photography

PHOTO

my biggest fear in life is i will fail
every minute i feel as if i'm worthless
around my friends or even when i go to a family meeting
i'll look at the people around me and just think of how incompetant i am

the other day during production i had to stand at the shopping centre
to tell people not to look straight ahead because there's filming going on
i'm doing a bad job at it because i really don't know how to stop them
i got scolded by the sound guy. so i try even harder to tell people you know
in that moment of desperation i looked at the woman across me
she's a cleaner and she looked young but haggard


i wonder that this i'm looking at the reflection of what i'm going to become
a cleaner living a non pressure life
that thought really came to my head that maybe i'll just settle to be a cleaner
at least i don't have to risk failing doing what i love because that will be ten times worst
than carrying the garbage and sweeping the floors


worthless worthless
you'll be my only friend right?
i knew i could count on you
we'll hide our face behind our hair and look down to the ground
we won't let people see our worthless face
so we won't see their judging eyes and we get to hide our shame
come let's just go worthless
cos you and i we're the same

love ya oden.

i'm so happy i got some time to enjoy the school break.
the last couple of weeks have been a whirlwind of assignments and deadlines
and at the end of it all i'm left to catch my breath, looking at the mess
i've made in my room and the dining table,
both i conquered to complete my creative endeavors.



i've got my day planned tomorrow.
first won tan noodles at jurong west market,then off to bras basah
to get some books and magazines for inspiration towards a
new project carmen and i are working on.
i'm really excited about it actually.
i know it's in the beginning stages but i have a good feeling about it.


QUEUE THE BEP SONG :DDDDD

i think i've watched the best movie in my life
no special effects no animation just simple movie

it's called me and you and everyone we know.

think of the movie valentine's day

then strip away all the celebrities and cliche plot that was included in the first place to take advantage of the suckers who watch the movie to profess and prove their love towards each other is stronger than ever


then you get raw emotion. from the former movie of course.

like valentine's day it touches on different aspects and people in love but in a more symbolic way rather than the literal oh i love let's kiss

but the story that struck me the most was the online conversation


you see the elder brother was chatting online with an unknown person and he's writing down random things including dirty comments just to see how the unknown person would react and throughout this conversation his little brother was right beside him.

but the brother diddn't understand a thing of course


and then a few days later the little brother was playing on the computer when a message pops out. it was the unknown person asking if he remembered their conversation the other day.

the little boy looks left and right and then typed that he remembered.


after that the unknown person starts writing dirty stuff and asks you're touching yourself


the little boy puts his two hands together and typed yes.


the entire thing was so wrong yet hilarious at the same time. i think the director thought about how people these days meet other people online. two strangers chatting with each other not knowing their faces or their voices and how that may or may not turn into love. these people often say that they trust each other or that they have a special connection through their online conversation but how sure are you that the person on the other end is not who you imagined it was. maybe he turns out to be a little boy using the computer in a classroom

who knows:D

so she was mocking this concept of falling in love through the internet but yet she understands it somehow because of the ending she puts for this part of the story.


and then there was a part of two eccentric people who met at a shoe department store. the girl works as a driver but she aspires to have her artworks in the museum. what she creates are experimental videos...she wanted to send the video to the museum herself but the director told her to send the tape instead because they might lose it.

this puzzles her and she sends the tape making some amends to it

these amends are acutally just her talking to the camera at the end of the video and she's making a fool of herself because she assumes that the director won't watch her video judging from the way they met... but then she said if you are watching call her number, say macoroni
and hang up


this whole story reminds me of a class i took last year called art critique and basically we talk about different art pieces. you see the irony was that the director did not accept the tape when the girl gave it to her personally thinking that it was rubbish and a waste of time when actually she commisioned an artist to create sculptures only to find out that the art the artist created are actually random stuff he founds including the director's kitty mug, attached to a canvas and then he claims that he created the whole thing. it was so hilarious like a backlash to these people who calls themselves art directors but really they perceive art is rubbish. literally

loll im just talking on and on about about the parts of the movie but really there are so many more epic moments so you should just watch the whole thing.

download it for all i care

take a break from all the commercial crap you've been watching and take time to watch this movie or any other movies that will leave a lasting impression on you and makes you think back and wonder what the parts of the movie really mean and the connotations attached to it. sigh im just in awe now wishing i can erase my memory of the movie in my mind and watch the whole thing again.

Yours Truly Presents: The Morning Benders "Excuses" from Yours Truly on Vimeo.