My Photography Journey

Happened to be looking through some old photos which I took years ago and started to reflect on my journey in photography which began in 2001 when I was posted overseas for my NS obligation.

Photography back then was simply an outlet for my lack of contact with friends and family, it was simple 35mm film compact with zoom, I vaguely remember it was a Fujifilm camera, but I seriously cannot recall anymore. I took a lot of photos even though they were rather costly and time consuming to develop. I even had to use a self-created order sheet for friends to get their prints. There was basically no skill to talk about here, but simply memories.

In June 2003, I bought my first digital camera, a Sony DSC-P8. It was considered state of the art, released in Feb 2003. That started my shutterbug syndrome since I am no longer bounded by the cost of prints, but simply storage space which was quite accessible at that time (that explains the useless 20GB and 40GB Ext HDDs I had lying around). Most of the shots were candid and I mastered the art of surprising people, framing my shots without the LCD or viewfinder. This, I guess, was the actual start of my journey in photography, the most essential skill called "Framing". However, unknown to me, I was very limited by the ISO and Aperture.

In Nov 2005, I got onto the trend of Ultra-zoom compacts, a Sony DSC-H1 with 12x optical zoom. I thought I had broken away from the limitations of the old camera, only to realise that all I gained was more focal range. This started the lazy photographer syndrome where the zoom takes care of everything while I stay rooted at a comfortable spot and shoot. I was frustrated that some zoomed-in photos did not turn out as how I would have expected and this started my learning on focal length and field/angle of view. It was also during this period that I learnt about ISO and Aperture with the "Manual" mode available on the camera.

In June 2008, 5 years since I started digital photography, I bought my first DSLR, an end-of-the-line EOS 400D with an EF-S 17-85mm as a kit, together with a Speedlite 430EX II flashgun and battery grip. This was the first time I understood the word "Bokeh" and not long after, I made my first serious investment into photography, the Canon EF 24-70mm f/2.8L USM in Nov. This is also where I finally tried out various things in photography, but if I were to judge those photos today, I would fail at least 70% of them. The turning point was when I got to try out studio photography in 2009 for the school and finally getting to help in the Photography club in 2010 that I learnt a lot, especially from the talented students we had. I had lots of opportunities, covering school events, church events and weddings throughout this period and it caused me to grow and mature a lot.

In March 2012, after 4 years of waiting, I made my second investment in the Canon EOS 5D mk III. However, instead of moving ahead in photography, I find myself stagnant. All the technical knowledge built up over the years are now used to dispense instructions to students on event coverage and stuff, but I am not continuing the learning. I have simply returned to where I started off, capturing memories.

After all this reflecting, I have come to conclude that photography is all about "capturing the moment", the fancy gear and technical knowledge are merely tools for us to capture that image we can visualise in our minds. What matters the most is the "eye" to "see" such moments.

ACTSpedition Cambodia (GACI) 03-08 Dec 2011

I went on a ACTSpedition trip with Generation ACTS Club International from 3rd Dec to 8th Dec, first time as a participant of a Service Learning trip and also first time partnering a village church under the Assembly of God umbrella, managed by a local Cambodian pastor, Ps Moses.

Day 1 - 3rd Dec 2011

Reading: Galatians 1

Reflection:

I had not packed earlier, due to the surreal experience that I have actually agreed to the trip. I do have a heart to want to support such trips as both a service to the beneficiaries and also an outreach to the locals as we expand the influence of the global church, but I always believe that I will take the back seat, hence this trip is really a breakthrough for me. However, my main reflection was whether I am doing this to please Men or God? I really do not have an answer to that, but after the whole trip, I do conclude that I would not have went alone.

During my packing God also spoke to me through things that happened. I was planning to bring my cheaper lens for the trip out of a worrying attitude regarding my belongings, basically I was ready to give only the bare minimum. However, God caused me to test out my cheaper lens before I packed it, and it failed after 2 test shots. I wrestled with it for 2 hours, plowing through online forums to find a "cure" to it such that I can avoid bringing my expensive lens to the trip, but to no avail. God finally prompted my heart with this question, "Why are you not willing to give your best?". I struggled for a while and finally let go, also acknowledging that I have not been able to keep the lens in tip top condition by my own efforts anyway, and I shall just commit its protection to God.

