Distant Memories.

Another week gone, another week wasted not studying.
i did manage to do my maths tutotials though.
i guess thats an improvement.

had a frenly hoki match with jj last wed.
dun realli wanna talk about that.
drew 0-0.

after that went to watch the girl's match aat nie.
ther's this one imba jc1 girl, speechless.
better than the rest of the jc2 team put together lol.
went back quite late so went to bed straight.

had phy spa on thurs.
shud be can do ar.
just more worried about chem spa which is this wed!!
i havent even memorise all the dumb distingguishing tests.
its tests like this that makes me hate sg's education system...

fri, went to queensway with vineeth, daniel n kang kang. lols.
daniel wanted 2 buy turf shoes.
then because of kang kang, we were almost late for training sia.
but shirt lar, buy food lar, go toilet lar.
missed 961 because of him.
lucky took some other routes.

but training was sian, did fitness.
after that went to SRC.
damn fun.
just played match for 2 hours.
shiok.

today did our cip as students helpers today at the padang.
as ball pickers to be more exact.
met mr denjer there lol.
he actt remembered me sia.
hehe.

was ok ar but damn pisising sometimes looking at the other groups.
just because they cant manage thier time, we must help them.
reminded me a lot of the discussion we had during gp.
they're just like the poor who do not wish to take the responsibilty of the values
the non-poor adhere too but expect to get the advantages of following the values.

to be fair, they did do work, same amount with us but they just had no planning what so ever.
8 ppl were in a group so my group had 4 ppl doing the work at the a time while the 4 take a rest,
but they, being the geniuses that they are, made all 8 work at the same time.

sure, its up 2 them how they want to work but then when they needed to take break..
what they do?
ask ppl from my group help...
go figure.
so all 8 of my group members like had to ball-pick for 6 games straight...
thats like close to 2 hours...
u try standing in the freaking hot sun at noon picking balls for that long...
after that we had to cont our own rotation somemore...

but we got paid 15 bucks so i guess it was ok.
cant complain too much.
lunch and tea was even provided lol.
tmr still got the event but heng i not going.
gna study.
sure hope so.

and just random facts, my mom's gonna rent out my room.
my sis's working night shift so i'll be sleeping in her room from now on.
and i'll most probably need to go and attend religious class every sat starting nx week.
tf rite...
i know....

as heartless as i may be, i just cant say no to my mom...
well, gonna go sleep now.
good night.

my thoughts at 11:17 PM

If All Else Fails.

another weekly update.
kinda forgot what i did though in school for the past week.
all i know it wasnt studying.
realli wanted to but just couldnt.
either too tired or just no mood.
pathetic reasons but ohh well.

lets try my best to start studying nx week, starting tmr.
jiayou!

well, had my napha test just now.
should be getting gold lol.
hehe.
finally lei. so long nvr get gold.
ever since need do the stupidpull up lor.
i even surprised myself just now.
9 sia!
personel best.
couldnt even get past 5 for the past 3 years lol.

had mixed feeling bout my 2.4.
was damn sad at first cause i was the second last in my group.
then when i heard the timing, wasnt so sad.
10.59.
b so nt that bad lar.
my group just imba, 2 ppl got like 8 min plus
the rest also around there, 9 min something2.
dunnu how 2 get so fit also.

but the funny thing is some of them also nvr get gold.
=p
cant pass the other stations. boo!

after that went mac for a while then lepak at anirud haouse.
once again tried playing the guitar but just cant seem to.
i just got no music sense i guess.
my left hand keep pressing the other strings then...
haish.. its just damn hard for mi....
really wanna learn though, maybe older, just not now i guess.

then went to penin cause he wanted 2 buy hoki stick.
but i still dun understand why he needs one in the first place.
he keeps blaming his stick for the way he p;ays but to mi thats just bull.
just my own opinion though.

took 190 there.
played madden all the way.
damn nice.
makes me feel like taking up american football.
that and after reading eyesheild lol.
looks damn fun sia.
kinda dangerous but most sports are.

that reminds me, got my totth chipped during last training.
didnt think it was that serious but today, drink water, eat also pain like hell.
fianlly took a look at it using 2 mirrors n i can see like veins or something at the back of it!
the fuck!
fucking scared right now.

