tagging..

A-ATTACHED OR SINGLE- Attached

B-BEST FRIEND- Marinn
C-CAKE OR PIE- eh, I'm a bigger fan of candy
D-DAY OF CHOICE- everyday
E-ESSENTIAL ITEM- macbook and select tint by mac
F-FAVORITE COLOR- black
G-GREATEST ACCOMPLISHMENT- making the best out of every situation

H-HOBBIES- reading
I-INDULGENCES- dark chocolate
J-JANUARY OR JULY- July
K-KIDS- no way

L-LIFE IS INCOMPLETE WITHOUT- love and challenges
M-MARRIAGE DATE- not married
N-NUMBER OF SIBLINGS- 2 brothers and 3 sisters
O-ORANGES OR APPLES- Oranges
P-PHOBIAS OR FEARS- being kidnapped
Q-QUOTES- "you like decapeerio?"
R-REASON TO SMILE- Takuya, puppies
S-SEASON- spring - rain and flowers...and sweaters
T-TAG – calli
U-UNKNOWN FACT ABOUT ME- I feel more comfortable wearing more than one layer, especially sweaters, even if it's summer
V-VERY FAVORITE STORE- this story called "monkey magic" in Tachikawa aka "monkey banana"
W-WORST HABIT- always giving people lots of chances, making excuses for them on why they are mean
X-X-RAY OR ULTRASOUND- ? I don't care for me
Y-YOUR FAVORITE JUNK FOOD- dark chocolate, ice cream
Z-ZODIAC- Scorpio

I mean business

Honestly? I am having a hard time. Being back only confirms the fact that this is not my home. I love my friends and family, but I have never felt so far away in my life.

I unfortunately have returned to Utah. My visa has expired and bank account runs on empty. I have hopelessly been searching for a job in the states, applying for anything and everything that will hire me as soon as possible. I feel ridiculous running around in a business suit. No one does that here, why?

I found a school in Shinjuku where I will be able to learn and practice Japanese. School starts on January 8th, and I plan to be back, moved in, and comfortable by then. It won't long. Oh how I am counting the days...

I noticed I have become a complete minimalist, boxing up and throwing out everything I have not worn or used in the past 6 months, even tossing (or giving) away silly things such as unused batteries or mechanical pencils. A few days ago, I cleaned out my closet, something I loved to fill with that "I have nothing to wear tonight so I must buy something" weekend outfit or the favorite summer skirt that I loved so much but wore once. What a revitalizing feeling! Once a pack rat, now I look forward to de-junking and letting go of (or holding on to) old memories, good and bad.

It's been hard to let go of that small taste of life which I want to devour. I don't hear the extreme politeness of the convenience store clerk, or the loud jabbers of the people in the subway stations. I know things are so different yet such the same, but I want to FEEL it too. I guess I'll just have to wait.. things happen for a reason, and it only makes us stronger.

those one times

Don't you hate those moments? You know, the ones posted in Seventeen magazine about the girl starting her period on a date to the local amusement park with the boy she likes... while wearing white shorts? Shit.. That sucks, glad it wasn't me.... and glad it wasn't me last night stumbling towards the bathroom covering my mouth escorted by a friend while my significant other sat at our assigned table ducking their head in embarrassment. I'm glad I can somewhat control myself when I'm around someone I like or when having a few drinks...
I've decided that blogs are officially gay. Not in the way that makes you want to go shopping with your best friend, but in the way that makes you cock (hah) an eyebrow and say, hmmm, gay. So I will make this blog - not diary, an opinionated, silly, when I'm home and think of something clever, outlet. Hope I don't let anyone down on the "what I am now doing in my life" lurkers. However, I will occasionally input some life discoveries and fun photos to keep my readers somewhat interested in the odd life I live. (agh! If I have to change my system preferences back to english....oh Takuya...)

just another rainy saturday...

I've come to the conclusion that Japanese apartments stink. There's nothing you can do to get around it. In fact, my door is open right now and I am freezing my ass of as I type, but it's worth it to get rid of the smell. And it's not only my apartment, it's ALL the ones that my friends live in as well. I'm serious. We went and bought inscents and it takes me back to the good ol' days of 7th and 8th grade when my best friend and I would lock ourselves in her bedroom, turn on Ace of Base and talk about boys. Oh nostalgia.
In other news, I am completely convinced our neighbors hate us. And the sad thing is, I can understand why. I'm not just talking about that wrestling match Takuya and I got in because he wouldn't give me a bite of ice cream and so I wouldn't let him finish it and instead it ended up all over the floor and walls, but what goes on outside of our apartment as well. When we found a washing machine sitting outside the apartment building late at night with no one to claim it, we had no other choice but to haul it up 4 flights of stairs and see if it worked. Horray! It has saved us well over 10,000 yen in the past 2 months, although it marked the first "keep an eye on these guys" tally. Since it was late, we failed to recognize the drain, and the plug, intact. Not just once but twice our balcony flooded with water. Our old neighbor, who's alarm goes off every morning at 3:30 came and pounded on our door. Since Takuya works more than any time card I've punched, I had to muster up some courage and face this guy that sleeps 3 hours a night. After trying to figure out what he was saying and then apologize, the next time I did laundry, I started the machine and ran away to the city. A few weeks passed and everything seemed fine... until the day we did 2 loads. As water rushed across ours and our neighbor's balcony and down the fire escape ladders, we realized that not only do the neighbors next to us, but below us as well have a small vendetta to get us kicked out of the building. Now if anyone ever comes and knocks on the door, I pretend I'm not here. What a coward, I know. Anyway, we did end up finding the drain, removing the plug, and entering clean clothes heaven. Now we just have to worry about keeping our voices and laughter to a 12 inch whisper and cooking meals at reasonable hours...
It's my friend Johan's last night in Japan so I must head off to meet him. (I also met Johan last year in Japan. It seems that this country draws the same people back, and makes it such a small world. Everyone I know here has been friends with each other or met one another in a past travel experience to Japan, and has managed to stay friends and meet again after years... kind of amazing if you ask me) I think I'll leave the door open just a crack so I won't have to sage this place when I get home.

