Of wipings, snakes, and PWs...

Another poopy post. William has mastered pooping, although not yet wiping. That said, we found him in the bathroom wiping his friend who had come over to play. When we explained that he was not supposed to do that, he replied, "But she wiped me!"

William has also taken to describing his poop. He tells us that he's either made worms or snakes.

Yesterday William smelled something that he didn't like, so he disgustingly exclaimed, "P.W. !!!" (instead of "Pee you!").

And not to be forgotten is Walker--one year old today! (BTW, Is that a worm sticking out of his belly button?) Crawling over our house, he's grown a bit in the past year.

William is Peeing!

After several toy cars, one $20 potato head, many threats to take the $20 potato head away, and three cold showers, William is finally potty trained! I honestly thought it wouldn't happened. It was beocoming one of the hopes that you know is true but start to believe that--although it will eventually happen--in all likelihood it probably won't happen in your life--kind of like the Millenium, which is when I was beginning to think William becoming potty trained was going to happen. Or maybe on his mission. Anyway, the miracle has occurred--much earlier than expected.

Last night when William was going to bed, he tried to get me to stay in his room. I explained that Mommy needed me to sleep in her bed, so I couldn't stay with him. He didn't relent. I finally asked: "William, why do you need me to stay with you?" "Because you're my husband!" he emphatically replied.

Walker Is Speaking!

Walker learned two new words last week: uh and oh. "Uh oh!" is heard throughout our house as he drops things, and generally makes observations about the world around him. He's also crawling like a madman. He started a week and a half ago. I was here to see the first steps...or crawls, whatever it's called. Now he zooms all over the house--unless he wants to be held. Then he sits , looks at you, and puts his hands up in the air (halfway). He also has developed a deathly scream. It sounds something like the death shrill of the birds in the Uncle Scrooge comic book that broke Scrooge's glass moneybin; or for those who have never read a Carl Barks comic book, it sounds something like some exotic bird in the jungle--the sub Saharan African TeeKah, or something like that--that has a high-pitched shrill which was thought to never be repeatable by human vocal chords, giving its highest shrill while in labor having twins. When Walker calls, we've learned to come--or be deaf for the next hour.

Self checkouts

Self checkouts are a source of great frustration for me. Despite several attempts to get through quickly with my single gallon of milk, inevitably there's always a malfunction that ends up taking more time than going through the regular checkout. "Please see attendant" always pops up. And the attendant is never available. I wait. And wait. And wait. Five people have gone through the regular checkout before the attendant finally comes. "That's strange..." the attendant mutters. "Never seen that before." Well I've seen it before, every other time I've tried to use the self-checkout lane. And if I try to use the regular checkout with my one gallon of milk, everyone in the line--ahead and behind me--looks at me incredulously: "Why doesn't the lad just use the self-checkout and save us all time!"

It has taken several years for me to realize the solution to my self-checkout problem: I refuse to buy only a few items. If I go to buy milk, I also buy eggs (fragile enough that an employee should be handling it when scanning for the price); cereal (a few big boxes that take up a lot of space so it seems like I have a lot of items to check); meat (which must get its own bag so that it can immediately go in the freezer when I return home--an insight that only a well-educated employee bagger would realize); fresh fruit and vegetables (which don't have bar codes, so an employee must input the price information); and yogurt (which usually has some unusual sale price (e.g., buy two get one free) that requires employee checking). Altogether I gather 14 such items, so I can still go in the fewer-then-15-items express lane. A fast lane with an employee checker--it's the best of both worlds. The only issue now is whether the yogurts count as one item or must be counted separately.