On arrival, we went to the Tuol Sleng Genocide Crime Museum. They had rooms of photos of the victims, and these faces represented people. There were also some which I found to be similar to some people I have met in my life and I wondered to myself, "How will I feel if these people were my family or friends?". I do not dare to think too much down that line, but the positive part about the whole history of Cambodia is its openness to foreign influence now as a growing nation and we play a part in molding it through this trip.

Day 2 - 4th Dec 2011

Reading: Romans 15-16

Reflection:

The main reflection from the passage was a challenge to go where no one has preached the gospel. This trip is building upon the good work started by Assembly of God church and also the few teams that have gone before us. We are also preparing the way for the teams after us, part of the bigger chain and scheme of things, The question for myself is "When will I start some new work in a place where the gospel has not been preached?"

We took the morning to travel down to Kampong Speu province and visited Ps Kala's church. She is the person overseeing the AOG churches in that region. Her church is also running English classes and a pre-school as part of its outreach to the locals. The village church we are working with is also providing affordable English lessons to the villagers. Found out a lot about the Cambodian education scene from her and felt really sad about the state of corruption, how the lowly paid teachers have to resort to tuition with high charges where they leak exam questions. It is something that I really cannot accept for people of this noble profession, but yet I can understand how their needs influenced their decisions and actions.

We finally made our way down to the village church and started work on the roof of the shed as Ps Moses had already did up the supporting frame. The air was filled with the aroma of cow dung and I stepped on some of them and dust clouds were kicked up whenever a vehicle passes by. The rear door of the van which brought us around became a dust cloud booby trap when you close it down. In just one afternoon, we put up all the supporting bamboo for the roof and completed tying 20% of the leave flaps onto the roof and the sisters complete one out of two pieces of wall cover. We were very much ahead of time by God's grace.

Day 3 - 5th Dec 2011

Reading: Nehemiah 1-3

Reflection:

Morning devotion reading reminded me of the favour God has showered on the team through providing for us financially. Joy's VP at work helped her garnered a total of S$1200 in donations, which is our original target, so we had a lot more than what we had planned for. I was also touched by the way the brothers worked hand in hand over all the hard physical labour, standing next to each other and building the roof together. I was also thankful for the beautiful sunrise I managed to catch as I woke up earlier than the time for morning devotion.

We went on to finish the roof by lunch time and hence we proposed to actually cement the foundation of the shed since we had 2 more days and also quite a bit of budget left. This was a whole cycle of interesting unfolding. We were first informed that the materials will arrive in the afternoon and we could possibly complete it by the end of the day, however there was no sight of them for the day. We went back for dinner and had a good time of learning about work culture in Cambodia.

Day 4 - 6th Dec 2011

Reading: Nehemiah 4-6

Reflection:

This morning was a continuation of the cycle of interesting thing, our Facilitator had to break the news to us that we cannot go ahead with the cementing as the land we are building on does not belong to Ps Moses. This is a new discovery that actually in Cambodia, only females owned land and the land we were building on belonged to his sister. The reading for morning devotion encouraged me to pray for God to strengthen our hands which are sore and tired and also for the stability of the shed without the cement foundation.

We went over to the village for another surprise. We reached the place seeing the walls of the shed removed, 3 extended beams were put up and a group of about 10 over villagers gathered. At first sight I guessed the intention but was hoping I was wrong, we were going to move the whole shed. It had turned out that over the night, Ps Moses had spoken to his sister and they had agreed to move the location of the shed to the back as his sister plans to build her house on the current location of the shed. It was really an iconic and once-in-a-lifetime experience for us all.

We succeeded in moving the shed, but had to break the news to Ps Moses about us being unable to go ahead with the cementing even though the materials have arrived. We had to level the ground around the new location of the shed and the original location, which became quite a lot of work for us. Thus we had to pay for 2 workers to help dig soil in order to fill the ground inside the shed. We also had to clear some cow dung dump pile in the process. That kept us busy for the whole day.

Day 5 - 7th Dec 2011

Reading: Nehemiah 7-9

Reflection:

The reading reminded me of the different roles we play and also convicted my heart of the sin of my frustration and complaints about how a sister interfered with my work and caused it to be less effective and more tiring. I repented and allowed God to work my heart to accept the differences we have. This was also the last and most challenging day of our project.

We had to organise 2 parties for the kids and the brothers now need to be involved in the interaction. We had been working on the physical shed so far and have had little interaction with the kids and nearly zero knowledge of Khmer, the Cambodian language. The morning party went well and things turned out fine. After which we worked on the bottled light solution for the shed.

