Been along time since i felt like that...
Saturday, February 23, 2013
Saturday, January 12, 2013
Monday, December 3, 2012
Take a deep breath and slow it down.
Didn't get to do my SCM
Even though I sign up and really wanted to
Was quite disappointed that no one ran in place for me
If I know u didn't wanna go for the run
Should have passed it to my other friend instead.
Wasted the slot
I really wished that I could be the one running and completing the race.
But thanks to my dear leg
I can't.
Zzz.
Woke up today and head down to Starbucks to study.
Had burger shack for lunch.
Drew some cranes on my msm an paper
Haha. Too bored and needed a break!
Bought some blueberry biscuits.
One that I loved a lot and haven't had it for a looooooooong time.
Did a collage of the Xmas lightings at orchard.
Niceeeee.
Had light dinner and homed.
Saw how the mood changes when I disagree.
Sometimes I really felt like I'm forced to accept everything.
A little bit of disagreements can cause so much unhappiness.
Does one small little thing Determines everything?
I don't know.
I have been giving in, don't know if it is noticed.
I do deserve some respect sometimes when I said no.
Maybe I should have prevent everything.
Slow things down abit.
So that I wouldn't be obliged to give more.
And moving a little step in each time
I will keep the promise I've made to myself.
Another thing is
I still can't forget the past.
Yes and it's December already.
Time flies.
U will be back soon.
Though the chances are really slim
I Really hope I don't see u on the streets of sg.
I won't know how to react.
I've been left here alone.
Crawling out of the deep and scary memories.
Now, with a little help.
Hope to get out of it soon.
Time to move on. Really.
Gotta stop wasting my own time and energy.
Even though I sign up and really wanted to
Was quite disappointed that no one ran in place for me
If I know u didn't wanna go for the run
Should have passed it to my other friend instead.
Wasted the slot
I really wished that I could be the one running and completing the race.
But thanks to my dear leg
I can't.
Zzz.
Woke up today and head down to Starbucks to study.
Had burger shack for lunch.
Drew some cranes on my msm an paper
Haha. Too bored and needed a break!
Bought some blueberry biscuits.
One that I loved a lot and haven't had it for a looooooooong time.
Did a collage of the Xmas lightings at orchard.
Niceeeee.
Had light dinner and homed.
Saw how the mood changes when I disagree.
Sometimes I really felt like I'm forced to accept everything.
A little bit of disagreements can cause so much unhappiness.
Does one small little thing Determines everything?
I don't know.
I have been giving in, don't know if it is noticed.
I do deserve some respect sometimes when I said no.
Maybe I should have prevent everything.
Slow things down abit.
So that I wouldn't be obliged to give more.
And moving a little step in each time
I will keep the promise I've made to myself.
Another thing is
I still can't forget the past.
Yes and it's December already.
Time flies.
U will be back soon.
Though the chances are really slim
I Really hope I don't see u on the streets of sg.
I won't know how to react.
I've been left here alone.
Crawling out of the deep and scary memories.
Now, with a little help.
Hope to get out of it soon.
Time to move on. Really.
Saturday, December 1, 2012
Once in a while, after a month.
Gonna be quite a long post.
Because i havent been here for a long time.
Been to town these two days.
All the Christmas decorations are up.
All those pretty lights and christmas trees made me feel that Christmas is just a few days away.
Wonder how will my christmas this year be like, even though I'm not really looking forward to it yet.
Having a hard time catching up with my school work.
But time flies.
It's already December.
The next thing we may know is 2013 is coming. (if the world doesnt end in dec)
Of coz I'm hoping that the rumors about world ending isn't real.
Lots of things that I wanna do and not yet done.
Planning to visit Aussie next year when I save up enough to
Realized that the last time I updated was exactly one month ago.
In this one month, many things happened.
Shall write down whatever that I can remember.
Firstly.
I finally managed to quit my job.
Like after so many tries.
Secondly, I managed to passed my TP!
Finally got my license
Something that I really hope to quickly get over and done with.
Main reason is No more expensive driving lessons:D
Which means lesser work
More time for myself and studies.
Didn't expect myself to pass.
And of coz thanks to the help of my cute driving instructor all these while.
Thirdly, school fees settled.
Big burden off my mind!
These 3 things are the greatest obstacles this yr.
Glad that I made it through.
Thanks for all my friends that stand by me all these while.
Giving me all the help that I needed.
Yes my flow of thoughts is very disorganized.
That explains why I'm jumping from here to there and to everywhere in this post.
Yes, and Barclays is over.
Had a great time working with the service leaders.
Joined dodgeball and city venture.
