Monday, May 07, 2007

+ In Our Element +

Baby, I'm stuck in the middle, and I don't know why
Find the words you sing to be
Sweeter than the words of the bird in the sky
Oh, the days you came around
I feel so good for me
I can take most anything
Cause what you bring

Baby, come on, take a ride in my little blue bug
Keep the windows down
Don't forget to celebrate the radio's up
Oh, the way you hold my hand
There is no other way
We could take a thousand walks
And laugh all day

I find it to be magical
I feel like I'm loving you in 1963
Flowers in my hair now
Little bitty hearts upon my cheek
Baby, you'll be on my mind
'Til I kiss you next time


Rachael Yamagata - 1963




tad gay but ya. its for endearing...

Sunday, May 06, 2007

+ Special K +

You come on just like special K.
just like i swallowed half my stash.
man i just want it to last.


i never knew ice cream had so many wonderful flavours. never knew comfort food could taste so good. never knew rotting wooden benches perched 6 stories sky high could be so splendid. dvds and soft lights. warm yet grabbing. car rides with disc 5 track 7 on repeat. lets drive at 40. it could take hours. i dont care.

if one phrase could describe the last few weeks,

you're simply endearing...

Thursday, May 03, 2007

+ Of Cravings and Addictions +

bryan aint going america anymore. shitballs. the feeling sucks but oh well. life has to go on. bryan will be stuck here in godforsaken spore to train. so get ready to get sick of him.

the last few weeks have been nothing short but pure moments of bliss and ecstasy. the moments where you'd wish for time to stand still and nights where you could just gut the sun. and its these little moments which makes life a little more interesting.

bryan was at his best yesterday. parked his damn car at marina square which is a mother big parking lot and couldnt remember to high heavens where he parked after the movie. so he and his unfortunate friend were lost one storey underground for a good 45mins trudging through sewer lines and what nots. till bryan's ego gave up and he asked for help. bryan's thankful it was you who was lost with him and not anyone else. cos anyone else wouldnt have lasted 5mins down there.

shall we get lost again?







Heavy night it was a heavy night
Feels like we come back from the dead
Heavy night it was a heavy night
I cannot remember what I said to anyone
If we get up now we can catch the afternoon
Watch the under 15s playing football in the park
Let's sit in St. Leonards in this alcoholic day
we're doing the best with what we've got

I would cry all week and so do you
We discern to let us sleep
Let all the draughts creep in to reach for this life
There might be white to smatter you in
That have the right answers
That we British forget
About those north eastern gaps

With you I am cut from a pearl in your oyster
Head on my chest a silent smile, a private kind of happiness
You see giant proclamations are all very well
But our love is louder than words

I love you in the morning
When you're still hung-over
I love you in the morning
When you're still strung out
I love you in the morning


Sunday - Bloc Party




to the roof top we shall now'th for we dinner partak'th

Monday, April 09, 2007

+ From Wannamal to Kokardine +

I have hardly been outside my room in days,
Cos I don't feel that I deserve the sunshine's rays.
The darkness helped until the whiskey wore away,
And it was then I realised the conscience never fades.

When you're young you have this image of your life,
That you'll be scrupulous and one day even make a wife.
And you make boundaries you never dream to cross,
And if you happen to, you'll wake completely lost.

I remember someone old once said to me,
That lies will lock you up, with truth the only key.
But I was comfortable and warm inside my shell,
And couldn't see this place could soon become my hell.

So is it better to tell and hurt, or lie to save their face?
Well I guess the answer is don't do it in the first place.
I know I'm not deserving of your trust from you right now,
But if by chance you change your mind,
You know I will not let you down,
Coz we were the special two and will be again...

I'll step ouside my minds eyes, for a minute,
And I look over me like a doctor looking for disease
Or something that could ease the pain.
But nothing cures the hurt that you, bring on by yourself
Just remembering, just remembering how we were

But I will fight for you,
Be sure that I will fight
Until we're the special two once again...

And we will only need each other
We'll bleed together
Our hands will not be taught to hold another's
cos we're the special two

And we could only see each other
We'll breathe together
These arms will not be taught to need another's
coz we're the special two


Special Two - Missy Higgins






i love this song. anyway did you know your girlfriend has fantasized about your best buddy? its a sickening truth but ya i think its true. cos she wants a piece of bloke thats so close to you.

