Sierra's Unsolicited Baby Advice (in no particular order)

There are so many things I wish people had told me about having a kid. Seriously so many. People gave me plenty of unsolicited advice, but most of it was nice advice. Not the nitty gritty. My sister Sam told me some very sweet things, which I highly suggest you read, but I was still unprepared for some things. So here goes- 1. Let's just get this post started with boobs. Breastfeeding is my own personal hell and my poor nipples had a rough go. My good friend Richelle told me to get something called Newman's Nipple Cream. It's prescription so you have to ask your doctor for it but it's worth every penny. It will heal your poor cracked bleeding nipples overnight and it helps ward off thrush (Google this and remember you don't want it). And unlike the pure lanolin it isn't sticky (I would liken it to Neosporin) which is fantastic. 2. Also while we are talking boobs, a good nursing bra is a must- but you already knew that- but what you didn't know is that a good pumping bustier is a must. Pumps are science's gift to women especially in the engorgement phase, and maybe I'm only the ADD person who can't sit still holding a pump for 15 minutes without going crazy because I have both hands holding the pump instead of looking up cat videos on my phone. But then again maybe I'm not. Just saying. Try this experiment next time you get up at pee at 2 am- sit and stare at the wall for 15 minutes to see if you can save yourself $20 on the bustier. Or just take my word for it and buy one before the kid comes and thank me later. Also-take your pump to the hospital. They told me Libby wasn't gaining weight and that I needed to give her formula in the hospital. Another nurse just had me pump and then give it to her which helped my milk come in. 3. I know everyone is enamored with those spendy gliding rocking chairs. I tried out a couple. Waste of time and money. I bought a $150 recliner (which rocks when not reclining) and love the hell out of it. It's so nice to put my feet up while I nurse and have squishy arm rests to help hold my arms up. 4. Buy a humidifier for the baby's room. Babies get boogers that require sucking from time to time. Maybe this event will be butterflies and roses for you- but my kid hates it and screams bloody murder. The humidifier helps a ton. Plus she seems to enjoy the white noise. 5. Diaper bags are stupid. For reals stupid. Whoever decided that something that goes over one shoulder that you fill with everything including the kitchen sink so you develop positional scoliosis from carrying it, not to mention the fact that you will be bending over 800 times thus causing it to swing forward and fall off your shoulder. Yep stupid. I know- some of them are dang cute but trust me on this one- get a backpack. They rule. They have divided pockets, lots of room, and they are nice and secure on your back fending off scoliosis and the dreaded forward swing. I have a Northface Recon backpack that is amazing. 6. Babies are basically velocaraptors. They have claws from day one that grow constantly and quickly and will shred themselves and your chest. To avoid the carnage buy some baby fingernail clippers so you have them when you come home from the hospital. 7. Im a hardcore pampers diaper buyer- but I believe in the Huggies wipe. Let me explain. My wonderful sister Sam is the one who turned me onto this. Not only do they smell better but you can also tear them easier which is a good thing. When you first bring them home their bums are so small and the poops are small and frequent. If you tear the wipes in half or even into thirds you get way more bang for your buck. I know- wipes are cheap (I buy the industrial size ones on Amazon for $10) but every little bit adds up. 8. Speaking of Amazon- I love it. I never have to go get diapers or wipes or anything. It comes to my house and that is priceless to me. I highly encourage you to use Amazon or diapers.com- not only because you can avoid leaving the house but also because it helps you avoid the baby supply isle at target/Walmart and it will save you from buying cute but ultimately superfluous baby cloths that the bastards surround the diapers with knowing you won't be able to resist. 9. Paper plates and cups and, gasp, plastic cutlery are your friend. I realize I'm offending every environmentalists out there- myself included, but dammit, at first you are more tired than you knew could be possible and the very idea of dishes made me want to stab people. Eating and then throwing away the mess was a fantastic idea for me. 10. Back to boobs. I know everyone hates on Lululemon- but damn they make a fantastic sports bra. Best of my life. My lactation consultant knew how much I was looking forward to running again and suggested the Boobie Bracer (I wasn't chesty enough and needed the Bitty Bracer instead). It was spendy but worth every penny. 11. Sheepskin slippers. Aside from the night sweats- oh so fun- I was freezing my ass off the first two months. Seriously I was wearing tights under my sweats. Nate bought me some sheepskin slippers from L.L. Bean that saved my life. I basically wear them 12 hours a day when I'm home. And I know what you're thinking- those things must stink! But sense they are real sheepskin (this is key) they are naturally anti-microbial and don't stink. Don't believe me? Come over and smell them. ;) 12. I realize this might hit a couple nerves...but whatever. I hated my labor and delivery nurse. She was lazy and only wanted to do the minimum. I had a nurse friend who shall remain nameless tell me later that you can request a different nurse. Seriously? I totally would have. Sometimes you just don't get along with your nurse and that's ok. Labor is hard enough when you are not thinking about throat punching your nurse. 13. Buy a stroller. Now. Getting out of the house for a walk everyday helped me not kill myself. Having a baby is tough. Life changing in more ways than I was prepared for. But going outside for a walk helps me a ton. I bought the City Mini GT (per Sam's suggestion. She is a genius) and love the hell out of it. 14. I saved the best for last. The first postpartum poop is a bitch. I have advice that I'm not posting online. Call me if you want details. :)

