there are just times, when giving up seems like a much much better option.
there are just times, when following seems like a much much better option.

correct me, if you think otherwise.

it just adds on the frustration, i am serious.
bit by bit, i'm getting affected.

i asked, mind or heart.

my mind has decided what needs to be done.
my heart's wavering, constantly.

well, my heart's wavering too close to stand on the same side as what the mind has decided upon.
that's where i struggle, thats when i feel i'm suffocating.

i struggle, to keep going forward towards something i know isn't worthwhile.
i struggle, to keep working on something i know wouldn't be rewardable.
or should i say, something that will never be recognized or never deemed right.

should i just put the simplicity aside for a little while, while i react based on what i deemed would be the best at the situation. though, its just going to be against what many may think?

all in all,
i struggle to keep the fire in me burning. 
i struggle to keep the passion in me burning.
i struggle to put out the fire in me burning arising from the anger and disappointment.
i struggle to keep my hunger at bay.
 
and, i struggle to stay alive this way..

我，把回忆给丢掉了。　


我，把心里一直在意着的回忆所残留下的东西..　
全丢了。

四年了，也该彻底的放下了。　

终于，把一直收着的东西，全给丢了。


期待着，幸福快乐的未来吧　^^　

“XX 的孩子都快生了，你什么时候才愿意找个男朋友啊?”
“在个半年或一年后吧。”
“为什么啊？不怕嫁不出去吗？”
“为什么要怕？ 现在还不是时候啦，连给自己的时间都那么少还要分点给另一个人。等读完书再说吧。”

其实现在的我，很好。
坦白说，一个人在看到别人双双对对时确实会孤单寂寞。
我是羡慕的。

可我也是自私于害怕的。

这些年我一直没说，也觉得每必要说。
曾经的不快了，曾经的心痛一直停留在心里。
我曾经说过，除非我真懂得爱自己疼惜自己后才会去爱另外一个人。
爱很简单，就像幸福也很简单。
可就是因为简单而被人类复杂化了。

我曾经以为那方式就是爱，但我错了。
我也曾经以为那就是幸福，但我也错了。
彻彻底底的错了. . .

这几年，我很努力。
至少我自认很努力，呵呵。
努力为自己而活。

上大学是我一直的梦想，我还有一年就毕业了。
工作上，我也为自己建立起了小小的满足。也比同龄的朋友拥有更高的职位，也很庆幸的学了很多。
我爱上了SJ，总是能让我在忙碌或不快了是大笑。
我也花多时间陪家人。

这，是我现在的幸福。
很简单却快乐的幸福。

对于爱情，我还有必须彻底告别和收拾的。
这，也会在考完试后好好整理。

我相信我努力了，我会得到应该得到的收获。
人生虽短暂，可也不可能将所有的一切堆挤在一起吧。
属于我的那个人，会出现的。
他，一定会。

因为，我的幸福属于我自己。

李赫宰，我们一起加油吧 ♥

一直都很喜欢偶吧这张在巴黎的照片..艺声都成了背景了!  呵呵呵..

每个人都有着自己奋斗努力的理由，我也一样..
这段日子来，有着多余的不快乐..
坦白说让我有些喘不过气来。

才发现原来世界不仅仅有着黑白两色，而是参杂了太多的颜色..
我的辛苦，我的不快其实来自于认定事情应该只是黑白而已。
说起来，是自己的问题吧?

一直以来，对我而言，对就是对而错就是错。 是不因该参杂着其他的..
可这段日子我才明白，其实这世界有并没有绝对..

我也突然明白，其实初心一直都在。
是在迷茫是，忘了而已..
比全世界都更明白自己想要的是什么，而什么能让我真正的快乐。
其实，幸福真的很简单..
其实，只是想每天上班下班，上学，在家时看看戏听听歌..
当然，前提是，工作必须能给于满足感。
更当然，有着偶吧们的日子..

还有，大家健健康康的..

这就是我的幸福..



 十月三十，偶吧入伍了..
这是偶吧唠唠叨叨说要入伍快一年后，正式入伍..

这一年来，一直提醒着入伍的事。
也或许因为唠唠叨叨了那么旧，似乎是在让所有人做好准备一样.. 减少了很多的不舍吧..
等入伍前拍摄的所有都过去后，会很想念吧..
 
就像现在想念这稀澈一样.. 会更想念偶吧.. 

夜深人静时，我害怕的竟是自己。
我，变了。
变的连我自己都有些害怕。
这几年为了自保我做了什么，也多少人因为我遭殃了？
有心也好，无心也好。
做了 就是做了，说了就是说了。
原来，人真的会为了自保为了保全爱的人变的不再单纯变的不再天真。
我的初心，我把你忘了吗?
我的初心, 你是否也遗忘了我？

是因为害怕了..
付出真心并非能确定的，肯定的得到回报。

可，我好悲哀。
原来，原来是我放不过自己。
放不过自己曾经傻过一次。

眼泪孤独是我最好的朋友，唯一的惩罚..

 

working on the very last assignment for my 4th semester, marking the end of classes of the semester as well as the end of my 2nd year after exams in a month's time.

uh.. it's been 2 years i lived this way. it's been 2 years i've worked this way which frankly not hard enough still.

twinnie's solemnization.
fact of the matter, we've all grown up.
while twin gets married, i'm still enjoying singlehood.
or should i say, am still packing up the memories regardless happy or sad and prepare to move on and take a new step forward?

these days, as we grow older ..
as we happened to meet in such situations, as one of the girls' wedding bells ring.
i couldn't deny how much i've missed the past.
it seems i've lost something, something i've had before.
it isn't the love i had neither the friends i had.
neither do i know what's been lost which therefore meant the impossibility to look for what's been lost.
yes no?

perhaps, being tied down by all that've happened has made me forgot what it is to really live,
to really breathe hard and deep.
after the exams, i'll pack all that you've left behind and say goodbye.


现实是：两个人在分开后，不管多么努力都不可能是朋友。