Next up, challenge shield.
And I really hope no more events after this.
I'm hoping that my leg injury can heal quicklyyyy.
Wanna get back my fitness in jc and continue to be slim and fit.
Get back to some proper training.
Gave up my stand chart slot.
Even though I really don't want to.
But thanks to my leg, I've got no choice. :(
Thinking of half marathon for sundown next yr.
Done with all the major events that happened in this month.
Tried to study just now.
But failed.
Super restless
And my dear eyes aren't helping.
Now to more serious thoughts and more personal stuff mine.
Just some personal thoughts here about what i have seen.
No reference to anyone in particular.
It's funny how some ppl can be so Teo sided.
Now they are here bitching about each other.
So badly.
As though they hate them to the core
The next moment u see them Tgt as though they are BFF.
Yes the older we grow things get more and more complicated.
Sometimes I just wish that i will never grow up
Some ppl are friends with u for a reason or another.
We just have to be careful of who we trust.
And recently things didn't go v smoothly for me at home.
Shall not elaborate here on what happened
My closer friends should know.
Sometimes I myself get so lost in whatever that is happening to me
I really dk what I want sometimes.
I don't wanna be forced
And don't wanna feel obliged.
I don't know what I really feel
I don't know what I should do either.
I still need time.
More time to figure out myself.
Mixed feelings i don't know how to elaborate exactly how I feel.
Dk how to best describe it.
I don't seem to know anything.
So useless and helpless...
Because i havent been here for a long time.
Been to town these two days.
All the Christmas decorations are up.
All those pretty lights and christmas trees made me feel that Christmas is just a few days away.
Wonder how will my christmas this year be like, even though I'm not really looking forward to it yet.
Having a hard time catching up with my school work.
But time flies.
It's already December.
The next thing we may know is 2013 is coming. (if the world doesnt end in dec)
Of coz I'm hoping that the rumors about world ending isn't real.
Lots of things that I wanna do and not yet done.
Planning to visit Aussie next year when I save up enough to
Realized that the last time I updated was exactly one month ago.
In this one month, many things happened.
Shall write down whatever that I can remember.
Firstly.
I finally managed to quit my job.
Like after so many tries.
Secondly, I managed to passed my TP!
Finally got my license
Something that I really hope to quickly get over and done with.
Main reason is No more expensive driving lessons:D
Which means lesser work
More time for myself and studies.
Didn't expect myself to pass.
And of coz thanks to the help of my cute driving instructor all these while.
Thirdly, school fees settled.
Big burden off my mind!
These 3 things are the greatest obstacles this yr.
Glad that I made it through.
Thanks for all my friends that stand by me all these while.
Giving me all the help that I needed.
Yes my flow of thoughts is very disorganized.
That explains why I'm jumping from here to there and to everywhere in this post.
Yes, and Barclays is over.
Had a great time working with the service leaders.
Joined dodgeball and city venture.
Next up, challenge shield.
And I really hope no more events after this.
I'm hoping that my leg injury can heal quicklyyyy.
Wanna get back my fitness in jc and continue to be slim and fit.
Get back to some proper training.
Gave up my stand chart slot.
Even though I really don't want to.
But thanks to my leg, I've got no choice. :(
Thinking of half marathon for sundown next yr.
Done with all the major events that happened in this month.
Tried to study just now.
But failed.
Super restless
And my dear eyes aren't helping.
Now to more serious thoughts and more personal stuff mine.
Just some personal thoughts here about what i have seen.
No reference to anyone in particular.
It's funny how some ppl can be so Teo sided.
Now they are here bitching about each other.
So badly.
As though they hate them to the core
The next moment u see them Tgt as though they are BFF.
Yes the older we grow things get more and more complicated.
Sometimes I just wish that i will never grow up
Some ppl are friends with u for a reason or another.
We just have to be careful of who we trust.
And recently things didn't go v smoothly for me at home.
Shall not elaborate here on what happened
My closer friends should know.
Sometimes I myself get so lost in whatever that is happening to me
I really dk what I want sometimes.
I don't wanna be forced
And don't wanna feel obliged.
I don't know what I really feel
I don't know what I should do either.
I still need time.
More time to figure out myself.
Mixed feelings i don't know how to elaborate exactly how I feel.
Dk how to best describe it.
I don't seem to know anything.
So useless and helpless...