The Birth Story

Our baby was due July 17th. On July 2nd I started having contractions. Dayna had me download a contraction timer app on my phone so when the contractions started I was ready. They were fairly inconsistent and I went about my day. Nate kept asking if he needed to come home and I just kept saying—meh stay at work you're only a half hour away; if they get closer then you can bust home. I had gone in to get checked on the 1st and the baby had dropped and I was dilated to a 4. My doctor said let's keep that baby cooking, but just so you know I'm on call this weekend. The night of the 2nd we went to dinner and shopping and the contractions started coming five to seven minutes apart and we thought maybe we were going to have her on the second. Which I was thrilled for (7x2=14 so cleaver right!?!?) But after dinner and an excursion to Second Damn to take some pregnant belly shots to show the baby someday, the contractions stopped. So whatever. Nate said- should I take tomorrow off work? I said—nah if the contractions start again you can come home.

For the last month of pregnancy I had taken to sleeping in our guest bedroom. I had to get up to pee every hour or so and I had some insomnia so I didn't want to wake up Nate by watching tv at all hours of the night. I had a couple contractions that night and I thought my water broke (it looked like I peed my pants) but there were no real contractions the next morning. So I called my doctor and the PA did and ultrasound to make sure the baby had enough amniotic fluid left. Sure enough- my water hadn't broke. Yep that means I peed my pants. Awesome. The PA said- you're not having this baby yet. So I cleaned my house and took and nap and waited for Nate to come home so we could watch the fireworks and go to bed. Our friends the Buttars came over to watch fireworks and so did Nate's parents. Fireworks are what knocked Nate loose so I joked with my neighbors that maybe the fireworks would knock our baby loose. Well they did. About 2 am I started having contractions about 7-15 minutes apart. I had them steady until about 5 am. They were so bad I slept on the couch in between contractions. I didn't want to wake Nate up until I absolutely had to just in case they stopped again. I texted my mom a picture of me all strung out from a night of contractions and told her the baby was coming. (Actual photo below).

By 6:30 the contractions were consistently 5 minutes apart and starting to hurt worse so I woke Nate up and told him this was it. He sprang out of bed and said why didn't you tell me sooner and I said- so you could sleep silly. No point in is both being miserable. He said- should we go to the hospital and I told him I wanted to take a shower first in case I didn't get one for a few days. In the shower the contractions started coming 3-4 minutes apart and I thought- hey if I was already dilated to a 4 and they are this close together we could have this baby by noon! Yay! Ha boy was I wrong. We went to the hospital and checked in and the contractions were coming 2-3 minutes apart and getting stronger. I planned to go for a natural birth and was refusing the epidural. The nurse came in to check me to see how far I was dilated. STILL A 4! Dammit. So we tried all kinds of positions to help with contractions and they gave me an IV. The tech was such an idiot though and couldn't get it in my wrist and put it in my elbow instead. Bad plan. Every time I bent my elbow it stopped the IV drip and set off some alarms. The doctor came in and broke my water saying it would help speed up the process but he warned me it would hurt worse. Meh I said. Quicker is better. Bring it on. There was screaming. Lots of screaming. And swearing. And I puked. Very glamorous I know. At 11:30 they came I to check me. 4.5. Are you kidding me? At this point the contractions were coming every minute or two and lasting about a minute. I tried some narcotic pain killer but it didn't help it just made me forget to breath. Scary. At 12 they checked again. No progress. The doctor suggested that I had stalled because my body couldn't relax. He suggested the epidural. No progress? Give me the epidural. Give it to me now! Now this is the fun part. The anesthesiologist came in to give me the epidural and they had me bend over a pillow (yes I'm still having contractions) and Nate came over to stand in front of me and keep me still and help me through it. As they were swabbing my back and getting ready to poke me Nate says calmly, "I'm going to pass out." I look up at him scream- "catch Nate" and then he passed out. His last conscious thought was to fall backwards so he didn't land on me and risk paralyzing me- which was so loving and great- but bad because behind him was a dresser thing that he was going to bash his head off of and break his neck. When I screamed to grab Nate the anesthesiologist reached his right hand over my shoulder and grabbed Nate by the hand as he passed out and the nurse assisting him jumped around my bed and caught Nate and eased him into a chair. It was hilarious. And scary. When he came around he immediately tried to get up and he was white and green and sickly looking and all three of us told him to lay back down! He asked what happened and why he was laying down. So funny.

