ATTENTION...

My blog has finally moved to a new Bachelorette Pad.... oopps I mean Bachelor Pad. Finally decided to move to a greener pasture after almost half a decade bloggin in Blogspot. So anyway for those who are still keen to read my entries do feel free to email me at nasirbogus@gmail.com or give me a nudge in MSN and I'll forward you the new link. And please update yourlink...

I'm feel so motivated.....yeah rite.

This entry contains pictures…

The entire office had a seminar in the morning today. It’s regarding some Blue Print thingy where we look forward to our company’s future and such. It was ok but since it was held in the morning, half the audience fell asleep. Like oopps!!! What did you say again?

It all those corporate talks which is useful and motivating at certain points and bored to death at another. All of us got a door gift. It’s a compass and it looks expensive. I think that’s where our remaining bonus money went to, to get a compass which I can’t even you on a real topography map. Well the compass works just that instead of having North, South, East, West directions, its being replace with R I S E which stands for Responsibility, Integrity, Self Renewal and Excellence. It’s supposed to be our company’s core value. But nonetheless it’s still a gift hur hur hur…. Now I wonder if I can get a profit if I pawn it. Hmm?

Met some team members who arrived from Dubai. Hur hur hur…. I tried to avoid them cause they would simply ask me the same old questions. Getting bored with it already.

We had a guest speaker, Dr William Tan. He is an Asian Paralympics Triple Gold medallist. I saw him quite a few times in the office previously and I actually went for one of his seminar last year. I was actually dragged by my team leader to go for it. He does marathon around the world to raise fund for children with cancer. He travelled around the world doing marathon in 7 continents within 27 days which is a record breaking time. His speech do inspire most of us though some of us have already seen it. Nonetheless it was still an inspiring speech.

I missed my doctor’s appointment twice. I getting fed up with my forgetfulness. I’m getting senile infact. With all the meetings which occurs almost 8 times weekly, I actually forgot about my doctor’s appointment. I suppose my treatment would delayed AGAIN. Oh well my fault. I need to get a filofax to keep track of my schedules. I don’t trust those electronic stuffs like Blackberry and such. They will probably fail on me sooner or later.

Had to rush for meeting the moment we arrived back in the office in the afternoon. Had to get all the drawing plans ready despite the fact that none of us have seen it before. Some big issues cropped up. I scratch my head as usual. I simply think that Urban Planning is a very interesting topic. Besides that’s what we’ve been doing for the past few weeks, more on Urban Planning issues. I kinda like it though more than the usual Authority stuffs. Yuck.

Had to rush back to office, throw all my drawings, grab my bags, head to Esplanade to get Rowena’s gift from Cookie Museum at Esplanade. On the way there was a mini gig performed by an Americunt band Trey Lockerbie ( did I get that right, are they even Americunts?) So anyway stayed for awhile to listen to them. They were alright, something which I would listen to. They sang a song something quite the opposite than the norm. Usually we hear songs about how a person loves somebody but that somebody doesn’t love them back. But the song they sang was about the person who don’t love that person back. Beautiful lyrics. Now can someone tell where I can get their songs? Hmm…

Met Rowena and Rachel for dinner. Had salad supposedly on diet hur hur but end up I ate lots of junk stuffs from Old Chang Kee. Had dessert at Starfucks later on. Tsk…

DPA Blue Print.

The CEO.. hur hur hur


Unglam shot of Genn, Aishah and Moi...


Dr William Tam

DPA staffs...

Trey Lockerbie

Trey Lockerbie

Lost Compass... Where is the fuggin directions man...!!!

The more I think of it, the more I think I’m being silly, maybe I should just let it go…. =(

My new sexy toy...

So finally I got my new 40inch Samsung LCD and Home theatre system not from the IT Show but rather from Harvey Norman for over $2.4k. My bank account seems very low hmm… I hope my old man pays me back with interest so that I can buy my camera lenses and probably a new camera bag. Speaking of which, I haven’t been doing any photo shoots for quite awhile and the only photo shoots I have are mostly work related.