The afternoon party was a nightmare as the sisters had to assess the English standard of the older kids and hence 4 men were left with about 10 plus 2-4 year old toddlers. It was like babysitting 101. We were really glad when the first group of older kids came to join us as we could start doing songs and dance with them. But the whole assessment process was so long that we could not hold their attention any more and chaos ensued. However it all ended in the way we planned and had an extended meeting with Ps Kala and Ps Moses to round up our whole project.

Day 6-8 - 8th-10th Dec 2011

Reading: Nehemiah 10-13

Reflection:

Day 6 was travel back to Phnom Penh where we met GuanRui's team who will be continuing our work. This is followed by our Cultural Roadblock where we had three tasks not to be disclosed. The first and third tasks were easy with the help of Google, but the second task took us around Central Market for about 20 mins. We finally had to eat some local snack which was rather unsettling. We rounded up our programme with GACI and started out our R&R after lunch. Which was basically shopping.

Day 7 was a day of rest, late breakfast followed by Neck, Shoulder and Back massage which left some bruises on my back. We spent the rest of the day simply shopping as much as we can and ended the day with our last devotion. I was reminded of how our project is but one of the many that the place will go through and how the city of Jerusalem was built from strength to strength from David, to Solomon and finally rebuilt by Nehemiah. I pray that the small shed we helped with will eventually be built into a school for the village.

Day 8 was simply breakfast and travel back to Singapore for a well-deserved rest. However there was a little episode about our spending at DFS, we were told that we could redeem the Angry Bird plush toy at Terminal 3, but turned out otherwise. A little disappointment but nonetheless, glad to be back in sunny and technologically advanced Singapore.

Back in action

I had thought that all the busy-ness at work would have totally killed my passion for writing and blogging, but I suddenly woke up so early this morning that I felt I had to write.

Some update from my facebook note, I had managed to keep up the exercise regime only until June, then term 3's hectic schedule took over, but fear not, the holidays are here and I shall resume!

I also realised how emo I can actually be over this period, it is really like re-discovering myself. I have started on some Bible reading plans courtesy of Youversion.com and I hope to be able to pen down my thoughts somewhere. I will likely be starting a personal journal and whenever I have anything which I feel will encourage others, it will be posted here!

Oh and backlogging, I had the most wonderful birthday this year in Orchard central on 8th June 2011 and also all the way up in Kukup on 25th June 2011, with fireworks and a KongMing lantern!

New Purchase

For a healthy living, 20 mins a day! Bought @ S$560, residing in my bedroom now (",)

17 March 2011 - 5 mins warm-up + 15 mins workout

18 March 2011 - 20 mins workout

The 29th Year of KC and the 1st day in the 7th month of the 11th Year in Christ

I had just celebrated my 28th birthday and by divine arrangement, i came to know God just 1 day short of 6 full months from my 17th physical birthday.

Counting back, this is the start of my 29th year on this planet Earth and also the 1st day in the 7th month of the 11th year that Jesus came into my life.

The whole deal of birthdays is actually getting quite mundane for myself, i feel that i have reach the age where birthday rituals were no longer necessary. this mentality has manifested itself in the way i celebrate the birthdays of others; for acquaintances, i simply acknowledge their birthday with a simple greeting; for close friends, i simply set aside time to be spent with them over a simple lunch/dinner treat with a genuine desire to find out more about their life and appreciate them for who they are in my life.

i was glad to have the chance to organise a gathering for some old NUS people as claire was back for a short trip, it was made into a small celebration for me and weizhu also, however, it wasn't a party, but more of an extended time to catch up with people. that was the saturday before my birthday. all the people there reminded me of a lot of things and a lot of dreams and aspirations we had in the NUS days. also the impact i have made in some areas, people i "discipled".

the thursday was spent with another close friend who has been a source of guidance since 2003 and a dear friend who shares a lot of my life and struggles. the lunch and extended time of catching up was really enjoyable, no birthday rituals, but just simple sincere sharing of our lives and experiences. it was also one of the few times that i spent a long period in a bookstore.

friday was a struggle, or to be exact, thursday night. my heart was really unsettled about missing CG for a meet-up with wilson and jocelyn, but i had made a promise and i needed to honour it. the meet-up was filled with fun but i was rather dismayed to learn that they no longer think that there is a God. i do pray that they will one day be able to share in this joy of salvation.