It took the epidural a minute to kick in but once it did- oh man. It was amazing. Why I ever wanted to try to do it natural is beyond me. Drugs are amazing. So they gave me a drug to help the contractions be stronger but I couldn't feel them whew!

And by six they checked me and I had finally dilated to a 9. Yay! Time to push? Nope. They suggested waiting an hour to let my body get ready. We figured me what's an hour after waiting all damn day. So we waited. At 7 we started the show. I asked the average push time for a first time mom. The nurse said an hour to and hour and a half. Ok I got this. The nurse half-assed explained how to push and she and Nate held my feet. I can't feel anything so I have no idea if I'm pushing or if I'm pushing right. The first hour goes by. Nothing. The second hour. Nothing. The nurse and Nate lie to me and tell me there is progress. And there is. A little. We can finally see the top of her head. It's covered in black hair. Another half hour of hard pushing, four times instead if three during contractions and the nurse says they are almost ready so the doctor is coming. Now a word about my doctor Barry Noorda- he is a badass. Straight up. He gets pulled over for speeding coming to the hospital to deliver the baby and does not pull over. He drives into the hospital parking lot, gets his insurance and registration and his wallet and tosses them to the cop (he said- I was hoping he wouldn't shoot me) and says- I have to go deliver a baby. If you need to give me a ticket just leave it on my windshield with my wallet. Peace. And he walked inside. (Side note- he didn't get a ticket and his wallet was on his windshield when he left haha) So Dr. Noorda shows up in shorts and flip flops straight up coming from a BBQ and fireworks and delivers the baby after we debate hot dogs and hamburgers being more American. Straight up badass. Now we had planned to have Nate cut the umbilical cord but when Dr Noorda got there he said, ah no wonder it hurt so bad and took so long. The baby was sunny side up and crooked. Seriously her cone head was coming out the side of her head not the top. Ugh. And when she came out she didn't cry. Noorda quickly went into action and cut the cord and passed her off to the nurse who put the baby on oxygen. Nate said how are you and I said fine go to the baby she's not crying! So Nate went to the baby. Noorda then said- ok here comes the easy part. Delivery of the placenta. Except it wasn't easy. At all. It was stuck. They gave me more narcotic (I stopped breathing again) and they pushed and prodded and it wouldn't come out so he had to pull it out. Then it ripped in half. Great. So now they had to scrape out the remaining part. Fantastic. It hurt so bad and that was with the narcotic and the epidural. Nate was freaking out about me and I was freaking out about the baby. But it was ok. I got a couple little stitches and some antibiotics and they brought the baby to me which was great.

Peeing Outside...er Pregnant Camping

Here's the thing about peeling outside- I'm good at it. Great actually. Growing up at sheep camp ensured I can pee anywhere anytime. So when we decided to go camping five weeks before I was due everyone thought we were nuts; but I knew it was fine because I can pee outside. While Nate was at work I went up blacksmith fork and set up our tent so no one would take our spot. I've never set up our tent alone before so setting it up alone and fat was an adventure but I got it done. Side note- thank you Kelty for making such good easy to assemble tents. After that I went grocery shopping and waited for Nate to get off work so we could go adventuring. We left Sage and the puppies at home and headed up the canyon. Nate made tinfoil dinners and Dutch oven cobbler. It was awesome. While we waited for it to cook we look up to the hillside and a herd of sheep came grazing by. It was gorgeous and made me homesick.

Per Nate's suggestion I went over and in my broken Spanish invited the herder to dinner. It was fun. When we settled in for the night I discovered the one teeny flaw in my plan. Fatty didn't fit to well in a mummy bag. However I managed to wiggle my way down into the bag and was soon fast asleep. Then the fun started. I had to pee. If you think getting into a mummy bag 8 months pregnant is fun, imagine how fun it is to try to shuck yourself out of one with a baby on your bladder trying not to owe your pants. Multiple times a night. Ah! It was pure comedy I tell you. And each time I barely made it out of the bag and was desperately clawing at the tent zipper and figure out shoes and finally just giving up and peeing barefoot just outside the tent door. It was a wild adventure for sure but it was still so fun and worth a bad night's sleep. Author's note- if I had known then how precious sleep was I might not have felt the same hahaha

