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n. a. f. k.
me.

Photobucket male
agnostic
tone deaf
alto phobic
introvert

&hopes/desires.

World Peace
Civil War
Blackest Night


hearts~talking.



[esc]apes.

My Sister
Heaven

re:collections

June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
August 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
October 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
May 2010
June 2010
July 2010
August 2010
December 2010
January 2011
February 2011
March 2011
April 2011
May 2011
June 2012
August 2012

credits.

Layout: Kary-yan/Missyan.
Hosts: x o x

Tuesday, August 07, 2012

The Stranger - Albert Camus


overall it was quite a fast read but still good nonetheless. i really didnt like the starting at first
as it was very choppy. the whole first few chap was the narrator telling thing which he did.
it was very dull and unbearable but on hindsight, it made perfect sense. the book was from
a first person perspective and by continuing reading it, the reader will start to understand that is
just how the protagonist is.

 *alert* *spoilers ahead*

what i really like about the book is that i could sort of relate with him. then again, all books which i
like are the ones i could relate with. the book's main plot or should i say conflict is the main char
being sentenced to death for committing murder. what intrigues me and maddens me at the same time
 was that the main crux of the persecutor's argument against him was that he is emotionless, apathetic
and soulless as he did not show any emotions at his mom's funeral. so this is what i'll be talking
about. the book covers many more interesting talking point such as the meaning of death, the futility
 of life but for more of that, read the book yourself. it'll probably only take about 1-3 hours.

as i was saying, he is really guilty of committing said murder but whether it was intentional or not is
a different story. what the main prosecutor is trying to do is paint him as a cold blooded murderer
and it was premeditated. His main argument as said earlier was because through out the whole
funeral, the char did not cry once or show any sign of sadness at his mother's funeral. he didnt even
 remeber his mom's age and smoked while drinking coffee whilst looking at his mom's corpse.
it was even brought up that he courted and entered into a reationship the very next day.

his lack of emotions wasnt emphasised in the beginning at all. neither did i find anything wrong
with it or even took notice as this is exactly how i behaved in a wedding, albeit not my own birth
 mother's. that is also why i did not understand why the writer would waste at least one whole chapter
 on this and yet choose miss out this opportunity to describe this 'sad' event dramatically. it was a
 chance to show a char's humanity and yet he didnt do it. only later did i find out why. it was simply
 because he main char had none. at least not society's accepted version of it.

needless to say since in the end, he was convicted guilty and put to death.

this was scary for me as even though the jury in this book was merely fictional, i know for a fact
that many people who feels this way. that just because one does not show emotion like everyone
else, they're thought to be emotionless. why is that so?

i remember it quite well. it was maybe five or seven years ago. my grandfather had passed away.
as muslim tradition dictates, the body is to be washed by family members and placed in the middle
of the room while we recite some verses from the quran. at the end, one by one, family members
will take this chance to say their final farewell to him. everyone kissed him, either on the forehead
or cheeks. everyone but me. when it was  my turn, did i not only refused to kiss him, i didnt even
sat beside him and cried like everyone else did. my whole family stared at me. showing their
 disaprrovement but decided not to say anything for 'respect' for the occasion.

only once it was all over did i get an earful from my parents. not only that, even my uncles and
 aunties called me disrespectful and all of them accused me of not loving him. i somehow found
this ammusing. for all their talk about their love and sadness for his demise, not one of them actt
 showed any to him while he was still alive. most of my cousins only visited him during Hari Raya
 Haji and Korban, thats like twice a year and even during those 2 visits per year they made, not once
 did they even talked to him affectionately nor showed any sign of care for him. it made little
 difference to them whether he was even there or not.

and these are the people who apparently cared about him more than me as they were shedding tears
while i was not. when it was me alone who accompanied him only a year back to visit his old
relatives in penang for a month. it was as if he knew his time was up and wanted to visit them.
no one, not even his son and daugthers was willing to take some time off to accompany him there.
it was just me and him. an old man an a young boy, travelling by bus by ourselves over a few
 thousand km. yet this same young boy who spent his whole school holiday to be with his grandfather
 was called heartless. the same boy who spent more time with him then any other cousins put together
 is the ungrateful one.

and this is why the book spoke so much to me. its because if the same string of events which
happened to him were to happen to me, i would be seen as guilty. at least more guilty than others.
all because i do not feel the same sadness when one dies.

death just means differently to me than others. but that's a story for another post.
 


my thoughts at 7:15 PM