nt scared of the pain or cannot smile animore but scared its gonna cost a lot.
i dun mind having a crack tooth cause it wasnt like my teeths were nice to begin with lol.
just dun want unnessecary spending...
like all my other injuries, nt once have i went to the hospital or doctor.
it all managed to heal by itself.
(except that one time when my finger was swollen even after a whole month)

was even reluctant to go see the doc n it turns one it was a waste of $...
go physio just dip in somehitn then kena charge like 20 bucks. rip off.
i even stopped going there in my own.
just didnt went for the appointment n nows its completely healed.

doubt its gonna work this time though so told my mom.
gonna go poly nx monday.
no need go school.
i guess thats good.

just trying nt to think about it too much.
hope its nth serious.

hmmm.
finally got my prepaid topped up.
but kinda feel like a waste of money.
its not like i got anyone to msg aniways.
most to most like less then 10 msg per day.
n i'll like get 10 free msg after sending 5.

but just kinda feel bad for nt being able to reply all my frens.
everytime afiq msg me about break then i nvr reply, feel like i pangsei them sia.
then they last time go escape, today go sentosa.
i nvr reply them also.
really wanted 2 go but just no money.
haish...

they n me live in diff world.
nt just them but in jc, i think most of my frens are more or less well-off.
they live in such a carefree world.

on 2nd thought, i guess its not fair to say that.
they do have worries.
like what to wear?
what game to put in thier psps?
what songs to put in thier ipod, itouch or iphone?
where to go n eat after school?
what clothes to buy?
will it match with th shirt i alr have at home?
where to go next weekend?

i kinda envy them but then like i've said before,
i'm grateful n wouldnt change my life for anything.
our past is what makes the person we are today.

ohh ya, on a lighter note,
met din n his band at penin.
they also couldnt stop making fun of my tappered pants lol.
cant blame them.

they told mi gremio is kinda alive.
really wanna go but no boot.
doing anything is better than staying at home n facing my mom.

just reread this post.
even for mi this is like long lol.
so gonna end here.
thnks for reading.
just fyi, this post took like one hour to write.
XD

my thoughts at 10:02 PM

Be My Escape.

my bdae was this wed.
i 'm fianlly 18 but dun really see the big fuss in it.
not like i'm gonna buy cigg or alcoholic drinks anytime soon.
the onli think that i can finally do that actt interests mi is getting a driver's licence.
but even that i cant even do.
no money.
sian.

anywyas thanks for my frens hu bought me the earpiece.
XD
realli love it.
thanks for wl n the gang for the bdae cake.
my class also bought mi one but it was just a formality i guess.
no1 realli cares but heck, thnks anyways.
thanks too for those hu msged mi n wrote on my wall on facebook.
i kinda check it onli yest so paisei to reply
so if by any chance ure reading this, thanks again.
=)

another big day i guess was yest as it was valentine's day.
i know i'll end up looking like a loser telling u wat i did but hu cares.
i was at home the whole day using the com.
yup, the WHOLE day.
from 9am when i woke up all the way till 10pm.
there, i said it.
kinda feel releived though now that its out of my chest.
but i've nvr spent valentine with a girl so why start now lol.

read manga in the morn then watch naruto in the evening n one outs at night.
wat can i say.
once a geek, always a geek lol.
one outs is like damn nice.
i'd recommend it to all u out there hu's bored at home with nth to do.
its a baseball anime but not much skill. just psycological thingys.
kinda like hiruma from eyeshield.
damn cool the way he manipulates ppl.

today went to play hoki at ngee an again.
kinda fun but my leg is killing me.
sprained it on fri n now it looks like ankle is pregnant lol.
realli hope it recovers soon.
i wanna be able to run n play hoki again so badly!
nt to mention nx weekend is my NAPHA...

speaking of hoki, just found out mizrahi, an ex pri school fren of mine
is also playing hoki lol.
kinda supriring cause he isnt...
woops...
wasnt the sporty type.

he was a big guy n got some skin problem so when he told mi, i was damn surpsired.
really cant wait to see him since aj n pj are in the same group.
the last time i saw him was when i was sec 2, n we went to mps during teahcer's day.
even then he alr lost so much weight, confirm now slim down more also.
guess just have to wait n see.