The adventures of Nate and Fatty

By March I was starting to show and had a rather cute little belly. So naturally I started calling myself fatty. And having adventures. Winter is long and cold around Logan so when spring even offers some sunshine Nate and I start finding spots of dirt that have melted off and we hike them. Well mountain goat them technically because there are no trails and Nate Dube Death Marches me straight up the damn hill. Now during the annual Robinson's President's Day Retreat I thought I was out if shape when I would get tired part way down a run. I was mistaken. Hiking carrying a 20lb fanny pack as I had taken to calling my bump. I was very active my whole pregnancy. Partially because I'm stubborn- everyone kept telling me to slow down and take it easy (I wish I had listened. I'm so tired now.) and partially because I'm just active. So Nate and I went frolfing, and shooting, and fishing, and hiking, and golfing. I looked hilarious worth my big old belly but it was all so much fun! Oh the adventures we had. They make me excited for the adventures we will have again someday.

Autoliv Here We Come

The story about finding out the baby's gender would be incomplete if I didn't mention that Nate found out on his way to the doctor that he had a job interview the next day with a company in Brigham City called Autoliv. They make (among other things) airbags. The job was in the quality department and he was told he needed to prepare a ten minute presentation on anything he wanted to. Anything!?!? Seriously that is a very open ended thing. Should he talk about Lacrosse? His school? Hunting? His hot wife? Hahaha he actually decided to do a presentation on being a CNA (in my opinion CNAs should make more than doctors. They do the nasty horrible stuff for minimum wage.) and how being a CNA would make him good at business because business was all about people. He talked about a guy he took care of while he was a CNA. His presentation was so good one woman on his panel cried. Yes ladies and gentlemen he is that good. Anyway when we were finding out the gender Nate was so distracted because he was focused on getting this job and taking care of us. He was nervous and planning his presentation. Anyway one kid from his MBA class who was bilingual and a guy from Autoliv also interviewed but Nate is amazing and he got the job! Yay! Which is good because I was done with my job June 1st and we needed the moolah to pay for the bacon! :) I'm ridiculously proud of him. They started him mid march and he had to work and do school at the same time which was tough but he is tough so it's all good.

Oh boy! Er...girl?

When we found out I was pregnant I was convinced we were having a boy. Partially because I don't understand girls and I'm bad at girl stuff like hair and makeup, and partially because I always only wanted boys (for those reasons- sorry Libby) and partially because Nate dreamed it was a boy. So since we weren't telling anyone about the baby until well after my first trimester and we were convinced it was a boy we (I) decided to start calling him Sparticus so I could tell Nate stuff Spart related and not tip people off. It was our code word. Well February rolled around and we finally got to go find out what we were having for sure- side note, how the hell do people wait to find out? I can't even wait to open my Christmas presents. I do it early and I always have since I was a kid. Imagine my surprise when Sparticus turned out to be Spartica. Yep. Our boy was going to be a girl. I was not prepared for that news. I'm not good with girls. I don't understand makeup and hair... But I guess the best laid plans of mice and moms and whatnot.... We were shocked and excited and now we will never come up with a name. When the ultrasound tech was working it was funny because she was having a hard time getting what she needed because the baby wouldn't hold still. Our little girl was already so active and energetic the ultrasound tech would tap on my belly to get her to hold still. It was funny. And we were worried for the future of a very active little girl!

The Money Maker?

So we always figured that since Sage is a ritzy hunting dog we would breed her. I hatched a brilliant plan that we should breed her this spring and sell her puppies to pay for the baby. I selected a stud dog in Ogden and dropped Sage off for some quality time. The contract guaranteed one successful paring. Sage had been there a week and no luck so I figured we miscalculated her cycle and told him I was coming to get her. He called the next day to say they had paired. I figured he just wanted paid so when I went to go get her I chewed him out and made him give me my money back. Well guess how that crow tasted 63 days later? Not good. Because not only did she get bred, but she had eight of the cutest puppies ever. We were slated to leave for Colorado to go dock sheep Friday night but alas, Sage had other plans. Thursday night she was acting really weird. Panting and running around to me and Nate and didn't want to be alone. I said Nate- she's in labor. He said nah. I said- yeah. He said Nah. Then out came a puppy and he said- yeah!!! From 11-1 we had six puppies and I thought she was done but at 4 am out came two more. It was crazy. She kicked them off and loved them and nursed them. It was so cute. Then I had to go to Lowes the next day and get supplies and build a brooding box. I was unprepared because I seriously didn't think she was pregnant. And since we didn't dare leave the puppies alone Nate and his dad made a fly by night trip to Colorado and left me to tend puppies since I wasn't going to be much help docking because of being pregnant. The puppies were so cute and so fun. Nate and I played with them all the time. Which was a bad plan. We got too attached. I bawled every time we sold one. They paid for the baby but I swear I'm never doing that again!