Earlier on I went to recce the exhibition for my LCD and the price is $1799, it’s a good bargain really but the problem is that it doesn’t come with a theatre system. I could get it separately but I thought there would be additional cost here and there. The most irritating part about IT shows is that, sometimes you feel like as if you’ve been cheated or rather have missed the opportunity. Like for example a colleague of mine bought her Maxtor 250gb external hard disk for $199 when she visit the exhibition in the afternoon. At night when Dee and I visit the exhibition, they were selling Maxtor 500gb for just $160. What a fucking bargain right? I almost wanna buy it but I have to remind myself that I’m really broke. Besides I don’t use credit card and I don’t intend to have any in the future either. So sometimes its best that once you’ve purchased something from the exhibition, don’t go ever go back. It’s really gonna be a heart breaking moment when you’ve realised that you could get your items way cheaper if only you wait longer. Anyway I’m going there again on Saturday to get my SD card, I try not to pass by the Samsung booth just in case I the price of the LCD that I wanted have been reduced ridiculously lower than $1.5K or even $1K. Heartbreak.

I met Dee for dinner. Went to Harvey Norman to get my LCD at Millenia Walk. We saw this HUGE 103inch LCD from Panasonic. It’s even bigger than my bed. It’s SO HUGE, Sadako probably don’t have to squeeze herself through the screen like she did in the movie. She can walk through graciously, she could bring her cousins along if she wants. Fucking huge man. I wonder who will buy such a huge LCD. If I were to buy it, I would probably install it outside my bedroom window and gather my neighbours to watch it from the multi-storey carpark opposite.

My new LCD and Home theatre will be delivered during the weekend. My mum is already bickering to my dad and I, how fucking big the LCD is gonna be and she is not happy with it. So I told her that if she is not happy with it, she don’t have to watch it. You know what she said to me? She said, “Well I don’t mind watching it but you have to put in the master bedroom” and she gave me that irritating grin. So now we have 4 televisions including the new one. My mother being the typical boring housewife starts to assign which room the television should go to. I don’t intend to have television in my room. It’s already cluttered with junks, I don’t need anymore. My friends who comes to my house would probably notice that there is 2 televisions in my living room. The other television is supposed to have only Indonesian channels and that television would probably have to go to. YAY no more retardedness in my living room. And I probably have to watch my old DVDs again especially those dark scenes which I can't make out on the stupid old television. Movie marathon would probably won't turn out to a wrestling-match cause there would be no more arguing who killed who which happened in a dark room. Yay...

So anyway this is what I my new LCD and Home theatre would look like. Will get the real picture soon.

Anyway I’m EXCITED LAR!!! Not with Dee (he is totally a different ball game but nonetheless I really do appreciate the time spent and I'm lookin forward for further bonding) but rather I’m excited with my new LCD YAY YAY YAY.. I’m gonna turn up the volume and make sure my drunk neighbour upstairs bang his head on the wall or something… Anyway he has been quiet ever since I threw hot water on him.

HUAT ARR!!!!!!!

I'm suffering from Bitchintitis...

YAY my dad gave me GREEN LIGHT to get a new television and home theatre system!!!!! YAY YAY YAY…. But of cos I got to pay it first,… Fuck…I hope he gives me some commission or something. But its OKAY!!! AS LONG IT’S A NEW FUGGING LCD TELEVISION…. YAY YAYAYAY YAYAYA *does somersault* NO MORE SQUITTING MY EYES, NO MORE FUCKING-TOO-DARK-NIGHT-SCENERY-AND-I-GIVE=UP-WHAT-IS-IT, NO MORE GLARING PICTURES. YAY YAY…. Lol… sorry. Just excited. So anyway I’m going to recce the upcoming IT show. Hopefully there is a good bargain. If not hmm I’ll probably end up at Mustafa Centre…

So I’m back in the office for 2 weeks already and for the past 2 weeks things in the office are going really fast. As most of Singaporeans know, the government has already chosen the design of the new National Stadium in Kallang aka SPORTS HUB. Apparently my company is the project architect and the ‘great’ thing is that my team is handling it. Hur hur hur….