enoshima...

Yesterday we spent the day in Enoshima at the beach. Good thing we decided against surfing because there were NO waves. This beach is great, besides the stupid eagle that stole food right from my chopsticks, and hit me on the head with it's wing... haha ass hole bird.
We stayed at the beach long enough to watch the sunset then headed back to Shibuya to celebrate Esin's 23rd birthday. Starting at tasuichi we met some amazing new Japanese friends that we spent the rest of the night with. We went to this awesome bar called the Red Room which duh, is red and has around one hundred incredible antique chandeliers all over the ceiling and the walls. It is so retro, capturing every decade starting with the roaring 20's. Oh I loved it! I got in huge trouble for taking a picture (damn) so when you come to Tokyo make sure you stop in and meet the most famous french couple in Shibuya, who is always there to add a more eclectic feel to this glamorous izakaya.
Oh! Design Festa.. Reminded me a lot of Art's Festival in Salt Lake, just much bigger and inside. Lots of people showing their ideas of what art "really is", bands and good food. Esin volunteered to do interviews, and when she was photographing me for my interview, some young Japanese girls mst have thought I was famous and wanted a picture with me... haha It was interesting to see cool jewelry, robots, an "electronic space metal" band, eat melon pan, guys who thought getting drunk and passing was art, photos depicting suicide, transvestites, and paintings slightly resembling Roy Litchenstein.
This next week we are planning, yet again, a REAL trip to Izu. Rent a car, and drive down to surf for 2 days and hang out on the beautiful sandy beaches. I'm excited. It's soon a new month, and that means Takuya will be able to get days off so we can spend some time together. YEAY!!

who has time for umbrellas?

As much as I love the wonders it does for my hair, breathing this humidity is making it quite hard for me to sleep tonight. The rain has been nonstop for over 12 hours, with me and my Finnish friend Esin running though it without umbrellas. Who would've thought that within 30 minutes of sunshine could turn to clouds, could turn to rain, could turn to hot rain with heavy humidity? I should know, having lived in Utah...
I have always professed my love of this type of weather. With curly hair and dry skin, one could only ask for a slight amount of steam to accentuate what's lacking. I don't remember not being able to breath easy. But wait, no lotion and drinking more water, my hair growing almost twice as fast? How could I complain?
I have not found a job yet, and it's getting down to the wire. I have applied for dozens and dozens of jobs, still applying, and having interviews here and there. No luck yet. I'm starting to get that thing called depression. Thinking of my options, and trying to be realistic, it seems as if I might be heading back to the states if something doesn't turn up soon. My heart drops and my eyes start to fill with tears. It's not supposed to be this way!! I guess life isn't all what you expect it to be.
Yes, we have talked about getting married. And yes I feel in my heart it's right. But, hello, know each other for one year, date for 5 months, and live together for 3? (all within this year period of time..) No way, we need much more time. No reason to rush, and plenty of reasons to set ourselves up for a successful marriage and a life of happiness. However, the idea of going back to long distance, it kills me, and he's not smiling either...

arghhh..

Finding a job has proven harder than imagined. After dozens of sent CVs and multiple interviews, I still haven't found anyone to sponsor my visa. With the experience I have with children and my tesol/tesl certificate, I'm told that's enough to fly through the "certificate of eligibility" and could be soon on my way to dancing and singing while wiping Japanese babies asses for money. Unfortunately, I have run into to bad luck while here. Not for Takuya, I am an "angel" who brought about a free washing machine, got him a raise, let him buy an ipod, and had 2 men carry our fridge to our 4 story apartment, free of charge. (they prolly looked at us and thought, a gaijin girl and a skinny Japanese boy, we better do tis so they don't kill themselves) ps, these are all good stories, all for a later time.
Takuya had his first Costco experience yesterday before coming home from Chiba. As he busts throught the door with his overnight bag (when he works in Chiba he sleeps at his bosses house) and a huge "think green" shopping bag filled with chips, canned tomatoes, bagels, chocolate and the like. He couldn't stop saying how big the costco market is and how everything comes with so much. I think he's going to be amazed/in fear when he comes to America.
Tomorrow is part 2 of Design Festa, an international design festival. duh. My finnish friend is a volunteer photographer for the festival so she got me tickets. I'm excited to see what it's like and maybe get some new inspiration. But it's not like everyday here isn't an inspiration...