Sunday, April 08, 2007

+ Of Girls, Girls, and Women +

well its another period of absence. apologies to my loyal readers. its a monday today and the aussies have easter monday holiday. incredible aint it. the land down under is inhabited by a bunch of really chill and slack blokes. nothing's opened on public holidays. even pubs and bars and clubs are closed. me and the dudes couldnt find any alcohol on some of the nights in this damn ghost town.

anyways we spent the one night at the strip club. oh i can almost hear all the ladies going boo now. aint my first time there but this particular was excellent. lets just say the girls were definitely much better looking. i wont disclose all the shady details of what happens in a strip club, ask me in person next time, i just might tell you. heather and amber i must say in particular were rather pretty fine. ok wait they were fucking fine. and my guys simply couldnt get enough of them. its every guys dream. good music, fine wine and beer, and finer women, dancing right before your very eyes. you guys must be thinking right now bryan is a real damn arsehole to take pleasure in such lude acts. but hey im a guy. its au naturale right? ha. i hafta make mention a few incidences which happened. one of the our captains paid 100bucks for a private lapdance and it lasted for half an hour. but do remember gentlemen that what you see may not be necessary what you get. dont forget women these days have the ability to deceive men with paddings and push ups and what nots. so i guess my captain was utterly disappointed when that lady of his fantasy ended up with a bust size smaller than his. ha. and sam, who had his specs rubbed on every conceivable knook and cranny the female anatomy possessed. man was it good fun. and heather who whispered into my ear and wanted me to whisk her away.

ok enough details. i shall spare you. and try to preserve my good boy image. for now.

sunday afternoon, after all the damaged had been done. i took control of the car and told my guys to simply follow my lead and enjoy the afternoon. they sorta agreed but i guess they enjoyed it as much as i did. we stopped by almost every winery, cheese factory, brewery, orchard, honey factory and so on and so on. every 5mins we made a pit stop. got outta the car and headed for wine and cheese tasting. it was excellent. of cos we weren't experts at wine appreciation, but we managed to convince the locals we were. ha. ill definitely be back at the brewery. cos the beers were excellent. they had all sorts of beers. from pils to lagers to draughts to stouts to ales. and we tried everything.

i enjoyed it the most cos its what i've always wanted to do. just drive with no destination in mind and stop at any interesting place to take in the sights smells and tastes. though it was kinda hairy driving with so much alcohol in my bloodstream.

well gotta run. i need to draw maps. fuck.




its pointless trying to figure out what life has in store for you. but rather simply just enjoy what life has for you already.





Your cruel device
Your blood like ice
One look could kill
My pain your thrill

I wanna love you, but I better not touch (don't touch)
I wanna hold you, but my senses tell me to stop
I wanna kiss you, but I want it too much (too much)
I wanna taste you but your lips are venomous poison
You're poison running through my veins
You're poison, and I don't wanna break these chains

Your mouth so hot
Your web I'm caught
Your skin so wet
Black lace on sweat

I hear you calling and it's needles and pins (and pins)
I wanna hurt you just to hear you screaming my name
Don't wanna touch you, but you're under my skin (deep in)
I wanna kiss you but your lips are venomous poison
You're poison running through my veins
You're poison, I don't wanna break these chains
Poison

I don't wanna break these chains, poison (poison)
Burning deep inside my veins
Burning deep (poison) inside my veins
Poison, poison
I don't wanna break these chains
Yeah, poison


Poison - Alice Cooper

Thursday, March 29, 2007

+ Of Meltwaters and Ascensions +

its off to america for me. mid april ill return. mid may ill be gone. for 5 months ill be living it up in blazing hot texas where the women are fine and the spare ribs finer. may not be flying those shit hot jets. but, ha, im happy. in fact im mighty happy.

cos life will be good. ya it may have been my dream to ride in those single seat fast jets and blast through the sound barriers drop bombs on innocent villagers and shoot passenger airliners ladened with people outta the sky, but i've decided that i want a more relaxing life. and plus, im not exactly the right material to be flying those multimillion dollar babies. bryan is better off with a slighty more relaxed lifestyle. picture me as a mean killing machine? cant right? i have the face of a humanitarian. the sorta guy who delivers aid to disaster stricken countries. ya right ill be flying the choppers with guns in america. the ones with enough dirt onboard to kick some serious ass.

lets stop there shall we? im just contented and relieved. seriously relieved. cos in america life will be great. ill get a shitload of mula. i can buy my own house and car. think about it. '79 mustang here i come.