i guess that's it for today.
bye blog.

my thoughts at 10:47 PM

Poetically Pathetic

had the hoki trials for the j1 last fri.
i still dun understand the need for a trial though.
like onli 26 or something ppl come.
why cant just let them all in???

later pick the good2 ones, the ones supposedly got potential
but they'll nvr come for training for wat sia.
just take for example this year, so little keep coming for training then
hiap keep complaining that attendence like shit.
if it was me, i'll just let eveybody in and slowly see who nvr come for training and just kick them out.
more fair right....

anyways, after the trial mi n some other hoki members went to ccab
to go and train with SRC.
train with onli.
not join lol.
onli got to play match with them for like 30 mins, or was it lesser than that,
but it was still fun.
the coach was nice, gave us cones n balls to play amonsgt ourselves.
so spend the remaining time there playing a small game at the sidelines.

reach home at bout 12 lol.
too tired so went straight to bed.

sat went CNY with wl n his clique.
it was relatively the same as last year i guess.
nth out of the extra ordinary to mention lei.
hmmm...

at yi shin house i guesss got something worth mentioning.
his room was like...
*mouth wide open*
SPEECHLESS.

got aircon i alr happy but....
he has his own a damn wide flat screen tv.
complete with WII.

his computer has TWO monitors!
TWO!!!!!!!!
the fuck sia.
it was damn cool.
they keyboard n mause, razer, like duh.
and the cream of the crop, a......
a.....
a.....
a $500 dollar chair!!!!!
$500 lei.
a chair that is worth FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS.
not 1 not 2 but 500!!!!!!!!

haish...
anyways lucky he isnt a stuck up rich brat.

went home bout 12 plus again so went staright to bed again.

so today had to wake up early cause got hoki.
i tot a lot of the j2 going but it turns oout onli like 4 were going including mi.
sian.
well too bad,
thier loss.

it was damn fun.
we played with the pj alumni.
like got 20 plus ppl lol.
the oldest was like from the 03/04 batch so that's like 22? 23 years old?

they thinking of forming a team to join the 3rd divison league.
but the season is like in august.
right in the middle of the A lvl sia.
sian.
but still can go play with them so its ok.
something is better than nothing i guess.
hopefully nx week can play with them again.

gonna catch up on my manga now so bye2.

my thoughts at 10:59 PM

went pai nian at wai lum house today.
(dunnu whether that's the correct way of saying it though)
wanted to saty there for a while onli cause later wanted to go lib to do my hw but
as usual, things dont always go as u want it to.
even brought my sweater in my bag lei cause scared cold later.
but in the end, i ended up staying at his house from around 2 till 9 lol.

onli got dab ther when first arrive.
watched, tv, played wl's psp n taiti while waiting for the rest.
lianli n nick where the nx to arrive.
nth to do, so just cont watching tv n taiti.
then suddenly wl relative came.
song!
got like 2 extra red packets lol.
hehe.

then after sian of playing cards, came the main course.
mahjong!
long time nvvr play sia.
last time was last year cny i guess.
won the first 4 conscutive games lei.
shiok!
not bad hor.
then after that nvr win at all lol.
beginner's luck i guess

learn so many new stuff.
instead of just pong, now i know kang!, hu! n zhe muo!
(once again dunnu how 2 speel those but hu cares)

then went to wl aunt house which was directly aboce his house.
the aunt was whom i was working for after my o btw.
so got another red packet.
XD

then got this one mei mei keep making fun of mi lol.
call mi monster somemore.
maybe first time see malay boy lol.
but it was fun. at least she spoke eng.

then went back down to wl house.
this time alvin just reach.
play mahjong again.
finally at 9 went to cwp to eat.

told u, if i got money then eat, sure not hungry one.
dunnu why....

otw home, went to the bus stop opp 888.
so nostalgic lar.
i think i got say this before but feels like the times b4 my o's sia.
everytimme after night study sure go there, talk2 one b4 going home.
haish....

how time flies...
this year i'm taking my a alr.
n honestly, frens made in jc just arent just the same from sec sckool.
i guess cause its just been a year but its just diff.
ther's still like a year left but i dun think i'll miss anything much one i graduate from pj.

