I can always heal my spirit.

*Adapted from Awaken Your Strongest Self [McGraw-Hill, 2006] and
Coping with the Emotional Impact of Cancer (BayTree, 2008)

© Neil Fiore, Ph.D., 1998-2007 All rights reserved. Permission is granted to reproduce, copy, or distribute so long as this copyright notice and the full contact information listed below is attached.
Neil Fiore, PhD, 1496 Solano Ave., Albany, CA 94706 voice: 510/ 525-2673 www.neilfiore.com
E-mail: neil@neilfiore.com

PERSONAL POWER & STRENGTH

See http://www.soulfulliving.com/personal_strength.htm
for Dr. Fiore's article on achieving personal power using the
Awaken Your Strongest Self strategies and spiritual practices.

See http://www.hitchedmag.com/article.php?id=289
"Why do I feel bad?" by Dr. Neil Fiore
on what makes us feel bad and how we can improve our attitude.

Note: Awaken Your Strongest Self and The Now Habit are available as CDs and audiobooks. See http://www.audible.com
for The Now Habit: Overcoming Procrastination While Enjoying Guilt-Free Play.

BEAT PROCRASTINATION NOW!

June 6, Wed. 11:30 a.m. EDT on WVOX-AM, NY
Joseph Montebello of WVOX-AM 1460 Westchester, NY, will interviewDr. Neil Fiore on The Now Habit and Awaken Your Strongest SelfSee "Between the Covers" at WVOX’s website http://www.wvox.com/Wed., June 6 at 11:30 a.m. EDT.
Posted by Neil Fiore at 6:56 PM

Beat Procrastination! Hear Neil Fiore's Now Habit interview:
Learn about healthy self-esteem, self-worth tips New Jersey style:
at http://www.amazon.com/gp/redirect.html/ref=cm_plog_item_link/002-9810318-0720802?ie=UTF8&location=https%3A%2F%2Fvideos.whiteblox.com%2Fgnb%2Fsecure%2Fplayer.aspx%3Fsid%3D32248&token=4F11B69CAA4CEA77D22ADCD3231317AABB813841

FEAR OF FLYING?

Fear of Flying? See Neil's ways of coping. Click:
www.hitchedmag.com/article.php?id=258

Neil Fiore, PhD 510 525 2673
neil@neilfiore.com http://www.neilfiore.com

See www.audible.com for 7-hour Now Habit CDs: PDF for download:
http://download.audible.com/product_related_docs/BK_GDAN_000057.zip

See The Now Habit and Awaken Your Strongest Self at http://www.neilfiore.com/
See Productivity Engineering & Mental Toughness CDs at http://www.hypnosisnetwork.com/