and though the excitement and thrill envelops us guys as we appraoch the end, theres still a slight sense of apprehension and reluctance. cos we all know after this we'll be separated. we'll be off to different places. some to france some to canada, others to america, some back home. its gonna be weird. you've spent practically every single aussie day here with them. everyone has developed a sorta mould which you could identify and fit into. though some may be complete arses, you cant help but love them for who they are. cos it is their unique character which defines them, distinguishes them. and its all these different characters coming together to create this unique combination of people which makes our course special, and oh so damn fucking fine. wouldnt trade my group of friends here for anyone else. ok maybe there are exceptions. but then again, the 10 months together were really great. the combination had to perfect to keep the 16 of us here and still standing strong. mushy enough? ha.

well anyway for someone whose in europe living it up, having the time of her life. stay safe alright babe? especially when you go amsterdam. save some dope for me ya?




Isn't very difficult to see why
you are the way you are.
Doesn't take a genius
to realise that sometimes life is hard.

It's gonna take time
but you'll just have to wait.
You're gonna be fine
but in the meantime.

I don't wanna hear you tell yourself
that these feeling are in the past.
No, it doesn't mean they're off the shelf
because pain is built to last.
Everybody sails alone
oh, but we can travel side by side.
Even if you fail,
you know that no one really minds.

Don't hold on,
but don't let go,
I know it's so hard.
you've got to try to
trust yourself.
I know it's so hard.
so hard, yeah.

I'm over here, lady
Let me wipe your tears away.
Come a little nearer, baby
'cause you'll heal over,
heal over,
heal over someday.


Heal Over - KT Tunstall

Saturday, March 17, 2007

+ Of Harleys, Street Side Eateries and Interstate 95 +

this week was hellish. bryan and navigation didnt mix well. just like his old enemy instruments. navigation and instruments involve a little something we humans affectionately call mathematics. and we all know how bryan and maths fair together dont we. i have not held a calculator for the last 3 yrs. so dont expect bryan to be able to calculate distance speed and time and factor in wind velocities and drift tendencies in lightning speeds especially when he's trying to fly the damn aircraft and drown out that fucking arsehole sitting behind him screaming his lungs out. on one particular flight bryan needed to add 10 to 15. and he gave the answer 28. on another attempt it was 19 and 17. and he gave 15. amazing aint it? you may think its impossible to come out with such horrendous answers but believe me it is when your maxed out. you cannot stop the aircraft and hit the pause button to do your stupid mental sums. im travelling at almost 450 km/hr.

so bryan is a rather stupid dumb dumb when it comes to math.

and bryan hates map drawing. or rather map planning. its the getting up at 5 and sleeping at 2 that irks him. its the missing of not 1, but all 3 meals a day that pisses him off. crackers and coffee and fags are the only things keeping poor old bra going. sometimes i wished george would revive himself and reek another cyclone right over our heads. so ladies if you want a sure win diet programme, come join us. be a professional navigator. i can guaran-damn-tee you will lose 3 kgs in a week. im living proof.

but saturday today was well deserved. a trip out to town and finally convincing some of the dudes to do the things i have been wanting to was most refreshing. we watched wild hogs. its a great show. its what i've always wanted to do. to get a harley when your 50 and dying. saddle up in leather pants and jackets with a bandana. and take a trip down interstate 95. cos according to co, its the straight-est stretch of road he's ever been on. and the one with the best scenery. i think someone knows pretty well what im talking about. cos i've enticed her on taking that trip with me. we'll be clad in our leathers and not give a damn if our beer bellied fats or cellulite encased skins show. we'd have no destination in mind. just the open road and each others company. another escapade. another adventure. remember babe? you better cos that deal is still on.

bryan noticed a little eatery which stood out like a sore thumb along the road which leadeth us from the dungeons to the free world. he had noticed it since the first day he ventured to town. the little hut was so outta place cos in was right smack beside a railroad track. it had the bright neon lights hanging out over its roof which made it look like some sorta whore house for truckers. but it caught bryans eyes cos every night it had long queues and a siege of cars around it. so today i convinced my once balless dudes to pick up the courage and venture with me to check this whore house out. i mean come on guys, whats life without a little adventure. so anyway this whore house turned out to be a burger joint. named alfred's, it has been there since 1947. and yeah did the hut show its years. crumbling walls creaking floorboards collapsing roofs. but the burgers. oh my. oh my fucking goodness. oily, greasy, fatty, dripping with lard, but piping hot, and oh so damn fine. ladies and gentlemen, it is the best burger i have had in all my life. 2 slabs of beef steak, steak mind you, and not patties, a little egg, a few slices of bacon, and generous amounts of lettuces and tomatoes and of cos cheese, the burger was as big as my face. i should have taken a picture of it. i should have. damn. its a little taste of sinful heaven. but worth all the running i gotta do tomorrow.

