Life Till Now..

Hello!

I'm back! After a very long time, I know..

Reading back all my emo posts, I realised I've never been much of a happy girl.

I shall throw my emotional things to my other blog.

This blog here shall have a new look and only happy things are to be posted here.

Heehee.. Anticipate!

For now, since today is my last day with Crossroad, I shall start blogging a new life in July.

1st of July shall mark my new journey.

I'll randomly come here and post when there are special days or happy moments.

Maybe some of my wishlist things shall be updated.

I will spend time revamping my blog.

So wait till then! =)

Peace Off..

FML!!

never hated myself so much.
hahas..
seems like everything in my life was wrong.

since young..
stupid
clumsy
dumb
useless

primary sch..
fat
ugly
no use
not good enough

sec sch..
attitude
outcast
bullied
criticised
useless
stupid

I had my zhabos so I still survived.

poly..
lazy
never go sch
sacrifice
never contribute
outcasted

first bf
I think its best that we break up.
I wont have time to pei you

second bf
he's a bastard!
cheat my feelings only.
say what will help me get over first one.
but he's the one cheating and lying.

third bf
love him so much.
wanna live with him forever.
but still seperated.
cos he find me annoying maybe?
find my too naggy?
find me not pretty enough?
find me troublesome?
find me uninteresting already?
I dunno.. I'll never know.

baby..
I was third party.
never should have started.
but he cares so much for me.
and I fell hard.
I loved him.
but it just wasn't right.
I couldn't control myself.
since he was so nice.
but this was never meant to be.
my dream shattered to pieces.

now..
too horny.
but he loves me.
what to do?
he had plans for future..

for love or for money?
another one who says love me?
I dunno how to believe anymore.
cos I fell too hard before.

social life
I failed badly as friend.
since from young till then.
disappointed many ppl.
but what else could I do?
I regret badly though.
cos I could have been better.
now I can only envy.
for I'm the one who's wrong.
blame what more than myself?
for what I am now.

family
I can never choose.
but I wan to help.
limited by myself.
but at least I'm still a part.
regretted a lot for many things.
but somehow I couldn't control.

Things in my life got worse.
but all to blame myself.
its all my decisions no?
with added my body weak.
I really hate myself.
Hate my life and all.
but what else can I do?
but continue to live.
Hopefully I can be better..
when I grow to learn what's best.

FML!!

[NEWS!!] ♥ 7 ELEVEN

Hahas!! Never thought today would happen..
Truthfully.. It never crossed my mind before.
But things just happened to change.
Dunno is the idea came from who.
But anyways..
Yupps!! it happened and I just accepted it.
I had feelings which I couldn't describe.
LITERALLY!

Now I would have many things to resolve.
wahahahas..
Only Liane and Jiemei would understand ba.
>.< Dun blame me..
Its cos only them are there for me this few months.
Everything I tell them.
But maybe this news I want to wait till I see them..
HeeHee.. I wanna tell them personally and I need their advice to resolve the things.

I dunno what's going to happen in the future and I dun care.
Cos I only wan to cherish now.
Dun wanna think too much already.
I had enough.


♥ 7 Eleven

updates for the week..

First of all..

WISH YOU BOTH LAST LONG LONG

I see you both so sweet I also happy.

hahas.. ^^

last pic taken in my old house

went Malaysia - City Square

my toilet camwhore pics

Pics taken at WongKok Char Chan Ting

Laine's obscene pic..

miie and Laine

GROUP PIC!!

the crack on my old house's wall

the 10 year DUST

the MOUNTAIN of boxes

hais.. this mess is getting worse.

I kinda tired.

I cant solve it.

and I hate this feeling.

I got myself into this mess.

and I know I couldn't turn back the time.

I have to move on.

but how long would I take?

I seriously dunno.

hahahas..

anyways.. I'm tired.

I going to sleep le.

just now type one all lost.

never save.

so that's it.

nights!!

