Interview with a 6 year old...

 Mom:  What's on your heart?
Vivian: I think about Jaden in my heart, that he is sleeping in the snow.
M: Hes not sleeping in the snow, just really really cold.  What happened in your day today?
V: Boston was babysitting me and we maked a fort and me and Truman played Barbies.  This morning I snuggled with grandpa on the couch.
M: What makes you cry or makes you sad?
V: When Truman pinches me really hard or when Boston bes mean to me.
M: What do you dream about?
V: When all of us are at DisneyWorld and then we go and swim at the ocean by it.
M: What would you do if you could do anything in the world?
V: GO do Disneyland and play there.
M: What else?!
V: Go do the cousins!
M:  What kinds of things make you feel loved?
V: I like it when you snuggle with me. I like when you give me hugs and kisses.
M: I love that too!! What is your favorite kind of food?
V: Salad.
M; What kind?
V; Ceaser salad
M: What other foods?
V:  Mac and Roni and Cheese!
M: What do you need from me?
V: I need to color with you and watch a movie with you.

M: What makes you happy?
V: When I play with the cousins and when I play with you and Boston and pearce and dad and Truman and Kamryn and Jaden,  and when I go on bike rides with dad and Pearcen, I'm happy when we go to the movies.
M: What did you like about the last movie we watched?
V: When Mary Poppins put them in the bath and they, like, and I saw the dolphins.
M: Which kind of music makes you want to sing?
V: Let it Go and Christmas music!
M: What are the things that make you angry?
V: When you tell me that I have to go outside and feed the chickens, when my room is dirty and you say I have to clean it and when my brothers tease me.
M: What kinds of things do you like to talk about?
V: UNICORNS!  Narwhals, movies and princesses.
M:  What makes you afraid?
V: Dark, and that's all.
M:  WHat's your favorite memory?
V: Going on a trip.
M: Which one?
V:  Going to the cousins and going on the trip to the beach with the baby cheetah and holding the baby tiger. I liked seeing those, like, what are they called? they was on the little thing. I can't remember it.
M: What makes you laugh?
V:   When Pearcen does jokes to me, when Truman farts,  when mom says "don't smile vivvy"
M: What re the 3 most important things to you?
V: Family. Dogs.  Jesus.
M: Those are awesome things Vivian. I love you.
V: I love you
M: Last question...Do you know how much I love you?
V: 2 thousand, 10 thousand 10 hundred 10 hundred plus 10 hundred 10 thousand!!!!!!
M: Nailed it!

Hardest December Ever

This December was a less than exciting one.  I spent most days wanting them to go by faster, but they didn't.  It's been DECEMBER FOR SO LONG!  I was so glad to wake up this morning to January!  That means only 21 more days until I get to hug Jaden and have a new beginning for our relationship!  He seems to be doing great...atually enjoying it out there.   The trail walkers all say he's the most positive kid out there, and he sticks pretty close to them to avoid the bad talk from the other young walkers.  His letters have been great. He still struggles to show emotion and feelings, but he IS a teenage boy.  But both him and each member of our family has been orking on changes in our heart towards each other.  We've been listening to the anatomy of peace, and working in the family "walk of WE" workbooks each morning and we've already noticed so many great changes in each of us.  Jaden's letters are something I"ll treasure forever.  He's such an amazing kid and I hope this adventure teaches him that so that he can't deny his potential or our love for him.  I really hope we can gain a firm trust in each other and create a transparent relationship...with each member of our family.  I miss him like CRAZY...like I think about him night and day and pray so many times a day for him (especially in these 2 freezing cold days), but I know that the Lord has made this possible for the benefit of our famly's peace and love.  I hope this is something Jaden will always think of as an opportunity and gift, because thats where our hearts were when we chose for him to go.  

A hole

This Christmas season I feel a hole.  WE don't have our Jaden with us for 8 weeks and we are all feeling empty.  He does like to get everyone worked up, but he also likes to make everyone laugh. He means so much as the oldest sibling in our family.  I hope and pray that our family can make the changes we need to to be happy and peaceful and to want to all be together.

 This squirt barely fits in our kitchen sink.  He likes to take baths, so I figured I'd throw him in the sink every once in a. while to save water.  He wants a bath at least once a day...and sometimes he gets one when he doesn't even ask for one during this post potty training time of his life.

 About a month ago we went up to the ski resort to get passes for the year and we decided to go check out the quakein aspens.  They were beautiful!

Lots of happiness

Lately, noting super exciting has happened, except for lots I guess.   Pearcen had a birthday, which was so much fun, but I'll blog about that separately.  Kamryn has been killing it as volleyball manager and doing dance and piano. I LOVE hearing her play piano everyday.  She's so amazing.  Jaden has been working at the pawn shop, hanging out with friends and of course hanging out with Glory. I love this girl, and I love who Jaden is when he's with her.  She's amazing!