its in these little outta the way places that usually have the best kept secrets. people shine away cos if you have not heard about it before, or it looks shady or dingy, it probably aint good. but i say fuck all your suspicions and superstitions. you'll never know until you try. you will never live life until you've taken a little adventure. like in thailand with some of my friends. i was the only idiot eating from the roadside hawkers. they were filthy but they had the best tom yam soups. of cos diarrhoea and what nots sufficed but i'd be back there again the next day. cos thats living life. living out in the dumps, having the bare minimum, but enjoying every moment of it. i enjoyed alfreds today. i really did. it was harold and kumar go to white castle epiphanous moment. since fucking 5mnths ago i've always wanted to go there, just too bad i was the only one.

shit hot burgers, ice cold australian brewed beer, and a couple of fags. and excellent company. a terrific evening to end the week.





A friend in needs a friend indeed,
A friend with weed is better,
A friend with breasts and all the rest,
A friend who’s dressed in leather,

A friend in needs a friend indeed,
A friend who’ll tease is better ,
Our thoughts compressed,
Which makes us blessed,
And makes for stormy weather,

A friend in needs a friend indeed,
My Japanese is better,
And when she’s pressed she will undress,
And then she’s boxing clever,

A friend in needs a friend indeed,
A friend who bleeds is better,
My friend confessed she passed the test,
And we will never sever,

Day’s dawning, skins crawling
Pure morning



Pure Morning - Placebo




this song was blasting in the car on the way back. burger and beer filled, finally some of the dudes has taken a liking to my music. placebo is addictive. its the goth yet alternative with mix of techno punk rock and emo all together. they have music for all seasons. when your pissed, depressed, strung out, drunk, wasted, high, elated, desperate, post natal, pms, you name it they have it.


and someone is thinking of radang. rendang? reidang? shitballs. its a definite yes that we'll go check it out alright?




and the truth is, i miss you...

Saturday, March 10, 2007

+ Absolution +

finally i managed to convince someone to follow me for an english breakfast today instead of the usual dim sum or chinese horror galore eatery. and to the delight of my new found friend he has decided to tag along for more civilised breakfast cultures with me in the future. yes i am a bias arsehole. but i kinda like being one ha. it was a rather secluded yet posh coffee joint. out in the business district of perth. aptly names etro it had this very zen feel to it. the chairs and tables are those you'd never find in an ikea catalogue. the eggs benedict was excellent and the coffee wasnt too shabby. and they had bob marley playing in the background. with just a slight cool breeze and pretty waitresses serving you. damn i could live like that forever.

bob marley shall now be my breakfast music. no woman no cry.



She fixes her lips,
They always looks perfect...
Never a smudge line,
Never too mu-ch.

I try on my blue shirt...
She told me she liked it, once.

She wonders what I'll wear,
She knows just what she'll wear,
She al-ways wears blue.

So sneakers or flip-flops?
I'm starting to panic.
Remember she asked you,
"Remember to bre-athe,
And every-thing will be o-kay."

Okay...Okay...
Alright...Alright...
Alright...Alright...
Alright...Alright...


Remember to Breathe - Dashboard Confessional



remember that girl who always made your chest tighten when she waltzed into the room. the girl who always seemed to be giving off sunlight. whose name is the first word you utter when your faced with beauty, be it the sight of a setting sun or the smell of spring. the girl with which sight alone cannot conjure her beauty, but requires all your senses, smell, touch... the girl who made you pray for time will stop, or the night to never end, who forced you to simply wanna gut the sun. this song reminds me of that girl. perhaps love is an insomnia that wakes us from the sleep of life.

she says remember to breathe. and it'll be ok. the power a woman holds over men.