Thursday, November 1, 2012
Woke up in the noon
Slept like a dead log
Hahaha
Haven't done anything from the moment I wake up till now
I guess it's time for me to start studying hard
It's already November
Time fliessssss
Won't be going for training later I guess
Seeing ppl run and I myself can't really sucks
So shall stay home
And be good
With this good weather
Best time to just lie in bed
Listening to some music
Gotta do some work later on
Facing some problems recently
Or shld I say EXISTING PROBLEMS
Nv liked being the eldest at home
heavy responsibility
Shall not elaborate more
About those things
Focus on happier things
I'm contented with some of the things I have now
Couldnt asked for anything more
Yup and I really hope things will still turn for the better.
Gotta stay strong and be more discipline and work HARDER.
That's all for now!
Be back again sooooonn
Slept like a dead log
Hahaha
Haven't done anything from the moment I wake up till now
I guess it's time for me to start studying hard
It's already November
Time fliessssss
Won't be going for training later I guess
Seeing ppl run and I myself can't really sucks
So shall stay home
And be good
With this good weather
Best time to just lie in bed
Listening to some music
Gotta do some work later on
Facing some problems recently
Or shld I say EXISTING PROBLEMS
Nv liked being the eldest at home
heavy responsibility
Shall not elaborate more
About those things
Focus on happier things
I'm contented with some of the things I have now
Couldnt asked for anything more
Yup and I really hope things will still turn for the better.
Gotta stay strong and be more discipline and work HARDER.
That's all for now!
Be back again sooooonn
Monday, October 29, 2012
NEED A SEC TO BREATHE!
Have been very busy coping with everything in my life now..
School, work, studies, driving lessons and CCA.
Been lagging behind for school work now.
Really needa catch up ASAP
IF NOT
at the end of the year,
I'll be dead.
Dont wanna waste my parents money again this year
Gonna try and do my best
shall briefly update about my life recently...
WORK
But to start off,
gotta quit my job totally,
resignation letter already submitted
this is the THIRD time alr.
hopefully they let me off
I'm really hoping that my bosses and managers will understand my decision
because my work is really taking up too much of my time
having to juggle between work and school
i can hardly breathe alr
i admit it was partly my fault for making a rush decision in deciding to join full time
but den back den i didnt have so much commitments
and i didnt expect that i would have to go to school for longer hours
having to work and study is far to exhausting
not enuf rest time
no time to revise my work
so hope to get it settle asap
so that it wouldnt be too late for me to catch up with my school work and studies.
i still love working there,
love the people there
just that i cant anymore
gotta think of myself and be selfish for once.
School
so far, school has been good.
trying not to miss out any lessons or be late.
but den again
am so tired that i really cant force myself out of bed and get to school
thus missing lessons
if i were to force myself to sch
i would end up falling asleep in class
or feeling very restless
cant concentrate well.
i really wish that i can enjoy school life any other of my frens are enjoying now.
but anyway, thats not possible so i should just stop hoping and dreaming about it
given my current circumstances.
CCA
Been enjoying my current CCA,
I'm much happier to be back in track as compared to being in SRC
less expensive cca
and ppl here are more genuine
somewhere that i can have a stronger sense of belonging
dont like ppl who join cca for the sake of making frens
SRC is more of a socialise club which doesnt suit me at all
am glad that i didnt continue this year
so yup
so far
did Sunig and nike10k
and i missed my 30km run this morning coz of waking up late
again coz of work
being too tired
thats why i really needa get my life back by quitting my current job
42km in about 1month time,
am worried that i cant complete it
but whatever that comes along i will just go with it la
one step at a time:)
as usual slept thru the day
like a pig.
maaybe i should sleep less
even though im alr have a servere lack of sleep
might help me in slimming down more,
off to bed.
goodnight world.
hope tmr will be better.
School, work, studies, driving lessons and CCA.
Been lagging behind for school work now.
Really needa catch up ASAP
IF NOT
at the end of the year,
I'll be dead.
Dont wanna waste my parents money again this year
Gonna try and do my best
shall briefly update about my life recently...
WORK
But to start off,
gotta quit my job totally,
resignation letter already submitted
this is the THIRD time alr.
hopefully they let me off
I'm really hoping that my bosses and managers will understand my decision
because my work is really taking up too much of my time
having to juggle between work and school
i can hardly breathe alr
i admit it was partly my fault for making a rush decision in deciding to join full time
but den back den i didnt have so much commitments
and i didnt expect that i would have to go to school for longer hours
having to work and study is far to exhausting
not enuf rest time
no time to revise my work
so hope to get it settle asap
so that it wouldnt be too late for me to catch up with my school work and studies.
i still love working there,
love the people there
just that i cant anymore
gotta think of myself and be selfish for once.