ALLIEVERWANTEDWASSOMEONETORELYON

ASHOULDERTOLIEON

SOMEONEWHOTRULYCARESFORME

SOMEONEWHOWOULDHUGMEWHENICRY

SOMEONEWHOUNDERSTANDSMEWITHOUTMESAYINGAWORD

JUSTSOMEONEWHOCANGIVEMELOVE

I wanna go to dreamland...

till now I still ask myself why it happened.
the Queen asks herself what if it never happened.
what would it had been now?
heart still pondering.
still fantasizing of the impossible.
maybe its happier that way.
much happier from what I see.
hais.. stop dreaming and wake up already.

*slap slap slap*

I'm in a bigger mess now.
apparently I still cant get over.
Now with him treating me so good.
I dun wanna hurt anyone.
Either choice would cause great ripple effect.
dun think that any choice would be correct.
I think it'll never be a normal love life for me.
hahs.. its my fault anyway.
I just dun wanna hurt anyone.
So I presume that I should just remain what I am now.
until I can sort myself out.
sorry.. sorry for everything that I've done.
I'm really sorry.

I think I just need more time.
much much more..

Jordin Sparks - One Step At A Time

Hidden message #1

ahhh~!!!!! why the hell I got myself into this mess.
crazy crazy crazy...
ONESTEP AT A TIME!!
listen to jiemei ba.
cos i seriously dunno what to do.
hmm... angry at myself..
anyways..
too complicated to solve now.
slowly ba..
although I dun like to do it this way.
but what choice do I have?
I'm obviously not ready for a r/s yet.
playing with him is too big a risk.
might hurt the one I like.
den continue with him I wan..
but like what jiemei says..
no future one.
all 3 seems like wrong way to go.
how?
but I dun wanna give up on either one.
I like the feeling that each of them is giving me.
but either one is gonna be wrong.
with him.. my sisters dun like.
wtih him.. my sisters' enemy.
with him.. definitely no future.
and he I sure no life again.
but all 3 I like. not the first though.
only my sisters understand what I talking luhh.
wahahhas..
meant to be that way.
but for me..
really is sisters biggest.
I may like all or do some idiotic decisions.
but must can get along with my sisters.
cos if not. den shoo!
i'll not cos of guys throw aside my sisters again.
sisters to the max!!!
although they're together..
but who cares..
they're still my sisters.
wont cos of r/s den throw me aside right?
you'll all i've got for now.
hais..
here I emo again.
damn it!
hate it luhh..

Outing with toot

血光之灾.. 2 Aug 2010

I broke my nail and bled today!!!
damn!
bad omen~
血光之灾..
hahas!

stupid man with the bag.
hais..
pain lo.

look at it!
its gruesome..

These few days..

nth to do.. so blog a bit.

alrights..

wan to blog but lazy..

so keep it simple..

KK hospital that fried rice uncle dote me so much.

make me fat fat gib me so much!!

hahas..

look at the pic you know liao.

such a big hump luhh!!

its about 2 portion of other ppl one norhs.

wahahahhas!!!!

den the auntie gib me lots of spring onion.

I LIKE!!!

hahas...

HAPPY LUHH!!

den fri night go out with maria.

say want watch movie.

in the end he pei me go interview.

den went soup spoon to eat.

food okayys luhh.

but service?

KNS!!

cashier guy dunno wat they have.

den no bread bowl never say.

dunno how to tell me wat's available.

ask him wat is the dish consist of he dunno.

den the server girl attitude.

stupid tomboy.

ANGRY!!

nvm.. so went walk walk.

go FULLERTON STARBUCKS eat cheesecake drink coffee.

see the night sky.

watch ppl walk past.

talk bout this n that.

loLs.. RELAX!! =p

den went to riverside wanted to wait for FIREWORKS..

but in the end cos i say "I also not never see fireworks b4"

so we went home! hahas!!!

after that met with dage at serangoon interchange.

den we went to meet desmond n his friend.

we ate at KOVAN XIN WANG HONGKONG CAFE..

and below is wat i ate! =p

and guo tie too.. i accidentally delete the photo liaos.

lazy upload again..

wahahahahs!!!!

so tat's all lo.

sat morning work,

afternoon sch.

evening project.

night watch online show.

stay home in the night to rot.

hahas..

den sun morning meet up prepare presentation.

afternoon sch.

now home n rot.

was supposed to meet Winston.

but lazy luhh.

somemore big great aunt visit.

so no mood go out nahs.

now dinner also lazy go out eat.

wahahahas!!!