 And this guy, this guys has decided to become a Menace...Dennis some would call him.  He cut his hair and while I was searching for the scissors, he dumped an entire Costco sized bag of veggie straws all over the kitchen.   He also loves to play in make up, ride Otis while yelling "neeeeiiigh!", sneak candy, dump toys all over, hit, throw things and fall asleep at all the wrong times.  But luckily, he's THEE most adorable thing ever!

 And Little Miss Crafts-a-lot is constantly creating. I love her.  She loves baking, crafting, coloring, drawing, reading and gymnastics.  That pretty much describes her day everyday.

Girls Night In!

 Friday night Jase took the younger 3 boys camping and Jaden and Kamryn went to the football game, so Vivian and I decided to have a girls night in.  We had already made 100 cinnamon rolls that day for a church event. So we cleaned up from that.....

 Lit a candle, whipped out a box of M&M's and watched "nailed it" on Netflix, which is Viv's favorite.

 Then she decided that we need to put on face masks....but that feeling left her after having them on for about a minute and they started to tighten.  She said they're too itchy!!  So we took them off.

 Then she wanted to take daddy's spot in my bed so we laid down and started the greatest showman and she was out after the first 10 minutes....just like daddy.

Lately I've been hugging my kids A LOT.  I can't believe we're hitting the stage where they start leaving already.  They're my favorite and I want them to stay with me forever!!!! I'm just going to keep praying that most of them marry locals that want to live here!!!!

Service

I am HORRIBLE at figuring out ways to serve others that don't involve making meals or goodies for them.  And I AM so grateful for the blessing of loving cooking and baking because I'm realizing not all or many moms like it like I do, but I want to do more, so I'm always grateful to hear of other people's acts of service that I can try and do.  A friend posted this today on FB and when I read it, it reminded me of how badly I wanted someone to help me out after my babies.  My mom always came for a day or two...or she got trapped with me for. a week and a half after I had Boston because he came 8 days late, but it's those next few months of feeling trapped and gross and tired and scared and overwhelmed in every possible way:

PSA: If you live near someone who has a baby under 5 months old, assume they need help. Because I had pretty bad postpartum depression after Cohen and then a little bit with each of the others, I worry/suspect that lots of others have it. Instead of telling the new mom, “Let me know if you need anything”, here are things you can offer to do: 

Mom needs physical support in the form of cooking, cleaning, babysitting, grocery shopping, etc. 

She needs emotional support in the form of someone to sit and listen, give a hug, encouraging words, and someone to affirm that what she’s experiencing is "normal". We all deal with it to varying degrees.

Another thing I wish I'd known sooner is that she may crave sweets and carbs but those will make her feel worse. She needs protein each time she nurses or bottle feeds so that she gets some protein every few hours. Protein will stabilize her blood sugar and moods. (handful of nuts, hard boiled egg, beef jerky, greek yogurt, deli meat)

She needs lots of water. 

She needs alone time. Three times a week is not too much! She needs 2 hours alone (or close to it) to feel human. 

There you go. Reach out, offer, insist if you must. Help a momma out ❤️

“I’d like to take your baby for a few hours on Tuesday. What’s a good time. I know I don’t have to, I want to. No, no one at my house is sick.” 😊😜

Of course I know she'd still like meals, so I'll never stop taking meals to pregnant moms and new moms, but to take her other kids is HUGE at that stage.  HUGE!  I'm grateful for the awareness that this post brought to me.

I also have another friend that gets other moms out for walks. And two other friends that offer FREE aerobic classes twice a week for years and years and years!!!!  Right now in life, I need to do simple acts of service, because yes, I'm feeling overwhelmed with my own life and even making an extra mean (or 2 or 3) on my service meal nights sometimes wears me out.   No one warned me that having teenagers and toddlers at the same time would be thee most insane part of this journey, but alas, it is.   A reckless teenager who I believe, truly feels that he is invincible, and a toddler that loves to go around the house making messes faster than I can clean them.  A-N-X-I-E-T-Y!!!!!!

Orren

Our sweet neighbor Orren passed away last week.  He had a heart attack.  He's been pretty sad since his wife died in August but Vivian has always been able to make him smile.  She'd go over there about once. a week with a plate of homemade cookies and he'd trade her for Oreos that he always had in his cookie jar.  He always let us know how much he loved having the kids come say hi.   he even told his parents and siblings because at his funeral they all made sure to come and meet the Vivian that always made Orren's day.  In fact, they told her that Orren wanted her to have his cookie jar...and they filled it with Oreo's.  She hugged his brother and thanked him and then let us know that when she prays to Heavenly Father, she says hi to Orren too.  We'll miss Orren.  He was such a fun, kind neighbor which was a breath of fresh air after our Taylor neighbor that did all he could to try and make our life miserable.

Also, Boston, of course is busy making banana bread and selling it this summer already.  Our house smells SO great every time he does it and he's gotten so good at making them all by himself and cleaning up 90% of his mess.