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| June got away from me! |
Do you ever struggle with feeling bad about all the things
you aren’t getting done? Sometimes it’s
a daily struggle for me, there’s so many things I enjoy doing, and I’m always
coming up with new goals. Not a day has
gone by this month when I haven’t told myself I need to update my blog, yet I
just had one of those months where I never seemed to have enough time.
When this happens I feel like apologizing. I want to say to my dear readers, I’m sorry I
haven’t been here to entertain you, and to the authors whose books I’ve been
working on reviewing, I’m sorry I’m not getting reviews done faster! But, no matter how much I actually or
mentally apologize, it doesn’t make the reality that all those things on the
to-do list are still waiting to get done, any better. Apologizing seems so useless when I think
about how often I would need to apologize for not getting done something as
quickly as I’d like.
So, should I even bother apologizing? In a job situation, a boss pays an employee
to do a job and if the employee is late too many times he or she loses the
job. I’m not paid to be a blogger, but
if I’m late too many times I could lose readers and authors won’t like giving
me review copies of their books anymore.
What a bummer right? None of this
thinking makes me feel any better, and none of it helps me get motivated to get
back on track with my posts. All the
sudden, something enjoyable has become a source of depression.
Perhaps, my way of thinking needs to change. As I struggle with my feelings I’ve been
reminded of three Bible verses.
Phillippians 4:8, Joel 2:25, and Colossians 3:23. The Phillippians verse- “…whatever is true,
whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure…” it goes on, but I
think you get the point. First off, I
shouldn’t be focusing on all the things I didn’t do, I should be focusing on
something good. How about the things I
did do? This month I gained my
strength
back after being sick, I spent quality time with my mother, I helped her
do a thrift sale, I organized a drawing night event in my community, I
took my
boyfriend to a baseball game for his birthday, I spent time on a
personal
project that I’d been wanting to work on for months. These are all things to feel good about
right? I’m already feeling better, what
about you, is there at least one thing every day that you can feel good
about? Maybe it’s something as simple
as, “I brushed my teeth; I feel good I did that.” Try saying it that way, and you’ll be amazed
how it makes you feel.
The Joel verse… I mentioned to you I was sick (that was back
in May), and I also struggle with depression from time to time (maybe it’s the
brooding artist thing), so my mother reminded me of part of this verse: “I
will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten.” Ok, seems a bit extreme for my situation, it’s
not like locusts ate my crops right?
Things aren’t that bad for me, thinking about it makes me feel like a
spoiled, whiny kid. Is it really fair to
make a comparison? And yet, the promise
is there, and I do believe that God makes up for lost time. Instead of whining about all the things I
didn’t do, I should focus on what I did do, then keep doing what needs to be
done with the promise that God will help me see it through.
Which brings me to
the last verse I was reminded of: “Whatever you do,
work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters.” Hmm… I thought I did this already. I always want to do my best at everything and
honor God through my work. But, if I’m
overly worried about my blog because I’m seeing my readers and authors as my boss,
have I missed the point? I want my readers
to be happy, and authors too. Yet, the
verse mentions doing the work for God, not human masters. As much as I love pleasing people, pleasing
God should come first. If I was kept
busy doing other things this month that God wanted me to do instead of this
blog, I shouldn’t have guilt over that. I’m
not saying that was the case, maybe for some of the time it was, and maybe some
of it was lost to locusts (like time wallowing in depression & sickness). But either way, God has me covered right? I just have to remember as I move forward, to
give this blog my best because that will honor Him.
I needed to be reminded of these three verses, and I am going to try and
keep them in my heart as I move forward into July. Think on what is good, believe that God can
make up for the time I lost, and do the work to the best of my ability for Him. It’s certainly a different way of thinking than what comes natural to
me. But, focusing on what I didn’t do
will only keep me stuck, and now is the time to get unstuck!
Do you have any tips on dealing with guilt over an
unfinished to-do list? I’d love to read
your comments on the subject!
Thanks for
reading this long winded post, I’ll be back with a book review and more happy
art next time I post!
-Monica
Philippians 4:8New International Version (NIV)
8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
Joel 2:25New International Version (NIV)
25 “I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten—
the great locust and the young locust,
the other locusts and the locust swarm[a]—
my great army that I sent among you.
the great locust and the young locust,
the other locusts and the locust swarm[a]—
my great army that I sent among you.