SORRY WINSTON!

PAISEH NEHS..

so now stuck home n watch show lo.

tats all..

tata!!!!

emo.. emo..

you know wat?
i just feel like crying all out.
been hiding for a month plus le..
but i still feel so pain.
everytime i feel like crying i stop myself.
you know how pain is tat?
i just wan to cry..
dun ask me why.
i just wanna cry.
hais..
i dunno wat i'm doing to myself.
i really feel liike giving everything up.
just rot at home do nth.
i so hardworking for wat..
i so flirt for wat.
its not me..
can i borrow a space so i can cry all i want?
cry as loud as i wan.
nobody bother me.
i crying silently now.
very pain..
very very pain..
bottle this time too full le.
cant contain anymore.
everyday force myself so happy.
super tired le still wan act energetic.
every night need to make myself so tired den sleep.
wat am i doing?
i so hardworking go study go work.
wan help my family wan help my own future..
but i see no future.
i'm so tired..
i very pain..
i just wanna rot le.
can?
hais..
let me cry..
but i no choice.
let me continue hardworking bei.
i need to jiayou jiayou zai jiayou.. ^^
*smile*
okayys.. bottle not overflowing le.
glad i stopped it.
shall change a bigger bottle soon.. =p
nights!

Inception!!

watched Inception with SAMUEL today.
quite a nice story.
realised I didn't say very nice?
hahas..
it's not that the show isn't nice.
it's becos its just too complicated for my simple mind.
hahahahahas!!!!!

Its a dream inside a dream inside a dream inside a dream and then inside another dream.
so you tell me..
i understand ma?
hahas.
but eventually I understand..
heh..
but they didn't reveal at the end that scene was real or not.
they left us in a suspense.

overall it's a nice show!
next movie to catch..
Despicable Me!
den sorcerer's apprentice!
then The Last Airbender!!
wahahahhas!!!
but soon no money le~!!
sian.. -.-

I tired le.
so nights everyone! ^^

Sick luhh. Stuck at home.

Here I am again!!

so chop chop.

just wanna say a few things.

that's all.

so firstly....

sch started on 8 July..

17 July going to start the weekend 1 - 6pm class le.

SHAG ARHS!!

5 July

went to Sing K with Samuel n Mingxian.

@ AMK Broadway Plaza.

saw Daniel. ^^

went bowling with Dage, Andrew, Ah Hong and Jeric after that.

wahahahs...

had fun n laughters.

Ah Hong only sit there laugh at me nia.

Idiot.. so zai you throw luhh..

hahahas!!!

after our bowling session..

we went some where near the Mustafa to eat 点心.

went the one called 瑞春one.

didn't take pics of the food thou.

too busy eating luhh. =p

7 July

went prawning @ Bishan, Xin Ming

I caught this humongous prawn luhh.

hahas..

had much fun.

talked with Dage too.

hehe..

we joked a lot.

so i enjoyed.

11 July

CUT HAIR DAY!!

hahas..

had lunch with Dage and his friend and his friend gf.

I dun rmb the names le.

SORRY!!

after lunch went to cut hair.

itchy hand must take dage before n after photo.

hahas.. den can see difference ma.

cos he going back to reservist on 12 July! =p

THIS IS ONLY THE ACCOUNTS PORTION OF LETTERS!!!!!

sick sick de me still need go work on 13 July to handle this amount of work!

which explains why I'm home now. =p

scary luhh.. I started before my lunch den from 12.40pm..

I do till siao.

phone keep come in.. den I need call APM de council members.

shag! so today BTH le..

BTH = BUAY TAHAN!!