saturday was spent at sijia and howjoo's house warming. i was really glad to see daisy and dehua, really miss these dear people who saw me through my NUS years, all the time we invested in people and each other. the times at NUH canteen for supper with dehua and the time during matriculation supporting daisy in the OG, these co-labourers whom i have served with in the fervent days of my life. it really reminded me of all the passion and energy we had.

today was spent at service and with the additional Uni-YA people who joined us. really blessed to see these lives which reminds me of the passionate growth and outreach we had strived for. the birthday celebration my CG had arranged was rather fun and meaningful at the same time, but i guess i would have preferred more time for sharing of certain things which weigh down in my heart. the game played was one where i had to choose 1 out of 5 gift cards from the giftTRAP game. the game made me realise that my way of thinking can be too complicated for people at times. i was surprised by some people's perception of me. or maybe how they applied their own thinking into my situation. i made choices which were irrational to some of them, but i do have very strong rationales for my choices.

i chose a basketball hoop over zero gravity experience; well who needs such an experience? it is rather meaningless to me although it maybe a once in a lifetime chance, but some people had felt that i would jump at the chance. to me, if it is meaningless, it doesn't matter how exclusive or expensive or rare the thing is.

i chose a puppy over a family holiday; well this is one thing that people do not know so i do not expect anyone to get it right, but i will not be able to go on a family holiday even if i wanted to. also i had always wanted a pet dog since i was young, a husky would be best!

the other choices were not as controversial as much of it is by elimination, which is my usual way of short-listing things and i guess some of them learnt that about me.

i used to think that i'm a very open person and easy to read, but this game had made me understand how hard it is for a man to know another's heart and mind, only God can. i was really surprised by the sharing of affirmations about me, i seriously had no idea how i made a difference in the lives of others, but i guessed those were the times where i had allowed the Holy Spirit to lead me, or to be exact, allowed love to lead me. i am also reminded of a spiritual gift that i have not been exercising actively, the gift of pastor; i have a strong desire to want to take care and help others whom i love and share a strong friendship with and to that end i will remain loyal.

some shared about how i have grown, but some of it was quite vague. huaqiang shared that he was encouraged by my desire to read, but truth be told, he is the reason that i would want to read. my motivation to read comes from the knowledge and desire to discuss what i have read with him. i am intellectual, but i do not like to think on my own, i love to bounce my ideas and understanding off others. the reason i was looking for a study bible was as a refreshing replacement to the bible which i have passed to my brother and also because of the trip to tecman on thursday with my dear friend, whose passion for reading rubbed off me that day.

now that i have received a study bible as a birthday gift, i shall commit to reading it and by God's grace write out my devotions which may in turn bless others. i do believe that i have grown, but it is not of any credit to myself, rather it is God softening my heart through the lives of these dear friends around me.

God is good, and i just wanted to record His goodness in all these experiences which i had. also i want to give thanks for Ellson who called me all the way from indonesia to say happy birthday (he intercepted all the smses in that way LOL), Meiling who "cheated" by sending sms 10 mins before midnight on sat, Claramae whose sms came in at 12 midnight sharp and in the midst of her packing for her 10 am flight to climb a mountain, Huaqiang, Huichun and Weizhu whose msges streamed in after that, followed by friends who came up to me during service, Doreen, Jocelyn, Joy, Peifang, Jiayan, Michelle, Benaiah and my CG people, followed by Melissa and Robert, Kangwei, Chiyen and Yanjie whose msges streamed in the late afternoons and also the FB msges by my colleagues and students. God is good to me.

Gatherings

claire dropped by singapore after attending a wedding in KL, so i helped to organised a NUS gathering @ toa payoh. it was really a good time of catching up. i really thank God for these dear brothers and sisters whose lives keep encouraging me to live out the life to which God has called me to. God give us the strength to live each day for You!

Retail Therapy

bought a few items to spice up my mundane life, a watch, a wallet and 2 sling bags

next up on my wish list would be the camera backpack that i have been eyeing, the Kata 3N1-33 and also updating my wardrobe.

anyway my watch, CITIZEN Eco-Drive Chronograph Men's Watch AT0788-52L

wallets and bags are from FX Creations
1st sling for work, FX Creations Model SH990268
2nd sling for casual, FX Creations Model WES67921
wallet's an old model, cldnt find it online LOL