There is a new girl in my team who is supposed to replace me when I’m on leave for the next few months. A fresh grad from Singapore Polytechnic. She is okay. She reminds of Ling. Slappable kind…Hahaha. I didn’t get to know her better though she sits across me cause I’m always running around for meetings. She is known as Nasir’s Shadow. So whenever I go for a meeting, I’m supposed to drag her along. Now the problem is that, I have 3-4 meetings per day and I don’t even have time to look into my drawings/agenda let alone to brief her about the meetings. So whenever she comes along with me, she will look abit disorientated. I feel bad about it cause I do really want her to catch up and gain as much information as possible. But I guess I’ll sit with her one of these days and brief her about the project. Usually I would tag along with my Team Leader for meetings but nowadays I attend alone since she thinks I’ve the capability to do it. The problem is that, when the engineers/consultants sees me, they think I’m an intern because always dress in tshirt and jeans. But who cares as long I deliver my job on time, dressing wouldn’t be a matter. Like as if the engineers have a good sense of fashion Pui!!!

I’m suffering a disease called BITCHINTITIS. It occurs to people who haven’t had the time to bitch or rather the lack of it. Meetings take a lot of my time, 3-4 meetings per days.I don’t have the fugging time to bitch with my team members or visit ZARA. Sometimes there is no agenda and worst is that I’ve to take a note of everything. By the time I want to update my Minutes of Meeting, I would have forgotten or mix up all the information. Worst part is that sometimes my Team Leader, another senior of my mine and myself would attend the meeting. And by the end of the day, all of us would have mixed up the information. The ‘best’ part is that, we didn’t even get to see our drawing plans at all. We’ve no clue sometimes what the fuck they are talking about.

Oh and my Project Architect has a British accent despite the fact he is a Chinese. Cool bugger. Whenever he talks, I would look at his lips cause it doesn’t seem to move. He could be a ventriloquist *Say wot? I’m an English Chink!*

Ok I better sleep early!!! Cause I’ve been sleeping late playing game. Darn…

And don’t ask me about my love life… cause there is none and I’m jaded. Just a crush. It will go away sooner or later. I think…. One step forward - Two steps back.

New Tube...

The frigging television in my living room is gonna explode sooner or later and my dad still haven’t make up his mind what brand to buy and when to buy. All I know he wants a 38-40inch LCD. My family has been using the-pain-in-the-ass-it-can-make-you-blind-and-sometimes-not television in our living for almost 10 glory years. Praise The Lord. For 10 glory years, it has served its purposed, which is to entertain the family. For 10 glory years, this contraption-of-sort has witnessed the activities of the family eg; Me walking around naked in the house, my dad sitting on the rocking chair talking to himself, my mum talking to the fish and plants and what’s not. The good thing about this bloody contraption is that, it kept all of the family’s secrets to itself within the box.

I just wonder, WHAT IF, I could make the television of mine play back all the past events that has happened to the family for the past 10 years. I think it would be amazing. It is better than watching the cable shows I supposed.

So back to my dad. My dad has been wanting to get a new television since last year even before Hari Raya. At times, he would drag me along to recce around our silly little island for new television. But to my dismay, till now my dad hasn’t got the television yet. Previously he said, “We should get a new LCD television before Chinese New Year cause CONFIRM can get discount” and obviously, he didn’t get a new television. If not I wouldn’t be complaining right? Yesterday he told me that I should check the IT SHOW that is next month and perhaps we could get a good deal or something. -_- Arghh if he is not going to get it, I will get it myself!!! And perhaps I could ask my dad to contribute some $$$ to NNCLF (Nasehr’s New Camera Lens Foundation) cause he did said he don’t mind paying for my lens since I got him the F1 Formula tickets. Good deal eh?