School
so far, school has been good.
trying not to miss out any lessons or be late.
but den again
am so tired that i really cant force myself out of bed and get to school
thus missing lessons
if i were to force myself to sch
i would end up falling asleep in class
or feeling very restless
cant concentrate well.
i really wish that i can enjoy school life any other of my frens are enjoying now.
but anyway, thats not possible so i should just stop hoping and dreaming about it
given my current circumstances.
CCA
Been enjoying my current CCA,
I'm much happier to be back in track as compared to being in SRC
less expensive cca
and ppl here are more genuine
somewhere that i can have a stronger sense of belonging
dont like ppl who join cca for the sake of making frens
SRC is more of a socialise club which doesnt suit me at all
am glad that i didnt continue this year
so yup
so far
did Sunig and nike10k
and i missed my 30km run this morning coz of waking up late
again coz of work
being too tired
thats why i really needa get my life back by quitting my current job
42km in about 1month time,
am worried that i cant complete it
but whatever that comes along i will just go with it la
one step at a time:)
after nike 10k,
that following wed had my share of fun with the track ppl
den back to reality again.
having said all these, there are still 1million things on my mind
not feeling too good
felt so burden like before
hate being the eldest at home really.
sometimes, i really think its too much for me to cope
i just need to rant.
not only family issues
there is so many other things that i need to think and worry about.
but am too lazy to type out everything here,
maybe another time when im free
i will.
practically wasted the whole day today
nothing productive from meas usual slept thru the day
like a pig.
maaybe i should sleep less
even though im alr have a servere lack of sleep
might help me in slimming down more,
off to bed.
goodnight world.
hope tmr will be better.
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Totally Exhausted
Been some time since I'm last here
Too busy to be here often
Am so exhausted
Due to sch, work and personal matters
Just wish that I had that kind of luxury that ppl easily have
Just lie there in bed and relax
Or go to some cafe when there is still daylight to slack
Really wanna do that one day
I just wish that I'm like the others
Having a healthy and fun school life
Not like what I'm now
Struggling through every single day
But now I'm so so so tired and stress up about sch and work
Really no time for myself anymore
Like totally
Am alr trying my best to keep myself going
But it seems like my parents doesn't understand
Sometimes I really felt like giving up so much
So so much that I felt like crying so hard
Yes I'm trying to keep myself happy everyday
But still no matter how strong I'm
There will be one day when i think I will really not be Able to take it.
Because its just too mentally and physically tiring
Ppl closer to me will know why
Trying to juggle sch work and home stuff isn't easy
Really.
Sometimes I really really think that all these are too much for me to cope
I really don't know how to make things better
And I really dk how else I can make my mummy believe that I'm really busy and not playing
It's like I'm nv good enuf
It's like every single minute when I'm awake I have things to do
Don't even have Enough sleep alr
But no one ever understands
All the do is the scold and scold
I'm really really so so sooooo tired
But all these aside
I did enjoy myself during training today:)
Visited grandma today
Missing her a lot
And I can tell she misses us a lot too
I'm sorry for not able to visit her often enough
I wish to but my schedule is just too packed
Cousin got married over the weekend
Beautiful bride
Hope they stay happily ever after :D
I guess that's all
Will be back here when I'm free
Too busy to be here often
Am so exhausted
Due to sch, work and personal matters
Just wish that I had that kind of luxury that ppl easily have
Just lie there in bed and relax
Or go to some cafe when there is still daylight to slack
Really wanna do that one day
I just wish that I'm like the others
Having a healthy and fun school life
Not like what I'm now
Struggling through every single day
But now I'm so so so tired and stress up about sch and work
Really no time for myself anymore
Like totally
Am alr trying my best to keep myself going
But it seems like my parents doesn't understand
Sometimes I really felt like giving up so much
So so much that I felt like crying so hard
Yes I'm trying to keep myself happy everyday
But still no matter how strong I'm
There will be one day when i think I will really not be Able to take it.
Because its just too mentally and physically tiring
Ppl closer to me will know why
Trying to juggle sch work and home stuff isn't easy
Really.
Sometimes I really really think that all these are too much for me to cope
I really don't know how to make things better
And I really dk how else I can make my mummy believe that I'm really busy and not playing
It's like I'm nv good enuf
It's like every single minute when I'm awake I have things to do
Don't even have Enough sleep alr
But no one ever understands
All the do is the scold and scold
I'm really really so so sooooo tired
But all these aside
I did enjoy myself during training today:)
Visited grandma today
Missing her a lot
And I can tell she misses us a lot too
I'm sorry for not able to visit her often enough
I wish to but my schedule is just too packed
Cousin got married over the weekend
Beautiful bride
Hope they stay happily ever after :D
I guess that's all
Will be back here when I'm free
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)