Come tomorrow, I will have been living in Canberra for exactly two weeks.
I guess I never got round to describing what it was like to leave Kuching or how my holidays went because I was lazy.
Since college has started, I have to start shaving off that laziness so I’ll start with a blog post. :)
I never got to mention how grateful I am that on that last night before I left my hometown, I got to have a small dinner.
I mean, we only get to leave home to study abroad for the first time once in our life.
The saddest part about my leaving that Monday afternoon was not so in the fact that I’m leaving a familiar surrounding behind (although, no doubt, I miss it badly now). Rather, it was in the fact that I had to leave without bidding a proper goodbye to my father.
What was supposed to be a family dinner and a proper send-off turned into a week-long hospital visits. So for the first time I stepped away from my home to study abroad, I had to leave while seeing my father still in hospital. It was nothing less than luck that my mother could leave her work for a mere hour to come home and bid me goodbye. Again, it was supposed to be a proper goodbye but she used up her leaves to take care of my dad the previous week.
It may sound sad – and indeed it was – but it was not that bad. In that one week, I had my eyes opened to see the small miracles that God had put in place.
I think it was more than a coincidence that a senior I had not seen for two years suddenly appeared by my father’s bedside as his nurse. It was more than anything I could hope for when I had a dinner to go to. And it was a good dinner too.
I didn’t think that leaving was such a big deal. I guess that is because my friends and I have been bidding goodbye to each other and waiting for each other to return so often that we are all fairly used to it. December is always a month to look forward to. Every year, we grow up just a little bit to try new things, go to new places and push that curfew just a little farther. So when Maryann, Elaine and Kelly rushed to the airport after Kelly’s driving lessons, I was well, a little touched.
Leaving wasn’t a big deal at all, really. That was, until I reached KLIA. Lo, and behold, I saw before me so many entourages accompanying my fellow comrades. All of a sudden, three friends at the airport seem like such a miserable send-off. Of course, I couldn’t have hoped for a better turnout because everybody seems to be elsewhere studying, working, or in the case of Marilyn, travelling. Three was, in a way, three figures above my initial expectation.
So things don’t often go as planned. My parents didn’t make it to any airport that day. But I had three friends. And it felt like home. Well, it felt right because instead of exchanging soppy speeches like people so often do, we sat and talked crap, reminiscing about our ridiculous past.
Kelly: I always got scolded! I yawned and I got scolded. I YAWNED, okay. *points at Maryann* She SLEPT. And she didn’t get scolded!
The send-off that lasted for 15 minutes was the only one I got that day.
When the time came for us to enter the departure gates, I caught glimpses of how others say their goodbyes. For a second I was almost envious. But then I realized that this is going to be no different than when I was in Sunway. When I bade my goodbyes using my cavewoman gadget, perhaps the best well-wishes I received came from my teachers who still believe in me.
I have known for a long time that I draw my confidence from the people around me. When that falls apart, I fall apart. The lesson I learnt then (and will have to keep learning over and over again) is that I have to start drawing confidence from myself and from God.
And things will be okay.
And they did go okay because I got my overweight luggage across without any extra charge. Teehee!