speaking of which, tmr is the day the new j1 intake arrives.
know like 3 ppl who are coming 2 pj.
dun realli know why either.
somemmore 2 of them are...
haish...

and just a side note, the thing that i was waiting for before the CNY weekend,
doont look like its going to happen.
well, i guess its lucky i didnt get my hopes up that much.
anyway, good night then all.
adios.

my thoughts at 10:56 PM

When Your Heart Stops Beating.

had a frenly match against bukit view sec n ij yest.
half a match for each skool.
both 'match' draw nil-nil.
sian.
now i no hope for the a div alr.

its the same as last year...
before the match, everyone cocky like fuck.
haiyar, sure win lar, can trash one. this lar. that lar.
mcm paham.
sumer step mana bagus jer.
bila game datang, satu2 maen cam tahi.
belagak jer nombor satu.

after the match also, all talk also like understand onli.
scold other ppl, say why nvr pass lar, why nvr do this lar.
the fuck.
no1 took a blame for anything n said sori.
somehow it was always the other persons fault.
typical.

then today, i go online, see all thier pm emo2 one.

i dun care if ure lousy or wat.
as long u try ure best is fine.
and pls... pls... pls...
just stop bragging.

and can u just admit ure mistake.
so hard meh.
coach tell u, you did something wrong, just nod ure head or something.
next time just try not 2 do it.
dun "but he... i try but... but... but... "
then next time, still do same thing.

just hope we can do better for the next match.

today, basically just stayed at home all day.
read crossover.
damn inspring i guess but those type of things
will nvr happen in real life.
but a guy can always hope cant he.

then at night, got these 2 'uztaz' come to my house
to 'cleanse' my house from all the 'evil spirits'.
he came, talk2, then sprayed some 'holy water'(i guess) all over the house.
they also said that the 'spirits' were somewhere in my sis room and that's why
she sometimes couldnt sleep at night.
ask her to keep the soft toys in a box or plastic bag cause they like hanging around such stuff.

then my mother was complaining that she also sometimes feels uneasy lar,
that she sometimes wants to pray but cant wake up, but other place can,
her face soetimes feels hot lar....
soooooooooooooooooooooooo,
the 'uztaz' did some sort of 'exorcism' on my mother
to remove the alleged 'spirit' which was in her.

notice all those apostrophe?
just for u hu dunnu, i dun really beleive in any of those things.

went they about to levae, i was also asked to give them, like red packet
to show my or better yet, 'our', gradtitude.

if ure a believer in such things, good for u and i'm not in any way,
mocking u or ure belief.
this is just wat i think.
BULLSHIT.

why must there be a super natural 'influence' just because
somebody does something that u dun expect them to do.
to me the belief in such a thing is just a way for them to escape the fact that ppl
are not always nice n do wat u expect them to do.
get out of that shell.
there are ppl who are actt capable of many evil n despicable things.
some even enjoy doing these things...

my mom alr ask my dad to go see the 'uztaz' before n he alr 'exorcist' him
from the 'spirit' that was in him.
still nth changed.
she alr throw away all the potted plants cause a woman use 'black magic' to make
my 'dad' did wat he did.
still nth changed.
she keeps praying for so many times, like twice more that what ure suppose to do
and also for twice the duration.
and still nth changed.
it's still the same.
he's still not here.
n he wont be no matter wat u do or how much u want it to happen.

ok, some of u may say that all of this is just a test from 'god' cause as a person
once told mi, 'He' only give us suffering cause he know we can handle it and its for
our benefit.
say that is true, then why the fuck do u have to pray for things to change.
why are u trying so hard for ways to make him to come back.
just let it be.

just fyi, she put 50 bucks in that packet.
n my 'dad' onli gave us 600 for this month.
that 50 would have lasted mi for 2 whole damn weeks...
it could have been used to buy so many groceries.
but nooooooooo.
nvm. just use to for the 'cleansing'.
its for the greater good.

well fuck u.

one of the 'uztaz' during the idle chatter even said to mi that his xbox 360 was broken n that he was now intending to buy a ps3 cause its much better.
xbox 360!?!??!?! ps3?!?!??!

scam anyone???
u be the judge.

my thoughts at 12:30 AM