BUT!! I going out later luhh..

I where got so guai listen to doc.

of cos is go out luhh..

wahahahahas!!!!

going for bowling at Yishun Safra later.

with my sch mates!

den dinner.

today never go with Maria for Despicable Me!

rescheduled to tmr le. =p

MARIA!! TMR ON ARHS!

3rd n 4th july

ah!!!!!
been nuaing at home.
hehe..
wanted to go out.
but like either no ppl,
or no program,
or not feeling well. =p

hmm.. not good timing to go out.
BUT!!
going sing k on mon 5 july.
anyone?
hahahas...

random stuff

that day went for lunch.

den the rain was super big.

stuck at a bread shop called MIRABELLE @ MCKENZIE RD.

had to take a cab back to office.

seriously hate rainy days.

the rain water so dirty..

sobs. i show you the pic.

maybe cant see clearly. =p

it was SUPER heavy rain and the place was FLOODED!!

pictures and some updates

Photos~!!

miie and my piglet

piglet was my bdae pressie from honey n yuqi

super long den i got it.

cos we were just too busy! =p

photos take n at crab party:

miie n my dajie

miie n my mummy

den others are at the camera.

shall ask dajie to post on facebook.

den i kope le put here. =p

so wat have i been doing?

slack,

work,

sleep,

go out lo.

wahahahas...

alrights. so 30 sep was my colleague Belle's birthday.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BELLE!!

so 1st of july we went to eat

SAKAE SUSHI BUFFET @ TOA PAYOH ENTERTAINMENT CENTRE

surprised Belle with "dajie" = Anthony.

wahahas.. chatted and laughed lots.

so today 3rd June.

stuck at home do nth. =p

last night too..

but was tired.

so eventually slept early.

i think at 11 plus? =p

wanted to go clubbing..

but too tired.

so i forfeit the chance.

my sch gonna start this coming week le.

hais.. sian arhs!! but good too.

den i can see my fellow classmates again.

starting from 17 July, my weekends will be burnt by elective classes!!!

argh.. sian arhs. and i meant SAT n SUN!!

shag.. super uber shag.

but wat to do?

CHIONG NORHS!

alrights. dunno wat else to say.

when i think of it den i come post. =p

till then, TATA!!

Daddy's B'dae Celebration

had dinner at CRAB PARTY tonight.
ate till super full luhh.. =p
took a few pics.
lazy upload now.
heh..
wait luhh.
den i upload all at one go. =p
nth much bout today.
hope my pay come tmr!!!
den i can go out liaos..
muahahahahah....

that's all man.
nth much.
toodle loo~!

28 June 2010

met up with honey , yuqii, n MARIA tonight.
hahas..
had dinner and chatted our night away.
had fun.
will upload photos when i feel better.

tired now.
so ciaos.
buah bye~!!

what I've been busy about these days

Qween Kath is BACK~!!
woo~!!
suddenly have the mood to blog.
wahahahs..

I lazy say too much.
use photos n captions to talk ba. =p

kueh tat my colleague IVY buy for me. =p

a brief intro..

was out with SAMUEL, MING XIAN, and TELSON.

Date: 21 June 2010

Venue: Bugis

What: Steamboat dinner, short trip to ARCADE n POOL at FUSHION

me and MARIA TELSON TAN on bus back home (21/06/10)

*P.S. sorry for MARIA's idiotic face,

he cant constraint himself from his idioticness. =p

me with specs

MARIA bloody hell wanted his pic with our score

yupps.. with my help, MARIA scored 506 =p

MY ZI LIAN PICS~!!!

back to my camwhore life~!

I tried out new hairstyle

Where: at BEDOK JETTY

When: 26 June 2010

Why: Cycling with DORCAS, NORVEN, n MARCIUS

What: K session with SMa Khakis

Where: CHINATOWN 10 DOLLAR KTV

Who: DORCAS, INGRID, ME, NORVEN, DOMINIC, MARCIUS, DR. NEO

yupps.. and that's all. ^^