HAIYAH!!!! I just want a bloody new television for the living room despite I hardly watch the television. You know what irritates me. Sometimes my friends or my sister’s friends would come over to our place to have a movie marathon of some sort. Whenever we watch horror flicks we have difficulty understanding the storyline especially if it’s a night scene. Everything is just pitch black on the screen except for the sound of moaning, screaming or what’s not on the speaker. And at the end of the movie, we all end up clueless.

I feel like my telling father this, “Just get the fucking LCD television u silly twit!!!” But of cause, I don’t have the balls to do it.

My mum activates her Gaydar....

Well thanks for the advise regarding about my crush. Well as I said, it’s just a crush, the feeling would fade away I supposed and well there is no point pursuing it unless the other party show a keen interest.

Some people really make me wonder? Or should I say, I make them wonder? They keep on telling me “Eh Nasir just confess to Dee lah!! I bet she likes you too!!!” or “Eh I’m sure Dee is a hot girl that suddenly you’re no longer jaded”. Now there is a slight technical problem to both statements somehow. Well the problem is not about me confessing to Dee or about me being jaded, the problem is that Dee is a He not a She. You get the drift? I like girls but I don’t like tits or pussies. No, wait? I do like tits but not sexually attracted to it. I like hot-dogs, bananas, anything that represents a stick preferably longer than 6inch of average thickness. Well if you don’t get the point its ok. You are free to ponder. For those who already know that’s good but please stop bitching and pushing me to confess. For those girls who is in a state of paranoia after reading this entry, let me give you an advise, Just breathe and face the fact that some guys prefer sticks than pussies.

So anyway lets move on….

My mother is being a redneck again. I was telling my mum about my plans for her birthday which is still a long way to go in November, I told her about my elaborate plans, the dinner and such. After wasting my effort of explaining to her about my plans, she finally said ‘You know what I want for my birthday? I just want a non-stick pan. I don’t understand why you would never buy me a me a non-stick pan. Every year I ask for it but instead you give me something else’. What the hell? She wants a bloody non-stick pan for her birthday? Tsk tsk tsk… a non-stick pan. Arh well fine, I would probably get her not one but two non-stick pans for her birthday. Maybe that would stop her fetish over non-stick pans. I don’t get it, why does she need a another non-stick pans when we already have two.

My sister told me that my mum’s Gaydar seems to be operationally ready (Gaydar is an intuitive ability to determine whether the person is gay or straight) Or rather it seems that her brain has activate the Gaydar mode. You see my sister and I have a couple of gay friends and obviously my sister has more since she is working as a cabin crew. And most of these cabin crew boys are not straight guys though from appearance they look very manly. So anyway there were few of them who came to my place last weekend for some social gathering. It wasn’t an orgy party and even if it was, I won’t be interested. I already know most of my sister’s colleagues and I know their sexual orientation. My mum though she may look ignorant, she somehow can detect the sexual orientation of my sister’s colleague. She casually tell me in the kitchen ‘Eh I think arr your sister’s friend so and so is gay lar… that young boy sitting at the dining table also same. Arr that one also. (while pointing to this Chinese guy reading my Men’s Health) Haiyah so obvious like as if I don’t know. I think they have sex all the time right, don’t you think so? Later don’t know get what disease” And she continue to prepare the drinks like as if that conversation didn’t just happened. I just grin the entire session. I mean what can I do? Haha… Then just as she was about to leave the kitchen she said, “You know what, I notice you have many male friends who visit you in the hospital but how come arr the guys all look so well groomed. They also like your sister friend is it?” At this point I really don’t know what to say. I mean it’s true that some of my male friends are indeed gay but not all, they are just know how to dress up or a metrosexual like my brother unless of cause my brother is gay himself which is impossible. So I replied, “Well it’s because we all are working professionals and we have to look good in front of our clients” and my mum simply said “Ouh ok. But you better don’t do such sinful things with these guys. If these guys approach you, just say you are not interested”. And now she is teaching me whom I should and shouldn’t socialise with. I hope her Gaydar doesn't detect mine cause I'm in a stealth mode. That’s my mother for you. Praise the Lord. Amen

My crush - Dxxxxx Hx

I’ve a crush on Dxxxxx Hx or rather lets name this person Dee. Hur hur hur… Well to tell you the truth I can’t tell the difference between crush or infatuation. Maybe it's the same. I’m supposed to be jaded remember? I’m supposed to have an emotion equivalent to a monk.