Monday, March 05, 2007

+ My Narcoleptic Dream +

scratch has produced 2 offspring. fluffy and high on steroids they've been tearing up the foyer the last few days. so much so i've spent countless hours with them throwing them balls of paper and cotton wool and what nots. someone wants me to name one of them hu-ten. a human and cat mix. cos apparently i've been fathering them. and one of them looks exactly like eb when she was young. that distinctive bend at the tip of her tail, those bright yellow eys, sharp features, sleeky smooth black fur and that unexplainable intelligence that leaves you constantly fascintated. i call it cat street smart-ness. black pets naturally have this added smarts about them. maybe thats why i wanna own a black labrador when im older.

i miss eb so much.

and noone other cat can replace her.


jo has gotten a tat on her right hip. shitballs. whens my turn? tats forces you to keep fit and look good cos you dont want flabby and drooping skin spoiling it. and perhaps bryan wants a second ear hole too. anyways im gonna make this a short entry cos my internet has been fucking up lately. it goes off ever so often that its been a pain in the arse to blog cos before i can publish anything it lets go and sniggers at me. weekend was excellent cos i visited some island off the western coast. the solitude and the magnificent scenery was my little escape. the snorkelling with the dudes was well deserved. you can never see such beauty back home. and when i say beauty i mean everything. from the scenery to the weather to the girls. girls have never looked so damn good in bikinis before. and the food. the seafood dinner i shared with the guys was by far one of the best. oysters so big that your cheeks bloat when you slurp them in. crabs so fresh you refuse to dip them in the sauces. fish so tender and flaky you wish you had an appetite the size of hoover. and finally the beer. aussie draught beer rocks.

a perfect way to spend the weekend. i wished i had a few people with me. cos instances such as this can only be enjoyed once.

well night flying tomorrow. im taking off into the sunset. jealous?






I should warn you
things you're feeling
Aren't normal now
Think you need me
It's not easy
Let you go somehow. . .

Wishful thinking
Patience shrinking
Bliss is far away
North is calling
Now I'm falling
At your feet please stay. . .

Now we're too far gone
Hope is such a waste
Every breath you take you give me the burdens bitter taste
You promised that you'd stay
You say you wanna go
Your lips provide a shelter for the things that I don't know

Please speak slowly
My heart is learning
Teach me heartache
Stop this burning


Too Far Gone - The All-American Rejects



an old song. strange memories. but i love the words. especially the line your lips provide a shelter for the things that i dont know.

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

+ The Secret Embrace of Invisible Lace +

spring collection for victoria secrets is here!! time to feast the eyes on the female anatomy. ha. and on the cover we have the ever elegant alessandro embrosio wearing only a black transparent babydoll. and gentlemen if your wondering what the hell a babydoll is, then you have a damn long way to go. no wonder you dicks are always clueless on gifts for valentines day.

but lets dwell back on alessandro embrosio. mere words cannot describe her feminity. i mean she's beyond hot, beyond your fantasy girl. she's like the impossible. she makes kids wanna grow up, forces young men to rethink thier engagement, middle aged men to sign the divorce papers, older men stock up on their viagra stash, and gay men rethink thier orientation. she is THE victoria secrets model.

alright enough gibberish for now. i just had to write that chunk of crap down cos the catalogue is simply mind boggling.

seriously lousy weather today. so lousy that we're stuck on the ground. which means another day of waiting and another day later for my return. shitballs. when we started we always prayed for shitty weather cos we didnt wanna fly. but now shitty weather becomes the bane of our existence. nevertheless ill be back soon. 29 more events to go.

saw a video shared by someone on youtube. song by patrick park and the video was comprised almost entirely of scenes from the OC. seth and summer in particular. thier not your average jack and sally couple. thier not those couples you see infesting the local malls and food joints, fat and idle, and apparently bored of each other. seth and summer are simply different. the way summer just stares at seth when seth blabbers on on senseless things and she jumps at him and kisses him. the way seth grabs her and dances to if you leave me now.

i want my summer.

you were my summer.





Here I am, where I’ve been
I’ve walked a hundred miles in tobacco skin,
And my clothes are worn & gritty.
And I know ugliness,
Now show me something pretty.

I was a dumb punk kid with nothing to lose
And too much weight for walking shoes.
I could have died from being boring.
And as for loneliness,
She greets me every morning.

At the most I’m a glare,
I’m the hopeless son who’s hardly there.
I’m the open sign that’s always busted.
I’m the friend you need, but can’t be trusted.

Here I am, where I’ve been
I’ve walked a hundred miles in tobacco skin,
And my clothes are worn & gritty.
And I know ugliness,
Now show me something pretty.


Patrick Park - Something Pretty






could you show me dear? something i've not seen. something infinitely interesting.