Kids and upbringing...

I really wonder if it was alright for mum to entrust us with those two kid's upbringing. I can udnerstand her motive behind... yet it's really tough. I get super impatient with them and it just brings a negative impact. Yea, I scold them and cane them, but it really isn't of much use, even when I try to tell them what's wrong, it doesn't get in. Are they too young to understand? or maybe I'm jsut using the wrong words?

It's even more frustrating with my aunt nagging at the kids, telling them to be the first in class and such. She even told my mum to keep mum about my bro's actions at home to the teachers and such; maybe that's to save face? Not a necessity to say maybe? I dunno, it's just hiding. What he does outside, surely reflects what happens inside. Hate to say it, I'm starting to have a very negative impression of my aunts.

2008...

Time flies... and guess what? It's not even 1 year since i graduate from nyp XD. Yea, somehow... i kept thinking it's been a long year, yet it ain't long at all. I'm starting to feel less scared about what i'm doing now, and am even thinking about registering for ntu's adm course! Last day of enrolment is 21st feb for us poly grads... should I..?

I have been hearing not so good stories about the course...but for someone who don't have the $$ to go overseas....(scholarships..? dunno, sounds stressful) it seems friendly... Guess I'll need to draw out my ideas and plans well... sure, the course is no diff from dmd, but i went to dmd thinking that i love to draw, so i should go there....and i was wrong. So maybe.... after going through one hell, one would understand the dangers before going through another hell?

A friend and another

Funny what she thinks.

Or maybe it's just the mind of an over-sensitive soul..

Haiz.... It's the problem of girl A (let's just call her that) again. A friend of mine (girl D) tried to organised a meet for the 4 of us. It's a good chance to catch up with them, chit chat, jam on the ps2 etc. We decided to bring along our artworks to share too. And due to A being unable to find hers, she decided to absent herself. This caused girl B to withdraw, making me withdraw too.

No point to meet when the person I wanna meet doesn't wanna show herself. D agreed...However, she was disappointed. She couldn't comprehand A's actions, especially when this meeting was settled a few weeks ago. Everyone agreed on the time, date and place, only to get this outcome.

After hearing D's lament, I decided that maybe I should just talk and ask A what was bothering her. Somehow, I had a feeling that A would never open up to me, even though she appears to take my advice in times of trouble. Hell, I asked anyway. Slowly... And yea, found out her reason for not turning up that day, but behind that, I could feel her hiding a deeper reason. As expected, she wouldn't tell me. I respect that and let her be. Dunno why, although we are friends, I could feel a cold wall building up around her towards me. Maybe just my imagination...

Told D the reason that A told me, added in what I thought about her behaviour of self-blaming... resulting in D deciding to talk to her. I was worried at first, cos D is quite fiery while A appears watery... maybe too watery. Heck, I didn't stop her and let her talk.

Minutes passed.... no replies. I thought it was a doom situation, till D replied. 'All is well! I'm glad it ended nicely!'

Yea, it wasn't the first time A did that and the friendship between them is almost breaking. I was happy about the positive outcome, tho i wonder if I have been interfering too much. Ah well...

Untitled 3

Okie....a long hibernation there....

Wow...

So fast...It's been so long since fusion ended.... and I'm officially a diploma holder. Yea. Looking back, I wonder how i survived that? Haha. Hahaha~ It's crazy....It's a tough cert to grab.

Now...just wonder what I should do..?

A colleague of mine at work told me to go for a degree.... Aunt told me I can get into the second year immediately with the diploma I have... but the thought of studying the same thing, going thru the same hell and then coming out all confused and uncertain makes me wonder if all is worth it? Do I even wanna get into this field? You can always do something else after that... but what? What else am I good in? What can I do?

.....Practically nothing.

Untitled 2...

Sick. Sick. Sick.
37.6 to 37.8 to 38.0 to 37.2 to 36.9
Yea. It's like an unstable share holdings. XD
It's been a while since I'm sick... still coughing and runny nose-ing, but the fever has subsided. Guess it'll take time...

Dear school of design....

“For those who don't give a rat*ss about animation, career etc Goodbye. Nice knowing you. Congratulations, you have 2 months left. Quoted from mr eugene’s mail…”


Well… when I read this, I felt rather sad… Somehow, maybe we as students have disappointed our lecturers too much these times, taking things for granted, so it’s time to be grateful… J

I am really grateful for all the things the school has done for me and to me. I had never experience so much in my life.

Throughout all these 2+ years, I have been drilled technically in many softwares, particularly adobe photoshop and illustrator, and learnt the basics of animation and anatomy.
I have learnt how to fulfil the needs of a client, at the expense of my interest in art.
I have come to understand that what I did, not all would appreciate.
I’ve learnt to accept criticisms with a smile.
I have learnt how to break away from manga slowly, towards the western cartoony styles, as ‘manga is overdone’.
I have come to realise that things are based on logic, not just intuition; that a piece of art needs to have a concept, not just what you feel.
I have learnt that competition is a great learning ground, yet is the easiest place to kill a student’s interest.
I have learnt that people are realistic, because they don’t care how you’ve grown, rather what honor and pride you have brought to them, through which, I have learnt the art of pleasing them.

Hence, I thank my school for letting me know the taste of despair, the feeling of death of one’s passion, which had been alive for the past 17 years. Thanks for the high expectations, which I tried to keep up with and in turn, discover what is truly important for me; the people whom I have truly taken for granted, the friendships forged. Thanks a million for letting me come to peace with art, what art truly is now to the world, and what I truly have taken it as.

Above all, thanks for creating these situations, giving me a chance to know what it is to regret, put down, and move on with life.

Untitled-1

Okie, long time no post :)

It has been a rather...fast month and the holidays are just 4 days away. Somehow, this made me look back at my portfolio and think about what I have to show in due time. I don't have much. My portfolio is in a complete mess. Like what Ms Lee said, it doesn't have a direction.

I was very afraid. What if I have nothing to show that day on Fusion? My future is gone... That was my mentality sometime back, and I've learnt to look on the other side of life. 'Hell, I just wanna get my diploma and get the hell out of here, Heck care what job I get.'

"My portfolio is in a mess."
Now, it's my turn to listen to others saying this same thing
Well.... 'the boat at the bridge sure travel straight.'
Guess I'm not alone.


(just a little pic I did during my absence from this blog :) That's my maple fren and my archer.)