It happened quite recently despite the fact that I’ve known Dee for quite sometime. It’s odd. I’m not sure if it’s a shear desperation or is it indeed I’m smitten by Dee. But I’ve this odd feeling for the past few days. I kept on smiling to myself whenever I gave a thought about Dee. I enjoy every conversation I had with Dee. I do really wish I could know more about Dee but I do not want to appear as irritating. I’ve to know my limits. I’m sure Dee has better things to do then answering my silly questions.

Few days back we were discussing about having commitments to our partners and such. And I do realise that both of us have the same problem. Commitment is a very sensitive issue in a relationship. As for me, I don’t mind being committed to my partner but at times I do need my own space. In return I would give my partner their own space for them to sort their own things out. And the more I asked bout Dee’s views the more I feel that we do have a similarity over certain issues. It gets pretty interesting but alas our conversation happened in the wee hours and I was getting sleepy and hungry. I wish the conversation had last longer but like I said I’ve to limit myself. One step at a time.

I’ve been on many dates and most of them end up being just friends, it never go beyond friendship. There were few potential ones but whenever they pop the question, I would just roll my eyes and state that I’m not interested or rather not ready with any relationship whatsoever. Simply because it’s too soon for them to actually pop the question. For me I prefer to be friends and then slowly we would progress from there. It probably take months but patience is a virtue as they say. If they can’t wait they are always free to go.

But as I give more thought about my current situation the more I should give Dee up. Of cause we could maintain the friendship somehow but of cause as a human, I desire more than that. I’ve always wanted to begin a relationship with someone but I know I could never have the opportunity as I would shut them off from my life. Well I do have my reasons. The obvious one being my health. As most of you know, having cancer is not a fun a thing and I already had a relapse twice and I didn’t even asked for it to happen to me. But if it has to happen it just happen right? I’ve cried enough and all I could right now is just smile. It’s a habit of mine to compensate what I lack of.

Do I have to tell all of these problems of mine to Dee? Do I have to tell Dee that I’m interested to start on a friendship/relationship despite all these problems of mine? Perhaps not now. Or perhaps never. I do not want to freak Dee out with my problems and my thoughts. I guess it’s not fair for someone like Dee to know my problems. Well as a young adult I’m sure everyone wants to enjoy as much in life, have fun with friends and free from problems. So to me its fair that I should handle my problems alone and let my friends have their own fun and lead their own personal life. I try my best not to burden people with my problems. As long I can manage, I would do it myself.

If I think twice about Dee, I realised Dee is beyond my reach. I’m sure Dee has someone else in mind. In fact I do believe that Dee deserves someone better. I’m not saying that I’m giving Dee up but it’s just that if Dee prefers someone else I can’t stop it. It’s inevitable.

I've always wanted to chat up with Dee as frequent as possible to get to know Dee better. But there is nothing much to talk about. I don't think silly questions is approriate either. But I do wish Dee did the initiation to our conversation. At least I know Dee is putting an effort and also get to know what are Dee'e expectations. Perhaps I'm just asking for too much.

You know what I really wanna do with Dee if possible? I would want to sit/cuddle next to Dee on the beach under a tree doing nothing. Just feel the breeze and stare at the sea saying not a single word. In silence we just know that both of us love each other. But then again that’s all just a fantasy, a dream.

Sigh I wish I got the guts to say it all out. But I can’t. I mean how could I say it all out when there is nothing happening between the two of us. *bangs wall*

I do wonder what Dee thinks of me? Arrh well I shouldn't ask. It could be something unpleasant.

Its an oxymoron feeling. I wish its just an infatuation/crush which would fade away but at the same time I wish there is something goin on between us.